"Did your mother ever find out about your pranks?" Remus asked.
Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. "Why on earth would anyone tell their parents about the detentions they got or the pranks they pulled?"
"James did."
"Yes, well, the Potters were weird."
Sirius looked all flustered now and Remus was giving him a sympathetic look. I did not understand what was going on.
"I didn't tell her," I said.
"Because you are sane."
"She found out anyway..."
Tonks grumbled as she sat herself down at the Hufflepuff Table. She had overslept and none of her dorm mates had thought to wake her up. Fantastic. Just fantastic. She really enjoyed having to rush getting changed and running through the corridors just so she could eat breakfast. Not.
Well, at least she was here. And there was a while plate of bacon in front of her so her day was already looking up.
Speaking of looking up, the post owls were still swirling about overhead. Most of them from parents as the newspaper owls were usually the earliest ones to fly in. Not that Tonks read the newspaper, honestly. What did you take her for, a Ravenclaw? Nope, definitely not. But an owl did land in front of her. Her parents' owl. With two letters attached to him? Weird. Normally her parents just wrote her one, either together (with hilarious fighting for control of what was said in the letter) or one of them wrote the whole thing. Two separate ones were definitely odd. Shrugging, Tonks tugged the letters free, much to the displeasure of the owl if the nip was anything to go by. Glaring at it, Tonks pointedly did not provide him with any bacon. Not that it mattered when he just filched some from the dish in the middle of the table anyway before flying off. Which left her with the parcel and letters.
Her mum had drilled into her that you should always read the letter attached before even thinking about opening any parcels. So, she did just that. The letters didn't look like they were too long anyway. That, and she could practically hear mum tutting at her for even thinking of opening the parcel first.
Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks how could you even think about pulling such a stupid and disgusting stunt?
Tonks blinked at the opening words to her mum's letter. Not even a greeting. How had she known what happened? Professor Sprout didn't send a letter for each detention she earned, did she?
Your father was stupid enough to leave his letter lying about where I could read it. Dungbombs, Nymphadora? Really? Of all the pranks you could pull you chose dungbombs? The smell of them better not linger on your clothes or you will not be allowed back into the house
Tonks bit back a grin at that but gave her robes a quick sniff anyway. A couple of her housemates had taken to holding their noses as they walked past her because that was mature of them. Nonetheless, she was a little bit paranoid about how she smelled. Her skin had never been so clean in her life. Actually, she might not have any skin left. So, her mother's worry was valid.
Why your father thought providing you with dungbombs was a good idea, I will never know. It won't be happening again; I can assure you of that.
Aw, now that just wasn't any fun. Oh well, she'd just have to buy them herself instead. Not exactly a hardship. That, and she could get a few other... useful... items as well.
I do hope everything is going well at school and you were suitably punished for whatever stunt you pulled with aforementioned dungbombs.
Tonks pulled a face at that. She was sure mum would get a kick out of the cleaning task she had been set. It may have been well deserved but that didn't mean Tonks had to like it!
Love you very much and have enclosed a treat that I'm sure you'll appreciate.
Love, mum
Was that permission to open the parcel before reading her dad's letter? Because her interest was officially piqued.
Tonks gave the second letter a guilty look as she eyed up her options. The parcel was taunting her.
She shook her head. Nope. She couldn't do it. Letter it was. Then parcel.
Hi, Dora,
That prank sounds brilliant! Great use of the dungbombs, I hope you caught a lot of people!
That was one thing she wasn't too certain of, actually. Too busy taking cover and running away so she didn't get caught. Not that that helped her in the end.
I'm quite impressed you managed to get some on the ceiling - I didn't know that they had that range. They certainly didn't when I was in school. You would have had to throw them directly at the ceiling to manage that!
Ha! Her dad was so old. She'd have to rub that in his face when she got home.
We'll need to plan something new for you to do. Dungbombs are all well and good but you need variety.
That was true - though Tonks thought she'd quite like to figure out just how creative she could get with dungbombs. There really were a lot of possibilities.
We'll discuss over the Christmas holidays. Love you and I hope you're having fun!
Love, Dad
There was a final sentence crammed right at the bottom in cramped writing.
Just wanted to warn you that both of us are in trouble with your mother about all of this, she saw this letter!
Tonks couldn't help but snort at that. Maybe staying at Hogwarts over Christmas would keep her safe? She thought about that for a moment before shaking her head. Nope, mum would probably just drag her by her ear back home and she didn't really want to miss Christmas at home anyway.
Speaking of Christmas, Tonks had a parcel to open. One that was very obviously wrapped by her mother as it was all crisp lines and properly sealed down edges. Dad (and her for that matter) could never do that. His neatest attempt still had the paper all scrumpled. It was almost a shame to undo it...
Yeah right. Tonks snorted and tore through the paper with an extremely satisfying ripping noise. The ability to morph her nails into sharp points came in really useful.
It was a box. A box of chocolates to be exact. Huh? Not that she would ever turn her nose up at chocolates- especially when it was Honeydukes chocolate - but why was mum rewarding her when she obviously disapproved?
Then Tonks caught the name of the chocolates. 'Hippogriff and Dragon's droppings Chocolate Treats - no one will steal this on you'. She couldn't help it, she snorted again. Trust her mum to come up with something like this.
She opened the box and had to laugh. They really were like big droppings - each chocolate being a big swirl that was brought up into a point, like the types of poo you would have in comic books. They were fantastic!
Popping one into her mouth, Tonks groaned in delight. Delicious too.
"I was expecting a Howler," Remus said, looking slightly disappointed.
"Black's don't do Howlers," Sirius answered before I could. "They're uncouth and common."
Remus and I blinked at him.
"What?"
"Mum said the exact same thing when I asked her."
She really did. It was kind of eerie.
"You put that weird voice on again," Remus said to him.
Sirius looked affronted at that. "What voice? I don't do a voice."
"You do!" Remus turned to me, "Tonks, tell him he puts on a voice."
"No!" Sirius argued, pointing a Remus. "Tell him, I don't."
Which exactly was I meant to choose here? Family or the sensible one?
"You kind of went robotic," I answered diplomatically which, of course, pleased neither of them.
