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Erik
Chapter 77
The Umbrella
At times, I did wonder if I would become as famous as I was when I performed in Lyon.
I wondered if word would spread outside of Moscow, into the rest of Russia. If word of me would wander west, to the far reaches of Europe, and into France.
If that happened, then would French authorities rightly assume that I killed Javert? Was the law such that they could come and seize me - and put me back into a cage?
Of course, I could deny it. I could easily deny it. After all, that religious zealot in Lyon was adamant that he himself committed the murder. As far as I was aware, based on the bits of conversation I'd picked up on my way out of the country, he'd likely already been deemed guilty. I was also the only witness, so if I said that I escaped before that man could kill me, that I ran east to escape him, then they wouldn't have much evidence that I ended Javert - other than mere speculation. In fact, my running away might be even more proof that the zealot was dangerous.
He'd already told the police he'd killed me. He'd already proven himself capable of murderous hatred toward a child. Surely they'd believe my alibi.
I closed my eyes. All of this, of course, was a lie. A blatant lie. But I couldn't be imprisoned behind bars. Not again.
Hopefully, rumor did not spread so far. Hopefully, if it did, people would see it as a coincidence; that there just happened to be two people with the face of death, roughly the same age, walking the Earth. Hopefully the fact that that man pleaded guilty meant that the case was simply closed forever.
A soft meow took me from my thoughts.
I looked to my side to find Ayesha sitting there, on the floor next to me. I'd been staring down at my hands for the last ten minutes, I realized. I'd started by practicing music in my head, and ended up on this path of anxiety.
I sighed, leaning back against the foot of the bed, and gazed down at Ayesha; I was grateful for her interruption. I reached out a hand to pet her head. She'd grown so much these last couple of months. "I should occupy my mind with something else, shouldn't I, darling?"
She chirped shortly and went to my lap, finding a warm spot there.
"Agreed," I said, and brought my hand up to the bed. I pulled down the mechanical engineering textbook from the mattress, opening it up to where the paper was hiding - the one I'd been scribbling on the past few days with ideas. I'd started to imagine a little automaton with a violin, and the only way to make it play was to clap. A little machine meant for entertainment. Not so unlike myself.
After working on it for a while, losing myself in that puzzle, I closed the paper again into the book and set it aside on the floor. I fed Ayesha a bit of meat, gave her water, and finally changed into my sleep-clothes. I turned off the lights and climbed into bed. As she'd taken to doing lately, she curled up right above my head and slept with me.
But when the night drew on, lightning and thunder began.
The image of Sasha was blasted to the forefront of my mind again.
I sat up gasping. Immediately panicked. Shivering. Teeth chattering. I hugged myself, arms wrapping around my chest, hands gripping my own shoulders.
Ayesha moved from the pillow she'd been laying on and went to my side. She mewed and brought one of her paws up to tap, gently, against my elbow. Slowly, with great hesitation, I gave her what she wanted.
Even if I was terrified out of my mind, full of grief and rage as well, I would not deny her affection.
I petted her head, still shaking.
She purred, and the effect was immediate.
That small, comforting sound brought me back. I lowered myself down onto my back and tried to breathe evenly. When I did, she went to my chest and made herself comfortable there, still purring.
And I was reminded immediately of Cerberus, how he'd done the same. Pressed his weight onto me to stop me from breaking apart.
I closed my eyes and felt tears fall from my eyes, my own mind as much a rainstorm as the atmosphere outside. My thoughts were lightning and my emotions were thunder.
Ayesha moved atop me, bringing her face very near to my cheek. I felt her sandpaper tongue against my face, licking the tears away, purring all the while.
It only made me cry harder.
One day, perhaps soon or years from now, she'd be taken away. Just like all the rest. I wasn't sure I could take it. What a mistake this had been - what a terrible, impulsive...
But as I brought my fingers to the fur on her back, felt the love pour out of her, I knew how much she'd improved my life. Brought some light to the endless darkness of solitude. And how I'd changed her life as well - given her a home where food, water, and shelter were consistent. I couldn't have had this be any other way.
"You're so sweet, Ayesha," I whispered. "You're such a little dear."
At that, she rubbed her head against my partially parted lips, treating me to a bit of fur in my mouth. I laughed. And my tears at last stopped.
The moment my sorrow had dissipated, she stopped licking or rubbing my face and began cleaning her own paws instead. 'There', she practically said, 'my work here is done. You're welcome.'
I kept a hand on her back, feeling her move while she cleaned. She settled at last, stilling beneath my hand, purring herself to sleep. The sound allowed me to drift as well.
