AN: CATU spoilers ahead. It's been a month now so I'm sure everyone who cares has seen it.

Welcome to "A Shrug Can Mean A Thousand Words, Which Is Useful When Words Don't Come Easily To You", my post-CATU feels fic, barely edited and with a really embarrassing in hindsight continuity mistake (it was actually Vanessa who figured it out).

At this point I don't have the energy to do the intensive edits to fix it, not when I have so many other wips screaming for my attention. *cough* and even if I did I'm not gonna update this version bc ffn doesn't make edits easy *cough*


No matter how often you've experienced it, the adrenaline crash is hell. You're normally back with your family when it hits, riding the high of a successful mission, but not today. This is more a lull in the fight. No one's trying to kill or maim or otherwise harm you, your nemesis is safe, and you have to trust that your family will be fine. Of course they will be, they can handle themselves.

You, on the other paw, are shaking. And bored. And exhausted. All you can do is sit here, watching your equally-bored nemesis replace a stick with a chicken.

Behind you, your nemesis's daughter strokes her new alien pet, murmuring quietly to herself. It's just like when your owners run their hands through your fur, and you feel a pang of homesickness. What you wouldn't give to be back with them-

But not if it means leaving your nemesis behind. Your nemesis, with his gangly limbs and punchable face and his meticulously crafted yet poorly planned schemes.

If you asked, he'd probably give you scritches, sating the itch you get watching Vanessa. That's a line you're not yet willing to cross. You're his nemesis, there are standards you're supposed to uphold, a certain level of professionalism he's come to expect. Rules to follow. If he knew you were a pet-

Security risk doesn't cover it.

You can only enjoy the level of openness you have with him because he treats you as his equal. With him, you can show the side of yourself your family can never know, at the cost of hiding the side your family knows. Two sides of your life, two sets of rules. Forever separate.

Hurting them isn't the concern, you know your nemesis well enough to know he never would. You know from experience that he never would. No, what you're worried about is his monologuing. One wrong move and he could destroy your cover and your life. Worse, any interaction with you could free the hidden memories they carry around from what is both the best and the worst day of your life.

Even then, part of you wishes they could meet. Three amazing inventors, all in one place, how could you not be awed by the very thought?

Maybe one day they can. When your family are older, when they don't need you as you are, when you can tell them everything. Until that day, you'll keep your two lives separate. That's the sacrifice you've chosen to make.

He replaces the stick again, for want of anything better to do. "So. What do you think's happening back on Earth?"

All you can do is shrug. You didn't survive as long as you have by worrying about things outside your control, and Earth is so far out of reach that all you can do is trust in your owners. Ferb, Phineas, Candace. Whatever happens, you have complete faith in the three of them.

"Yeah, me either." He fires his inator again, swapping the chicken back. "I never thought being stranded on an alien planet would be so boring."

While you agree, you've also learned not to expect anything. Your life is weird and nothing is too out of the ordinary. The only thing you expect, these days, is the way your nemesis says your name, and the unconditional love of two of your owners.

You glance at Vanessa, who's slid down from the alien's back and is now scratching under its chin. At least she seems to be doing well for herself.

Letting out a sigh, he lets his hand fall, inator dangling from his fingers. "If I had to be stranded on an alien planet, I'm glad it's with you. I mean, you saved me, for one thing - and I appreciate that, I really do - and you're always so good at escaping traps, so... How are you going to get us out of this one? Do you have some fancy secret agent gadget for this? Is that how you got here?"

How can you tell him the truth? That you followed your owners, sneaking aboard his so-called Galactic Travel-inator, on a mission to save Candace? That you were what kept everyone safe in the asteroid field, throwing yourself into danger to protect the people you care about, him included?

Even if it wasn't against your orders to tell him, where would you even start?

"You're not going to tell me? Fine, keep your secrets, I don't care." He folds his arms with a huff, glancing at you every few seconds in case you change your mind, which you won't, then gives up. "So, how are you getting us out of this mess?"

You roll your eyes and stand, gesturing at his Chicken Replace-inator, and he hands it over. Knowing him, he's added some sort of unnecessary setting that can help you.

Like a furthest-away chicken setting.

Passing the inator back, you hold still when his fingertips brush over your still-shaking paw. The more it happens, the easier it feels to just reach out and grab his hand, certain he'll respond in kind.

He blinks at the inator, thoughts visibly turning over in his head, and grins. "That's perfect, Perry the Platypus, you're a genius! And so am I, for building it. Your skills and my inators... I think we make a great team, do you think we make a great team? Of course you do, because we are-"

"Get a room," Vanessa calls, not even turning around, and your nemesis splutters. "One that I'm not in. You're my dads, I don't want to see you two kiss."

Dads? That she's his daughter has never been in question, but where did she get the idea that you were-

You look down at your paw, tucked comfortably into Heinz's hand while you weren't looking, and exhale softly. Of course. You're not even surprised any more, by this or by-

Wait, did she say kiss? Like in your stories, but this is different, this is nemesisship, he's...

He's Heinz. Not just your nemesis, but a man you're glad to spend the time with, who you trust just as much as your family. Who's looking at you with wide blue eyes. His fingers are shaking just as much as yours, and you don't think it's just the adrenaline crash any more.

"Perry the Platypus?" he breathes, and you nod. If he wants this too, whatever it may turn into, he just has to say the word. "I..."

Then your mouths meet, and it's more than you could ever have imagined.

"Hello, getting back to Earth?" Vanessa calls, her back firmly to you, and you pull back, light-headed, clutching at Heinz's fingers to stay upright. Adrenaline, or- "You have a plan now, right?"

Right, yes, plan. Heinz's inator. You push him forward, the inator still clutched in his hand. Time for him to do what he does best: make things happen.


AN: Continuity mistake aside, I am proud of this at least. Reviews welcome!