Rain cascaded outside on the balcony, the moon a faint silver haze peering out from behind a mountain. The sounds from the city below drifted up to the balcony, masked by millions of raindrops, occasionally drowned out by thunder.
Vision closed the curtain to keep the rain out. He carefully kicked the shattered pieces of the sliding glass door safely into the corner, making a mental note to dispose of it tomorrow. He glanced over at her; Wanda was still facing away from him, curled in the same foetal position on the bed.
"...I agree, we don't have to tell your brother about this." Shuri and Okoye's hushed conversation drifted in through the closed door.
"Exactly, the window aside there's no harm done. We'll just let them sleep on it, we can update them on the situation in New York tomorrow..."
Vision stepped softly across the room, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed; thanks to Wanda's energy surge earlier, the chair he had used before was now missing a leg.
"Wanda." He knew she was awake; she had tensed. "Please say something."
"I didn't mean it." She whispered. "I didn't mean to take this all out on you." His hand outstretched for her arm, and she sat up, hugging her knees. A few strands of her hair hung about her face, unable to hide the steady flow of tears. Her jaw trembled, teeth clenched. "Be honest with me."
"Of course..."
"Were you scared?" She whispered.
"Not of you." He remembered a little of the pain. But mostly... he just remembered how relieved he felt. How glad he was, that it was her. For a brief moment, she had given him peace.
"I killed you."
"That was my decision, not yours –"
"I don't understand you." Wanda stared at him, in disbelief. "Why aren't you angry? Or - anything? You've just remembered the worst experience of your life - how are you so calm about this?"
I'm not. He had had a few hours to think about it, to analyse every frame. He could see most of it - but he couldn't hear a lot of it. Maybe not being able to hear it softened the blow. "Answering that won't make you feel better."
Wanda covered her face with her hands. Then what will?
The rain outside softened. Slowly, she felt herself begin to lift out of the catatonic state she had drifted into. "I should have been honest with you in Scotland, but I was afraid you'd run away and I would never see you again. I didn't want to lose you."
"You don't have to explain." Vision's mouth moved to form words, failing a couple of times, before he found the courage. "What happened to you while I was gone?"
The bed seemed to sway beneath her, and suddenly she felt exactly the same as she had earlier, like the blood was being drained from her body. I don't want to talk about it. "Talking about it won't magically make it go away."
Vision covered her hand. She glanced down, watching as her hand turned over, allowing their fingers to interlace. "Please, talk to me. I want to help, but I can't, if you don't let me." Vision's words were like a key turning a lock.
I always do this. I pretend everything's alright - until I self destruct. I can't do that again. That faraway look Vision often had himself drifted across Wanda's face. "First I just felt nothing. Then the darkness came creeping in..."
Those grey days, not seeing sunlight for weeks. Laying on the floor of her bedroom in complete darkness, the door, window, curtains, all closed. Sometimes somebody would knock at her door, her phone would ring, and she would let them go on, ignoring them, the link between her mind and body severed.
"The others would take turns sitting on the other side of my door trying to talk to me. I heard them, and I wanted to open the door... but I was completely shut off. They put so much effort into trying to help me, but they sounded more defeated each time they knocked... "
"Wanda, Sam here... again. I know you don't want to talk right now, I get it - but I made you some tea. I'll leave it here on the floor... just here. Me and Bucky will be in the living room if you need anything."
"Kid, it's Clint, please answer your phone, I'm worrying now. I just want to check in on you."
When the others had finally coaxed her out of her room, Carol was the one who suggested she had a shower. Alone in the bathroom, Wanda would never forget the face staring back at her in the mirror. Her hair was almost wet with grease, the ginger faded and tangled. Her skin was grey, her lips had cracked in the centre, forming a seam congealed with blood - and her eyes were lifeless. This had been her first step, a realisation that something had to change. But dealing with her physical state was easy - healing the inside was a lot harder.
"I was a mess. I was just in this dark, endless loop... it took me so long to get out, but sometimes I have days where I slip back..." She trailed away, fighting tears. "I spent so long convinced that it was all my fault. That little voice kept tormenting me for it, telling me I could have just focused on killing Thanos, maybe I could have prevented all of this. Maybe Nat and Steve would still be here and Morgan would still have her dad... I just kept thinking of what could have been. Impossible things, I know... but it's nice to dream."
Wanda's eyes had gone almost black. "I didn't want much - all I wanted was someone with me. Someone I could trust and call my friend... and then you were gone."
Wanda felt a wave wash over her, like the infection had been cleared out of a wound. Vision was quiet for a few long moments; his grip on her hand then tightened as he gently squeezed it. "I'm still here." He said, softly. "I know I'm not the same..."
It's true... Wanda looked up at him, and he blurred a little as tears filled her gaze. "You're not the same. But you're enough. You were always enough." She hugged him, her fingers interlaced around his spine, and he held her, almost like the way he used to.
"I will remember, I promise. And you'll get through this."
"Don't make promises you can't -"
"I will keep this one." Vision pulled away, his thumb delicately sweeping away the tears, his fingertips lightly gliding across her face.
What's happening... She was still holding onto his upper arms. They were close. Irresistibly close. Wanda studied his strange irises, heart melting again, the way it used to. No matter how angry she had been at him an hour ago... she still loved him. Stop it, she reminded herself. He's not yours anymore. She let go of him and his hand quickly fell away from her face.
"What are we going to do about Josephine?"
"We'll talk about that tomorrow. You should get some rest..." Vision moved to stand.
"Can you stay?" Wanda asked, voice soft as sleep began to take over; her insomnia seemed to be absent tonight. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I just don't want to be alone."
Vision blinked at her, his heart briefly leaping upwards before it sank back down. He didn't know why, but the idea of sleeping next to her was irresistible... "As long as you're comfortable... have we slept together before?"
"What?" The bed, Wanda, he means sleeping in the same bed - "Oh - right. Yes, our hotels would sometimes run out of single beds..." Vision was definitely questioning the logic behind this, but he didn't question it further, getting back into the bed. Wanda grabbed a spare pillow and put it between them, hoping it would make him feel more comfortable.
"Thank you, Vizh. You saved my life... not just today." They looked at each other once more, a connection of blue gears and green irises. Wanda rolled away from him, closing her eyes.
"Good night, Vizh."
"Good night, Wanda."
