A/N – Thanks for the comments! ghfan51184 – I think it's harder on the show because of Jake's age. This story is easier with Jake being older when all of it went down. He didn't warm to Jason right away at all unlike the perfect Danny. Jake's story became Franco's story like everything else Webber related, so, unfortunately, they didn't deal with it adequately and chose to use Jake for part of Franco's redemption. Did they redeem Liz on the show? Really? Cause her being with Franco is not redeeming her imo. It's destroying her further. I'm not watching, so let me know what they did because being sorry like she always is after she does something is not redemption to me. Thanks. Most characters don't get redemption stories. Usually, time just passes, and people just get over it…or not. lol
Chapter 47
Jake moved into the doctor's office.
"Jake, have a seat."
He sat and then eyed his doctor. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. What happened after you left?" He has to make sure that Jake didn't try to hurt himself.
"I went for a ride and then ended up back at my girlfriend's house." A slight smile edged onto his face.
"What was that for?"
"We went a little further this time and it was great."
"You do know about safe sex, right?"
Jake groaned. He had admitted to the doctor that he was a virgin the week before. "Yes."
"Good. Now, I know our last session disturbed you. Talk to me."
"It was just too real, and she was commanding me to hurt someone."
"Who?"
A flash went through his head. "My mom."
"Do you believe anything Helena told you about your mother?"
"It's complicated."
"I have time."
Jake sghed. "My mom has made mistakes with men. I think it had more of an effect on Aidan and Cam because I was mostly around Lucky."
"Are you mad at your mom?"
"Yes and no. I mean, it's hard admitting she isn't perfect when she was all I had."
"I understand."
"Her choices did hurt us to an extent, but it's not like they ruined us. It's hard knowing that so many people have hurt her."
"And your dad? He has his faults too. He made decisions that are hard to fathom. Maybe I'm a little easier on him because of all he has lost and I've built him up so much in my head. He may not have been there, but he didn't hurt me. Lucky did damage by abandoning my brothers."
"And you don't think that your dad abandoned you?"
"He did, but it was to protect me. Lucky left to go find himself and never came back. That did more damage. My dad and mom thought they were doing the best by us to be separate, but in a way, that separation inflicted the most damage. Things may have been different if they had gone for it. So, yes, I am mad at them, but I kind of bury it because I don't want to be in that space. I just want to love them. There has already been so much wasted time."
"Jake, I want to bring your parents here. They need to understand where you are coming from."
Jake groaned.
"It will be a good thing, but you have to agree to be honest even if it hurts."
"Okay."
The doctor buzzed his secretary and asked her to get the couple. A minute later, the door opened, and he directed them to a small couch.
"Jake must be completely honest with himself and you if he's going to be able to move on and not hold back, so I need him to tell you how he feels about your choices and how it affected him."
Liz had wondered if her son was holding back. It had been rough after they had moved here because once again, they were thrown into turmoil over her choices.
"Go on, Jake. Start with your mom."
Jake choked back a sob. "I don't want to hurt you."
Her eyes pricked with tears. "I can take it because I know that you love me. Say what you need to say, Jake. It may hurt, but I will be fine. I promise."
Jake wiped a tear away. "The doctor asked me if I hate you. One of the memories I had the last session was Helena giving me commands to hurt you. She wanted me to hate you. Every time you did something that she deemed wrong, she would throw it in my face, so I knew about more than I should."
Jason gripped Liz's hand.
"I was upset, and she tried to use that anger to control my thoughts toward you. When I came back, it was hard because I couldn't tell you that I knew everything or confront you. I just shoved my feelings down and when the secret about Drew broke, I was disappointed because he was nice to us and stable. I didn't think he would leave and then he did."
"Because of me…"
Jake nodded. "I was a bit distant when we first got to Sicily because I was mad but didn't want to admit it. I refused therapy partly because thinking about my time with Helena was not something I wanted to do, and I have to admit, you wanted it, so I rebelled against it and decided to take control in my way."
"I'm sorry that you felt that way. I have made a lot of mistakes and I know that it badly affected my children. I can't go back and fix them, but I hope that I have proved that I would put you first since we've been here."
"You have. I'm not mad at you anymore. Even if you and dad don't get back together, I still won't hate you. I know you love us and that something inside you was broken that made you make the decisions you did. Now, I just need to fix what is broken within me."
"You will. Can I hug you?"
Jake stood and Liz held him tightly as they cried.
After she returned to her seat, Jake focused on his father.
"I never wanted to think about you and the word abandoned together, but in the end, that's what you did."
"You're right. No matter what we felt we were doing to protect you, it still adversely affected you and I'm sorry about that."
"I couldn't bear to hate you because, in my mind, I made excuses. I blamed your brain damage or other people. I'm mad that you left me. If you and mom had made the choice to be together, maybe Cam and Aidan wouldn't have been hurt and Aidan would have been yours. You say you decided to protect me, but I don't entirely believe that. I think you did it to protect yourselves. It was selfish."
"I'm sorry. I think it was a little of both. I was scared to trust the relationship and to believe that I could protect you when I couldn't even protect Sonny's kids. I knew there would be a chance that you would hate me, but I figured at least you'd be alive."
Jake wiped his face. "I'm scared you're going to leave again; that I won't be enough."
A tear fell down Jason's cheek. That statement hurt more than anything else he said.
"It was never about that. God, I wanted you so badly. Every time I saw you and your mom, it was like a knife in my heart that I thought I deserved. I can't explain how my brain processes everything, but I honestly felt that I wasn't good enough to do anything else; that I was stuck in the business and giving up the family I wanted was my punishment. You were so beautiful and perfect, and I didn't deserve that. I still don't, but I don't care because the only thing that will ever keep me away from you is death. I gave up too much. I know that now. I see the pain my choices caused and if I could go back and do things differently, I would. I'm not a regretful person, but I do regret not marrying your mother and leaving my family out of fear whether real or imagined." He put his head in his hands, embarrassed by the tears and distraught that he is causing Jake to hurt because of his choices.
Jake got up and hugged his father. "I forgive both of you. The memories are just haunting me right now, but I love you. Please don't ever forget that."
Jason gripped him. "I love you more than my own life, Jake."
Liz grabbed some tissues and handed them out.
Jake returned to his seat. "Thanks for listening and telling me how you feel."
"I want you to feel like you can tell us anything."
"Thanks, mom."
Dr. Messina smiled. "This is good. Jake needs to believe in his foundation of support. It will become even more important as we pull back the layers."
"What's next?" Liz asked.
"We will be tackling the brainwashing that Helena attempted over time."
"Do you think that he could hurt someone?" Jason asked.
"I don't think she was completely successful, but judging by Jake's last reaction, she did some damage. It's up to me to help him figure out just how much." He stood. "Thank you for coming. Give us a few more minutes and he'll be right out."
Jason shook his hand and they left.
"How do you feel?"
"Lighter…"
"That's good. You needed to get it out. Next time, I'm going to teach you how we can slowly change your reactions when you think of Helena."
"Okay."
They talked for a few more minutes and then Jake found his parents and they went home.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
Elizabeth moved closer to the bench where Jake is sitting as he stared at the lake.
"Room for one more?"
He slightly turned his head and then patted the spot next to him.
"It's a beautiful day."
"Yeah."
She grabbed his hands and perused it before holding it. He has his father's hands, but they are less worn.
"I know this isn't the kind of conversation you want to have with your mom."
Jake groaned. "Please tell me this isn't about sex."
Liz made a face. "I just—I don't want you to rush into anything, especially when you're emotionally distraught."
"We're not. We haven't gone all the way."
That made her feel a little better.
"I'm not a prude, but maybe in my heart, you'll always be that little boy and you were so cute that I never wanted you to grow up."
He slightly smiled. "You just liked it because I was such a mama's boy."
She chuckled. "I'm not going to lie, you always made me feel like I had accomplished something good; all of you make me feel that way."
"I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't. I know what it's like to have someone do something to you that changes everything and tears apart your insides until you don't think you'll ever be you again."
He grips her hand tighter.
"I can't ever go back to who I was before in total, but I'm more at peace with who I am now and realize that I let it define my choices and who I became. If I think about it, the girl I was before was a reaction to my family abandoning me, so maybe she was what I thought I needed to be to survive. Now, I'm finally settling into who I am warts and all and just being. You'll get there. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you have a good support system."
"You didn't."
"I had Lucky who was ill-equipped to deal with it, but he tried, and he ended up helping me fight the demons in my head and learn I was lovable. We've had our problems, but I'm thankful I had someone and that he wouldn't give up. I also realize that things might have gone differently if I had gotten the proper help and had gone to therapy. I was so young and so was he."
"He made it worse."
"I guess you could look at it that way, but you could also conclude that things could have been even worse without him. My thoughts weren't good, Jake. Left to my own devices, I'm not sure what would have happened. Anyway, I'm thankful that you have more people around you that love you and will help you. This is probably the hardest fight you'll ever have. Let us be there for you."
A tear escaped as he stared at his mom. "You've been through so much. I'm sorry that he hurt you so badly."
She wiped the tears away. "And look at me now. He didn't win and Helena doesn't have to either."
They embraced and then Liz slightly retreated. "I love you so much. A piece of me died when I thought I had lost you forever. You can do this, Jake. You come from a strong and very stubborn lineage."
Jake slightly smiled. "I'm going to try hard to get over what she did to me."
"Good."
They watched the lake for a while, both filled with hope that everything will work out.
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
Later that evening, there was a knock on the door and Maximus moved inside.
"What's wrong?"
"Michael is at the main house."
Jason stood. "Why?"
"He's upset and I wasn't sure if I should bring him with me."
"It's fine."
Maximus made a call to Max. "Bring him by." He fixed his attention on Jason. "Carly dying after he already lost his father is wrecking him. He has dark circles under his eyes, so he's probably not sleeping. Be careful because you could set him off. I'm not getting a good feeling about this."
"I'll handle it."
Jake is listening from the kitchen. He doesn't know Michael very well and what he does know, he doesn't like. There is no way he wants to leave him alone with his father.
"You can't shoot him," Maximus said eyeing him.
Jake smirked. "He wasn't on your original list."
"I revised it. Maybe you should come with me."
"No way. I'm right where I need to be."
Liz sighed. "Jake, let your father handle Michael."
Jake stared at his father. "If he tries to hurt you, I'm sorry, but all bets are off."
"Just stay at the top of the stairs," Jason said. He doesn't want Jake to get involved.
There is a knock on the door, so Liz grabs her son's hand and leads him upstairs.
Maximus opens the door. "Come in." He leaves as Michael makes his way into the house.
Jason is surprised by his disheveled appearance. "Michael, you should have told me you were coming. I would have picked you up."
Michael slowly moved toward him. "Are you even sorry that she's gone?"
"I'm sorry that you lost your parents."
"What did she do?"
"You came all this way to ask that?"
"I need to know. Please…"
He motioned for Michael to sit.
"Elizabeth had to leave town because your mother told your father to get rid of her."
"What?"
"Sonny agreed because he felt he couldn't control me when she was around. At first, they were just going to take Jake from her and make her disappear, but when Drew became so fixated on finding her and despondent, he wanted her dead."
Michael can't even comprehend it. "You killed him, didn't you?"
"Your father died in a plane crash."
"She wasn't lying about the finger and stuff, was she?"
Liz gripped Jake's hand as Michael's voice rose.
"Michael…"
"You wanted to punish them because they wanted to kill her, didn't you?"
Tears are streaming down his face as it contorts.
Jason stood. "I stopped talking to your mother because of what she did, Michael. I let her go."
He rose and got in his uncle's face. "I know you did this to her! You probably killed my dad too. I have no one. I hate you!"
Jason sucked in a breath and then Michael surprised him and shoved him, and his hand hit the lamp and that was all it took for Jake to run down the stairs and get between them.
"Back off!" Jake yelled. "How can you stand there and be mad at him when your parents wanted to kill my mom! Given the chance, I would have taken them both out."
Michael growled and took a swing and Jake knocked him on his ass.
"Stop!" Jason said.
Liz rushed forward. "Oh, Michael."
He whimpered and Liz dropped to her knees and hugged him as the younger man sobbed.
"I have no one."
"You have us," Liz said. "We're not going to abandon you."
"You have me too," Drew said entering the house. "What happened?"
"I hit him," Jake said before sitting in a chair.
