Here's another chapter guys. Enjoy!
Thanks for the review Isaiah Flamez. You should like this chapter. Tell me what you think.
Chapter 47: What love really means
Emily's POV
I lock myself in the bathroom, completely mortified that Hanna had just witnessed Spencer and I having sex. I open the water and slide my hands under it. I put soap on them and wash them for a while, trying to get rid of the shame. I know that having sex is nothing to be ashamed of, it just feels so wrong that Hanna got to see that side of me, of us. Once I feel as clean as I can hope for, I dry my hands, shut off the water and walk out of the bathroom. Hanna is sitting on the couch, playing on her phone and Spencer is nowhere to be found. I stop in my tracks and wonder if I should go talk to Hanna or not. After a short hesitation, I sit down on the couch next to Hanna.
"I'm so sorry, Hanna…"
"What for?" She asks me as she looks up from her phone.
"For… For what you witnessed." I stutter.
"Em, c'mon. Don't feel bad about that." Hanna tells me with a smile. "I mean, I'd be happier not having seen that, but who cares. Spencer and you love each other and I was in your girl's bed so I shouldn't be surprised to have walked in on that."
"Thanks, Hanna." I say feeling relieved.
"I didn't think you were a top though." Hanna teases going back to her phone.
My eyes widen, I can't believe she just said that. I'm not sure that she always thinks before she talks. I just shake my head and chose not to reply to that.
"Where's Spencer?" I ask her, changing the subject.
"She mumbled something about getting cleaned up."
"Alright. Did you have any plans for today?"
"Well, I was wondering if Spencer and you would be up to going back home? I want to be in my room, but I don't want to be home alone." Hanna confesses.
"I don't see why not. We'll ask Spencer. I think I'll go check up on Aria though."
"I'd really like that. I wish I could go, but I know I need to give her space." Hanna says as she looks down.
"It'll all be okay, Han. You'll see."
Spencer walks down the stairs and smiles shyly at me.
"How would you feel about going to Hanna's house for the rest of the day?" I question her, choosing to avoid the discomfort we both feel.
"Yeah, sure. Let's go." Spencer replies.
We all get ready and Spencer drives us to our house. Hanna goes up to her room immediately and I'm certain she crawls into bed, probably to cry. I drag Spencer to the kitchen and pour two glasses of juice for us. I stand against the counter and Spencer walks closer to me, hugging me and trapping me between her body and the counter.
"I'm so sorry for this morning, baby. I should never have forced you to have sex in the living room." I admit shyly as I wrap my arms around her waist and hide my face in her neck.
"Wait up, babe. You didn't force me to do anything. I really wanted you too. And you have nothing to be sorry for." She says as she hugs me closer to her. "And to be honest, it probably won't be the only time Hanna walks in on us…"
"Yeah, you're probably right." I laugh out loud.
We stand there hugging each other for a while. I sigh and push her away sweetly. I drink my glass of juice and put it in the sink.
"I want to go see Aria…" I drag on.
"Yeah?"
"I don't know, something tells me that it's a good idea."
"Then you should. I'll take care of Hanna while you're gone." Spencer suggests.
"Thank you, honey. You are amazing."
"So are you, babe." Spencer tells me as she pours another glass for Hanna I presume. "Good luck and keep me posted."
She pecks me on the cheek and goes upstairs to see Hanna. I breath in slowly. I know that Aria needs me, but I am also so nervous about what I'm going to walk in. I know that Aria is really not doing well and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm not sure if I'll be able to help her. I sure hope I will, but a part of me is so scared I won't. I take my keys and purse and leave the house.
I drive to Aria's house and park my car on the side of the road. I walk slowly to the front door and knock on it. I wait a while and then Mike opens it to me.
"What's up?" He asks as he takes a earbud out of his ear.
"Hey, is Aria home?"
"Yeah, she locked herself in her room. Go on up." He says as he walks away from the door and goes back to the living room.
I walk in and close the door behind me. I take off my shoes and exhale deeply before walking up the stairs. Aria's door is closed. I knock softly before opening the door slightly. I can see a big lump in the bed and I assume that Aria is resting under the covers. I open the door the rest of the way and step in, closing it behind me.
"Aria…" I say softly.
"Emily?" I hear Aria's shaky voice coming from under the covers.
She sits up and lets go of the covers to look at me. When our eyes meet she breaks down and starts to cry loudly. I run to the bed and engulf her in my arms.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I tell her as I lie down on the bed and she wraps herself against my side.
I hug her tighter and pat her back sweetly. She's sobbing so loud and her body is shaking. It breaks my heart. I lay my head on the top of hers and take a look around her room at the same time. We are always at Spencer's house now that we started dating and I just realised that ever since Aria was out of the hospital, I had not set foot in her room. Her room seems darker. It's almost as if a ray of sunshine had not pierce through her window in months. There are clothes everywhere and her schoolbooks are all over the place. It hits me just how bad Aria is actually doing. I'm mad at myself for not having seen it. I knew she was sad with everything that happened with Hanna, but I never thought it was that bad. She was still acting happy with Spencer and me. And I probably didn't pay enough attention with the love that rushed in my life with the start of my relationship with my brunette.
"It's going to be okay, sweetie." I whisper as I hug her closer to my body.
"I don't know how it ever could…" She says while still sobbing a lot.
"I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but I swear that it's not. Hanna is still here honey, and she is still the same person that is head over heel for you. She made some really bad choices, I can't argue on that, but it was all to protect you, to protect us. Give yourself some time, I promise you that she can still be trusted. And we will all bring -A down together this time. Hanna was stupid, but it all taught us that we need to work together. There's not a chance in the world that one of us will pull what she pulled. We can trust each other now."
"How can you say that? How can you trust her?" Aria says as she stops crying and sits up a little.
"I know it's hard, sweetie. When Hanna told us what she did I was so mad and I didn't think I could trust her ever again. A part of me is still unsure, but having spend time with her, I can see that she never left us. She might have worked for the -A team, but her heart was always with us. She never quit on us." I say as I sit up too to look in her eyes.
"You promise?" Aria asks in a small voice, almost childlike.
"I swear. I never want to see you get hurt again so if I believed that Hanna could hurt you again I would never tell you those things. I love you too much for that, Ar."
Aria only nods and tries to dry her face.
"That doesn't mean you have to jump back in her arms like nothing happened. You need to listen to yourself and go at your own rhythm. Let her prove to you that she loves you and deserves you." I say as I put my hand under her chin, forcing her to look up. "You don't you go take a shower. Take some time for yourself. I'll wait for you here and if you are ready we'll go to my house after."
She looks at me trying to figure out how she's feeling about everything I just said.
"Thank you, Em. It sounds good." She admits as she gets up and gathers some clothes. She leaves the room and close the bedroom door behind her.
I get up from the bed and start to walk around her room. I pick up all of her schoolbooks and put them neatly on her desk. Once that is done, I stack all of the clutters she has on her desk. Then I pick up all of the dirty clothes and place them in her laundry basket. Aria is still in the shower so I make her bed and open the window slightly to freshen up her room. There are still a lot of things on the floor so I gather them and put them on the chest she has at the foot of her bed. I look around and feel satisfied that Aria will feel better in her room now. It's not much, but it's my way of showing her that I'm there to help her pick up the mess in her life. As much physically as emotionally.
Once I'm done I sit back down on Aria's bed and wait for her to come back from the bathroom. It only takes a few minutes for her to get back. She stops in her tracks when she opens the door and finds her room clean.
"I… Emily… I don't know what to say, you didn't have to do that." She says as she looks down, embarrassed.
I get up from the bed and walk to her to grab her hand. She looks up at me and I can see a bunch of mixed feelings in them.
"I know you didn't ask. But I had not realised how bad you were doing and I'm so sorry for that. I want you to know that I'm here for you. Always. No matter what you need."
She takes me in her arms and I hug her tight.
"Are you ready to go to my house?" I ask her as we step away from each other.
"As ready as I'll ever be I guess…" She says with uncertainty.
"I'll be there with you." I reassure her as I take her hand and lead her to my car.
I drive us back to my house. Aria stays silent the whole way. I can feel how nervous she is. It radiates off her. I park my car on the side of the road in front of Hanna's house, but I don't get out. I know that Aria is not ready yet. I take my key out of the ignition, but I don't make any other moves do get out of the car. I can hear that Aria is trying to slow down her breathing, but I keep on looking forward, giving her space to sort herself out. After a while I see out of the corner of my eye that she grabs the door handle. She holds it for a few seconds before she actually opens her door. Aria doesn't open it all the way though.
"Why are you so stressed, honey?" I ask her when I realise that she is not about to get out of the car soon.
"I… It's just that I know that when I'll see Hanna, I'll just forgive her…" Aria says as she shuts the door.
"And you don't want that?"
"I do… But… I don't know. I'm scared."
"That's normal, Aria. She broke your heart. You don't want that to happen again. But you know, forgiving her doesn't mean that you forget, it means that you choose to let go of all the bad feelings that are drowning you right now."
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go in…"
I squeeze her hand and we leave the car. I walk in the house first and I'm actually uncertain if she will follow, but she does. We don't hear anything so we go up the stairs to my room. Spencer is sitting on Hanna's bed with her back resting against the headboard. Hanna's head is laying in her lap and Spencer is running her hand through blonde hair. I can see that Hanna is sobbing by the shaking of her shoulders. Spencer looks up from our friend when she sees me in the doorframe. I move to the side to let Aria walk in. She stops in her tracks once she sees Hanna. Spencer looks at me expectantly, probably wanting to know if Aria is about to kiss Hanna of rip her head off. I subtly nod at her.
"Hanna, Aria is here." She says sweetly as she stops playing with her hair.
Hanna sits up so fast she almost hit Spencer's chin with her head. She looks at Aria but she doesn't say anything. She slowly gets up from the bed and takes one uncertain step towards Aria. Aria hesitates, but she closes the distance between them and wraps the blonde in her arms. Spencer gets up from the bed and walks out of the room. Before I follow her, I take a last look at our friends and see that Aria has connected her lips with Hanna and I smile to myself. I'm so glad that they will at least try to figure things out. I follow Spencer and we walk downstairs to the living room.
This title is a song from JJ Heller.
