Training was boring and slow but produced steady results. I certainly didn't like training, but it was at least interesting when I heavily limited myself.
Since acquiring the Shikotsumyaku I had been pretty much unchallenged in close combat and that hadn't changed.
But when I limited myself in its use, I found myself falling back on the Gentle Fist and my Lightning Ninjutsu which I had neglected in favor of other more interesting techniques.
Training with my less used moves allowed me to have other things to fall back onto if my other techniques were ever to be ineffective.
Limiting myself also allowed me to train Gai and Isami.
Isami and Gai were getting stronger slowly, but steadily. It was taking a while but their slow steady progress would eventually bring them into the big leagues.
Things were progressing nicely and my only complaint was that my Modified farm animals weren't being approved of.
But other then that life was grand, I was getting stronger and time was marching on.
...
My clone was whole, hale, and healthy.
It had been a few months since it had eaten the Tailed Beast flesh and nothing worrying had happened.
It made me less hesitant to mirror the changes in my own body. Sand Control and Magnet Release would be a welcome addition to my arsenal.
But having that weird Tailed Beast like chakra was asking to be used in Kaguya's resurrection.
Being used to resurrect a Space God was a no, no. It wasn't something I was even remotely ok with risking...
"Kekeke..." I turned and stared blankly at Orochimaru, who had startled me with his creepy laughter. I was in my second lab, which was not as well protected as the one in the house was.
"I guess my Fuinjutsu needs some work..." I trailed off as I noticed Orochimaru was shuffling through my notes with not a care in the world. "But I guess they're good enough to keep most people out..."
He was being extremely rude...
Barging into my lab and manhandling my notes...
"Ah, I nearly forgot." Orochimaru placed my notes back on the desk and straightened himself. "I've heard that you were planning to make some 'super orphans' as you called them."
I frowned with narrowed eyes, which caused Orochimaru to smile.
It wasn't supposed to be known, meaning there were listing devices in the Hokage's office or my lab.
"No one's supposed to know about that." Orochimaru's smile widened at my lack of denial.
I rolled my eyes at him and his creepy smile.
"It's not as well hidden as you might think." Orochimaru smiled mysteriously. "Not everyone in the Anbu is loyal after all."
"Sigh..." I sighed heavily. Danzo probably knew about what Minato and I were planning and passed it on to Orochimaru.
"That's annoying." I rubbed my face.
Orochimaru nodded.
"Quite." He agreed.
We stared at each other for a moment. Orochimaru leaned forward and smiled, not breaking eye contact.
"Perhaps we could come to a mutual agreement." He leaned back but his smile widened. "I want some children made with my DNA."
I blinked in surprise. That wasn't what I was expecting.
"Do you want clones of you? Or do you want a mix of your DNA and someone else's?"
It was Orochimaru's turn to blink.
"You can do the latter?"
I nodded slowly.
"I just need some of your sperm and an egg from whatever bloodline you want, the child would be a mix between the two different DNA's." I probably didn't need to explain that. "Though orphaning your child might not be the best option."
Orochimaru nodded slowly, seemingly lost in thought. I had just given him a way to solve his future problems after all.
Though that might not be what he was after when he asked for some children made with his DNA. He might have just wanted to be a father...
Though I figured that was extremely unlikely...
"I need some time to think." Orochimaru side-eyed me for a moment. "You've presented me with some interesting options." He turned and disappeared in a Shunshin.
I was left staring at the open door wondering if I was making the right call.
'Daddy Orochimaru' might have a reason to stay in the village. He might love his child and take an interest in its growth.
Or it could end as it did in canon with Orochimaru becoming a murder hobo.
At least I could say I tried...
Subtle manipulation wasn't my strong suit, I much preferred bluntness and confrontation.
Trying to strengthen the village was hard work...
...
Mom stood and stared at the plaque on the wall.
It was of course the plaque I had made in Wind Country, though with a few extra rules and a literal gold frame.
The lockboxes from Shimo had contained a lot of gold, and I couldn't exactly sell off so much gold...
So now I had my plaque framed with gold.
Though perhaps I should have made a small golden statue of myself...
That might have been a better use of the gold...
"So." Mom continued staring at my plaque, though I could tell she was speaking to me.
I leaned back and waited for her to continue. I could tell she had something on her mind as she had been distracted lately.
"I've been dating someone for a while and I want you to meet them." Mom didn't turn to face me.
A smile stretched across my face as I realized she was nervous and embarrassed. So much so, that she couldn't even face me.
It was adorable.
"When." I carefully smoothed my face over.
Mom kept her eyes glued to the plaque.
"Sometime within the next month." She said quietly.
My smile resurfaced. This was too funny.
"Alright, bring them around the house." I couldn't be in public anymore, I had become somewhat of a celebrity and got swarmed when I sat down for a meal. "No restaurants."
Mom nodded and left without looking at me. I watched her go with a smile on my face.
I was happy she found someone she liked, but also worried.
Hopefully, it was also someone I liked...
Nothing was worse than your parent getting together with a garbage person. I had seen both of my former parents fall in love with garbage people after their divorce and I might be seeing it again.
Hopefully not though. Hopefully, everything would be alright...
...
Minato was a fine guy and a good Hokage, but he was currently annoying the shit out of me
He was dragging me out to the Hidden Lock village or Jōmae Village.
I had to join him and Kakashi on a journey across the Aizoku sea, where we would disembark and travel through Wolf Country, The land of Marsh, Valley Country, Demon Country, and finally landing in Key Country.
It sounded long, annoying, and potentially hazardous. It was everything I hated in a journey.
The only plus was after we crossed the sea there were fewer ninja villages in the following countries.
Only the Land Of Sky and Key Country had ninja villages. And then only Jōmae Village was known about. The hidden village in Sky wasn't known about or wasn't 'canon' in this world.
At least I hadn't seen anything about them in the books I had read.
So, I was in for a mostly quiet journey to another continent with barely any ninja presence.
It sounded like a shit mission and it was a shit mission.
Jōmae-nin were known to be mediators between two negotiating parties, that was the whole reason we were traveling to Key.
The assholes wanted the Hokage to personally make the trip. What was worse was that Minato was making said trip.
What a total piss-off.
You don't bow to the whims others when negotiating.
Why are we making a month-long trip for some inconsequential negotiations?
This was annoying beyond belief.
...
Our trip to Wolf Country was quick.
And by quick, I mean near-instant as Minato flashed Kakashi, Rin, and I across the Sea and to Wolf Country.
Minato had been here before but hadn't done more than set a few markers as most of the countries didn't have ninja villages.
So, we still had a long trip ahead of us.
"Alright, why are we going so slow?" I eventually asked after an hour of slow, silent, walking.
I was already bored and the mission wasn't even half over. I would rather be genetically prodding different animals or even making some sort of half useless seal.
"Do you have somewhere you need to be?"
The clone had enough chakra to last a month, Gai and Aomi could feed and water themselves so I guess not.
"No." My 'no' came out more petulant then I had intended.
Minato and Rin looked at each other and smiled in amusement.
"Then why are you in such a rush? Enjoy the peace, let your mind wander and enjoy nature." That was exactly what I wanted to avoid.
I would have spit in his mouth had Minato not been taller than me.
"Hmph." Kakashi grunted in what I thought was agreement, also putting him on my mental list of people I wanted to spit on or in.
I eyed the cheerful trio with undisguised disgust, though I remained silent from then on.
...
Our torturous trip was finally over and done with.
We had arrived at Key, and we would be teleporting back so I was spared the return trip. I had most definitely ruined the trip for the others judging by the looks I was occasionally receiving.
But how was I supposed to know that using Genjutsu to make a bear pull a wagon was frowned upon? And who knew bears were so oily and flammable?
It was the bear's fault for sitting so close to the fire!
"Ah Minato-sama, you've arrived!" I was pulled from my thoughts and stared in horror at the thing that spoke.
She was so ugly that she could stop bird shit in mid-air.
She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen and probably would ever see. Rin stepped on my foot bringing me back to the terror that was my current reality.
"Ah, Minato-sama, you must be tired after such a long journey! Come follow me, we must accommodate you at once!" The voice that came from that thing was sweet and feminine, it didn't belong to the horror that I was currently witnessing.
"Shiro, stop staring, she has cancer and knows she had cancer. She doesn't need you staring at her tumor." Rin whispered and grabbed my sleeve, dragging me along like the child I was.
I hadn't even realized there was a tumor. Was I the only one who was horrified by her ugliness?
It took me a long time to return to reality after gazing at what could only be called an eldritch abomination.
Her existence had shattered my reality and opened my mind to things I didn't understand. She was the literal manifestation of ugly.
I couldn't take anymore and knocked myself out, both for a bit of theater and to spare myself further consciousness.
...
The woman was once a fairly strong Kunoichi but after some sort of unnamed accident she was rendered disfigured and cancer-ridden.
I sat down and digested what I saw while Rin continued to berate me for my behavior, which was only slightly exaggerated.
"She's not that ugly Shiro!" Rin was shouting at me, not that I cared.
I was still recovering from what I had seen today.
"Like it or not, you have to interact with her in the future." I blinked and turned to Minato who had spoken. "You're going to heal her as part of our agreement with Jōmae."
I blinked slowly at that. I hadn't known we were negotiating with Jōmae. I had thought they were just going to oversee the negotiations.
"So, they want me to fix her face?" I might as well fix her genes as well and spare the world further horror.
Minato shook his head.
"No, you're just removing some cancer." I blinked slowly.
Why hadn't the mission brief contained that?
"Can't say I like surprises..." I opted to fill the silence while making mental plans in my head.
I was most definitely going to fix her face and cure her cancer. If I couldn't do that, I'd give her the gift of death.
"It was a surprise to us as well." Minato said, and Rin nodded.
Kakashi shrugged and nodded.
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I would have to do.
"Take me to her, I will do it now!" I mustered up my courage
If I've learned one thing in life, it was to never procrastinate!
Minato nodded and started towards the exit of what I realized was our temporary housing.
...
Chakra in the Naruto-verse seemed to push evolution forward. It was why there were so few fat or ugly people.
The genes for good looks were heavily favored and eventually got spread around the population. It was why everyone in the Naruto-verse was 'average' at the very least.
Or at least that was my theory.
It could be that there was some unspoken 'law of anime' at work that made everyone look average at the very least.
The point was, that I hadn't seen someone so ugly in my entire existence, and being around the general inhabitants of Konoha had dulled my tolerance for ugliness.
The second look I had at the thing wasn't as mentally shocking as the first one. I could not look at her and not want to bite my tongue off.
The third look was even less mentally shocking, and by the fourth look, I was once again able to act like a normal human in its presence.
"Who would have guessed that the Daimyō was blind?" That of course was sarcasm.
Unappreciated sarcasm.
Rin and Minato stared at me in disapproval, though Kakashi looked vaguely amused.
"We'll get her in here, and catch me in case I faint." Which was a real worry.
She was gross.
Minato nodded and disappeared out the door.
"I'm ready." The woman stepped into the room and I turned my eyes to the floor.
I didn't learn her name in fear of forever tainting the name. Once I associated her name with her face, the name would be forever tainted.
"All right lay down and I put you to sleep."
The woman nodded nervously but did as I said, and laid down.
"Alrighty when you wake up, you'll be a brand-new person." I tapped her on the neck and threw a towel over her face to cover it.
I ignored Rin's disapproving look and shooed Kakashi and Minato away with my hand.
"Alrighty..." I ignored Kakashi and Minato not caring if they left.
I instead opted to scan my patient whose survival was dependant on me finding a way to fix her. I wasn't kidding when I said I would give her the gift of death.
"That's a lot of cancer." Perhaps even the Sage wanted this woman dead.
There was an uncomfortable amount of cancer throughout her body. I wasn't sure it was even possible to fix it.
"You're a lot like your mother." I turned and raised an eyebrow at Rin.
I turned back to my patient a moment later and pondered what I wanted to do.
"Insanity runs in the family."
Rin nodded blankly, and I stared solemnly at the ugly woman.
She had cancer in everything but her lungs and was nearly impossible to save. I had very little hope of saving her, and even if she was saved the cancer was genetic and would eventually resurface.
"There's not much I can do for her." I frowned. "All I can do is try and make her last longer."
Which was cruel. I didn't want to extend her suffering more than necessary.
"That's alright, no need." The woman spoke and sat up surprising me and Rin.
I tossed the towel away and stood up in a smooth motion.
"Don't get too excited, get back onto the table." I poked her in the neck, this time successfully knocking her out. "Alright, I can at least cut down some of the cancer."
It'd reduce pain and extend her life a little. I'd also fix up her skin which was the most cancer-ridden part of her body.
"I'll see what I can do." Even if she was more cancer then human, I could still use those few remaining human cells and Overwrite a bandit.
Rin nodded and stared expectantly at me.
"Go get a prisoner sentenced to death or a bandit."
Rin blinked but didn't question me and headed for the door.
I reached into my kunai pouch and started on gathering stuff for some Fuinjutsu.
I had quite a bit of work ahead of me...
...
