Chapter 86.

Like Sally, Penelope had a favourite Tracy.

Unlike Sally however, the blond woman's preferences were influenced by day of the week, time of the month, Jupiter's alignment with Mars and the pollen forecast.

Scott was a solid favourite when she wanted something done, but Virgil was a safer bet if she was feeling clingy. John was perfect on days when she felt dominated by introversion, however paled next to Gordon if it was a good belly laugh she was after. If it was unbridled enthusiasm she was looking for, then Alan was top of the list.

Penelope was well aware of Gordon's crush on her, and was quite happy to admit that she in turn had a soft spot for him. She could definitely see a lot of potential in the aquanaut, and found him appealing (both physically and emotionally) in a way that was different to his brothers. Maybe it was his permanent smile, his natural affinity for bad jokes, or his amazingly arms…

Unfortunately for Gordon, ragweed pollen levels were low in Buenos Aires and Jupiter wasn't set to align with Mars for another eight and a half years, hence her decision to select Virgil as a dance partner over him.

Okay, that was a slight exaggeration. She'd originally tried to seek Gordon out, but had seen that he was busy with Alan, so had opted for Virgil instead. The poor engineer had experienced a lot of emotional exploitation over the course of the evening; he'd been used by Kayo as jealousy bait for Scott, groped by Havoc and then dropped by Kayo after she and Scott had reached an (unofficial) truce.

The CCTV images didn't lie. Virgil Tracy was long overdue some attention, and in the absence of Gordon, Penelope was more than happy to give it to him.

Ever the gracious gentleman, Virgil had accepted her offer to dance on the spot.

Of course, all Gordon saw was the woman he liked dancing with the brother (and now ex-wingman) he used to like.

There was an ugly familiarity to the whole situation. Gordon knew Kayo and Penelope got great satisfaction from walking all over him and his brothers, however couldn't help but notice that both women appeared to be 'doing the rounds' a little bit. Kayo had gone on dates with all five of them, then asked Virgil to be her date for the evening, all while harbouring a not so secret crush on Scott.

Penelope was much more discreet with her affections, however had still managed to accrue a fair bit of Tracy mileage. She'd asked Scott to be her date for the evening, was now dancing with Virgil, had attended her disastrous charity auction event with John and had kissed Gordon. If the luck of his brothers was anything to go by, Alan's prospects appeared promising.

Meanwhile…

"This sucks," Alan grouched, hiccupping as he finished his third pina colada, "Why do we have to sit over here like the uncool kids while they get to have all the fun?"

Gordon didn't answer, his attention focussed on making sure Virgil's hands didn't travel too far south. Sober Gordon knew the engineer was far too much of a gentleman to do such a crude thing, however drunk Gordon regarded his artist brother as the biggest threat in the room.

Before the aquanaut could devise a suitable plan to oust his supposed 'challenger', a familiar voice piped up over the comms.

"Hey guys!" John greeted, his tone lighter and happier than it had been in months, "How are things planetside?"

Alan frowned and chewed on his straw, "Johnny? Are you saying that you're not planetside? Where are you?"

"Back up in Five," the redhead replied, the smile in his voice evident, "I just nipped up to do a quick systems check. Everything looks to be in working order, so I should be back down again in an hour or so."

"An hour?" Gordon's expression was alarmingly similar to that of Grandma when she discovered an empty toilet roll holder, "I thought you said you were going to fuse yourself to the floor of the gravity ring as soon as you got back up there?"

"Someone needs to fetch Celery in the morning," John retorted, his voice laced with irritation, "You'll all be hungover and sleep-deprived, so I figured I'd just come back down and grab her before we're billed for another day of board at the kennels. They should release her to me if I provide evidence that I live at the same address as you. I'm in orbit above you right now actually, so you might see me if you look up."

Both Gordon and Alan craned their necks to peer up at the clear, star-studded sky. A couple of shooting stars caught Alan's attention enough for him to enthusiastically point them out.

"Sorry, that's me ejecting Grandma's cooking out the hatch," the redhead apologised, ignoring Gordon's snort of laughter, "I usually fire whatever she sends me into the sun, but EOS wanted to time how long the latest batch of meatloaf surprise would take to burn up on atmospheric re-entry. She was convinced it was starting to gain sentience and felt threatened."

"Speaking of feeling threatened," Alan muttered, inclining his head while giving Gordon the side eye, "What's the matter, fishboy? You jealous?"

The aquanaut scoffed in dismissal, but seemed unable to tear his eyes away from the gently swaying forms of Scayo and Virnelope. Fortunately for Gordon, drunk Alan was charitable Alan.

"Want me to call Havoc?" the youngest asked, utterly blasé to the bleeding heart inside his brother's chest and his own callousness, "I'm sure she'd be up for a dance, so long as you paid her in spit."

For a second, it looked as if Gordon might forgo replying…

…for a second.

"This sucks worse than a squid's testicles."

-x-

Forty minutes and two more pina coladas later, and things weren't looking up for the Terrible Two.

John had signed off after declaring that he'd have better luck holding an intelligent conversation with the bagel machine aboard Thunderbird Five. Deprived of their redheaded brother's sober input, Gordon and Alan had been forced to watch their eldest brothers indulge in slow dance after slow dance with the two women they liked.

Gordon, though not paralytically drunk, was having a hard time stifling the tipsy hiccups that had begun forcing their way out, while poor Alan looked torn between laughing and crying.

All was going (reasonably) well, until Kayo parked a kiss on Scott's cheek. Within the confines of Gordon's alcohol-addled brain, Penelope and Virgil were surely next.

Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward. Her royal ladyshipness. The women he liked.

And Celery Crunch Bars be damned if he was going to let that happen.

"Screw this. Screw everything."

Alan barely had time to process what was happening before Gordon hooked a hand under his bicep, yanked him to his feet and dragged him out onto the dancefloor like an owner bullying a reluctant dog into a walk.

"Wassgoin' on?" Alan mumbled, raising a hand to his mouth when a brief bout of nausea hit, "Gordo? What are we doing?"

The aquanaut didn't answer straight away, his attention focussed on locating a suitable spot on the dancefloor that was equidistance between Scott and Virgil. Once satisfied that he had an uninterrupted view of both parties, Gordon snaked an arm around Alan's waist and yanked him closer, "Dance with me, lil' bro."

Alan blinked. He was no authority on dancing (as John would happily attest to), however had a decent sense of rhythm and secretly loved watching the musicals in the old black and white movies Virgil sometimes dug out. Plus, he was feeling more than a little resentful towards his eldest brother. Did his feelings simply not matter to Scott anymore, or was he too busy drowning in the green depths of Kayo's eyes to notice the emotional fragility of his youngest brother?

Kayo parking yet another kiss on Scott's cheek (this time in Alan's sightline) was the final nail in the red coffin. With a heroic salute, the youngest Tracy unclipped the leash on his rum-induced carefree machoism and seized Gordon's outstretched hand, wordlessly accepting his brother's invitation.

In perfect unison, the blond Tracy duo proceeded to tango and waltz every other couple within a ten foot radius to shame, including their traitorous older brothers. A few eyebrows quirked at the sight of the two brothers spinning each other across the dancefloor; Alan in particular was blissfully unaware of the attention he and Gordon were attracting, choosing instead to lose himself in a dramatic dip that wouldn't have looked out of place in a figure skating competition.

High on pineapple juice, coconut cream and rum, the pilots of Thunderbirds Three and Four were oblivious to the uncomfortable stares being shared between Scott and Virgil as they danced around each other to their heart's content.

Kayo and Penelope shared a look of similar unease as Gordon once again swept Alan into a dip. Kayo in particular had seen this kind of behaviour in the Terrible Two before (albeit with sugar as the culprit instead of alcohol). Years of experience silently warned her that this impromptu ballroom dancing display could only end one way: badly.

As usual, she wasn't wrong.

After nearly barrelling into Grandma and Kip in what could only be described as a fairly advanced state of inebriation, Gordon seized Alan by his shirt collar and yanked his younger brother in for a quick bit of lip action, realising half a second too late that the blond head in front of him didn't belong to Penelope.

Thankfully, his aim was off and he ended up pecking the youngest on the nose instead.

Virgil reacted with barely concealed horror, while Scott looked as if he'd just witnessed an execution.

"WHOA, I DON'T THINK SO!" the eldest roared, shoving Kayo roughly to the side and seizing both his blond brothers by the scruff of their necks before yanking them apart, "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, GORDON?"

The aquanaut blinked sluggishly before glancing benignly at his apocalyptic brother. Alan began to visibly wilt as the adrenalin he'd acquired from dancing began to buckle under the weight of the alcohol pumping through his system.

Kayo and Penelope glanced uncertainly at the nearby guests, all of whom were rooted to the spot in silent amazement at what they'd just witnessed. Aware of the media backlash they'd no doubt face in the morning and the uncomfortable sensation of too many eyes upon him, Scott tightened his grip on Gordon and Alan's collars and frogmarched them towards the exit, the silent promise of a lethal tongue-lashing etched into every furious line on his face.

Somewhere in the back, the rather unwelcome voice of Deadeye Dora 'Dotty' Parsons piped up.

"Oh my goodness, it's true!"