Chapter 85.
"That was the world's most expensive fart."
Gordon shrugged and propped his feet on the dashboard of FAB 1, a Celery Crunch bar lodged in his mouth, "I don't do things by halves, bro."
John simmered and tightened his grip on the steering wheel, "Two thousand dollars for a fart. You could have at least forced a kidney out. The whole trip might have actually been worthwhile then."
An empty wrapper was casually tossed into the footwell, "Wind is not to be trifled with, dear brother. One misfire when old Scotty launches and Tracy Island could go up in flames."
John made a mental note to keep Gordon away from the space elevator's boosters.
"Mr Speedy may like to think he wields all the power," Gordon ploughed on, fiddling with the seat heater dial, "But I'm the one who's really in charge. One cheese sandwich and I could bring the Hood to his knees. Give me a truckle of stilton and I could probably take over the GDF."
Two minutes of silence ensued as both brothers mulled over this horrifying concept.
"Sheesh, turn that thing off!" John quacked, motioning vaguely in the direction of the seat heater dial Gordon was twiddling, "My buttocks are cooking!"
The aquanaut giggled quietly to himself as he turned the temperature down, his offer of applying aloe vera gel to his brother's scorched behind being met with a sideways whack to the head.
"Hey, watch the hair!" Gordon squeaked, ducking to avoid his brother's swipes, "If my existence offends you that much, I'll get out and walk."
"Too late, we're here," John grouched, swinging FAB 1 onto the driveway of Kayo's government friend, "And not a minute too soon. One more bout of intestinal gas from you and I'd have driven us off the nearest cliff."
A dramatic sigh filtered across the roof of the pink Rolls Royce as Gordon heaved himself out, "Poke fun all you want bro. I know I smell good when I'm not in the middle of a dairy duel. Just for the record, the ice cream came onto me, okay?"
John grunted in surrender, his attention focussed on locking FAB 1. He couldn't remember why on earth he'd allowed himself to admit to missing the blond headache who was known by law as Gordon Cooper Tracy.
"Hey, bro?"
The redhead felt his temper twitch as he pivoted to face the aquanaut, "What now, Gordon?"
A pair of caramel eyes sparkled at him.
"I've missed you too."
-x-
The party was in full swing by the time John and Gordon made it back up to the terrace. Any traces of Havoc and Fuse's gate-crashing had been neatly tidied away and the entire patio re-transformed into a magical wonderland of fairy lights, candles and lively music.
"Whoa," Gordon gasped, the twinkling lights reflecting off his irises, "Lady P really outdid herself this time. I hardly recognise the place!"
"Hey, guys!" a blond bullet darted through the throngs of people milling around, "You're back! What was the doctor's verdict, Gordo?"
The aquanaut shrugged and helped himself to a passing glass of lemonade, "Nothing fancy. I succumbed to an impromptu ice cream craving and then gassed poor Johnny on the car ride back."
"He's not lying," John added, tossing FAB 1's keys to a relieved looking Parker and scowling at Alan's snorts of laughter, "I think I've gone blind in my left eye."
Alan sucked in a breath in an effort to stabilise his humour, "Ah well, at least you guys made it back in time for the food. Parker and Rigby just finished setting up and it looks incredible."
A whoosh of air and Gordon was fighting Rigby for the plate of smoked salmon blinis he was trying to squeeze onto the overpacked buffet table.
"Oh, and John, someone was asking after you earlier," Alan divulged with a sly smile, "I told her that you were running a bit late, but she said she was happy to wait."
John didn't have to ask who, but did anyway.
The cheeky grin spreading across Alan's face was both unneeded and unwelcome, "Ridley O'Bannon, duh."
A shiver of dread rolled down John's spine. He had enough respect for O'Bannon to fill Tracy Island's larder ten times over, and previous circumstances had seen him risk both his life and his Thunderbird to save her and Global One. He thoroughly enjoyed their weekly handball sessions and would quite happily (albeit privately) admit that she was the closest female friend he had, alongside Kayo and Penelope. What complicated their friendship was the lack of a relationship O'Bannon had with any of his brothers. She'd met Alan, but that particular introduction had been cut short by Eden going boom.
Facts were facts. Unlike Kayo and Penelope, O'Bannon wasn't a family-wide friend. Her connection to International Rescue was exclusively through John and she had shown no interest in extending her knowledge of the Tracy clan beyond him.
John had spent all his life watching Scott and Virgil get all the girls. If they weren't attracted to Scott's rakishly handsome features and authoritarian attitude, they gravitated towards the chiselled jaw and gentler nature of Virgil and vice versa. Long gone were John's days of idolising the charisma and charm both his older brothers oozed. That childhood reverence had been firmly stamped out, replaced instead with bitterness and envy over his own social clumsiness.
Someone pinched his shoulder. Glancing down, John saw his youngest brother jerking his head towards an elegantly dressed and rapidly approaching Ridley O'Bannon.
The redhead made a comical noise that sounded halfway between a gasp and a hiccup, "I'mjustgunnagoandgrabadrink."
The youngest Tracy could only sigh as his older brother clamped his tail between his legs and hauled ass for all he was worth in the opposing direction to his inbound admirer.
O'Bannon snorted with laughter as she closed the final few feet between her and Alan, "Still playing the chicken, is he? You know, he's a lot more confident in zero-g…"
Ten minutes later…
Parker blinked at the line of knotted curtains he could see billowing out of the open bathroom window. A silver brow arched when he spied a redheaded Tracy swinging himself to the ground like an intoxicated Tarzan.
No doubt Scott would be getting a bill from a thoroughly confused upholsterer.
John, meanwhile, was finally free as a bird.
-x-
Three hours later, and the party was finally starting to wind down.
Alan was quite content to admit that he was exhausted. It had been a long day; Celery getting attacked and ending up at the vets, winning the polo match, pursuing Havoc, and the supermarket fiasco had all occurred over the last eighteen hours.
And poor Alan was paying the price more than his brothers.
"Here, drink this," Gordon instructed, returning from his fourth trip to the buffet table with two glasses of something cloudy, "It'll perk you right back up again."
Previous experience had taught Alan that accepting any kind of drink from Gordon was a bad idea, but the fog of fatigue had dulled the reasoning part of his brain and he was pretty thirsty.
"Mmmm, that's really good," Alan murmured, eyeing the little pink umbrella and chunk of pineapple sticking out the top of his glass approvingly, "Some kind of fruit juice?"
"Eh, kind of," Gordon replied, taking two long slugs of his own cloudy concoction, "Drink it all up while it's nice and cold."
The youngest Tracy did as instructed, humming in appreciation as the cool liquid refreshed his senses. A new glass promptly took the place of the one he was (rather quickly) managing to chug his way through.
"Keep going," Gordon directed, gnawing on his piece of pineapple, "The more you have, the better life gets."
"What's this called?" Alan asked, crunching absently on an ice cube, "Is it made from mangoes?"
Gordon shook his head and polished off his pineapple, "Pina colada, lil' bro. The only drink a blond needs in their life. Keep going, I swear it gets better."
At the mercy of his taste buds, Alan followed the aquanaut's orders. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, and Gordon was his older brother…
About half an hour later, the DJ suddenly announced that the time had come to 'slow things down'. Even in their inebriated states, the youngest Tracys knew what that meant.
Instinctively, the remaining people on the dancefloor began milling around in search of partners, a sense of urgency engulfing the ones whose cohorts were either absent, drunk, or had paired up with someone else.
Good thing O'Bannon had left.
Much to everyone's relief, Scott and Kayo quickly teamed up. Alan wasn't sure how much more cat-and-mouse his little heart could take. He was happy that his eldest brother was finally making a move on the girl he so obviously liked, but a little wounded that the girl in question was also the one he happened to like.
Gordon, meanwhile, was glaring at the dancefloor as if it had come to life and insulted his prized head of hair.
A quick glance revealed why.
Virgil. And Penelope. Slow dancing.
Together.
"Oh shit."
