Chapter 47 – Pandora's Box
OC P.O.V
Rachet shook his helm slowly, ''I am sure I do not understand what you mean OC, but I'll take your word for it.'' A smile spread across his dermas and he folded his arms across his chest as he levelled his gaze at me, ''Now, you were saying something about how you missed Prime…''
I looked away again. ''That's right, as I was saying, since Chase's death, Prime has been the one constant in my life Rachet. Thinking back now, I guess he kind of always has been, for the last two years at least.'' I somehow found the courage to look Rachet in the faceplates. ''I don't know what I would do without him. I truly don't.''
Rachet had a small smile playing at the corners of his dermas. ''Have you told Optimus himself these things? Is he aware of how you see him?'' There was an interesting tone in Rachet's voice, one I could not quite place.
I furrowed my optical ridge as I recalled our conversations of late. ''Um, yes. I have actually. Just before I left, before - all of this,'' I gestured to myself, ''I had a mild panic attack as I was worried, I might lose him like I lost Chase. Stupid really, I mean he is Optimus Prime! I told him I couldn't lose him, that I needed him, and he meant so much to me. I've also told him he deserves to be loved and held in someone's heart, not put on a pedestal like so many people and Autobots do.'' Rachet's smile spread and he let out a small chuckle. ''What?'' I folded my arms across my chest reflexively.
He just fixed me with that same ''grin'' and said, ''I think maybe you and Prime should have a talk when he gets back. I think there are… things you both need to clear up and discuss.''
I tilted my helm to the side and allowed what I am sure was a weird expression to grace my faceplates, my arms remained crossed. ''What on Earth, OR Cybertron, are you getting at Rachet? What ''things'' do you mean and what needs to be ''cleared up?''
Rachet allowed the smile to slowly fade from his dermas and fixed me with a kind and sympathetic look and shook his helm slowly, ''Amazing! You don't realise it either, do you?'' His voice trailed off, ''Both as stubborn as the other, both as blind as the other as to what is right in front of them.'' It was as though Rachet was thinking out loud to himself.
I unfolded my arms from my chest and started to push myself to my pedes. Rachet made to stop me but I was through with the medical advice for now. I swung my pedes off the berth and placed them on the ground. Rising carefully to my pedes, I felt slightly shaky at first but almost straight away I was able to stand. I realised, with great surprise, that I stood about four feet taller than Rachet, though I did not dwell on the fact too long as I had an important issue to clear up. Placing my servos on my hips and glaring down at the Autobot medic and my friend I challenged him, ''Exactly what do you mean by that comment Rachet, and answer carefully,'' I don't know why I had suddenly become so defensive and why my spark had started beating faster. /What was I getting flustered over?/.
Rachet gave his helm a little shake and ex-vented like a snort, ''OC, your feelings for Prime, they run very deep, don't they?''
I snorted now, ''Of course they do! I care very deeply for him, I…'' I didn't get to finish my sentence as Rachet interjected with an observation that rocked me to my core.
''You love him.'' He fixed me with a hard, interrogative stare.
My optics widened in shock, my dermas opened and closed involuntarily, and I took a step back, falling against the berth I had just stood up from. I finally found my words, ''Rachet, that is just… so… ridiculous! Why would you say that?'' I looked at him slightly hurt and a little annoyed that he would open such a Pandora's box of emotions, especially now when I had just gone through this traumatic upheaval and Prime was nowhere to be found.
''OC, I say it because, it is true. You may not have come to realise it as fact yet, but I am sure if you truly reflect on your feelings for Prime, what he means to you, how you have grown closer these past few years, and if you are truly honest with yourself, you will also know it to be true,'' his optics beseeched me to listen to what he said.
I sat there dumbfounded for a brief moment before I countered what he had to say. ''Rachet, I don't know if you have noticed but we are two different species..''
Rachet cut me off immediately, ''WERE! OC, by some bizarre twist of fate, you are now a Transformer! For better or worse, you are no longer a human. You ARE the same species; your physical differences are no longer an issue or relevant as a supposed stumbling block between you. Even if you were human, love transcends the mere physical OC, you know that.'' He had a gleam in his optics. /This bastard is enjoying this!/.
''Yeah.. well… Rachet he still loves Elita, always will. I have no right to take her place in his spark. It belongs to her. And.. I loved Chase.. you expect me to just forget him and move onto Optimus five minutes after he died!'' I felt anger coursing through me now. /Who are you mad at OC? Yourself for being so blind or at Rachet for opening Pandora's box?/.
Rachet went to speak, ''OC I…''
I silenced him by yelling, ''And if THOSE points weren't enough to prove why your comment is out of line, then how about the fact he is THE PRIME! OPTIMUS PRIME! A living legend, a noble, heroic, amazing, incredible leader and I am just ME! Who am I to be so worthy of someone such as HE?! He would NEVER see me in such a light. I am his friend, a very dear friend, but nothing more. That is the end of it Rachet."' I felt myself shaking with anger, fear and frustration. I felt my body tingle as a wave of heat travelled through me.
Rachet went to speak, but he stopped abruptly, his optics, focusing on my servos. They were on fire. ''OC! What in the?''
I looked down at my servos. Strangely enough I was not scared. I had seen this before at Sam's place just after I had touched the shard. ''What? This?'' I raised my servos, palm up. The fire burned harmlessly in my palms, seeming to grow as I felt myself become agitated and upset.
''YES THAT! What on Earth! How…'' Rachet could not speak as a look of incredulous fear settled on his features.
I gave a snort, ''Yeah, seems I have somehow developed another ''skill''. Since I touched the shard, I have been able to do this.'' I manipulated the fire in my servos, encouraging them to dance and then jump from servo to servo and then, in an effort to vent some of my emotion, I aimed a shot at some random item on the bench and shot a ball of fire at it.
Rachet yelled out and ran over to it, putting the flames out before turning around and eyeing me warily. ''OC. Can you control it? Can you ''stop'' it now?''
''I guess so.'' I took a deep ''breath'' and tried to calm my emotions. The fire was gone. I levelled my gaze at Rachet and his open dermas.
''OC! That was…'' he could not seem to find the right words.
''What? Freaky, dangerous? There you go Rachet. Another reason why Prime and I could never work. Look at me! I'm a FREAK!'' I turned my helm away from him. /GOD I wish I could cry!/.
Rachet slowly approached me, ''OC, I was actually going to say ''amazing'', that was amazing. YOU are amazing. In so many ways. Dangerous, yes, you clearly have the potential to be, but I know you will use what gifts you have for good. A ''freak'' as you say? Never! As Prime said to you that day we became aware of your psychokinesis, your gifts are what make you, you! Don't ever hide that from us, your family, we accept you for who you are. As Prime said, ''Don't try to fit in when you are born to stand out!'' He placed a servo on my shoulder.
I looked back at him, overwhelmed by so many emotions swirling about inside me. ''Rachet, I want to cry but I can't! Crying is so cathartic; I feel like I need to release my feelings. What do you guys do?'' I stared at him imploringly.
Rachet gave a small smile, ''We beat up Decepticons OC, throw a wrench or two, yell or obliterate practice ranges,'' and he gave me a little wink.
I stared at him for a moment before I laughed out loud at both the comments and the image of Rachet winking conspiratorially. ''Right! Great. Let's go do one or all of those things please.'' I ex-vented. ''Rachet. I'm sorry about my reactions earlier. It's just a lot to process and..''
Rachet held out a servo, ''I should apologise OC. I should perhaps have kept my dermas closed on the matter, but I will say this before I say nothing more. You are right. Prime did love Elita very much, just as you loved Chase. But OC, sadly neither of them are coming back and I know both Chase and Elita would want you and Prime, respectively, to be happy. I have seen how happy you both are in each other's company, how you both come to life around each other. While I know Elita and Chase will forever hold a special place in your sparks, do not think there is not enough room in there to allow another to find its way in. Maybe now is not the right time, but one day, who knows. Do not be so quick to think Prime's spark is a forgone conclusion.''
I felt a small wave of ''hope'' wash over me, though I quickly shook my helm to banish the pointless notion.
Rachet gave me a knowing smile. ''As for your other comment about Optimus being THE PRIME and as such he is somehow out of reach and unattainable. I call bullshit!'' I felt myself physically recoil from his verbal slap and the shock of hearing the medic use a crass human term. ''You yourself said to him, he deserves to be loved and held in a spark not placed up on a pedestal! Is that not a huge contradiction to cite his status as ''PRIME'' as an argument against having feelings for him?''
Once again, I tried to make my dermas work, to form some sort of rebuttal but I could not. He had a point. /Damn it!/.
Rachet looked at me with what could only be described as a sheer triumph as he hit home his last argument. ''Finally, as for your being unworthy. I also call bullshit! OC, you are more worthy than you know for so many reasons. Would Prime seek out your company over that of others so often, would he spend hours with you sitting on your beach talking to you if he did not think you worthy of his attention? Would he have stayed by your side for hours on end while your life hung in the balance, only leaving you for Megatron's resurrection if you were beneath him?'' He shook his helm at me. ''No OC. You are very much worthy. I just wish you would believe that.'' And with that he fell silent.
I sat there a moment. Processing everything, he had just said to me. ''I… suppose you are right Rachet. I'll try to keep that in mind.'' I gave him a small smile. ''What a day hey? Change from being a human into a Transformer and then have a huge revelation shoved in your faceplates!''
''Don't forget the pyrokinesis!'' Rachet smiled.
''Oh yeah, right, that too!'' I laughed. ''Rachet, I think it best I recharge for a bit, I feel, drained to be honest. I desperately want to see Prime, for so many reasons, but I think it best I get some rest. Could you please wake me if you hear from him?''
''Of course, OC. I think it is a wise course of action. I shall stay nearby to keep watch over you and to inform you if Prime makes contact, which I am sure he will do soon anyway. In fact, I might contact him myself in the next few joors if I don't hear from him.'' Rachet smiled kindly at me.
''Thanks, Rachet. For everything. Saving my life, helping me, talking to me. I really appreciate it and it means a lot.'' I returned his smile before I lay down on the berth.
Rachet briefly patted my shoulder, ''You are welcome OC. Glad I could be of assistance. Now, get some rest, you'll need your strength,'' and he walked off to the other side of the med bay.
I closed my optics and allowed myself to drift quietly into recharge. As I did, a cold feeling nestled in the pit of my spark. I didn't want to focus on the feeling too much as I had enough on my processor, so I pushed the feeling deep down. /Probably nothing anyway/, I thought as once again darkness took me.
