Well. Readers. So much has changed since I last wrote you. My life has taken so many twisats and turns and I've hardly had time to catch up - hopefully that will change soon, and I'll have more time to write for yall. I've had good. I've had bad. I've had dick. And I've learned the most important thing of all. But anyway, I hope you're all doing well! Caught up on your Christmas shopping? I almost have I just need to finish knitting my nephew's other than that I hope you're all simply having a wonderful holiday season. Although sometimes I don't know it's Christmastime at all.
CHAPTER 79: COUP DE'TAT IN THE CUL-DE-SAC
We all criede around Demongo's gravestone, he had just been freshly buried so he didn't spoil like lunch meat. We played Shattered Dreams by Johnny Hates Jazz for the funeral because our dreams of having Demongo by our side during the war were shattered. I cried, cried so hard, as hard as Demongo used to fuck me, over his headstone. Merdoc rubbed my shoulder to comfort you, he felt so bad seeing me like this.
Unfortunately rubbing any part of my body makes me horny so we left the funeral and went back to the monster truck, picture this we were both butt naked bangin' on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately there was piss all over the tile but when you're en flagrante delecto, very little stops you from completing your emission.
Mission objective complete: Get wet
Mission complete: Juice his weaner
Mission rewards: 2400 taros, custard buster, fertilized egg
"WHAIT, WHAT?!" I shrieked, I couldn't get pregnant again! But then I realized it wasn't a fertilized human egg, it was one of those eggs of Jeff's that could be thrown as a grenade. Which was infanticide, but apparently the guides allowed it. Sick bastards.
"You are absolutely ravishing, sweetheart," Murdoc growled, lighting up a post-ponking cigarette.
"Fuck, Murdoc, I can't control myself. You ravish me so well," I said, cuddling up to him.
Murdoc wrapped one arm around me and turned the TV on with the other. The news came on the president was scared. Foster's Home was being dissolved away by fusion matter! I screamed as we watched the house fall away as the earth crumbled, friends and family plunged into the fusion matter ocean and their flesh fell away, their skeletons flailed before their brains fizzed away. Murdoc tried to cover my eyes but it was no use man. All the friends were gone. Game over man... game over.
Except some of them survived and ran to the cu-de-sac. So that's where we went, we didn't even shower, we were both sweaty and stinky and I still had Murdoc's spoodge all over me under my clothes but we had no time to clean up. We didn't even have time to clean up the motel room, sorry maid service. We showed up in the cul-de-sac, there was blood everywhere, and body parts. Friends were so scared they were running into people and each other and everyone was breaking to pieces. Edwardo was the biggest offender, those sharp horns of his were really doing a number on people hm.
"EDUARDO!" I shouted. "YOU NEED TO STOP! YOU ARE MURDERING PEOPLE!"
"IWFJAWFNEWALFNESALSFJAWJWAFNASLCVNDSNESENVS" Eduardo screamed, impaling innocent bystanders he was too far gone to listen.
"This looks like a job for Eye Guy," said Ben from beside me, he slapped his omnitrix and turned into Eye Guy. Only Eduardo was too far away for him to do anything, so Ben unraveled Eye Guy's dick to trip Eduardo and make him finally stop.
"Ay caramba," I said, relievred the madness was finally over. Then Eduardo's tail lifted and he let out the most sour aewful fart I'd ever heard
"SWEET GOERGE WASHINGTON'S CLITORIS!" one man shouted before he fell to the ground, dead!
"Alright everyone, simmer down!" Dexter called out ofer the croud. Everyone immediately stopped because he was cute. Except about a dozen people they were too scared. "Thank you. Now, we need to take a head count to see who survived the Foster's crash."
Several male friends and some female ones started taking out their penises but Dexter shouted and waved his hands, "No, no! I mean please tell us your names!"
Everyone went "Ohhhhhh" and put their peckers away. We did a head count but found that only 5 of the 500 friends from the house were accounted for.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I cried, bellowed, and collapsed on my knees, clenchng my fists." So many friends were gone. Dead. Like my libido.
Etuarto was the only one left alive, so we took him into Ed's house (he was dead so it was okay, he wouldn't mind) He was unconscious, and starved. We fed him processed angel food cake through an IV drip but Dexter said he wasn't sure if he would make it to morning.
I ran out of the house screaming with tears.
