Author's Note: This story follows the events of "The Ghost" – Whumptober day 18. In that story, Tony was haunted, nearly drowned, and beaten senseless by an invisible being who turned out to be Loki.
The Avengers Whump and Bromance Anthology
The Worst Nightmares Don't Happen at Night
Whumptober 2020
PenPatronus
2:00AM was interrupted by screams so loud that Steve, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha all left their bedrooms at a sprint and got to Tony's door in seconds (two of them brandishing weapons). Steve knocked on the door and called Tony's name and when Stark didn't respond, he ordered JARVIS to open it. The AI obeyed after Steve provided a password, and the Avengers crowded in. Tony, dressed in sweatpants and a black t-shirt, was on his feet and pacing. Sweat on his skin glimmered in the soft light from the lamp on his bedside table. He looked dazed and disoriented, like he was still coming out of the nightmare his screams had woken him from. When Tony saw his teammates, he pointed an accusing forefinger and shouted, half gasping for air, "You! You didn't believe me! You didn't trust me! Something's following me, I said. Something's touching me – SOMETHING'S DROWNING ME – and you didn't believe me!"
Steve sighed, "Tony…"
"No, no, no. How the hell are we supposed to be a team when you people don't trust me? I do EVERYTHING for you! I house you, I feed you, I supply you with tech I stay up for days building!" Tony stomped up to Steve and poked him in the chest. "If you'd trusted me, protected me, gave a single shit about me, then I wouldn't have this!" Tony shouted, pointing at his black eye. "But you don't, do you! You don't give a shit about what Loki did to me today! You don't care about any of my trauma – did you know I was waterboarded? Did you know I was operated on without anesthesia? My surrogate uncle betrayed me! My dad's partner's son terrorized me! I watched Pepper fall a hundred feet into fire! I've saved the city and the president and the world and you don't trust me when I say I hear footsteps? You all think I'm literally made of iron—"
Steve suddenly stepped forward and wrapped Tony in the tightest, fiercest, warmest of hugs. Tony tried to push him away, but his strength was no match for the super soldier's. Steve held on tight until Tony relented, and hugged him back. The others returned to their bedrooms, content knowing that Tony was in good hands.
Steve gently walked Tony backward until the backs of his knees hit the bed, and he sat down on the edge of it. Steve knelt in front of him, hands on Tony's knees, eyes fixed on his. "You're right," he whispered gently. "I'm sorry."
Tony sniffed. He wiped his nose and eyes with his shirt sleeve and forearm. Deep breaths finally calmed him down. He stared at the floor. "It's all right."
"No," Steve corrected, "it's not. You're suffering. You've been suffering for a long time. And I should have protected you from Loki."
"It's not your job to protect me. I can take care of myself…"
Steve tapped Tony's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes again. "We're a team. We protect each other. And I'm sorry I failed you."
Tony gulped. He fought back tears, but one slipped through. Embarrassed, he brushed it aside and took a deep breath. He noticed, then, that his clothes were soaked in sweat. He peeled his t-shirt off while Steve got him fresh clothes from his closet. Cap went into the bathroom and wetted down a hand towel and when he returned, Tony had changed into his new clothes. Steve sat on the side of the bed, facing Tony, and gently wiped the towel across his friend's damp forehead. He wiped down Tony's hair (rearranging it after he finished), then his neck and collarbone, and then handed the towel to Tony so that he could do the rest.
"Your nightmare… Do you want to tell me what it was about?"
Tony snorted. "I don't remember it."
"You don't have to tell me, but don't lie."
Tony sighed. He interlaced his fingers and leaned forward on his thighs. "It's the same one every night. But with everything that happened with Loki yesterday… It was worse. It felt worse."
"What do you feel?"
Tony winced. "Pain. Loneliness. Fear. Failure."
"What do you see?"
"The wormhole," Tony said quietly. "Except there's something else in it. There's this giant hand – but not a human hand. It's covered in gold metal so it's, like – like a gauntlet, not just a hand. And it reaches through the wormhole and just starts plucking people out of my life… Pepper, Happy, Rhodey. They're screaming my name, crying, and I can't get to them no matter how far and fast I fly. You, Bruce, Clint… One after the other, the golden hand takes you away from me… And it's… Unbearable."
"I'm sorry. That sounds awful. Is it Loki's hand?"
Tony thought about it. "You know how you kinda know things in dreams, but can't actually explain how you know them? It wasn't Loki. It was… Someone else. Someone worse."
Steve put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Maybe you should take a day off. Don't go with us tomorrow to that HYDRA base.
"No." Tony shook his head vehemently. "If I don't throw myself into work then I'll just sit on the couch watching the news all day and drinking myself to death."
Steve watched as Tony squirmed where he sat. He popped his knuckles and fisted his sweatpants and rubbed his arms. "Tony. I want to help you. Tell me how I can help you."
"I don't… I don't know. Can – Can I let you know?"
"Of course." Steve thought for a minute. "I do, you know."
"Do what?"
"Give a shit about you," said Steve. "And not because you fill the fridge and saved the world."
"Then why?"
Steve pointed at Tony's heart.
"Oh."
"Lie down, Tony." Stark obeyed. He rolled backwards into the mattress and didn't move when Steve covered him with blankets. "JARVIS?"
"Yes, Captain Rogers?"
"Wake me up when Tony wakes up, will you?"
"Of course, Sir," the AI replied.
Tony pointed at Steve's heart. "You, too," he said, almost silently.
Steve nodded. "Get some sleep, Tony. Get some rest."
The End
