GV: Hmm. Looks you're actually in transmission range right now?
[CS: And you're actually answering comm requests? - unsent]
CS: Yeah, believe it or not. We're pretty far out, but I guess there was a research base in the system at some point and they never dismantled their comm system.
GV: How's the new mako?
CS: That's really the first thing you ask? Not "Find any reapers, Shepard?" or "How's the crew, Shepard?".
[CS: "When are you next docking at the Citadel, Shepard?" - unsent]
GV: Now I'm worried. I really feel like you should answer the question. What did you do to the mako?
CS: Bad news. Lost her. Managed to crash her down a mountain.
[CS: HAH! - unsent]
GV: That's not funny, Shepard.
CS: It is to me. Mako 2.0 is fine. Dubyansky can't make heads or tails of the overclocking you did to its weapons targeting system as that farewell present before we pushed off, but we've agreed to just "leave it alone and pray nothing breaks."
CS: Next time we're at the Citadel, I'll have you run a check-up on it.
GV: Ah, just make sure you give me some notice. We're being run ragged here. Just got off a double-shift: Chellick and I gunned down a group of slavers and Pallin finally decided he could send us home.
CS: Gunned down?
[CS: Please tell me you're messing with me, Vakarian. - unsent]
GV: Chellick had a contact we used to track them down to their base of operations. A warehouse that had been erroneously marked as "destroyed" on the damaged infrastructure assessment. So we've got a mole somewhere in Citadel Ops, but we'll deal with them later. Anyhow, Chellick and I managed to scrounge up some blueprints and set up two sniper nests on the mezzanine. They never even saw us coming: cut them all in the crossfire. Your kind of operation.
[CS: Damn it. - unsent]
[CS: I thought you understood. You told me you understood. - unsent]
CS: No. It isn't.
GV: I'm not sure I follow?
CS: Garrus, you're supposed to be a cop. You're not supposed to gun down criminals. You're supposed to arrest them.
GV: Cells are already full enough. These were not good people, Shepard.
GV: Giving them a chance to surrender would have required a much larger operation. And C-Sec is stretched thin right now. Pallin would never give us approval—or he'd sit on it for weeks. And by then they could have moved their base.
CS: I never liked Chellick. He clearly had no problem putting civilians in harm's way to close his case. I'm not surprised he hasn't changed. But, come on Garrus, you're better than this.
GV: I'm really not.
GV: Those men needed to die, Shepard. You gunned down plenty of slavers and pirates and mercs when we were on the Normandy.
CS: Look, I'm not saying that our work isn't violent. It is. But I never shot first if we were dealing with people. Husks, geth…sure. But every single band of mercenaries and pirates could have surrendered, and I would have figured out a way to arrest them and get them to some sort of authority. There were a few moments when we were able to avoid bloodshed…Helena Blake…Major Kyle…hell, even that Batarian terrorist – though, I have to admit, the fact that he's still running around loose keeps me awake at night.
CS: Yes, there were plenty enough times when guns had to be drawn. Hell, I even provoked that krogan into confronting me at the docks at Noveria…which wasn't totally my intention, I'll admit. But, hey, if the dude is going to ambush me over a mod…
GV: Yeah, okay. I remember.
GV: So what are you saying then?
[CS: I'm not trying to hurt you. And I can't even begin to explain or understand how much I wish you were still on my ship. I keep trying to give you orders on groundside missions, only to realize you're not here. - unsent]
CS: I'm saying you can't forget that those corpses you left behind were once people. I'm sure, if my life circumstances were different, I could have ended up there. These people all had limited choices. Sure, they still chose. I'm not saying you shouldn't arrest. I'm saying that there isn't any victory in killing people like that. It's only a tragedy.
GV: I'm not going to lose sleep over a group of dead slavers. I've pulled dead or dying kids out of crates, Shepard. Because people like the ones we put down today put them there to make a few credits.
GV: Death isn't good enough for people like that.
[CS: Death is good enough for all of us, in the end. Has to be. Just the way it is. If Akuze taught me nothing else, it taught me this. - unsent]
CS: Okay, but those dead gang members were probably kids stuffed in crates, too, once. All they know is violence. It's all they know how to do. You and I…we have the privilege to have other things in our lives. We could walk away from what we do at any time. They can't. Couldn't. They're trapped in a cycle: damaged kids grow up to damage kids.
CS: This isn't you.
CS: You need to stay as one of the good cops. You're not military right now. It's not your job to shoot people.
CS: Or it shouldn't be.
GV: You once told me I had good instincts.
[CS: I wanted to ask you to stay. Did you know that? I didn't. Seemed selfish. The Citadel needs competent officers. I have no doubt the reapers will be targeting it. I need you to be a good cop. Not…whatever the hell it is you're doing. - unsent]
CS: Yes. You do.
CS: But you once told me that sometimes other things get in the way. I know things can't be great at the Citadel right now. But mindless, senseless killing isn't the answer. Do things right.
[CS: Remember? - unsent]
[CS: Or maybe that was just you telling your commanding officer what she wanted to hear. - unsent]
GV: What happens when the Reapers come?
[CS: Wow. Going for where it hurts, eh? Come on, Vakarian. That's not like you. - unsent]
CS: What do you mean?
GV: When there are hard choices to make, what do you do then? You can't save them all, Shepard.
[CS: Oh, really? Watch me, Vakarian. - unsent]
CS: I know that.
[CS: I'm not naïve. I remember Virmire. - unsent]
[CS: Alright. Fine. Maybe this isn't fair to you. - unsent]
[CS: Just because I hate how limited my choices are right now, doesn't give me the right to criticize yours. - unsent]
[CS: But, seriously Vakarian, you're driving me insane. - unsent]
CS: I'm sorry for chewing your head off. I'm probably projecting.
GV: …Okay?
CS: I'm feeling more and more like the Council just wants me to…bludgeon...the galaxy into the shape they want it to be. They've allowed me to go Reaper-hunting, but the only support is a skeleton crew on loan from the Alliance. I'm losing half my people once I get to Arcturus – they've been "reassigned," apparently. The Council keeps sending me to put down these pockets of geth and keep pressing the issue of the "big picture" – but they repeat the same line about "needing more evidence."
GV: A reaper attacked the Citadel and brainwashed their top agent…and they want more evidence?
[CS: Idiots. - unsent]
CS: Yeah. Exactly.
CS: One of the hardest things moving out of the military command structure has been not letting myself off the hook for everyone that dies. When I had a superior officer, I trusted them to make the call over who needed killing. Now that I'm making the calls, now that there is virtually no one to oversee me—the Council doesn't count, they couldn't recall Saren who was bone fide rogue so they can't do anything to control me—the only person who is responsible for those deaths is me.
CS: It's making me re-think a few things. A few assumptions I had before.
CS: So, to answer your question, I know I can't save anyone. But I will save anyone who will let me.
[CS: Including you, you stubborn idiot. - unsent]
[CS: If you'll let me. - unsent]
[CS: Trust me, next time we dock at the Citadel, I am dragging you off duty and we are having a serious conversation, you and I. - unsent]
GV: Not all of us are you, Shepard.
CS: Not good enough an excuse, Vakarian. Try again.
[CS: I'll wait all day if I have to… - unsent]
[CS: Or not. - unsent]
CS: Damn it, sorry, have to go. Unknown object just appeared on
GV: Shepard?
Chat ended.
Connection lost.
Reconnecting…
Attempt 1 of 3…
Reconnection failed…
Attempt 2 of 3…
Reconnection failed…
Attempt 3 of 3….
Reconnection failed…
A/N
And that's it, folks. The last chapter!
This brings us to the end of the SR-1. Which is, actually, a pretty terrible ending. You can see why Bioware didn't do it this way, right?
So I'll be posting a (short) interstitial story about Garrus's post-Normandy time at C-Sec some time soon - not sure when, exactly. But I will post it all at once (rather than a chapter at a time). Please keep an eye out for it if you want to read more.
Thanks for reading! :-)
