AN: Gratuitous fluff time, with "My Evil Work Is Never Done, I'm Just Taking A Moment To Pet A Platypus". They both need the break.
"Do you want to take a break? I could use a break." Without even waiting for your answer, Heinz drops into his armchair with a groan.
Outside, the sun shines down on Danville, the sounds of the city barely audible up here in his penthouse apartment. Behind you, his inator waits for you to finish thwarting him. An ordinary day in every respect.
Almost. Your nemesis looks different today, more exhausted, the bags under his eyes deeper than usual. Like something's weighing on his mind. Which there usually is, but you're used to hearing it in monologue form, not having to guess its existence from the way his lip twitches. And he calls you closed off. But pushing him about it would be counter-productive, so you'll wait for him to bring it up. That's the sort of platypus you are.
In the meantime, you're glad for the break. Personal time isn't particularly easy to come by in your line of work, so you're used to taking what you can when you can, around your job and your family. For him to offer you some time to yourself is more than you'd ever expected from a nemesisship.
Switching to your off-duty fedora, you jump up onto the armrest and flop across his lap, curling your tail around his wrist to pull it closer. He'll feel better with his hand in your fur.
He takes the hint, working his gentle fingers into the knots in your shoulders, and you relax into his magic touch with a quiet chirr. Much better. As much as you enjoy fighting him, and you do, it's nice to let down your guard sometimes. To trust someone.
That it's your nemesis you're trusting should be more worrying, but why wouldn't you trust him? He's proven himself worthy of it. Only your nemesis could see you at your most vulnerable and not only not take it as an open invitation to destroy you, but find and massage your every ache so you can thwart him more easily. There are rules to your nemesisship, limits you both hold to, and that's one of them.
Bringing his other hand up to your shoulders, he works at your muscles, monologuing softly. "You like this, huh? Of course you do, you're so tense." Increasing his pressure, he draws a low chirr from your throat. "It's like you don't get breaks."
How did he guess? You exhale, draped comfortably over his parted knees. Thwarting him can wait.
"I still have Evil to do, but it's nice to- as long as you're okay with it, I mean. You are, right? Just because you're soft and fluffy doesn't mean you can't kick my butt, and you're not doing that, so... I'm overthinking again, aren't I?"
Taking his hand, you pull it to your bill to nuzzle at his palm, a gesture you know is his weakness. Yes, yes he is. He wouldn't be Heinz without overthinking everything.
He's unusually quiet, but a nudge from your bill gets his fingers scritching under your chin so he's not upset, just lost in thought. "Do you ever wonder," he begins, "if, maybe, we could be- How do I put this? We hold hands way more than most nemeses, for one thing, and then there's, well, this. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, it's nice, just-" Hand stilling in your fur, he sighs. "You know I get lonely, Perry the Platypus. Sure, I've tried dating, but that's not going so well. It's not what you think, either. One minute it's going well, the next, I start wishing I was with you instead. Which is weird, right? You're my nemesis, I'm not supposed to think your smile is nice - which it is - but, ah, here we are I guess."
While you sympathise with his worries, you're not here for him to not pet you. It's called priorities. Another nudge gets him moving again, and you roll over so he can rub your belly next.
Working his fingers into your fur, he chuckles softly. "Demanding, aren't you?" Like he isn't. "Anyway, I was wondering if you, uh- I don't know if you're much for romance- I mean, it's not like it comes up when you're punching me in the face. But if you are, would you want to... you know... with me?"
You stretch and twist, hauling yourself up by his shirt, because this needs an answer more than you need scritches. Which is a lot. Placing your paws on his shoulders, you meet his deep blue eyes, thankful smiling comes so easily when you're around him. His lips turn up at the corners to match, and you touch your bill to them in that human romance gesture you've always been curious about. Is this enough of an answer for him?
"Oh," is all he says, cheeks darkening, and you allow yourself a moment of smugness. Yes, yes it is enough. "You do? I, uh, I don't know what to say. I didn't think I'd get this far, you know? This-" He gestures behind your back, shoulder shifting under your paw. "-is unexpected, and I really do mean-"
Rolling your eyes, you do it again, a pleasant shiver running down your spine at the contact. Does he need to say anything? No, you decide, no he does not.
He lets out a soft laugh, his voice warm, arms curled loosely around you, and then he goes back to monologuing anyway. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus," he murmurs, and kisses the top of your bill. "Perry the Boyfriendpus? Can I call you that? I'm going to call you that, it's nice. Perry the Boyfriendpus, Perry the Boyfriendpus, see? Perry the-"
A quiet chirr escapes your throat as you take his head in your paws and press your mouth back to his. Less talking, more kissing. You'll be Perry the Boyfriendpus all he wants as long as you get to keep doing this whenever he talks too much. Which is always.
This time, he actually listens, melting into you with a wordless sigh. Putty in your paws.
You savour the feeling, committing it all to memory while you can. His hands in your fur, his lips on your bill, his voice in your ear, like thwarting him but not. And just as enjoyable. You still need to thwart him, of course, but the break's been nice. You'll have to convince him to take more of them.
For now, you pull back just enough to give him room to think, tilting your head at his inator. A question, and an invitation. Back to the fight?
"Yeah," he says in a thick voice, and swallows. "Let's get back to it, Perry the Boyfriendpus."
AN: Reviews are always welcome! (Or go to ao3 and leave me a comment, if you prefer :P)
