Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"At ease, Lieutenant." Doris laughed as Catherine ran her hand across the underside of the table, checking for listening devices. "I've already swept the place. We're good. It's just lunch."

Catherine smiled, "It's just a habit. Can't be too careful." She sat down across the table from Doris and admired the place settings, "You have good taste in restaurants." She said as she smoothed the cloth napkin over her lap.

Doris grinned, "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Steve takes after his father and thinks of plate lunches and take-out from Rainbow as fine dining."

"Something like that." She laughed. The server passed by their table and took their orders. Catherine took a sip of water, "So… Thanks for the lunch invitation…"

"I get that you don't like me, Catherine, but-"

"It's not that I don't like you, I just-"

"You don't trust me. You're protective of Steve and I respect that. And I caused him to doubt you because I asked you to keep the Mangosta incident to yourself."

Catherine trailed her finger around the rim of her glass, "I had never lied to him before." Just saying the words aloud made her feel ill.

Doris shrugged, "Well. I mean. It wasn't really a lie."

"The sin of omission is still a sin." Catherine stated before sighing, "I should have told him. We both should have told him."

She nodded. "I agree." Doris glanced at the reflection in her silverware as a group of patrons entered the restaurant followed by a man who looked rather shifty.

"No threat. Male, mid-forties, is holding flowers and checking his phone. He just looks nervous because he's waiting for his date to show." Catherine stated without hesitation.

A proud smile crossed Doris's face. "You've got some talent, kid. How'd you know I was looking at him?"

Catherine maintained her demure image, "Your spoon. When you unrolled your silverware you straightened the fork and knife but you left the spoon at a sixty degree angle. That, plus the light from the window would give you a pretty good vantage point of the door without having to turn around."

"Never order soup at a restaurant. Spoons are too useful to be wasted on something that doesn't taste good. And if you make it to dessert, you're probably safe."

"I'll keep that in mind." Catherine smiled and leaned back as the waiter presented their meals. "You know," She began as she cut into her chicken, "Steve, the, um, the first time he told me about you, he told me that you taught him sleight of hand and magic tricks that you learned from watching the James Bond movies."

Doris laughed, "Steve liked the Pierce Brosnan years better, but between you and me-"

"Sean Connery is better." Catherine finished for her, "He told me. He was, um, rather perturbed that I sided with you in that. Sean Connery was WAY better!"

"I knew I liked you." She laughed as she twirled her pasta with her fork, keeping a close eye on the door with her spoon.

Catherine cleared her throat, "How's, um. How's the new place? You like it?"

Doris shrugged, "It's different. Different from living in Japan. Different from Steve's house. It'll take some time but I'll adapt." She said confidently. "Has… has Mary called you lately?"

"Yeah, I talked to her a couple days ago." She offered a comforting smile, "She's thinking about coming back out here soon. I think she's come to terms with you being here and she's… staying out of trouble."

"You know, all those years I spent in hiding… I always played through the different scenarios, you know… How they would react when… if… I came home." Doris shook her head, "I always thought Steve would be the one to come around first. He's always been the level-headed one. Reads between the know, very intuitive. I always assumed he'd understand why I did what I did. I never expected him to be the one who's suspicious all the freaking time."

"To be fair, though, you've given him reason to be suspicious… recently." Catherine stated as kindly as she could.

"I know." Doris nodded. "And that's on me. I've- I've been living here on the island like I'm still in hiding… still undercover. I, uhm…. I just can't shake that survival instinct, you know? The last…." She huffed, "The last selfless thing I ever did was leave my family twenty years ago." Her voice cracked and she quickly took a sip of water to calm the emotion bubbling up inside her. "Ever since then… Every minute of every day has been about preservation. Looking out for me and no one else." Shame dripped from her words, but she needed to say them. To purge. To move on. To heal.

"That's not true." Catherine's warm disagreement was a wrecking ball to Doris's already fragile heart. "You saw him in Japan when we were on leave. You came out of hiding and took a huge risk just for the chance to see him from a distance. That's love. That's selflessness."

Doris flipped the spoon over and looked up at Catherine, "I don't know how to make this right. With him. With Mary. I want to be there for them. To be their mom… I just… I feel like I lost that part of myself and I don't know if I'll ever get it back."

"You're home." Catherine gave her a reassuring smile. "That's a start."

Her voice lowered to an intimate volume, "You know, Catherine, in The Company…. You're a painted shell of a person. A ghost. They make you into whatever they need you to be. You do bad things for good reasons. I think at some point I forgot what doing good felt like."

"You raised a good man."

Doris shook her head, "I taught him manners. The Navy taught him to be a man."

Catherine smiled, "Manners maketh man."

The server dropped the bill on the table. Catherine made a move for it but Doris intercepted it. "My treat. I insist."

"Thank you." Catherine nodded politely as she reached into her purse and pulled out a worn slip of paper, no bigger than a stick of gum. "I found this the other day when I was going through some stuff at my place and thought you might like to see this."

Doris wrinkled her brow as she took the paper from Catherine and read the faded words.

I wish you'd tell me what's going on, Sailor. -C
PS. Your mom was a smart lady.
I wish I could've met her and thanked
her for teaching you the brush pass.

"When we served together on the Enterprise we, um, we may have gotten in a little trouble with the brass for fraternization." Catherine smiled sheepishly.

Doris raised an eyebrow, "You? Breaking regs in the service? I don't think so. Steve, sure. You? No way."

Catherine laughed, "Okay, so not so much fraternization as a little harmless flirting when he was my C.O." She chewed on her lip, "We were being watched for a while and had to keep things on the up and up so we used the brush pass you taught him as a kid to pass notes. He always spoke very highly of you. He loved you a lot. Still does."

"He loves you." Doris stated as they stood up to leave.

"What?" Her eyebrows raised as she gripped the linen covered table. "Did he tell you that?"

Doris's mouth gaped open, "He's never said that to you, has he?"

Catherine shook her head as her cheeks flushed, "No… um… No… He hasn't."

"Sweetie…" Doris's tone softened. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed. I just… from the way he looks at you and talks about you, I just assumed that you two had…."

"We haven't said it." Catherine admitted.

Doris nodded, "I don't doubt for a second that he does, but I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Catherine shrugged, "Actions speak louder than words in my book." She dug around in her purse as her phone began to ring, "Thank you for, um, lunch." She pulled her phone out and read the Caller ID. "I should get this."

"Of course." Doris smiled, "Let's do this again sometime?"

"Absolutely!" Catherine nodded as she answered the call, "Lieutenant Rollins… Oh, Kevin Hobbs! Of course! I haven't heard from you since the Academy! What can I do for you?" She waved goodbye to Doris as she jogged to her car.


Catherine felt the knot in her stomach clench tighter as she stared at her phone. The information that Kevin Hobbs had told her as she watched Doris walk away from the restaurant put her between a rock and a hard place. Again.

Treat it like an assignment, she had decided. She passed the information off to Steve and what he did with it was his decision. Things had changed. The tide had shifted. She remembered the look in his eye when she stopped him from coming to her rescue during the travesty that was the TV interview on the beach. He was angry at the TV crew, he was protective of her, but the thing that was burned in her mind was the way his heels dug into the sand as she held her hand out to stop him from barging in. Respect.

It's one of those things that's hard to define, but you know it when you see it. Steve respected her. He respected her intelligence. Her combat prowess. Her ability to make her own decisions. It was time, Catherine decided, that she stopped trying to protect him and started respecting his ability to make the best possible decisions with the information at hand. That's all anyone can really do in life, isn't it?

She tried to focus on the briefing she was supposed to prepare but her thoughts kept going back to the devastated look he had when she showed up in his office with the dossier that contained proof that Doris hacked into the FBI database. Her phone lit up with an incoming call. Catherine hit the button on her bluetooth and prayed she had made the right decision, "Hey, I was just thinking about you. Look. I know the information Hobbs sent over isn't… optimum… But I promised that I wasn't going to hide anything from you again and I just thought you should know-"

"Cath, it's okay." He chuckled, "Look, I appreciate you bringin' it over. I, uh, I talked to Doris about it and it's…. messy."

"Messy? Messy how?"

Steve sighed, "Look. I don't really have time to go into details, but I… I think I need to watch her six on this one. She's going after an ex-CIA spook and I don't want her to be going in alone."

Catherine's eyebrows raised as her voice lowered, "She's running an unsanctioned op?"

"Somethin' like that. Look, I'll be home late, but my place tonight. Yeah?"

"Yeah.. Okay."

Steve swallowed, "Cath, there's something else."

"What?"

"Kono got shot. They're takin' her to King's now."

Catherine cupped her hand over her mouth, "Oh my God. What- what happened? Is she gonna be okay? Are you okay? Is anybody else hurt?"

"She's good. Nothing vital hit. We're good. Look, uh, I can't get over there 'cause I need to go deal with this thing with Doris, but, uh, do you think you could go check on her for me? Tell her I'll be there first thing in the morning to see her?"

"Of course. I'll- I'll go as soon as I'm off duty." Catherine glanced at the clock, "Don't worry - I got your six. But this thing with Doris- just… be safe. Okay?"

"I'll see you at home."

"See you at home." She confirmed.


"Well, well, well." Catherine smiled as she knocked on the door to Kono's hospital room, "How ya feelin', troublemaker?"

Kono laughed but immediately winced and pressed her hand to her stomach, "Stop that, it hurts to laugh." She groaned with a smile.

Catherine sat on the edge of the bed, "Been there. It sucks. Hurts like hell."

"You got shot?" Kono raised her eyebrows as she settled back against the stack of pillows.

She held up three fingers, "Third tour in Kabul." She patted her leg, "Still hurts when it rains."

"What happened?"

"We were ambushed and I caught a round in my thigh. Got hit by a directional blast and ended up with a broken arm and a broken vertebrae."

"Wow." Kono picked at the hem of the hospital sheets. "Was Steve with you? I bet he went ballistic."

Catherine shook her head, "No, he was stationed… somewhere else. And we were broken up at the time."

"And you found your way back to each other?" Kono's voice was sad but laced with an air of pensive hope.

"Yeah. Eventually. I, um, I think it was good for us. I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucked. It did. But I needed some time and I think he did too. And life brought us back together when it was supposed to." She cocked her head, "You and Adam?"

Kono nodded. "Yeah, I, uh, I dunno if we're gonna make it past this one. I went behind his back…"

"Nice to meet you, Pot. My name is Kettle." Catherine laughed. Almost reverently, she asked, "Do you love him?"

Kono thought for a minute as she pulled at the thread hanging off the hem of the sheets, "Is love even enough if I can't trust him?"

Catherine glanced over her shoulder as Chin, Danny, and Kamekona barged in the room. She stood silently as the boys checked in on Kono. Catherine couldn't get that nagging thought out of her mind. Is love enough? Does love even mean anything if you can't trust someone?


"Hey hey." Steve looked up from his book and dogeared the page. "Kinda surprised I made it back before you did. How's Kono?"

Catherine closed the front door behind her and settled into the couch beside him, "Good, she's… she's good." She picked up the novel he had been reading and scanned the title, "You a big Robin Masters fan?"

He chuckled, "The White Knight books are a, uh, they're an easy read. Good way to relax." He pressed his thumb against the wrinkles on her forehead and wiggled the tension lines away. "What's going on up there, Rollins?"

"How was the op?"

Steve frowned, "I'll tell you after you tell me what's on your mind. You been at the hospital this whole time?"

Catherine shook her head, "No, I went for a drive after I left."

"Uh huh." Steve kicked his ankle up on his knee, "Talk to me."

She took a deep breath, "I had lunch with your mom today."

"I'm assuming that was before Hobbs called you about her hacking in the FBI database?"

Catherine nodded and tucked her feet underneath her, "Yeah, she… she asked me yesterday and wanted to get together so we had lunch today and… just talked." His arm draped around her shoulders and she began to let her walls down, "It was good. We, um, we bonded a little… I think."

"And that's what you went on a drive to, uh, to stew over? Lunch with Doris?"

She shook her head, "Nah, that was just some girl talk between me and Kono before Danny and Chin showed up."

"Okay." He let his fingertips glide along her arm, "Anything else you wanna get off your chest?" He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, "You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"I'm sorry I broke your trust when I lied about-"

"Cath." He stopped her and leaned in, placing his hand on her leg, "We've been over this. No factor. Okay? I trust you. " He eased her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her, "You and me. Don't doubt it, okay?"

She nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder, "How was the op?"

"Went a little sideways but, we, uh, we got out in one piece. Got the microfiche back. So it's safe. We're safe."

"Microfiche?"

Steve sighed, "Doris kept unredacted action reports stored away in case anyone came after her."

Catherine's eyes widened, "Fuck. Is that what got stolen from her house a few weeks back?"

"Yeah." He groaned. "My family's fucked up."

She settled against his chest and closed her eyes, "Hey, Steve?"

"Hm?" He leaned down and rested his chin on her head.

"I… I judged your mom without giving her a chance and I'm sorry for that." Catherine tangled her fingers into his and reveled in the comfort and security she felt in his arms. "But I really did have a good time with her. I, uh, I think we've got a lot in common, actually."

He chuckled, "I dunno if I should be happy about that or, uh, if you two are gonna be ganging up on me from now on."

"Why, Commander McGarrett, it almost sounds like you're planning on me being here for the long haul." She tilted her head back and looked at him upside down.

Steve sighed, "I know your orders at Pearl are almost up." He pressed his lips to her forehead and held on to her for dear life, "I don't like thinkin' about it but I know it's coming." He tilted his head and kissed the soft skin behind her ear, "How much longer do I have you?"

Catherine chewed on her lip, "I, um, I don't get my new orders for a couple weeks. So we'll see. Maybe I won't get moved." She yawned and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. Catherine had mentioned to her C.O. that she was thinking about resigning her commission. The paperwork was sitting on her kitchen table. All it needed was a few more signatures. But was she ready? Truthfully, she had thought about telling him and seeking his guidance on the matter, but he hadn't given her any inkling of permanence in their relationship. It would be foolish to make that decision with him in mind and then be left high and dry. Catherine decided to keep it to herself. For now. "Wanna head upstairs?" Another yawn escaped. "I've got a meeting with my C.O. before I'm on duty so I'll be out early."

He pecked her lips, "Copy that."


Meeting with her C.O. about processing out, she had briefings and intel reports due, running prints and an airplane tail number for Steve. Catherine groaned and checked off her mental to-do list as she walked across the base and updated Steve and Danny on her findings for their case. It wasn't even lunch time yet.

"Did you get anything off the bloody prints we found on the plane's steering wheel?" Danny asked.

"Yoke."

"What?"

"Yoke. It's called a yoke."

"The yoke?"

Ah, conference calls with Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Steve and Danny in the car were worse than an old married couple. "Yeah, I ran them but there were no matches in any of our print databases." Her eyes flickered to a man strutting across the base in his dress uniform. Holy shit. There's no way-

Steve groaned, "Well, of course there wasn't. The CIA doesn't want him to exist."

"Good. All we gotta do is find an anonymous maniac who butchered five people and keep him from getting off the island."

Shit. Shit. Shit. She wasn't hallucinating. And then he saw her. "Hey, listen. I gotta run, but um… I'll… I'll be here if you need anything. Okay?" She stepped in line with the man and exchanged nervous smiles.

"Copy that. Thanks, Cath." Steve yelled through the phone.

She slid her phone back in the pocket of her uniform, "Hey, you!"

Billy Harrington grinned and leaned in for a hug, "Hey, I was just coming to find you."

Ugh, Billy. Sweet, Billy. "What are you doing here in Hawaii?!"

"I am done." He exhaled as he clapped his hands together and bounced on his toes.

She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head, "Like… done done?"

"Yep." He nodded. "In a few weeks this thing goes in the closet and I am through collecting a government check."

"Wow. So… What's the next chapter in the life of Billy Harrington?" She smiled as she shifted nervously between her feet.

His confident smirk she had fallen for at the bar in Coronado showed up as he said, "How about I tell you over dinner?"

And there was the ask. She tried to hide her flattered smile so as not to lead him on, "I'm seeing someone." She admitted sheepishly.

"McGarrett." He guessed in a groan. Catherine's nod told him that he was spot on. "In Amsterdam you told me that was over."

"It was." She admitted. "And what happened between you and me was real. And I'll never regret Amsterdam or working together in Kabul, but it's been five years, Billy. Things change."

For a split second he looked like a puppy she had kicked. "Well." He turned on his classic charm and gave her a thousand-watt smile, "If things change again, I'll be staying at the Ilikai."

She couldn't resist his magnetic optimism, "It was good to see you."

"You too." He pulled her into a hug.

Billy and Catherine parted ways but Catherine couldn't help herself when she turned back to look at him, "Hey, Harrington." He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "My number's still the same. Pretty sure I owe you a beer for saving my ass before that RPG hit in Kabul."

"Pretty sure I owe you a beer for breaking what- two of your ribs trying to get you out?" He grinned.

"Three, but who's counting, right?" She laughed. "Give me a call. I know Steve would want to catch up with you too."

He chuckled dryly, "Right. See you around, Rollins."


Catherine slammed the door to her Corvette before circling the hood and hopping into the cab of Steve's truck, "So you caught an NLM terrorist. You stopped a domestic terrorist attack on the mainland. Kono was on the run but is now cleared. Michael Noshimuri is dead and Doris is helping Adam disappear in China. Did I miss anything else today?"

Steve let out a slow breath, "It's been one a hell of a day."

"Understatement of the year." She reached over and held his hand, "You're worried about her leaving, aren't you?"

"Yeah." He pushed his head back on the headrest and shut his eyes, "How was your day?"

She waved her free hand dismissively, "No factor. We're talking about you."

"She just got here. Things just got good." He sighed as he pressed his palms into his eyes, "God, I'm tired."

Catherine laughed quietly, "You're getting old."

"Hmph. You can say that again." He blinked his eyes open as headlights flashed across the port. "That's gotta be everyone else." Steve unclicked his seatbelt but hesitated, "Hey, Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being here." He squeezed her hand as he lifted it and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "I mean it. I, uh, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I promised you I'd have your six, didn't I?" Another set of headlights caught their attention, "C'mon. Let's go see them off."


Steve snuggled Will in the rocking chair as he drifted off to sleep, "And that was the day I almost told your mom that I loved her. Well, between you and me, there were a fuck ton of days I almost told her." He mentally flogged himself. He had Catherine had just had a conversation about not using four letter words around the kids. "Fork ton of days." A soft knock on the door caught his attention.

"Hey." Catherine whispered. "Is he asleep? Shelbs is ready for bed."

He nodded and laid Will in his crib. "Sleep tight, Champ. I love you, little man." Catherine snuck in and kissed his little head.

Steve traded with Catherine and slipped in Shelby's room, spotting her favorite stuffed bunny hiding underneath the crib. "Don't wanna go to sleep without him, do ya?" He chuckled as he tucked it into her little arms, "I love you, you know." He brushed his hand across the wispy red hair on Shelby's head, "Sleep tight, pretty girl." He flipped the lights off and shut the door behind him.

Catherine met him in the hallway and looped her arms around his neck, "Hi."

His hands rested on her hips, "Hey, pretty girl." He pecked her lips.

"You know." She began as she took a step closer, "I never get tired of hearing you say I love you to me or to Shelby and Will."

He tilted her chin up and kissed her, "I don't think I'll, uh, ever get tired of saying it." Steve rested his forehead on hers, "I love you, you know." His fingers burned a gentle path from her hips, up her arms, lightly across her collarbone, until he cradled her face in his hands, "Don't ever doubt it."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Oh hey, Billy Harrington. Nice to "meet" you. (Episode officially, anyways!) Isn't is so much more satisfying knowing what happened in Amsterdam and Kabul now? ;)

Leave me your thoughts and feedback in the reviews!

I generally like to keep things pretty positive down here because let's be honest- the world is a pretty dire place right now. But, if I'm being honest with you guys, I've had a really tough week personally and professionally. So, I just wanted to thank you all for sticking with me, taking time to read my work, leaving me reviews (because I seriously adore reading each and every one!), and distracting me on Twitter and Instagram in all the best ways! You guys are the best!

Happy Friday!

XO,

-Mags-