Shepard stared at the closed shutter above her head, one hand behind her head. Her shoulder was low burn and her pulse was pounding in her temple - a headache coming on from biotic overuse and long hours staring at reports, trying to project purpose, calm, when all she wanted to do was fall into a heap.

Now the ship was still, most of the crew asleep with EDI watching over them after the hard grind of damage control. Shepard had ordered a slow burn towards Omega, more a drift than the blazing speed the Normandy could travel at. Tali wanted to avoid putting any more stress on the damaged hull than absolutely necessary.

There was a long list of damaged systems and injuries to crew, and that was before she even considered the two bodies down in the cargo hold. How kind of the Illusive Man to provide refrigerated body transfer cases.

'Going home' was an option for the first time since she'd woken up on Lazarus Station. It might even be a necessity - she couldn't run a warship without support - but where would that leave the crew?

A lot of them would end up in jail if she just took the ship to the nearest navy base.

And Cerberus...a handful of the crew had been discomfited when it'd come out that Shepard had severed ties. Those who'd drunk the Cerberus Kool Aid. And Rupert, which had surprised her more than she wanted to admit. The rest had always been more ex-Alliance than Cerberus.

She'd drop the former off at Omega and the others on Illium, with Miranda's help in setting up tickets and fake identities to get them home. It wasn't like she could pay them even if she wasn't turning herself in.

"Commander," EDI's voice jolted her out of her reverie, "your communication request has been accepted. Routing to your cabin."

"Thanks EDI." She got to her feet and climbed the stairs, sitting down in time for the glass to darken and then fill with Anderson's face and a backdrop of his Citadel office.

Something in his rugged face relaxed at the sight of her. "You're alive."

"And the Collectors are dead. Zapped the lot of them. Did A- did Lieutenant Williams give you the OSD I asked her to?"

Anderson frowned slightly. "She did. I understood the intel on Cerberus - but the Reaper codes?"

"Reaper IFF codes. I know for a fact that it allows access through the Omega-4 Relay, but given how it works it's possible we might be able to access other relay functions using them."

Anderson whistled. "Damn, Shepard."

"And I left the Alliance a present. Fried the bugs, but their station is intact. I'll send you a copy of the data, but I suggest moving quickly to secure the base. The Illusive Man wanted it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Surprised you didn't blow it up to spite him."

She smiled grimly. "Thought about it."

"Thanks, Shepard. This could really help our preparations for the Reapers."

"Here's hoping." The Illusive Man really seemed convinced he was going to save humanity from the Reapers - but Shepard thought he was rather delusional if he thought he could do it without the Alliance. Cerberus didn't have infantry divisions.

"So...what are you going to do now?" he asked.

"Drop my crew off, turn myself in," she shrugged.

Anderson grimaced. "I don't know that's a good idea, Shepard."

She stared at him, gaze narrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"AIA and naval intelligence have been gunning for you for months, Shepard. In their eyes, you're one of the biggest security leaks the Alliance has ever had. A Spectre and N7 officer with deep knowledge of Alliance classified operations and national secrets, gone over to the enemy."

"I haven't told Cerberus anything." No one had even asked. She guessed Miranda had known she'd never say anything.

"I know that, Shepard. So does Hackett. He's been stonewalling them, made sure they couldn't go after you - but then." He rubbed his face, suddenly looking tired and old, "You just had to go and meet with the Alliance's Spectre candidate."

"The -" Shepard cut herself off. Oh. Understanding fell over her. "Ashley. That's why she's on the Citadel."

"Yeah. It wasn't like we….volunteered the information about the true nature of your relationship with her. So now Navy Intel thinks you've compromised yet another officer who knows more than she should, and they went over Hackett's head, to the Defence Minister. Hackett's having a hell of a time protecting Williams' security clearance."

If Ash lost her security clearance, she'd lose her candidature and any chance of commanding an Alliance spec ops team again - hell, it'd kill her career.

"I...I didn't know."

"Shepard…" he fixed her with his firm gaze. It made her feel like she was 25 and in the drunk tank again. "If you come back to the Alliance, they'll arrest you. Best case is they shove you in a black site for a few months until they're convinced you're not a security risk, worst case is they try and charge you. I don't know how much Hackett and I will be able to protect you."

"I understand, sir," she said numbly.

His expression softened. "It won't be forever. Just give it a couple of months for the political storm to settle. I'd never bet against Hackett."

She dropped her eyes to the desk. Her Star of Terra gleamed from the corner of her desk. "Is my mum going to be alright?"

"Hannah will be fine. One glare and any spook who bothers her will be running for the hills."

She wasn't sure she believed him - having an alleged terrorist for a daughter could mean her mum didn't get her stars at best. But what could she do about it?

"Intel won't know what hit 'em," she smiled weakly.

"Just keep your head up," Anderson told her."

"Adapt and overcome," she smiled wryly.

"Yeah."

Shepard lifted her chin, "I should go. I have wounded and a damaged ship to take care of."

"I can send you some money."

He couldn't send her enough to fix any of the problems facing her right now and it could get him in trouble with the AIA. "Just reimburse Coyle for the repairs he said he'll do for me."

Sending money to a Corsair could at least be easily explained away.

"Of course. Stay safe out there, Shepard."

The holo flickered and died and Shepard let herself slump forward, pressing her forehead to her fist.

"Fuck."


Jacob ducked beneath a loop of wiring sagging from the ceiling of the shuttle bay. The shuttle was back in its cradle, but missing the thruster that had been damaged when the Normandy had crashed. The fix, Tali said, was relatively simple. But, well. Their shuttle mechanic was dead and their engineers were too busy keeping the ship flying.

Jacob hurt all over - from the places where he'd been saved by his armour, a torn muscle when he'd landed wrong during the fight, from hours of damage control work. He was willing to bet the rest of the crew was in the same boat.

In the vids, this would be when they had a party. Where everyone celebrated their victory.

It didn't really feel like it had sunken in. They'd tossed themselves right into the teeth of the enemy, and somehow he was still breathing. Felt like he'd used up more than a few second chances from the universe now.

Victory always had its costs though.

He found Shepard where he'd thought he would. She was standing near the capsules containing Burt and Samara's bodies, one arm in a sling and the other hand shoved into her pocket.

"Ma'am."

"Taylor." She glanced at him with dark, cautious eyes.

"Paying respects?"

"Yeah...I guess. Not sure what to do for Samara. Maybe I should have asked, before," she grimaced.

"She saved our lives," Jacob said quietly. It was a little humbling, to think about. The immense biotic feats Samara had performed on the Collector Station. The long length of the Justiciar's life, cut short - for him and for the others. A millennia of experience and memories gone in a split second.

"Garrus told me."

"If you don't mind me asking…" he didn't want to poke at open wounds, but he wanted - needed to know, "what happened to Burt? He was alive when we sent him back to the ship."

It wasn't even that he'd particularly liked Burt, but he'd been his responsibility as the security officer.

"Collector shot him while he was helping defend the ship. Round caught him under his vest."

"Poor bastard."

"Yeah." A silence fell between them. Shepard's shoulders rose with a deep breath. "I'm guessing Miranda sent you to get me."

Jacob itched his jaw, wincing when his fingernail caught on a scab - courtesy of slamming his chin into the ground during their attempt to reach the crash site. "Yeah. She, Tali and Garrus are waiting in the QEC room."

"Let's not keep them waiting then."

The elevator at least was working. Shepard's expression didn't exactly invite casual conversation, so Jacob kept his mouth shut during the ride and subsequent walk through Mordin's lab.

Whatever problems there'd been between Miranda and the two aliens now in the comm room, the mission against the Collectors - and Miranda's decision - had papered over the cracks. Instead of staring dagger at Miranda, Tali was showing her a readout from the drive core.

"Shepard, Taylor," Vakarian nodded in greeting.

"Are you sure heading to a privateer's dock is the best idea?" Miranda was frowning. She looked stressed.

Shepard was silent for a moment, running a finger along the edge of the meeting table. "They're not privateers. They're Corsairs. Coyle and I served together in the N7s. He'll help us get the Normandy space worthy for the trip to Illium."

Miranda sighed. "Of course he is."

"I was giving the Alliance intel through him," Shepard continued, meeting Miranda's gaze steadily. It wasn't exactly a confession - more like a statement of fact.

Jacob wasn't sure if he felt embarrassed for not realising or perturbed with how easily Shepard had lied to him.

"Shepard," Miranda said, almost patiently, "you giving the Alliance intel on Cerberus is the least surprising thing I've ever heard. There's a reason that this cell was isolated from the others. You've never hidden your loyalties."

"We good?"

"Yes, Shepard, we're good. Now, if we can talk about the ship?"

"Like I said, Coyle will help us make sure the ship is functional. Illium is the best place to organise getting the crew home, and Samara and Burt sent home. But we've got one big problem, and that's money."

Miranda nodded. "What we do have is going to evaporate fast, between repairs, tickets for the crew and fuel."

"There's gotta be something we can do to make money," Jacob said, "like the bounty hunting and surveying we did."

"That might cover some of our operating costs in the short term, but I don't think it's going to be enough." Shepard's mouth tightened. "The Illusive Man is gonna be fucking pissed at us, the Council tolerates me so long as we stay in the Terminus and the Alliance wants to arrest a bunch fo us. We're running out of friends."

"There's T'Soni," Miranda said calmly, "we've got intel she wants."

Shepard's expression darkened. "Intel from the Illusive Man."

"Liara might be able to help anyway," Tali spoke up, tone brightening.

Jacob felt like he was missing something here. T'Soni had been on the SR1, right? She and Shepard had been friends. She'd helped them recover Shepard's body from the Blue Suns -

Right. She'd given Shepard to Cerberus.

"We both know this isn't really about the Illusive Man," Miranda said, close to gentle, "but you said it yourself. We're running out of options."

"Fine," Shepard's voice was flat and her face expressionless, "I'll call her."


Codex Entry

Transcript - Systems Alliance Defence Council Meeting December 2185:

Emmett Mercer (Minister for Defence): Frankly, it makes us look like absolute idiots to the Council if we pull our own candidate's security clearance.

Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett (Chief of Defence): Then don't.

EM: I'm disturbed that you concealed this whole affair from this council, Admiral.

SH: At the time, it wasn't relevant. As far as we all knew, Emilia Shepard was a dead war hero.

General Ingrid Eriksen (Commander, ASTRACOM): As opposed to a live terrorist?

SH: Lieutenant Williams was and is the best choice. I stand by my recommendation.

EM: She met with Shepard-

SH: And got vital intelligence out of that meeting.

EM: That still leaves the fact that you refused to allow BNI to arrest Shepard.

SH: Shepard is still herself a Spectre, a Spectre that's been supplying us intelligence on Cerberus operations. BNI does know how covert operations work, I hope?

IE: I hope you're right about her, Steven, and Williams too.

EM: I'm not rescinding the arrest order.

SH: Sir.

EM: But I'll...leave it to your discretion as to how far to pursue Shepard.

SH: Understood.