Steer You in the Right Direction
Once Daryl had calmed Dog down and gotten him back inside the trailer with Carol, Beth explained that she needed to get home and help her brother with an important task. So Daryl hopped onto the motorcycle and took her home. They didn't speak a word past that, even though she was preparing herself for some kind of comment or question. But he didn't seem to have anything to say.
At least, not yet.
The sun was beginning its descent towards the horizon by the time they pulled up to the farmhouse. Beth directed Daryl around to the side of the property, asking him to drop her off by the little white Suzuki mini-truck that they used for tending to the cattle. He did so wordlessly. The rumble of his bike made all the nearby cows scatter away from the gate, mooing loudly the whole time.
She climbed off the back of the motorcycle and slipped her helmet off, handing it over to Daryl and pausing where she stood as he took it.
"Thanks for the ride," she said, speaking up over the roar of the motor. "Text me tomorrow?"
He gave a clipped nod and she turned away, accepting that it was all the response she was going to get. She started walking towards the Suzuki with intent. She was already plotting out the route she was going to take in order to check all the perimeter fences, hoping she could finish with enough time left to start dinner so Maggie wouldn't have to worry about it. And Shawn would probably be back in about an hour, so…
Beth didn't even realize the motorcycle had gone silent until Daryl's voice reached her ears, crisp and clear.
"You want some help?"
She stopped and spun around. He had kicked down the kickstand and was already climbing off the bike, watching her expectantly while he pocketed his keys. He hesitated, ready to turn around and get back on the motorcycle if she declined.
But she was too pleasantly surprised to do such a thing. She paused, glancing around and expecting Merle to pop up at any second. Then a long moment passed with no sign of the dead Dixon. And she realized Daryl was still awaiting her answer.
"You sure?" Beth asked. "Carol was about to start makin' dinner."
Daryl shrugged. "She can wait. 'S just tuna casserole again."
Beth huffed out a soft laugh of disbelief. "So yer not mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at ya?" He grumbled, taking a couple steps closer and eyeballing the Suzuki truck. "We're past it now—yeah? You met Carol, she knows as much as yer sister. Ain't no more secrets. Got no reason ta keep complainin'."
Beth rolled her eyes and turned away to continue walking to the truck. "Sure, whatever."
He grunted but she didn't glance back to acknowledge him. A second later, he was approaching the passenger side of the white mini-truck while she climbed into the driver side and retrieved the keys from the glovebox.
"Where's yer brother?" Daryl asked, lowering himself into the passenger side seat and tucking his long legs beneath the dash.
"Makin' a delivery in town," Beth replied. She started up the engine and shifted into Drive before speeding off towards the dirt road a few yards away.
"And Maggie?"
"Exercising the horses on the other side of the property."
"So what're we doin'?"
The Suzuki rumbled over uneven terrain, jolting them both in their seats. Daryl grasped the handle at the top of the door to steady himself.
"A steer got out," Beth explained. "One of the hands is trackin' it down, but I need ta find the break in the fence before anybody else goes wanderin' off."
"You gonna fix it?" He asked.
"Nah. Just gotta find it. Shawn will fix it."
"Got any tools in this truck?"
"Yeah. Just the basics. A hammer, a few nails, some boards. Prob'ly not enough."
"Might be. I've repaired a few dozen fences before."
Beth scoffed. "I know how to repair a fence."
"Wasn't implyin' you don't," Daryl grunted. "Jus' tryn'a help."
She wasn't sure why, but she suddenly felt very offended. And defensive. She snapped back, "Well I appreciate it, but I don't need your help. The farm is my problem, not yours. You have enough ta worry about."
"Christ," he muttered. "I ain't Merle, you ain't gotta talk to me like that."
Beth snapped her lips shut and immediately felt bad. She knew she shouldn't be lashing out at Daryl like this—it wasn't his fault. But she couldn't help feeling frustrated and a bit overwhelmed. She knew he wasn't trying to underestimate her, or accuse her of being incapable, but between dealing with Shawn and Merle and trying to process all the emotions that came with being Gifted… well, she was about at the end of her rope. Not to mention, he'd been so rude about her meeting his best friend, and though she probably shouldn't take it personally, she was definitely taking it personally.
It kinda friggin' hurt that he could be ashamed of her. Ashamed of what they were experiencing together. Ashamed that they even associated with one another. Did he actually consider her a friend, or was that another pity play? Why else would he be so reluctant about allowing her to meet Carol? He was clearly embarrassed by Beth. By what she could do and how they were involuntarily connected. He felt he had to protect Carol from her… is that what it had come to? Was she a threat to the life he'd worked so hard to build for himself? Was she nothing more than a dark reminder of the person he didn't want to be? The person he'd always been in his brother's presence?
"Sorry," she mumbled shamefully, keeping her eyes straight ahead even as she felt Daryl glancing over at her. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I just kinda feel like—"
But she was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing. She'd switched the ringer back on as soon as they left Carol's house, just in case her brother called with any updates.
She took a sharp right turn and started driving along the edge of the perimeter fence at the side of the road before reaching into her pocket and retrieving her phone. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Shawn. She slid her finger across the green Accept button and tapped the Speaker button so she could focus on driving while holding her phone.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, you back home yet?"
"Just got here, I'm drivin' the perimeter now. What's up?"
Shawn sighed in exasperation. "I thought you said you were on yer way back half an hour ago?"
"I was," Beth said. "It jus' took a little bit to get back. I was clear on the other side of town."
"Dammit, Beth. Hurry up an' find the break 'fore the whole fuckin' herd gets loose, would'ja?!"
She bit her tongue, tensing up and pressing down on the accelerator a little harder than necessary. "I am, don't worry about it. Just hurry up an' finish yer stupid delivery."
Shawn started to argue back but she abruptly ended the call and dropped her phone into the cupholder between the seats. She gripped the steering wheel with both hands and kept her eyes on the fence, searching for signs of damage while she struggled to stifle her frustration.
But Daryl could sense her tension, and of course, he'd heard the tone in her brother's voice from over the phone. He glanced over at her warily, but she tried to ignore him. For the first time all day, she was wishing he'd stayed home.
"What's his problem?"
Beth tensed and shook her head. "Nothing. Just farm stuff."
"I know it gets stressful, but that ain't no reason ta be a dick," Daryl commented. "He seemed pretty cool when I met 'im the other night—he always talk ta you like that?"
"Of course not," she said, furrowing her brow and keeping her eyes set on the fence. "He's just stressed… we all are."
"Still ain't no reason ta be a dick," he mumbled.
She snapped back, "How is it any of your business? That's my brother—you don't even know him."
Daryl shot her a scowl and retorted, "Guess we can relate on that part then."
Beth resisted the urge to roll her eyes and heave a dramatic sigh. Instead, she gritted her teeth and tried to focus on inspecting the fence while she drove along the side of the road.
"That's different," she said. "You can't compare my brother to yours."
"Oh yeah?" Daryl countered. "An' why's that?"
"Because," Beth argued, her voice rising and growing defensive. "My brother works his freaking ass off every single day of the year. He doesn't treat people like shit just for laughs like Merle does. Shawn gets irritating and annoying, but it's always for a good reason—like because he cares. Or because he's worried, or overwhelmed. Or because he does everything he can to keep this farm running an' it's still not enough."
Daryl was rendered silent at that. Beth could see him blinking and frowning in her periphery, giving her an awkward glance before looking away, almost as though he were ashamed to have said anything. She hoped he was—ashamed, that is.
Because how dare he compare Shawn to Merle.
Then he mumbled, "How come?"
She hesitated, unsure of his question. "What d'you mean?"
"How come it's not enough?"
Beth huffed out a humorless laugh, shrugging. "I can't answer that. It just… isn't. We all do what we can, but my dad's gettin' old, and he always kept this place in order. And he can't do that anymore. So it's up to us. And running a whole farm is, like… a lot of work."
"Well no shit," Daryl said. "Isn't that what the farmhands are for?"
Beth scoffed. "Yeah, if only we had enough. We've hired all that we can afford, but the taxes are gettin' expensive and there's only so much you can get done with three hands workin' six—sometimes seven—days a week."
"Y'all only got three hands fer this whole place?" Daryl asked, baffled.
"We had five when I was in high school," she explained. "But that was when Daddy still had his business and Mama was… healthy. And Maggie was still here to help. Otis and his wife were always willin' to work for a little less 'cause we help them out in other ways, and it's helped us a lot the past few years, but now they're out for the next two months or more 'cause of Patricia's back surgery. So we're pretty much up shit creek without a paddle. My dad relies on me an' Shawn to pull most of the weight."
"Barely makin' ends meet since yer mom's medical bills?" Daryl guessed.
"And the funeral costs," Beth confirmed. "My dad tried ta revive his veterinarian business after she died, but there just wasn't any time for it outside of the farm duties. Then his doctor said he was literally workin' himself to death—he just doesn't have the stamina he had ten years ago. He doesn't even have the stamina he had five years ago. He's gettin' really old…"
He's dying, she almost said. But she didn't. Because it wasn't true. No matter what Shawn said. She refused to accept it.
"Maggie took her job in Atlanta an' helped pay off some of the debts. But she couldn't afford to drive back an' forth between here and the city all the time, and we still don't have enough to hire more help. So everything ended up fallin' on Shawn's shoulders. He's been doin' the work of three people fer the last few years."
"Sucks," Daryl said. "But still ain't no excuse ta be takin' it out on you, like you ain't doin' everythin' you can. State of the economy ain't yer fault."
Beth scoffed and shook her head, still refusing to meet Daryl's gaze. "No one said it was. He doesn't get irritated because he blames me. Stop tryin' to make my brother out ta be some kinda villain. He's a saint compared to Merle—hell, he's a saint, period."
"'M not tryin' ta compare nobody," Daryl argued, shifting in his seat and wrapping his hand a little tighter around the 'oh shit' handle when they rumbled over a mound of rocks. "I already know Shawn's a saint, whether we was comparin' him ta Merle or not. Don't need you rubbin' it in my face how much better your brother is than mine."
"You're the one that asked," Beth countered. "Don't get mad at me for statin' facts."
Daryl huffed out a sigh and grumbled something under his breath that she couldn't hear. She gave it a few seconds, expecting him to speak up with something else. Maybe an apology, maybe another argument. But he just turned his head and gazed out the window to inspect the fence.
She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt so angry—probably a combination of all the pent-up emotions that she couldn't express without fear of repercussion. But before she could stop herself, she was speaking sharply, giving an explanation that she knew wasn't necessary. Yet whether she was explaining it to Daryl or to herself, she wasn't totally sure.
"You can think whatever you want about my brother, but you don't know him. He's being an asshole because he's exhausted and overwhelmed. We're comin' off bailing season and I don't think he's slept more than three or four hours a night over the last two weeks. On top of that, he's had to oversee all the harvesting on the vegetables an' make sure everything's winterized. All the fields've been gettin' plowed an' rotated, and he has to make sure it's all done before the first freeze comes. It's gonna be cold before we know it and we can't be caught unprepared, or else the whole place will go under. That's a lot to worry about, especially when yer goin' off basically no sleep. He barely has time to eat. So yeah, if he comes off as kind of a dick right now, it's for good reason." She paused and added, "Not that I owe you an explanation. I just don't want you gettin' the wrong idea about Shawn. He does his best."
Daryl simply grunted, still staring out the window. "So what'cher sayin' is y'all need help."
Beth sighed. "If we could afford it."
"Yeah, I know what it's like ta not be able to afford the help ya need. But—"
"Oh, look!" She cut him off abruptly when her eyes fell upon the open gate up ahead. She was eager for a change of subject anyway. "There it is! No broken fence—just an open gate."
Their conversation was quickly dropped and forgotten as she slammed on the accelerator and sped up to the open gate. She stopped the truck and climbed out while Daryl did the same.
"That's it? One open gate?" He asked. "You sure?"
She stepped forward and inspected the area. He followed, shoving his hands in his pockets and gazing off towards the open field curiously.
"Yeah, this is definitely it," she confirmed. She gestured to her left, pointing off in a vague direction. "'Cause the Morrisons live down that way an' that's who called Shawn ta let him know they saw our steer. Plus, we just reinforced all the fences like, three weeks ago." Then she paused and took a few steps forward into the grass, walking until she could see more of her family's land. "But it's still weird 'cause there's another gate before this one, and both of 'em should've been closed."
"Can ya see it from here?" Daryl asked.
"Hold on," Beth said. She jogged across the grass until she was a couple yards away. Her eyes landed on the inner gate—it was open, too.
What the hell? She thought, jogging the rest of the way to the gate and inspecting the area. Nothing was broken or misplaced. It just looked like someone had carelessly left the gate open. But that didn't make sense, because she'd gone with Shawn to feed the cattle this morning and he always made sure to double-check every single gate before he finished. Ever since the incident when he was ten years old and he'd left a gate open and over a dozen cows had escaped. He was very adamant about never having to go through that again.
She returned to Daryl, breathless and perspiring from her little jog, to find him standing by the outer gate and waiting patiently. She shot him a quizzical frown before shutting the gate tightly and double-checking that it was firmly locked.
"I don't get it," she said. "Both gates were open, but me an' Shawn fed the cattle earlier and I know he shut all the gates. He always does. He's downright anal about it."
Daryl shrugged, following her back to the Suzuki and climbing inside. "Maybe he forgot. Sleep deprivation can really fuck ya up."
Beth shook her head as she started up the truck and gave the gates one last look, pondering the possibilities. "I don't think so. Daddy gave him the whoopin' of his life the last time he left a gate open. Not even exhaustion could make him forget somethin' like that." Then she sighed in resignation and pressed down on the accelerator, whipping the truck around and heading back towards the house. "I dunno. It's weird. Maybe Ernie was out here earlier an' got distracted or somethin'."
"Maybe," Daryl grunted.
They drove silently for a few moments. He gazed out the window and chewed on his thumbnail while she racked her brain for an answer.
Then Daryl asked, "Where's Merle?"
That's a good question, Beth thought. Where is Merle? And where did he go while I was meeting Carol?
She was starting to think she might know how those two gates had been mysteriously left open.
Beth drove them back and left the Suzuki mini-truck in its usual spot before walking Daryl to his bike. He pulled out his keys and climbed on while she stood a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest as she watched him prepare to leave.
"He back yet?" Daryl asked, glancing around.
She shook her head. "No. Not yet."
He hmphed and kicked up the kickstand, sticking his key into the ignition.
"So what's the plan?" She asked. "Fer tomorrow?"
He shrugged, peering at her through a fringe of dark hair. "Figured I'd text ya whenever Rick lets me know what's up."
"So are we takin' the day off?"
"Ain't it The Lord's Day or whatever?"
Beth rolled her eyes, but a smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Yeah, I got church, but that's it."
Daryl shrugged again. "Can't do much till we talk to the judge lady, an' Rick made it sound like we won't be able to meet her till Monday at the earliest. Reckon you need a day off anyhow."
"I guess so," she mumbled.
It would be nice, but she already knew there were no days off when it came to Merle. He would just be pestering her all day, and he'd probably be pissed that she wasn't going out and trying to gather fingerprints or look for hidden clues or something.
"So I'll see ya Monday," the living Dixon said. "Hopefully."
She nodded and smiled meekly. "Yeah. Hopefully." Then he started up the motorcycle and revved the engine, and she spoke up over the loud roar to add, "Drive safe, Daryl."
He gave a nod of reciprocation before lifting both feet and taking off in the opposite direction. A moment later, Beth watched him disappear down the road, nothing but the echo of his bike's engine and a cloud of dust in his wake.
And it was the weirdest thing, but… she was kind of sad that she didn't have a reason to see him tomorrow.
to be continued…
A/N: Happy one year anniversary to this fic! :) Didn't realize it when I posted the last chapter, but it has officially been one year since I started writing and posting this. We're getting close to the conclusion. Hope y'all are still enjoying!
