Conversations on a Balcony

64

A/N: As many of you know, I was born and raised in Ireland. All of my family, including my parents and brother, still live there and with COVID, I'm pretty devastated by the fact that I can't go home for Christmas this year. I was lying in bed last night thinking about how I wished I could ring my Mam but with the time zone difference, I couldn't right at that moment.

This chapter was born from that thought.


Cat knew she was there. It was almost three and Kara still hadn't come to bed. She'd been out on their bedroom balcony crying for a while now and Cat's heart ached for her. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew that, if Kara had wanted comfort, she would've come to bed. And she respected her wife's decisions.

It was another fifteen minutes before the balcony door opened further and Kara slipped into the bedroom. She set her glasses on her nose and her supersuit melted away, then took them off and set them on the nightstand with her phone. She shed her underwear, got into a pair of soft pajamas and then slid into bed. The hero lay on her back for a few moments, then turned onto her side away from her wife and closed her eyes, emotionally drained.

"What can I do?" Cat asked softly.

Kara sniffled but didn't move. "Nothing," she replied just as softly. 'Thanks… I love you, Cat, but I just… need some space right now."

"Ok. I love you too. Goodnight, Sweetheart."

"Night."

They both lay there, Kara's mind awash with grief, while Cat longed to reach out to her and hold her. Neither could sleep and after a while, the older woman just took a deep breath. "Do you want to talk about it? Because I can hear you thinking really loudly, and I can't doze off. This old lady needs her beauty sleep, you know."

Cat was pleased when a small chuckle floated from her wife's side of the bed. "Firstly, you're not even close to old and secondly, how do you always know what to say when I'm upset."

"Because I know you, Kara," Cat replied. "You have an innate optimism that always responds to humor. Even when I just make a stupid joke… like that one… because of course I'm not old!"

Kara chuckled again and it took another minute, but Cat felt the mattress tilt a little as the younger woman rolled over and moved closer to her, so she opened her arms in invitation. The hero pressed against her chest and Cat hugged her gently, stroking her fingers through her hair. She felt tears drip onto her skin and she kissed Kara's forehead, just holding her as she cried fitfully. When her tears had eased into sniffles and then into calmer breathing, Kara took Cat's hand and laced their fingers together. "It's gone," she said softly. "Krypton… it's gone."

Cat blinked, not quite understanding. "What do you mean?"

Kara sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. "Even though it was destroyed over forty years ago, its light has still been travelling to Earth all this time, so it shone in the sky like the other planets and stars. Tonight, when I got home, I stood on the balcony to say goodnight to my father and my best friend, Thara, like I do every night but… but…" She swallowed hard and Cat hugged her tighter. "I couldn't see the light in the sky anymore. It's finally burned out, Cat."

"Oh Baby," Cat murmured. "I'm so sorry."

"I have to let them go. I thought I had but…" Kara squeezed her eyes shut as she uttered brokenly. "I know I'm an adult… a mother myself… but I really, REALLY wish I could talk to my Mom right now."

And all Cat could do was hold her wife even tighter.