Disclaimer: All MLP:FiM characters belong to Hasbro and DHX Media. I do not own any of them except my OC.

I was standing next to Twilight as apparently a postcard from Starswirl came in the mail and he was writing to her about his latest experiences which is cool to hear considering I had no idea what he would do now that he has been freed from Limbo and there is so much that has changed in this modern age. It read "Dear Twilight, it is difficult to express how grateful I am to you for teaching me the power of friendship." That's Twilight for you and it is indeed a very powerful force. "You would think after more than a thousand years, there would be nothing left to learn." You never stop learning. Even things you have mastered, there's always something new to learn all the time. It's the same thing with books. Even if you memorized the entire Bible, there are still new things you can learn about it any day. I'm not being religious, I'm just making a point, so chill people. "And yet, even a pony as old as I can continue to be surprised by how much there is to know." He is very much true on that. Even things I have mastered on, there are still things that shock me every now and then that I had no clue about. "I hope you find these postcards enjoyable and I look forward to seeing you again, though I can't say when my journey will be complete." Some journeys will never be completed in life. I can't remember any, but I know there are ones out there.

"Also, tell Zachary I said hi. He always continues to impress me." Uh, thanks Starswirl. He's kinda my wingman I guess, I don't know. "Your friend, Starswirl." Twilight looked at me and said "I didn't know you would be talking to Starswirl on a constant basis!" I said "Well, not face to face. More or less, we just write to each other all the time about the lessons we learn throughout our journeys. Kinda funny. Going from inside to my mind to living in the real world out here." Twilight looked at me wide eyed. I said "Oh come on. You remember when he appeared for my coronation and when we had to venture through my horrible and awful past.. Honestly, it shouldn't be that surprising." Twilight said "Right…. I guess I might have forgotten. Whoops." I facepalmed and looked in the other direction. Rarity said "It must be gratifying to have your idol writing to you about the friendship lessons he's learning." It kinda is. I don't consider him my idol, because I'm not supposed to have any because of what I believe, but more of mutual respect for him. We're good friends and we have respect for each other. The relationship he has with Twilight though is very much different than with mine. Speaking of which, Twilight said "I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it." You probably won't. I never would if I were you. "Of course, if he really wants to learn about friendship, he could just come to our school." That is a fair point, but isn't he a bit old for that?

"Zach! How rude of you to say that!" "Wh-what?! I didn't mean it like that! I thought this school would have ponies that are young, not exactly over 10,000 years old." "1,000." "It's 10,000 and there's nothing you can do to change my mind. Anyways, point is that would he even be allowed in here?" "Of course, he would! Just because he might be older than the average student doesn't mean he can't come here." "I guess that's a fair point." "Besides Zach, this school is for anycreature in Equestria which includes Starswirl." "Oh right. Uh, oops. Forgot about that. Yep. You're right. Sorry. I just wanted to ask questions." "It's fine Zach, but try and be more nice about it next time." "Uh-Wh-WHAT?! Oh come on! How do you expect me to do that? I couldn't think anything better than that. Sorry if I offended your "idol." "Don't disrespect him like that! You know better than to do something like that!" "Yeah, sure whatever. I'm done having this conversation." Suddenly, the door opened and it was Cozy Glow. I'm watching you missy. I know what you're doing and there's nothing you can do to stop me. She asked "Professor Sparkle?" What do you want, boi? "The Mail Pony just came with uh, a few things." Yeah, okay that's nice. Now get out of here, boi. If that's what you call a few things, then you are delusional.

Rarity was excited and said "Oo! The sewing machines I ordered for my class!" What the heck does that got to do with friendship? Honestly boi, how far can you go? Rarity rushed over to hug them which was very cringey and Cozy Glow said "These came, too. I wasn't sure what to make of them." Let me see that. Rarity took one of the boxes and opened them. Dang, that looks expensive. She said "These machines were costly, but I am quite certain the friendship lessons I can teach my students with them will be invaluable." Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Rarity. What even is this crap. Not Rarity's sewing machines, but these flyers. What the heck is this even supposed to mean? Twilight sighed and I was left confused. "Don't worry darling. I'll think of something and I didn't use the school funds to buy these." Well, that's nice to hear because that money is supposed to be going towards my security because I ain't paying that fee every month. The staff have to pay that one, not me. "I made the purchase entirely with my own bits." Yeah, how much did that cost? A mansion? Probably considering how valuable bits are back home. Twilight said "It's not that. It's this." I can't even believe my eyes right now. Somebody is trying to put Twilight out of business and I ain't having that. I know back home, businesses have to have competition in order to stay afloat in the U.S. economy, but friendship isn't exactly something you can teach widespread without messing something up. You need to have ponies that are qualified to teach that and have had experience with it and not some random pony who doesn't know what they are talking about. That's what you don't want is something like that.

Twilight smacked the flyer on Rarity's face and Rarity picked it up and read it. She said "Why waste your time at a friendship school that's just a school? Learn everything they teach and more at Friendship University!" I said "Yep. It's that bad. Someone is trying to put Twilight out of business. But the question is who?" The three of us minus Cozy Glow went through the halls and discussed this issue. Twilight said "Who would open another friendship school?" I said "I have no idea, but whoever is doing it has malicious intentions. I can feel it flowing through my body as the Tree of Harmony is explaining it right now." Rarity laughed it off and said "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." I wouldn't be so sure about that. "You're the Princess of Friendship." That is a fair point, but she doesn't have to be the only one to teach it. "What could this other school possibly offer?" I said "I wouldn't say that." Rarity looked at me with skepticism and said "Why?" I said "Just wait like two seconds." As if on cue, we heard Smolder say "It isn't just another friendship school, it's a University!" Of course. We get that. Ocellus said "It says they teach "the same lessons of competing schools in half the time." Hold up. What?! There's only one other school that teaches friendship and two, you can't teach friendship quickly. It's not something you can master in like 5 minutes like arts and crafts from the 5 minute crafts YouTube channel. Friendship takes years to learn and isn't something that can be easily mastered right away.

"That's twice the learning." Not necessarily. Gallus said "And it's in Las Pegasus?!" Oh no. Not that place. I'd rather live in California than go to the horrible place of a vacation town again. "If Professor Rarity lets us skip her sewing class- Road trip!" HEY! No skipping class! They all dashed off and I said "Not only is that school trying to put this one out of business, but it's also causing current students here to stray away from this one and head on a 3 hour road trip to Las Pegasus." Rarity said "I think we need to look into this school." I agree. Something like this sounds awfully fishy. Honestly, who do these people think they are to put Twilight's school out of business? She's wanted to do this for years and worked very hard to get it accomplished. To have someone tear all that work down for some stupid reason is foolish. Whoever it is, I'll give them a piece of my mind about how I feel about tearing down someone's dreams just in the name of competition and how quick you can do it.

3 very long hours later….

We finally arrived at this school in Las Pegasus and what is this? This don't look like a university. This looks like your typical shop in Canterlot selling something. Rarity said "I don't like to judge solely on appearances, but what kind of friendship school is this?" I said "Most of the universities I've seen back home are bigger than the size of Ponyville." Twilight and Rarity's jaws dropped. Twilight asked me "How is this even possible?!" I said "I have no idea. That's just how it is. I didn't build them, so I don't have the answer to that one." Suddenly, some random pony came up and said "Only the best friendship school in the West… and maybe all of Equestria!" Okay, whatever you say, woman. Chillax. Then, a bunch of ponies came running into the building like a buffalo stampede and I just rolled my eyes at this. This is pathetic. Ponies here are so stupid. I can't stand them. We went inside and went to the front. Ponies were giving us dirty looks, but one death glare from me and they looked in the other direction. Yeah, can't stand against me, you foolish and arrogant ponies. Twilight said "There's more ponies in here than at our whole school." Uh, I'm not so sure on that, but whatever. "Who is running this place?" I have a bad feeling about this. The lights went out and a voice said "Welcome, friends." I recognize that voice from a million miles away. Flim and Flam! Of course! I hate these scumbags.

"You are about to embark on a journey of amazing magnitude, one that will change your lives forever." I ain't believing any of that crap. You can't fool me so easily. You're gonna have to try harder than that in order to convince me. "Prepare yourselves to embrace a new path and become students of friendship u!" Nope. You ain't gonna get me to join you. Not in a million years. Twilight said with a lack of enthusiasm "Flim and Flam. Of course." The two brothers suddenly started singing some song, but I wasn't buying any of it because I know what their intentions are. None of their schemes ever get me to fall for the bait. What! Okay, so not only have you attacked the School of Friendship and insulted Ponyville, but they also called out Twilight to which I did not like at all. Time to go into defense mode. They continued to sing saying taking too long to teach things is a crime, everything has been fact checked and edited, and how this school will get accredited, but I highly doubt that. No one would want to accredit this piece of crap. I mean the building is a townhouse that's been stretched out and the ponies are total fanboys which doesn't really help at all because they don't think logically.

They also sang about how the Princess of Friendship agrees about this, but by the look on Twilight's face, that's far from true and I don't agree on this either. This is stupid and these two scumbags need to be ran out of town. They also explained that they're the only school to give out friendship degrees, but what's the point in that? I mean, it is thinking logical for the most part, but you don't need a degree to teach at the School of Friendship. I know that wouldn't be the case back home, but this is a fictional country made by my own kind, so it doesn't matter. Now all the ponies started chanting which meant they were definitely fanboys and it drove me nuts. After that whole song, Twilight asked "Accredited?" Yeah, that's not going to happen. The two brothers came up and said "It means officially recognized or authorized." We know what it means, you dimwits. Rarity said "We know what it means. But who would accredit this place?" Yeah, honestly. I said "That would be the most idiotic thing I would ever see." Suddenly, a voice said "I think you're the one who's an idiot, prince." I knew that voice. I turned and saw none other than Chancellor Neighsay appear. He appeared in front of us and I said through my teeth "Who are you to talk about me that way? I can wipe you out in like 2 seconds. Also, nice to see you again, Chancellor!" Twilight couldn't believe her eyes and the Chancellor explained by saying "The Equestria Educational Association has taken an interest in institutions that teach friendship in a pony-first environment." You better watch your mouth, Chancellor because I can rip that thing right off your face in an instant.

"Surely you didn't think your school has a monopoly on the concept?" Excuse me?! You dare say that Twilight's school is a monopoly? What are you, the U.S. Justice department now? Trying to sue big tech companies for antitrust laws because they claim that they are monopolies even though they don't know jack squat on how the internet works? Gosh, woman. Rarity said "Well, she did write the book on it." I'm not sure what that had to do with anything, but okay. The Chancellor said "Ah, yes. "How to teach friendship to creatures who will one day use it as a weapon against us." I said "You have no idea what you are even talking about. What you are saying is foolish and is something a coward would say." Before the Chancellor could say anything, Twilight asked "How could they use friendship as a weapon?" They can't. The Chancellor said "You tell me; it's your book." Stupid fool. "By the way, tell me Prince. How is your hmm sentence going?" What? WHAT?! YOU DARE TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?! I looked away in shame because I knew exactly what he was talking about and it wasn't exactly something I wanted to admit, but Twilight came to my defense.

She said "Don't you dare talk about Zach like that! It wasn't his fault." The Chancellor replied "Oh, on the contrary, I disagree. He admitted to it. Therefore, he is guilty." Twilight fired back saying "I will fix this and have him come back to the School of Friendship!" The Chancellor said "Oh, really? How are you going to do that? He was charged for a crime! Leading a group of creatures who caused property damage and threatened PONYKIND!" Everypony gasped and I had just about enough and I turned on kill mode. I looked at him with my fiercest death glare and I said "Get out." The Chancellor laughed at that and said "You think that will work? You can't tell me to get out." I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to release that anger. I said yelling at the top of my lungs "GET OUT!" and immediately charged after him. The Chancellor took off and I chased after him. He disappeared for a quick second and I looked around. When I saw him after having lightning and thunder go off, I chased after him like Simba did with Scar in the final battle right at the end of the movie. Once he ran into a wall, I had him cornered. He cowered in fear and I looked at him with pure death glances as if he was going to die and become my snack.

He said "Prince, prince, please have mercy. I beg of you." I said "Why should I let you live? Everything you have ever done was to kill and destroy. You don't deserve to live. Goodbye, Chancellor." Before I could pounce on him, something held me back. I saw him disappear and I roared in anger as he was able to get away. I looked down and saw Twilight. She had a pleading expression and I knew I couldn't ignore it. My anger vanished and I went out of kill mode. I said "I really did just do that, didn't I? Ugh! I'm so stupid! I can't even control my own anger and I was about to have a pony for a snack. I can't bear to look at the shame that's written all over my face." Twilight said "You're not stupid, Zach. Honestly, I don't blame you for getting so angry, but you can't eat other ponies for snacks. That's just considered cannibalism and that is heavily frowned upon here." I buried my head down even more in shame and sighed. I said "I don't even know why I bother anymore. I already was embarrassed and now I embarrassed myself even more. What am I even doing? What even is life anymore?" I began to walk away, but Twilight walked in front of me preventing me from leaving.

She lifted my head and said "Don't leave yet. You are more than what you may appear to be. Also, stop doubting yourself. I know things have been rough for you in the past, but don't let that control who you are." Ever since that dreaded day as a teenager, I've never been the same man as I once was. I'm not who I used to be. It almost feels like dark magic just runs right through me when I get angry, but it's just the darkness of human nature that exists in all of mankind. I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I always thought I had an identity, but now that's completely disappeared from me. It has been for almost a decade now. I'm nothing. I will always continue to be nothing for as long as I live. "You are not nothing, Zach. You are something. You mean something to our friends and to me. You seriously need to stop having such low self-esteem." Well, I don't believe in self-esteem because that will only make me prideful and self-centered and I don't want to be thrown into the lake of fire one day because of that. "That might be true, but you can't have such low of a level to where you doubt yourself all the time and believe you don't have significance anywhere." I don't. The only place I had significance was YouTube and even now, that's considered a dead channel after suddenly disappearing never to be heard from again. "You have significance! Ponies bow before you. You have friends. You have saved the world multiple times. You even had an entire school love you and dedicate their studies to you! Don't you see? You have a greater impact than you may think." Why do you believe so much in me? "Why do you believe so little in yourself?" Because that's how I've been for the past eight years.

"Well, screw your past." What? Are you calling my past stupid?! "No, I am not. You need to stop using your past as an excuse." I am not! "Yes, you are. You can't dwell on it." That's easier said than done. "I never said it was going to be easy. The point is you need to let it go." You don't know what it's like to go through a past like mine. "You seriously don't think I would understand something like that?! Are you kidding me?! *starts sniffing a little bit* I've always had it worse than you!" Oh really? How so? "I was bullied as a filly for being Celestia's protégé." I'm not surprised by that. "I got called horrible names and got beaten up for it too." What?! "And one day, there were these bullies that had me badly injured and got me punished in school for something I NEVER did! The worst part about it is that they said I-I wasn't go-going to li-live." WHAT?! The thought of it absolutely angered me and I was fuming with anger that someone would dare to try and murder the one I have cared about the most for over 4 years now. Twilight began shaking in tears and I hugged her as I shared her tears as well. I said "I'm sorry you had to endure that and I wasn't there to stop it. I had no idea you experienced that." It makes my past look petty compared to hers. Twilight sniffled some more and said "It's not your fault. There was nothing you could do about it anyways. The scars I got are still on my body to this day. Both the physical and emotional ones."

Yeah, I know what that feels like. "But please, don't let yourself be held back just because of your past. I never moved on from it and those bullies never got caught." Are you kidding me?! Oh, they will pay for that! For them to almost kill somepony and get away with it, that DOES NOT fly with me. They need to be punished for physical abuse and attempted murder. They shall go in the deepest pits of Tartarus for their crimes. "So, will you please try and move on from your past?" I took a long moment and sighed. I said "I'll try. It's going to take forever, but I will try." Twilight said "That's all that matters is if you try. Now come on, we need to continue this investigation." Okay. We walked back in and that darn Chancellor was standing right there. He said "This university appears to be a promising option for PONIES who'd prefer to stick to the EEA book on the subject." Twilight went up to him and said "You can't be serious. They're obviously up to something. It's Flim and Flam!" The two brothers both gasped and one of them said "Well, that certainly wasn't friendly." I said "Hmm. I don't think it was very friendly to try and put Sweet Apple Acres out of business, sell fake tonic to the elderly, and argue like a bunch of five year olds who didn't get their candy at the grocery store because of some stupid resort expansion plans." Twilight's jaw dropped. She said "How did you know all that?! That was moons ago!" I said "Eh, just going back in the timeline to study up about Equestrian history. Also, some of our friends told me the story about it."

The Chancellor said "Going back in the timeline eh?" What do you want now, woman? "This further proves that DANGEROUS creatures such as him could use friendship as a weapon against us!" EXCUSE ME?! My anger came in flaming hot and Twilight had to hold me back before I could eat him for an afternoon snack. He decided to taunt me and say "Oh look. The prince has anger issues. He can't seem to go five minutes without him constantly getting angry." HOW DARE YOU! I got more and more angry and Twilight knew she had to do something before it went extremely out of hand. I said "You wanna go bruh?! Cause I'll fight ya right now if you don't stop talking smack!" The Chancellor laughed and said "Fighting? Oh please. Why must it always end with violence? I would never want to fight such a foul beast like you." EXCUSE ME?! OH, YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW, YOU SCUMBAG! Before I could do anything, Twilight slapped him right across the neck in anger and said "How dare you talk about Zach like that! You have no right to speak to other creatures like that! He has more brains in his head than your entire body put together!" Wow. I did not know Twilight could roast someone like that. I'm impressed.

However, that did not stop the Chancellor whatsoever. He said "One would think the headmare of a school of friendship, albeit an unaccredited one, would behave differently." Keep your potty mouth shut, you stupid scumbag! "Unless she was trying to undermine the competition? Hmm?" Everypony gasped and Twilight tried to defend herself. She said "I… No… What? I AM NOT!" I believe her. Some random pony said "I did think the Princess of Friendship would be friendlier." I turned around and said "Keep your mouth shut, you scumbag!" The pony was offended, but I silenced her with my death glare. The Chancellor said "I can't believe this creature would even use such foul language." I said "That is not foul language, you IDIOT!" One of the brothers said "Now, now fillies and gentlecolts, let's show the Princess and Prince just how friendly we are by signing up for some classes!" I said "How is that going to show me anything?" The Chancellor scoffed and I said "Shut the heck up." The Chancellor said "And if I don't?" I got up right in his face and said "Then you shall be put in the deepest pits of Tartarus! Do you understand?!" Considering the fact I held him down, he quickly nodded and I said "Good. NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE YOU BECOME MY SNACK!" He quickly dashed off and followed the other brother. I looked at Twilight and Rarity and we took off after them.

We caught up to them and Twilight said "I'm sorry, but approval from the EEA won't convince me that this school is what you promise." I agree. Flim said "And what would it take to convince you?" I said "Nothing. Anything you try won't work on me. Considering the fact on how you've acted in the past and how skeptical I am of things, you won't be able to convince me." The Chancellor said "He didn't ask you." I got angry and scratched him across the face giving him claw marks that bled quite quickly. I said "I don't give a HECK ON WHETHER I ASKED OR NOT! I WAS GIVING MY OPINION AND YOU NEED TO RESPECT IT!" Flim turned to Twilight for an answer and she said "Well, somepony whose opinion I respect, for one." Flim entertained the thought and said "Really? Somepony like this?" He opened the door and it revealed… STARSWIRL?! WHAT?! No. He can't be here. Both of the girls gasped and I looked away in shame. Starswirl saw us and said "Twilight?" Yes, it's her. Rarity said "Uh oh." Yeah, uh oh it is indeed. I'm not sure if I'm seeing this right, but I have a feeling that could actually be him. We walked in and Twilight asked "Starswirl? What are you doing here?" What do you think he's doing? Sorry, not helping.

Starswirl said "Why studying friendship at Flim and Flam's wonderful school!" I beg to differ on that one. Rarity said "Oh, please. I think I know a disguise when I see one. Take off that ridiculous beard! FLAM!" Uh, I don't think that's him. Rarity started pulling at his beard and of course Starswirl grunted in pain. Suddenly, Flam walked in and said "How's it going in here?" Uh, not that great. Rarity realized it wasn't a disguise and stopped pulling on Starswirl's beard. He grunted a little bit and said "It-it's really me." I believe you even though I had a hard time believing it at first. The Chancellor said "I'd heard rumors you've returned, but I didn't believe it until now." Of course you didn't. You never believe anything anyone says at all even if it's the truth. Scumbag. "And if a pony of your stature is studying here, there really isn't anything else I need to see." So stupid and foolish. "I, Chancellor Neighsay, hereby confer upon Friendship University complete and unreserved EEA accreditation!" I can't believe it. He really us that much of a scumbag isn't he? *sighs* Life will never get easier. The two brothers just gloated in our faces and I snarled at them. They backed off and went to the other side of the room near the door. Twilight walked over to Starswirl and said "I-I don't understand. Why would you come here and not my school?" I'm sure he has his reasons.

Starswirl said "My travels brought me here to Las Pegasus." See, what I'd tell ya? "I didn't come for the school, but Flim and Flam convinced me to try it out." I wonder how the hay they did that. Twilight said "You can't trust Flim and Flam! Like Zach had said, they tried to con the Apples out of their farm! They sold fake health tonic! They run a resort in Las Pegasus!" Uh, I didn't quite say it like that, but whatever. One of the brothers said "Technically, our resort is a legitimate business." He's got a point there. Just complaining about the business in general is a very weak excuse and it will make you look like a crazy person. Starswirl got out of his chair and said "I spent ten thousand years thinking the worst out of a "bad" pony." Yeah, cause you didn't understand friendship like we do. "Both of you taught me to look for the best in him." I said "You need to be careful with that. That was different. Stygian was just misunderstood. I know Flim and Flam's intentions in their hearts." Both of them said "And what would that be?" I said "Hmm. How about scamming ponies out of their bits and making a profit out of them by expanding your resort?" Both of them started to sweat and said "Uh, what makes you say that?" I said "I can definitely tell it now. You are nervous. You are starting to sweat. Those are obvious signs that you have just been exposed and are not telling the truth and instead hiding it."

Starswirl said "Besides, what's untrustworthy about opening a school of friendship?" Everything. "They don't even charge for classes." Wait. They don't?! But wait. I know there's a twist to it. They have to cover expenses somehow. This ain't no Bernie Sanders world where everything is free. That thing is a joke in my opinion. Obviously, this guy has no flipping clue on how the economy works, but I'm not going to go any further because I'll just go on a 3 hour rant about how terrible he is if I don't stop right now. So, moving on! Twilight said "I don't know. But I know they're up to something and until I find out, I'm begging you, come to my school instead." Seriously. Hers is way better than any of this crap. The Chancellor said "I understand feeling threatened by competition." No, you don't. You could care less. "But my word, Princess, I wonder if the ill-manners of the creatures at your school aren't contagious." Oh, please. You are such a princess. No pun intended. "I think I will take my leave before I become infected." I said "Stop being such a wuss. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. NOW GET OUT!" I teleported him out the door and slammed it.

Starswirl said "Twilight, I promise I'll visit your school soon, but for now, perhaps it's best if you return there." Are you serious, Starswirl?! Come on. You can't do me like that, man. We walked out and Twilight had such a downcast look and I looked around to see if any funny business was going on. Twilight said "You don't think they're running an actual friendship school, do you?" I said "Not in the slightest. Even if they don't charge for classes, they have to cover expenses somehow. Nothing is free in this world otherwise the economy would go bankrupt." Rarity said "Darling, of course not." Even she agrees. "Which is why we have to investigate!" I agree. Twilight said "But we can't go poking around the school. Everypony'll think I'm still just "threatened by the competition." I said "Who says that we need to be our true selves?" Rarity said "Zachary, you're a genius!" Uh, thanks? I guess. "It will only be that way as ourselves." We had evil grins on our faces and went inside a supply closet for disguises. The girls somewhat changed their appearance, but I did something completely different. I decided to blend in. I changed myself into a pony so I wouldn't be recognizable by anybody. Also, I changed my voice as well so no one could pinpoint that either. I looked like how Discord was as a pony when chasing down Tirek in the Season 4 finale "Twilight's Kingdom."

Rarity came out and looked at herself. "In these disguises, we could pass as students at our own school." I agree with that. Twilight seemed doubtful and said "I don't know, Rarity." Rarity wasn't having any of it and said "Ah-ah. What did I say about using our real names?" You can't say it or else it will give it away. The door opened and Twilight said annoyed "Sorry, "Plainity." But I'm pretty sure this isn't enough of a disguise. I mean, even Zach's disguise looks a lot better and no one can tell it's him." I said "That is true. Because not only did I change my appearance, but I also changed my voice as well, so no one can tell it's me just by listening to my voice." Rarity said "That's quite genius of you to do that. I'd say. That scepter of yours can really come in handy sometimes." I said "Thanks, Rarity. I try my best." Suddenly, some random pony came up and said "Hey, strangers. Are you three new here?" Rarity blew up some bubblegum and said "We sure are. Completely new!" Definitely so. The pony jumped up in excitement and said "Great! See you in class!" Okay, that was weird.

Rarity squealed like a little kid and said "Now, I've read enough Shadow Spade to know the key to going undercover is rehearsing your backstory." That is very much true. "*says in monotone voice* I'm "Plainity" and I love bland-old-normal stuff. No frills for me." Makes sense. "Ok, your turn." I went ahead and said in a monotone voice like Batman "I'm Shadow and I only build things with black, and sometimes very very very dark gray." Ok, that's mine." We turned to Twilight and she said "My name's Eyepatch. I have an eyepatch." Well, that doesn't sound like you put effort into it. Shame on you. Rarity however, thought it was enough and said "Perfect!" Of course you would think that way. "Now, how do we start our investigation?" I have an idea. Twilight said "I think we should split up." Good idea. Can't catch us all in the act. You enroll in some classes and find out what they're actually teaching. I'll look around and see what I can find, assuming I'm not recognized. And Zach will just go back and forth just to make sure things are accurate." Okay, sounds good to me. I followed Rarity to the classroom and sat down. Seriously, no one will notice me. I think it was Flam that said "Welcome, newest students!" A very unwelcome to you too. "Let's dive right in, shall we?" How about let's not? Yes? Yeah, that will work. "One of the most important elements of friendship is being thoughtful, true or false?" That's a trick question.

Everypony, including me, raised their hooves and Flam picked on Rarity. Here's your shot, Rarity. Don't let us down. She said "If by thoughtful you mean generous, I'd say true." That does make sense. Flam said "Correct! It was a trick question." I already knew that. "Very impressive, Ms…?" Rarity said "Plainity." Kinda rhymes with Rarity if you think about it. "Well, well, well, Ms. Plainity, keep it up and you'll be ready for our next level in no time!" That got the attention of the whole class and Rarity just acted chill. I acted excited as well just so that I'm not being obvious. It continues to add on with being undercover. "Now, let's see if you can demonstrate for the class." That's easy for her. "What's something generous you could do for me right now?" Just watch. Rarity got up and grabbed a pillow for Flam to rest on and some grapes for him to eat. It made him very impressed and I watched in amazement. I knew she could do it. It wasn't that hard. "Class, Plainity here is now my star pupil." Oh, you got the high ranks Rarity. It's all going to plan right now. "If any of you want a chance at studying with Starswirl, I'd take notes on her every action." That got everyone excited and they wrote down notes. I was writing down notes on what was happening so that they could be exposed later on.

I created another version of myself to see what Twilight was doing, but I left the real one in the classroom so that no one would get suspicious. Twilight said "Hello?" I don't think anyone is here. "The door is open, so I'll just assume it's ok to come in and look around, unless somepony says it's not." I don't see anything, but you never know these days. "All right, then." Twilight closed the door and began reading from a paper. "The Element of Laughter and it's applications." Ok, that seems pretty genuine." Yeah, it does, but there's a twist here somewhere. She picked up another paper and began reading that. "When to support your friends' decisions and when to talk sense." Huh, that's actually kind of interesting." It sure is. She picked up a third paper and looked at it like she just struck gold. "Ah-ha! "Friendship University's true goal is to help friends become better friends?" Where is the proof that it's all a scam?" I said "You aren't going to find it here. You have to look beyond the wall." Twilight was confused and thought about it, but before she could, the two brothers said "There isn't any… *turns on lights and take a picture of her* Twilight Sparkle!" Har, har. You caught her. Move on please. "Did you really think an eye patch was enough of a disguise?" Honestly, how did this not catch Rarity? She would have immediately said that's not enough of a disguise if she started thinking harder and more logically. But instead, she thought it was fine, and look where that led to.

Twilight said "No, I didn't." The other brother said "Well, then we agree that everypony will recognize the Princess of Friendship in this photo of you sneaking into our office." Oh, so you're going to play that game now. Huh? Well, that's not going to work. The brother standing next to Twilight said "I can see the headline now, "Princess of Jealousy! Twilight Sparkle bent on ruining her competition!" Oh no. You give that to the media and oh boi it now got worse. The brother holding the photo said "So sad. A news story like that would destroy your reputation." Lying about your true goal would destroy your reputation. "Nopony will want to go to your school after that." Unfortunately, he's right on that one. Ponies these days only believe the news and if the media gets ahold of shaming someone, they will do it so that person looks like the worst one on Earth. Where's Theodore Roosevelt when you need him? "Just wait until the papers get a hold of this." Oh dear. Please don't remind me. The other brother said "Princess Unhinged! It will be the talk of Equestria." I said appearing as my true self "If you ever DARE put that in the papers, I'll make sure everyone knows about your past and how disgraceful it has been. So, don't you try and fear mongol with ME!" Suddenly, Starswirl came in and I knew I had to hide. So I went into my shadow form and wrapped myself around Twilight.

He said "Well, gentleponies, I've finished another stack." Already? Dang, man, how long does it take you. "The lessons in these worksheets are quite fascinating." I can't really disagree with that. "Twilight? What's going on here?" You don't want to know. One of the brothers said "Just your protégé getting caught snooping in our office in disguise! Well, sort of." Be quiet, you dimwit. The other brother said "Honestly, Princess Twilight, envy does not look good on you." I said appearing above Twilight's head "Nor does lying about your true goal of this school!" The two brothers showed Starswirl the picture and Twilight said "I'm not envious! I know these two are up to something. I'm just trying to find out what!" Starswirl looked up at the photo and said "The only pony I see who's up to something is the pony in this picture, and it is not the princess I know." Starswirl walked away and Twilight had tears in her eyes. That is so sad. There goes your idol throwing in the towel for you to put into the washer to have it cleaned. Ouch. One of the brothers said "Well, it's about to be the Princess all of Equestria knows." Didn't you hear anything I had just said? My goodness, woman. The other brother said "Unless… you decide to drop the whole, "uncover the scam" thing." The one to the left said "Then we'll rip this silly picture up and not let it completely and utterly ruin you and your school." I said "Oh, so now you're trying to blackmail her? How much of a fool are you guys? I don't care what you say. NOTHING will EVER make me change my mind about you two. I'm on to you and there's NOTHING you can do to stop me, so HA! Take that! Come on, Twilight. Let's go discuss this before any more drama happens in here." Twilight groaned in sadness and we both left.

I saw Rarity be the spotlight in front of the other students and she gave them some advice I guess. She said "You can be generous with all sorts of things. Gifts, compliments, your time." All of that stuff should be pretty easy, but yet adults need to be taught in school about that topic like they're in kindergarten all over again learning the alphabet. The ponies walked away and Twilight walked past disheartened. Rarity said "Hey, Eyepatch!" She doesn't have that anymore. "Where's your eyepatch? *gasps* Was your cover blown?" You could say that again. Twilight said with annoyance in her voice "You could say that. Flim and Flam took a picture of me sneaking into their office." I said "I tried my best defending her, but even I had a hard time coming up with comebacks. Well, sorta." Rarity said "Were we wearing our eyepatch?" I said "It honestly wasn't even enough of a disguise." Twilight said "If I don't stop investigating, they're going to tell everypony that I'm trying to sabotage their school because I'm jealous." I said "They better not post that. They basically fear mongoled her and blackmailed her into dropping it which is not okay at all and if they even DARE try that, they will suffer my wrath and face the penalty." Rarity said "But but but… that ridiculous!" It is, but it seems doubtful at this point.

Twilight said "I don't know. Maybe I am just upset that Starswirl came here instead of my school. Flim and Flam may have turned over a new leaf. We should probably just go home." Twilight still had that disappointed look and rested her head on my neck so that I could give her comfort. However, Rarity beat me to it. She said "Twilight, you are not the kind of pony to let your emotions cloud your judgement. If you think Flim and Flam are up to no good, you can't give up, even if their lessons really are impressive." I agree with Rarity, Twilight. Twilight said "Wait. What?" You heard her. Rarity said "Which reminds me. Can you get a message to Spike? I want to return those sewing machines." Uh, why? "I need the bits if I'm going to keep advancing here. Tuition's free, but the worksheets sure aren't." Twilight looked around and saw everypony with a stack of papers and said "Flim and Flam are charging for these?" I said "Twilight. Do you remember what I told you and Rarity earlier about how they needed to cover expenses?" Twilight looked at me for a second before saying "Of course! That makes sense now! Zach, you're a genius!" I try to be. Rarity said "What? Flam insisted that everything extra goes to improving the school and… wait. Zachary is right! That is the scam isn't it?" It sure is.

Twilight said "Let's find out!" We went to one of the classrooms and saw Starswirl grabbing another stack of lessons. Dang, he's really going at it here. He said "These lessons are so valuable." I'm sure they are. "Are you sure I can't give you more?" Maybe? I don't know. One of the brothers said "Ah ah ah! Unnecessary! Being able to share them with a pony like you is our real reward." Sure it is. Starswirl walked out and the next pony in line came to buy sheets. The same brother said "Oh, my. And you want to study alongside Starswirl, hm?" Oh so now you want to be serious? Ridiculous. The pony said "It's all I have." Yeah, you probably spent it all last night at the casinos gambling with your friends. I swear. These ponies are so terrible at money management. The brother accepted the bit and gave him a paper before ripping it in half. The other brother sitting in the chair said "Come back for the rest when you can afford it." Dang, that's harsh. The pony was desperate and said "Wait. I'll sell the shirt off my back!" Wow. That's some determination right there. The brother that was standing up said "That's the kind of determination that'll get you to the next level, student whose name I know!" You don't even know his name? HA! And you were going to the papers about Twilight sneaking into your office. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. We walked away from the door and Rarity said "Twilight, maybe I should take over the investigation. Think of your reputation!"

I said "What's the point in a reputation if you don't put it at risk for what's right?" Twilight said "Zach's right. My reputation isn't worth much if I won't risk it for what I think is right. Besides, I have a plan." We followed Flim and Flam to their office and saw them look around to make sure no one was spying on them. Me and Twilight ran over to the door and peeked inside. Just as I had suspected, they moved the clock and turned the paintings upside down to reveal a hidden entrance to a back room. We opened the door further and Twilight whispered to me "You were right. There was something behind those paintings." Yeah, I knew they couldn't have anything without easter eggs hiding around somewhere in this building. We continued to follow them and they were in fact scamming ponies out their bits for resort expansion plans. The brother on the right said "Well, brother of mine, we've got almost all the bits we need to expand our resort." Told ya. Scamming ponies out of their bits for profit. "If we add another level of classes and worksheets, we'll be there!" I don't think so. Not while I'm around.

The brother on the left said "Maybe we should add two levels, just to be safe." It doesn't really matter because you'll be caught anyways. The brother on the right said "Ah! It's a thing of beauty." Nah, it will get burned one day. "But I was thinking, what if we add another extreme pool slide here?" I could care less. The other brother said "Sure, as long as the pipes for the musical chocolate fountain go through here." Twilight spoke up and said "But shouldn't it go closer to the pudding hot tub here?" The brother on the left said "Fair point, but - what?" They turned around to see both me and Twilight with angry glares on our faces ready to fully expose the both of them. Twilight said "I knew your school was a scam!" I said "Honestly, you really thought you could get away with something like this? Please, you don't know me very well." The brother on the left said "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Princess of Jealousy. I guess we'll be going to the papers after all." I said "I don't think so. You've been caught red-handed and there's no way of denying it now, not while I have everything on recorded video just for some physical evidence in case anybody wants to sue you guys for fraud." Twilight said "He's right. I suppose I'll just lead your students into this secret room of bits and resort expansion plans!" The brother on the right sweated nervously and said "Let's not get hasty. You have something on us; we have something on you. Let's just call it even."

I said "Nice try, but that ain't happening. You're only sorry because you got caught. I bet if you didn't, you would keep on going. So therefore, you get no sympathy from me. It's funny how you threatened to put Twilight's picture in the newspaper, but when the tables get turned, you act all chill and like "Now maybe that's not a good idea." It's like trying to fight someone only to back out like a chicken when they actually try and fight you." Twilight said "Zach is right again. You can destroy my reputation if you want, but using your students' bits to expand your resort is wrong, even if the lessons you teach are good ones." Well said, my dear. Couldn't have said it better myself. The brother on the right said "Of course, they're good. We copied them from your book." Really bruh? I gave them a deadpan look because that is ultimate stupidity. They didn't even decide to be original. They just decided to copy the curriculum from the School of Friendship but cut in half. Fools. The brother on the left said "We skipped every other page. "All the lessons, half the time!" Twilight groaned and said "Fine. If you really want to call it even, give back the bits and stop charging for my lessons. Then you can teach them as much as you like."

The brothers looked at each other and said nah. The brother on the left said "Running a school is more work than we thought." How easy did you expect it to be? Nothing about education is easy that's for sure. "Besides, we almost have everything we need." I said "Pride goes before fall." The brothers looked at me confused and I opened the door revealing Rarity who said "I think not!" Flam looked surprised and said "Plainity? My star pupil?" She was never Plainity. It was a disguise the entire time. Rarity said "Not Plainity, but… *takes off clothing* Rarity!" The brothers were confused and had no idea. "We decided to bring somepony else here to listen to everything you just said!" Starswirl walked in clearly upset and Flim said "Hey! Starswirl. We were just about to-" before Starswirl said with anger "Return the bits you've collected from your students and close your school?" I hope so. Flam gulped and said "Yeah. That." they took out all the bits and returned them to the students. Starswirl sighed and said "Ah, it seems I'll never stop learning from your example, Twilight." I said "You don't ever stop learning in life. Even things that you have mastered, there's always something new to learn." Starswirl said "Indeed my friend. It is a valuable lesson to stand up for what you know is true. I wish I had known it too." It's okay, Starswirl. You still have a lot to learn about friendship.

A random pony said "Thanks for returning our bits, but how are we going to learn about friendship now?" I have an idea. Starswirl said "Well, I can refer you to a fairly reputable establishment just outside of Ponyville. I'm quite certain the headmare would consider letting you in." She definitely would. Twilight nodded and everypony cheered. We headed back to Ponyville and Twilight read another postcard from Starswirl. It read "Of course, If I ever go to a school again, I'll make sure it's yours. In friendship, Starswirl." It's nice that Twilight gets postcards from Starswirl. I get letters from him every week because we talk about our journeys a lot and how we can improve on them. It's nice to do that to be able to connect with a pony like him. Rarity said "I still don't understand how Flim and Flam could have gotten a copy of your book." Hmm. That seems awfully suspicious. Maybe the filly at the door had something to do with it. I can't exactly tell, but the episode kinda hints towards that. Anyways, Cozy Glow opened the door and said "I finished straightening up the library." That's nice. I don't care though in the slightest. "Professor Rarity, I just wanted to make sure you're definitely keeping these." Probably so because those things ain't cheap.

Rarity said "But of course, darling. If there's one thing I learned at Friendship University, it is not to give up when you know what's right and I know teaching friendship through sewing is right! I just need to figure out how!" Twilight and Cozy glow smiled at each other and I rolled my eyes. Really Rarity? You know what, I won't even bother. I'm still watching you Cozy Glow. It really is sad that she will betray Twilight. For as much Twilight has gone through in her life, she doesn't need a manipulative filly betraying her trust and toying with her emotions. She'll pay the penalty one day and she'll suffer my wrath by messing with the one thing I care about and would even die for at this point. I can feel it approach as the season comes to a close and each day passes by. I'm not doing anything right now because no one will believe me, but I know it's coming. I'm letting everything play out so I can have her locked up in Tartarus next to Tirek for her crimes of causing unreasonable panic and treason against the crown which is a life sentence there. Yeah, it's that serious here in Equestria. I studied all of the laws and put them on a piece of paper that looks like a Constitution so I can keep track of what crimes correlate with what laws. I know it is wrong of me to hold a grudge like this and show no sympathy for this filly, but I know what happens, so that's why I'm acting the way I am. If she didn't do that, I would think otherwise. But the show had different ideas, so that's the way I feel and no one will ever stop me from feeling this way. Cozy Glow, just wait because I'll come to bite you in the behind when you betray everyone.

AN: I know the ending there was different than the typical chapter, but if you've watched the Season 8 finale, you understand why Zachary feels this way. He's just waiting for the right time to strike and that's when everyone gets fooled and Cozy Glow is caught for her crimes. He won't literally bite her in the behind, but he'll unleash all of his wrath upon her for playing with the emotions with the mare he cares about most. It's really heartbreaking for Cozy Glow to do that, but that's just what the show decided to do, so it is what it is. Hope you guys enjoyed your Christmas or whatever you celebrated and you got you wanted hopefully. Anyways, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Next Chapter: Friendship Division! When Rarity and Rainbow Dash hang out, they begin to question why they were even friends in the first place since they can't seem to have anything in common and criticize the other's choices without remorse. Eventually, it boils over and they declare that they are no longer friends, which weakens Zachary's scepter and that causes panic because Equestria can't be defended as easily, so it leaves everyone in a hot mess. Can Twilight find the cure to mend the friendship, or will they forever stay divided and have Equestria at risk for the rest of their lives?

Until then, my fellow readers