TRIGGER WARNING
1) flashbacks | 2) dissociation
1. There are mentions of flashbacks though they're not graphic and no actual flashbacks are described. Just the mention that they happened and that they're disturbing.
2. There are descriptions of dissociation throughout the chapter, especially body-numbing dissociation. If you're in an easily triggered state when it comes to dissociation, then I recommend to read this chapter once you feel more grounded.
Noon greeted her with birdsong, grey skies and a stiff wind. It seemed to be a theme up here that she was slowly recognizing, but hadn't yet adjusted to. If she'd been in Paris right now, there might be clouds as well, but it would definitely be less windy and much warmer. The cold kept her inside as much as the wheelchair did, reminding her of the winter she thought she had just left behind and diminishing her dreams of summer.
With empty eyes, Marinette stared out the kitchen window and up into the sky. The racing clouds—a rare sight only seen before storms at home—were nothing out of the ordinary here and had become a fascination of the recent past by now. But no matter how accustomed she had become to it, it would never be Paris, it would never be home.
Today was a shitty day—Wednesday, she reminded herself—starting from the moment she had woken up from an especially gruesome nightmare that had almost seamlessly transitioned into a flashback. Too many triggers, too little grasp on reality, in a different way than the one Adrien had when the here and now was slipping away from him. Or was it similar? Maybe they could talk about that when he could show himself near her again and she had the brain capacity left to comprehend it, unlike right now.
Today was a shitty day.
Trauma recovery was what she had bravely called it on Monday after waking up to Adrien's voice telling her to keep her eyes closed. Félix had mentioned how it was anything but pleasant, but a part of her hadn't wanted to believe him. That very same part was now filled with regret.
She shouldn't have done it back then, shortly after waking up, and she definitely shouldn't have done it several times in a row and repeated that mistake yesterday.
Build up the terror and bear it, had been her mantra.
A stupid mantra.
A working mantra.
Things had gotten better, but there was a price to be paid. No trigger had been completely erased yet—of course not, it had just been two days—but she could already feel how looking Adrien in the eyes was getting less frightening. It was the first thing they worked on, as it was the biggest and most obvious trigger she had been able to identify.
It wasn't easy for either of them by a long shot; for her to feel this intense fear and for him to see her look at him in fear.
That wasn't the reason why they had stopped today.
It was Wednesday. The shittiest Wednesday she had ever lived through in her current opinion.
Flashback after flashback exhausted her to the point where she was begging it to stop, starting at dawn when she had been startled awake by her own twisted mind and stretching through the entire morning. Adrien, as a main trigger, had to leave her once again to not make things worse, but still tried to talk to her, with walls and doors as a barrier to sight. The distance made his attempts to ground her almost useless, though it had slowly started working the closer noon had gotten. Eventually she had been stable enough to brave the venture downstairs with Sabrina's help and make them some food.
At least that had been the plan, until they had abruptly figured out that being carried was a trigger for Marinette as well—obviously not as big of a trigger as other things as it hadn't seemed to be a problem before, but in her sensitive state it had been enough. Another flashback had rolled over her after that while she had been sat down in the kitchen by Sabrina. She only vaguely remembered her wheelchair being brought downstairs as well and her being coaxed to transfer into it with some help. According to the clock on the wall, it had taken her over half an hour to semi-recover. That had been the moment she had decided that the plans to make food were back on the agenda. Adrien, wisely, remained out of sight, but was always close enough to talk to.
Ignoring the pain in her legs and shoulder from her graceless fall out of bed earlier, she wheeled herself away from the window and back to the oven. Adrien had forbidden her to cook anything with how dissociated she was, which peeved her a little but she could still understand the sense behind it. The last thing she needed right now was a kitchen accident. Frozen pizza, on the other hand, was well within the realm of possibilities and, all things considered, bore next to no risk at all.
Still three minutes left.
Her view drifted around the room in an attempt to focus on something else solid. Her eyes found the most unique part of the kitchen and zeroed in on it: a wooden hatch that could be pushed upward and which connected to the living room. It had probably been built for food to be pushed through, as a dining table hid on the other side—she had tested that the first time she had seen it. Despite its purpose, it didn't seem to be used often if the radio and assorted hotchpotch on its equally wooden window sill was anything to go by.
That very radio now blared a song she had heard somewhere before and either couldn't recall the name of or didn't know it in the first place. Adrien's quiet humming of the melody, from where he was lying in the hallway just outside the kitchen, was the thing that, in the end, grounded her more than the original song did. A smile, which she guessed was faint at best as it fought the all-encompassing numbness, stretched on her face when she heard him quietly start singing only shortly afterwards.
After a conversation about charming and rowan berries, she was now in possession of a simple necklace that had dried rowan berries clumsily added to it like mismatched pearls. Out of curiosity, she had tested its effects with a very reluctant Adrien the previous day and the results had been interesting. Without the protection of the rowan berries, she had, much like the time where she had heard Sabrina sing, started crying, though this time out of awe of how beautiful his voice was. He had slightly panicked at that and told her to put the necklace back on. His voice didn't lose any of its beauty afterwards, but the lull of magic that had taken hold of her before had been gone.
Even without an inexplicable magical pull though his voice was more than just beautiful as he quietly copied the singer on the radio. When Marinette mentally compared them, she knew that bias didn't have anything to do with it when she determined Adrien's cover as the superior version of the song. It was one of the things the test from the day before had proven as well: human voices just couldn't compare.
The oven gave a double beep, signalling the one-minute countdown until the pizzas would be ready. Marinette sighed as her numb hands tried to manoeuvre the wheelchair in a way that would allow her to open up the oven and take the pizzas out of it.
Dissociation, as she had come to learn, was a bitch! At least her current state was an enormous improvement from the full-body numbness from earlier. It had felt like what she imagined complete paralysis must be like. She hadn't even been able to move her mouth to speak and only with enormous effort had been able to look around the room at all.
Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep.
Marinette reached out to shut off the timer and opened the oven door. She was grateful for the wooden pizza slats Sabrina had found in one of the cupboards earlier and taken out for her. God knows what would have happened if she'd had porcelain plates to deal with instead! This way, she could unintentionally drop the wooden slats without having to worry about them breaking and thus not having to feel guilty for accidental destruction of property.
"Do you need help?" Adrien asked from the hallway after one of the slats had fallen on the open oven door for the third time in a row, and she needed a moment to process the question.
"Maybe," she eventually replied, not really knowing what she was capable of or not right now.
"I'll get Sabrina!" Was the reply before she heard the sound of him hopping up the stairs.
Marinette stared at the oven and the wooden slat in her hands, unblinking. She hated that on top of hurting physically and mentally, she was also proving to be absolutely useless at anything, not even being able to serve lunch for herself and Adrien!
Today was a shitty day.
Apart from the embarrassment of having Sabrina take the pizzas out of the oven and cut them, lunch went fine. Adrien had remained in the hallway and Marinette had stayed in the kitchen. Even though that meant that the two of them were less than four metres apart, it still felt lonely. Her mistake had been the continued glances towards the doorway, as she eventually, inevitably, caught an unintentional glimpse of his tail and the flashbacks started anew.
They made her feel terrified, useless and guilty. She had no idea where the shame came from, but it was very deeply-rooted in every single one of her thoughts, painting it as her fault. If only she had been stronger. If only she had fought more. If only she had run faster.
Those thoughts didn't leave her alone and made her feel so sick that she almost threw up the pizza. She was glad that she didn't.
Marinette was terribly and incurably homesick.
She missed the warm meals her mother cooked and her father's strong hugs that he always insisted on giving her before she rushed out of the house in the mornings to get to class on time. She missed the video game tournaments the three of them would hold on Sundays, often inviting Adrien, Félix or any of her other friends to join them if they could. She missed having her hair soothingly stroked by her mother, father, Adrien or even Alya when she was feeling down and just needed to hug one of them for a while. She missed Tikki and her endless encouragement and wisdom. She missed her small balcony that, while still in the heart of Paris, offered somewhat of a retreat from her ever-busy life. She missed swinging high above the Parisian rooftops as Ladybug and feeling the wind tousling her hair. She missed sewing. She missed laughing with her friends. She missed her pink attic room. She missed how things had seemed simple.
Left to right, head to tail she ran her hands through the soft plush fur of the snow leopard plushie in an attempt to ground herself. The urge to cry had overwhelmed her a while ago already, so she just focused on trying not to make a sound and thus not alarm Adrien. The phrase 'I just want to go home,' that looped in her head, sounded like the whining of a small child, but was it childish or infantile? Even if it hadn't been out of malicious intent but for her and everyone else's safety, she had still been kidnapped and cut off from everything she knew. There had been no goodbyes, no plans like for taking a vacation, or anything else that could count as closure. Would it still hurt so bad even if closure had been there? Maybe.
She wanted to go home.
Reaching out, Marinette opened the drawer of her bedside table and took out her sketchbook. She didn't feel like drawing, but the designs inside were still those that she had drawn before all this had happened. Pieces of the life she yearned for and apart from the clothes she wore, they were the only connection to home that she currently had.
She flipped through page after page, studying each design in detail and recalling when and where she drew it. For her, it was the same as going through a photo album, memory after memory playing before her mind's eye. The black jacket with the golden accents had been something she had sketched after patrol once, obviously inspired by her partner. She had put off making it, wanting to gift it to Adrien for their anniversary or his birthday, but now that thought only seemed cruel. He wouldn't be Chat Noir ever again.
She flipped to the next page and was greeted by soft colours and swirls. One of her early spring designs that had ended up getting scrapped as a project as she just couldn't find the right fabrics, but she vividly remembered sitting outside in the park back in March on an unusually warm day and sketching away while kids played close-by and and park goers went by her on their walks.
Another page and another design. This one a vintage dress in white with pink and red flowers and a black belt in the middle. She had scribbled "sew a white petticoat!" next to it and underlined it three times after not finding one she liked online.
On the next page she could practically hear the music that had been playing in the café where she'd sketched the jumpsuit, and taste the hot chocolate on her tongue. A black shirt with silver accents meanwhile practically screamed "rainy day" as well as the blue kimono jacket on the page after it. Marinette continued going through her sketchbook in that fashion, reliving the creation of each and every sketch while letting herself believe the illusion of the homely feeling it gave her. Then, before she knew it, she flipped over a page and landed on a blank one. She had reached the end and the realisation of it sunk in as suddenly as a snowflake melted on a sanded pavement. She wasn't home, but still very far away from it or anything like it.
With a sniffle and a sigh, she shoved the sketch book back into the drawer. This had been much less comforting than she had hoped it to be. All it did was make her feel even more homesick.
When she was about to close the drawer again, another object in it caught her eye: Adrien's old phone. She took it out and turned it on. The last few days had been spent mainly talking to Adrien and in a haze of hurt and flashbacks, so she hadn't had the chance to use it yet. Now though, she realised that it could be much more than just an entertainment device. When the screen finally lit up and she typed in the pin, she was glad to see that the battery was still at a solid 84%.
When she opened the contacts, there were only three names there: Princess, Coffee Cat and DJ N.
Her thumb briefly hovered over Princess, knowing that it would be a direct line home. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then shook her head. This would only end in a disaster and she wasn't in the right mental state to make such conflicting decisions at the moment.
She tapped the name Coffee Cat instead, slightly amused by the secret nickname Adrien had given his brother, and opened the chat window.
Resisting the curiosity to go through Adrien's and Félix's old messages, she typed out a new one.
KitKat: Hey
With how frazzled and desperate her mind was, she kept going only seconds later though, hoping Félix wouldn't give her hell for spamming him.
KitKat: Today isn't a good day and I miss home so I thought about texting you
How r u doing btw?
Anything new?
Or anything good?
I hate how good news are rare right now
Don't mind me I'm delirious
It's been a long day and I'm exhausted
Everything hurts
Are headaches normal?
I don't know if what I'm seeing is real anymore or just another shitshow
Sorry
But who am I telling that
You know exactly what that's like
Sorry for the spam
I'll just stop now
Hope your silence means you're taking a nap
Coffee Cat: No apologies needed. And yes, that's normal.
KitKat: You need more sleep Oh you're there
Hi
Is it bad right now?
Coffee Cat: You're good, I'm on my way home at the moment. I'll come over once I'm there.
KitKat: You need sleep first and foremost!
Coffee Cat: I need to come over anyway
KitKat: Another delivery?
Coffee Cat: Always. Though it's more of a gift, or rather gifts, this time.
Anyway, how lucid are you?
KitKat: Yay to gifts! ❤️
You're making it sound like I'm drunk :/
Still kinda dissociated
And homesick
And crying
Coffee Cat: On a scale of one to three, how dissociated are we talking? When you're able to text I'd guess something around 1?
KitKat: 1-1.5
Has been much worse earlier
I'm getting better
I hate how useless I am like this
Coffee Cat: A valid feeling.
KitKat: Thank you! It's nice hearing that instead of "you're not useless!"
Coffee Cat: One reason to abhor the ability to lie in halflings, isn't it? He means well though.
KitKat: I know he does, but it doesn't exactly help
Please answer honestly though: how is Paris?
Coffee Cat: speaking of lying…
KitKat: Félix
Coffee Cat: Your parents, friends and everyone else you know and care about is fine.
KitKat: What happened?
Coffee Cat: Seems like you missed the news. It's a LB & CN problem that I'd rather tell you about in person in ca. ten minutes. Can you wait that long?
KitKat: Okay, I'll wait.
Are you okay?
Waiting for Félix to reply felt like an eternity. She fidgeted impatiently after only one minute and after two minutes called out to Adrien.
"Yes?" He replied from the hallway, his voice sounding like it came from directly behind the ajar door.
A part of her heart ached at the fact that they were separated once again. It was wrong. She'd much rather spend the day with her eyes closed—maybe even blindfolded to make sure she wouldn't glimpse anything that could trigger her—and with her hands buried in his soft fur than like this. Once again, her imagination was a blessing and a curse though and if she only had the quietest thought of how he really looked like, she'd be in the middle of a flashback once more before she even realised what had happened. Neither of them deserved that.
Necessary precaution or not, the small distance to him still hurt.
"I'm texting Félix right now and he said something happened. Something about Ladybug and Chat Noir. Did you hear anything about that?" Marinette asked and was glad that she had managed to stop crying while texting, making her voice sound less fragile than before.
"I haven't watched the news either," Adrien said, clear worry in his voice. "Is he okay?"
"That's what I've been asking him too but he isn't replying!"
A distressed little sound akin to a whimper reached her from the other side of the door and she immediately felt bad.
"He said he's on his way home and over here, so we can ask him soon."
"Maybe that's why he's not replying. If he got in through the front door and father caught him, Fé is probably in the middle of an argument right now. Hopefully he doesn't curse father again."
Marinette didn't know if it was her dissociation that made her take so long to grasp the meaning of that sentence, or the sheer absurdity of it. After all, usually people didn't use the word "curse" literally.
"Again?"
Adrien sighed. "Fé has a knack for it, unfortunately. Made father unable to leave the house for a year two years ago. He's even more hostile now as a result, and the last thing we need right now is for father to get worse than he already is."
Marinette jumped when the phone in her hand suddenly vibrated and she immediately woke up the device to check what Félix had texted.
Coffee Cat: apart from insomnia I'm good
"Ugh, of course," Marinette muttered with a roll of her eyes.
"What is it?" Adrien asked, sounding worried again.
"He still doesn't get enough sleep."
Adrien made a noise like a failed attempt at whistling, immediately followed by a cough—probably his attempt to cut off an instinctive hiss. She was thankful to him for that, since she really didn't want to get triggered shortly before Félix wanted to visit them. Speaking of…
KitKat: I told you to take naps!
Coffee Cat: I would if I had the opportunity to. You know how father is with scheduling photoshoots.
KitKat: I'm gonna punch him in the face
Coffee Cat: Get in line. Alya called dibs on that again yesterday.
KitKat: Out of which reason?
Coffee Cat: The one thing he actually wasn't responsible for.
I'm home now, see you in a few minutes.
"Félix said he's home now and will come over in a few minutes," Marinette informed Adrien.
A noise of excitement followed that was something in between cat and human, like a whooping half-meow, before there was the unmistakable sound of him hurrying down the hallway to brave the stairs and greet his brother. Despite everything, she smiled. Adrien was cut off from his family just as much as she was and she was glad that, in contrast to her, his family could actually visit and relieve him of at least some of the burden he carried.
Marinette knew for a fact that Félix had arrived when there was the sound of a door opening, followed immediately by: "Don't you dare jump up at me!"
There was the sound of excited chattering from Adrien which she sadly couldn't catch anything coherent of. Once again, she envied him for his good hearing and wished she had it too. After a few minutes of conversation, she finally heard footsteps on the stairs. Adrien, who seemed especially excited, was surprisingly the first to get back upstairs and by the sounds of it he slid through the entirety of the hallway to come to a stop in front of her bedroom door.
"Fé brought cake!" He announced as if the greatest gift in the world had just been bestowed upon him.
Marinette immediately perked up at the mention of baked goods.
"From our bakery?" She asked excitedly.
"Wouldn't dare to buy it anywhere else," Félix replied before knocking on the open door. "May I come in?"
"Only if you have cake," she replied without hesitation, which drew a chuckle out of him.
Félix entered the room with the most tired smile she had ever seen him wear. In his left hand he held a plate with a piece of hazelnut pistachio cream cake on it which he immediately set down on her lap.
"Tom swore up and down how this one turned out especially delicious, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring you a piece before coming over. I also got a myriad of other things that I put into the fridge."
"Cinnamon rolls, pain aux chocolats, Danishes, eclairs, macarons, croissants, a baguette," Adrien listed off. "He basically bought one of everything!"
"Bought is an exaggerated term. The day your parents let me pay full price for anything is the day Hawkmoth decides to voluntarily surrender his Miraculous," Félix said with a roll of his eyes before heavily sitting down on the chair that still stood next to her bed. "Bless your parents for the cheese Danishes, honestly," he added with a small laugh. "I haven't had enough time to order new Camembert for Plagg yet."
"I told you that I can order it myself!" Plagg said as he suddenly came flying into the room and landed on Félix's head.
"With my credit card? No chance."
He then shook his head with Plagg stubbornly staying on top of it. "Sorry," he said, as if only now realising that he was rambling. "How are you doing?"
Marinette smiled and shrugged. "Like I said, I'm better. This morning was very flashback-heavy but I think I'm good now."
She picked up the fork and tried a bit of cake. A feeling of bliss of the kind that could only be caused by sweet deliciousness immediately overcame her.. It was more than just heavenly and tasted like home.
"Thank you so, so much," she said. "This is exactly what I needed!"
A small, still obviously tired, smile appeared on Félix's face. "Glad to hear it. When you texted, saying that you had a rough day, I thought about what could help and then just got you what would have helped me."
"Good thinking," she praised and shovelled another forkful of cake into her mouth.
"He got me half of an entire chocolate cake!" Adrien squeaked and sounded so excited about it that she pictured him vibrating in place from joy.
"I would have gotten a whole one, but at that point only half was left," Félix said with a shrug.
"What did my parents say about that order?" Marinette asked, slightly amused while picturing it.
"Sabine asked if I wanted to order an entire cake for next time instead of buying up most of the display case."
"I call dibs on marzipan-strawberry cheesecake!" Adrien said in the same excited, squeaky way as before.
Marinette snorted at his enthusiasm. "Did you already eat the cake and got a sugar rush from it?" She asked him.
"No? Yes? I don't know? Fé?"
Félix waved it off. "Don't mind him. Fae are fond of sweet things and he just didn't get anything up to his standards for a while. It's sort of like a sugar rush though he only had a few eclairs just now and no cake. Not yet at least."
That was news to her. And just like that, her mind grabbed onto one of her oldest memories of him.
"Wait, does that mean that you really only visited me for the baked goods when we first met?!"
Adrien let out an appalled squawk. "No!" He sounded so offended and utterly shocked that she almost laughed. "I didn't!" He defended himself. "But Fé did!"
Marinette turned to the other Agreste brother in question with a raised eyebrow. Félix just held up his hands.
"Guilty as charged. I did tell you I was there for the cake though."
"Such disaster kittens," Plagg snickered from where he still sat on top of Félix's head. "Speaking of, we didn't just come to deliver cake."
Marinette almost choked on her bite when she remembered the text conversation from earlier and her and Adrien's worries.
"Right. You said something happened to Ladybug and Chat Noir," she said and set her fork back down, giving Félix her undivided attention.
"Are you okay Fé?" Adrien asked, his voice once again worried with no trace left of his earlier excitement about sugary goods.
"I'm fine and Bri is too. It's more of an act of retaliation against us than anything else."
Adrien hissed something that sounded like a lengthy curse involving the word 'iron.'
"That doesn't sound good," Marinette said warily.
"It's bad, and probably just the beginning," Plagg said, his voice now serious as well.
Félix bit his lip and didn't meet her eyes. Even if she hadn't known him as well as she did, the guilt in his eyes was badly-concealed and she again asked herself just what had happened. Eventually it was Plagg who broke the silence.
"You see, the kitten has always been involved in keeping the fae away from Akuma attacks. Cat Sidhe are kind of infamous among the Courts for their bad luck and no one would want to risk bringing misfortune upon themselves by angering them, even if they're just halflings. That way, he kept the fae at bay and discouraged them from most mischief. Now he's Chat Noir though, which means the fae have free rein in his absence and can use the chaos of Akuma attacks to their advantage."
Adrien cursed again before falling eerily quiet as well. "Who died?" He eventually asked in a small voice.
Marinette paled at the words. Someone had died? Actually, honest to god, died during an Akuma attack?!
"No one of great importance to either the Court, Ladybug and Chat Noir nor us. It was René and he just seemed to be at the wrong place at the wrong time," Félix eventually said.
"Who's René?" Marinette asked, the name sounding only distantly familiar.
"A fellow model. He actually was an asshole, but that still doesn't mean that he deserved to die," Adrien said.
"Shit," was all Marinette could say and was very glad that she had set the fork down, as she felt herself dissociating again at the thought.
She took a deep breath and then concentrated on her surroundings just like Adrien had instructed her how to do earlier. Five things she could see, four things she could touch, three things she could hear, two things she could smell, one thing she could taste.
When she finished off with the taste of hazelnut and pistachio cream cake, she felt more stable again.
"I'm sorry, I knew it would be a difficult topic, but I didn't mean to distress you that much with it," Félix said and looked clearly devastated.
She numbly waved it off. "Don't worry, I've been like that all day already and worse. So, what do you plan to do about the new situation? There has to be something."
Félix sighed. "There is, but it's more an idea than a plan at the moment."
"Let's hear it," Marinette said, feeling more grounded already. Planning was her element.
Instead of a reply, Félix rummaged around in his bag and pulled out a very familiar octagonal box. Her eyes went wide.
"Before you get your hopes up, it's not the earrings," he said apologetically.
She couldn't help the small tinge of disappointment at those words—she really missed Tikki—but her curiosity outweighed it. Somewhat hesitantly, she took the box from his outstretched hand and turned it around in her own, still a little numb, hands. It looked as old as the one her earrings had been in and had the same red pattern on the top.
"What? What is it?" Adrien asked, as he still didn't dare to come inside the room to see what was going on.
"It's like the box I got my Miraculous from," she said, her voice quiet with awe.
"That's because it's a Miraculous box, Bug," Plagg supplied somewhat smugly. "It was partially my idea!"
"Wait, where in the netherworld did you get a Miraculous from, Fé?!" Adrien exclaimed in disbelief.
"From the same place I went to to heal Tikki."
Marinette stopped studying the box to look at him again.
"Wait, the person who healed Tikki has more Miraculouses?! I mean, Tikki said something about a Fox once when we were in the Camargue, but how many Miraculouses are there?"
Félix shrugged. "I don't know. I've just seen one other kwami apart from Plagg and Tikki before." He looked at the box again. "Or, well, that would make it two now."
Taking another deep breath and vowing to not throw random objects at the deity this time, Marinette opened the box. Immediately she was met with a blinding light just like that fateful day almost two years ago. It was somewhat nostalgic, just that this light materialised into a very blue and very feathered form instead of into a red bug.
"Greetings, fledgling! Oh, this is so exciting!" The kwami said in a voice that was as high-pitched as Tikki's but also had an oddly melodious quality to it. Much like birdsong morphed into words. Marinette was snapped out of her thoughts by the small being starting to excitedly dart around her head in circles. "It's been so long since I've had a chosen and look how cute you are! You'll be the most radiant peahen there has been in centuries, I can already tell!"
The blue kwami—most obviously a peafowl now that she saw them hovering still in front of her—grinned at her widely before sweeping into a bow.
"I am Duusu, goddess of emotion and beauty."
A snort was heard from her left.
"No, you're not," Plagg said. "Introducing yourself with lies now, are you?"
The peafowl kwami visibly bristled, fluffing up her feathers and fanning her tail as she glowered at Plagg.
"I am an admirer of the fine arts and I do know true beauty when I see it!"
Plagg rolled his eyes. "Still doesn't make you the goddess of it." He then looked at Marinette, obvious amusement twinkling in his eyes. "Got the emotional part right though. She's a handful, not like sweet, rule-abiding Tikki."
Duusu harrumphed and turned away from him with crossed arms, obviously insulted.
"Nice to meet you too, Duusu. I'm Marinette," she said, to at least have done one kwami introduction correctly.
The peafowl kwami immediately turned back around to her with glee on her face.
"The pleasure is all mine!" She chirped, only for her face to fall a moment later. "Oh. Oh no, you poor dear," she said, worry on her face and her eyes tearing up as she floated closer and softly put a paw on Marinette's forehead to stroke her softly. "You're so exhausted and hurt and confused."
"Can you…read my thoughts?"
Duusu floated back a little so she could look her in the eyes again and shook her head. "No, but your emotions, fledgling. They are clear as day to me."
"Could you maybe…uh…not do that? It's a little invasive."
The kwami grimaced apologetically. "I'm sorry, but it's my magic. It's the aspect that keeps me in this world, the reason I exist. Unlike kwamis like Plagg or Tikki who are fuelled by a universal force, I am dependent on a more fickle concept, as emotions are simply not found in anything not living. They just come to me naturally and I can't turn it off. But that also means that I can help you! This is by far not the first time I've been a guide and with my help things will be better in no time, I promise!"
Her tail feathers waggled excitedly while her eyes held a determined glint, just as if Marinette was a challenge that she needed to overcome.
"And there she goes again, being a mother hen," Plagg sighed, which earned him a sharp look from Duusu.
"I take pride in my fledglings and their flocks!"
As interesting as the conversation between the kwamis was, as well as Duusu herself, they had still deviated from the topic at hand. Marinette glanced at Félix who looked like he was seconds away from falling asleep.
"I still don't get your idea Félix," she said, effectively making him snap to attention once more.
"Duusu's powers are the closest to creation from all the kwamis, so she's technically a good fit for you."
"And I offer the best emotional support!" Duusu added proudly. The "You really need it." went unsaid, but Marinette could see it in both the kwami's and Félix's eyes.
"You could technically use her to transform," he continued. "That would also mean that you could follow an Akuma fight with your weapon by hacking into camera feeds in Paris and even stay in contact with me and maybe also Bri if necessary to advise us. And I mean both of you two. As much as I'm trying and as much as Bri digs out her old knowledge, we just don't have enough experience with fighting Akumas. You two know what to look out for."
Marinette regarded the brooch shaped like a peacock's fan. It was a Miraculous and even though she still wouldn't be able to go out and fight, it would mean that she could help.
"It sounds like a good idea," she said contemplatively. "But how does that help the fae problem?"
"You're counting on the fights being over quicker to give the Court less opportunity for retaliation, right?" Adrien guessed, the first thing he had said since she had opened the Miraculous box.
"Exactly. It's not a guarantee that nothing bad will happen anymore, but it could still help," Félix said.
"I'm in," Marinette said without further hesitation. If it meant that she could save even one person with at least trying, then it was worth it in her book. "Chaton?"
"Do you even need to ask, my lady?"
"I guess not," A small grin grew on her face and she then looked at Duusu, who seemed very excited by the prospect. "Is that plan okay with you too, Duusu?"
"Of course! I love helping! My fledglings are usually standby heroes anyway since my power creates sentient beings that help in battle and—"
"Wait, wait, wait. Your power does what?!" Marinette asked, wide-eyed. That was a huge step up from her always inanimate Lucky Charms.
Duusu grinned. "I know! It's amazing, isn't it? Though they're based on emotions, so the stronger the emotions and the more creative and magically capable my holder is, the more impressive the tulpa." Now she seemed to almost explode from sheer excitement. "And you're perfect for that role as a former holder of Creation! Though not yet. Paris is too far away from here for anything you create to get there in time, but once you're healed up and back home, I can't wait to see what you'll create!"
To be honest, Marinette couldn't wait either. Maybe she could go somewhere outside in a week or two if it was wheelchair-friendly and try it out where no one would be watching. A thrill went through her at the thought, not unlike the times where Chat Noir and her had tried out new things during patrols. It was something she had been sure to never experience again, yet here she was. She turned to Félix with the widest smile she could manage in her still half-numb state.
"Thank you, Félix! I just…thank you so much! Now I finally don't have to feel completely useless anymore."
Félix smiled back. "You were never useless to begin with. You and Adrien are the real deal while Bri and I are…well…it feels like I'm only playing at being a superhero."
Marinette reached out to take his hand and squeezed it encouragingly.
"You'll get there. It's a learning curve after all." A grin formed on her face once more when she took the peacock Miraculous out of its box. "Besides, you can always ask us for our professional opinions now."
"You three keep plotting about that then," Plagg suddenly said and floated up from Félix's head. "I have a kitten with the power of destruction to talk to."
There was a somewhat startled squeak from Adrien when Plagg flew out into the hallway and Marinette turned to Félix for clarification. He just shrugged.
"Maybe he wants to teach him a little more how to handle his magic," he guessed before turning his gaze down to the plate. "Do you need help eating the cake?"
Marinette mock-gasped. "How dare you!" she said and pretended to hit him. "I said I'm better now, see?"
To demonstrate, she cut off a bite of cake and shoved it into her mouth.
Félix chuckled. "Sorry. After Duusu's reaction I just wasn't sure if you really meant it when you said you were better."
"Oh, I meant it alright. In comparison to the hell of his morning this is much better."
She then noticed Duusu longingly staring at the piece of cake.
"Do you want some of it?" Marinette asked.
"Oh yes, yes, yes! Can I?! Please?! I love pistachios and hazelnuts and this smells so good!"
"It tastes even better than it smells," she said and cut off a decently sized chunk for Duusu—about half of the remaining cake. "Sorry, but I don't have a second fork."
"Thank you!" Duusu chirped with a wide grin. "And that's fine, I don't need cutlery."
Marinette had barely blinked before the whole chunk of Duusu's half of the cake was gone in one go. Félix snorted.
"Another glutton."
Duusu turned towards him with a glare. "The Guardian only gave me seeds while I was recovering and I'm still starving from over a century of dormancy!"
"In that case I guess we should give you a piece of Adrien's chocolate cake as well," Marinette suggested and looked at Félix. "He doesn't need the whole half, does he?"
"Well, even if he complains, I can just get new cake tomorrow. Maybe I should order an entire cake for Duusu alone while I'm at it. Any preferences?"
And just like that, Duusu's glare changed into a look of absolute awe.
"And they say Cat Sidhe are heartless," she said with a somewhat dreamy sigh. "You are such a nice, gentlemanly kitten! No wonder Plagg warmed up to you. And my preferences are nuts and seeds, though I won't oppose fruit either!"
Marinette giggled when she saw that Félix actually blushed at the compliments.
"A nice, gentlemanly and sleep-deprived kitten," she added, earning a deadpan-look for herself.
"I'll have you know that I fully intend to sleep through tonight. Knowing that I have potential extra help for Akuma fights and that you have additional protection is already two worries less."
"That's good to hear. What are the other worries? Maybe I can help."
Félix waved it off. "Unless you know how to tame Alya or have an idea how to keep Bri from messing up random things, I don't know how you could help."
"Alya is a tricky case, so just try to keep throwing things at her that interest her but keep her away from the actual danger. Like, a research project about past Miraculous holders or something like that. As for Bri," Marinette paused to hold up the peacock brooch for emphasis. "Well, I have a Miraculous again, so if she needs to know something outside of Akuma attacks that Tikki can't help her with, she can contact me now. Maybe I can coach her with some basic knowledge or something like that so that she's less likely to mess up."
Félix looked at the ceiling with a sigh. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because you're an insomniac," Marinette said without hesitation.
"Yeah, yeah, I get the hint," he said, a small grin on his face once more as he stood up. "I'll see if Plagg is done talking to Adrien and then go home and straight to bed."
"Good!" She gave him an approving nod.
"Do you need anything before I go?"
"No, I'm good. I think I'm going to sleep early too. It's been a very long, shitty day."
Duusu then floated up from where she had rested on the blanket.
"I'll properly say goodbye to both of them and then come back to you, fledgling. Oh, maybe he can give me the piece of cake you promised?"
Duusu looked at Félix pleadingly.
"Then that's apparently my next and hopefully also last order of business for today," he said with a sigh before looking back at Marinette kindly—a so thoroughly non-threatening look that made it hard to remember that he wasn't human. "Good night and sleep well, Marinette."
"Right back at ya," she said, earning a nod. Then he was gone, followed by Duusu.
Marinette looked down at the rest of the piece of cake and the peacock brooch that still lay in the palm of her hand. Maybe today hadn't been entirely shitty after all.
