Chapter 49:
Michelle
"Hello." I try to keep the awkwardness from my voice as the bedroom door opens, Carla leaning up against the frame. "...Not feeling sick?"
"No." She shakes her head, pondering it for a moment. "Should that be worrying?"
"I think it'd a blessing." I shoot her a small smile, which she returns. "Are you going to work today?"
"...No." She decides, glancing at the smashed up bathroom door for a brief moment. "I uh, I've got somebody coming over to fit a new door... So I thought we could go somewhere. Anywhere you like."
"You don't want to be here when they do that?"
"Well it's uh... It's Gary." She admits and I nod in understanding. "So I thought you might not be comfortable in the flat, you know?" I just stare down at the floor, stupidity rising in me. How had it come to this? Me needing to leave my own home every time somebody came round? "What's this in aid of?" She moves forwards, pointing to the scrambled egg and salmon on toast that I had arranged for us. Although I knew there was no chance of me keeping it down.
"Well uh..." I try to think of a reason other than desperately trying to make things up to her. "I want you to eat well."
"Have you taken your meds?" She asks, taking a seat in front of the breakfast I had laid out.
"Yeah, I've taken that new stuff they've prescribed me as well." I tell her and she looks up in confusion. "Ali dropped it off for me this morning."
"You saw Ali?" Surprise ripples through her expression and I just nod. "...How did you find that?"
"Ok. I just said a quick hi." I shrug, pausing before adding, "I'm not completely insane, you know?"
"I know." She smiles at me, tucking into her breakfast. "It's just a step in the right direction, it's a good sign."
"Yeah." I sit down opposite her, shuffling eggs around my plate with my fork, staring down at it, unappeased. My eyes flicker up to stare at her, munching hungrily on the breakfast I had made, dark hair falling against her cheeks. "...I'll just stay in the bedroom when Gary is here." I decide quietly and she looks up, sighing to herself. It sounded so petty, but I still had not stepped foot outside since returning from the mental health centre, and I was trying to put it off for as long as possible.
"Chelle, you're gonna have to leave the flat sometime." She says it so gently, as if I was going to start another argument, which was the last thing on my mind. "The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be."
"I know." I lower my head into my hand, trying to shut out the thought.
"Hey, Mrs." I feel her tickle under my chin and I raise my eyes to hers. "You did it once, you can do it again."
"You shouldn't be so nice to me."
"Oh right and why's that?" She raises an eyebrow, leaving me in silence. "Because if I remember correctly, we said we were drawing a line under the other day."
"Yeah but I can't draw a line under my guilt." I admit, biting down on my lip hard.
"Look, Nick once smashed a glass when he was having a breakdown and it cut my face." She tells me and I look up protectively, as if I had any right to.
"He did what?"
"But it was an accident - Chelle. He didn't mean to do it. Neither did you." She reaches for my hand. "Look, how are we going to move forwards if you can't get past this?"
"Do you feel safe with me?" I dare to ask and she dips her head, smiling softly.
"More than anyone." She promises me and it relaxes my nerves slightly. "So where do you want to go today? Hm?" She picks up a piece of toast, biting into it. "We could go to the park or the quays, just for a walk. Nothing too strenuous. Might even buy you an ice cream."
"An ice cream?" I let out a laugh. "It's November."
"What? And there's laws are there?" She giggles, her tone becoming stubborn. "Right come on, eat up, shower, dressed. We're not moping around here anymore."
"You always have to deal with something, don't you?" I point out, because it had been weighing on my mind the whole drive here.
"Ey?" Carla laces our fingers together, beginning to walk and I take a deep breath before doing the same.
"Well, Peter it was the alcoholism. Nick it was the brain injury. Tony it was the..."
"Serial murdering?" She scoffs softly, before noticing my expression. "Sorry, sweetheart."
"No, it's ok." I squeeze her hand, continuing to walk. "But yeah, I guess. Now you've got my... Problems."
"Oh yeah and I'm baggage free, me." She reminds me sarcastically. "Come on Chelle, I'm hardly Mary Poppins, am I? I think I'd be concerned if my relationships didn't come with a few tests."
"Is that what this is? A test?" I drop my eyes to the floor, kicking the autumn leaves out of the way as I walked.
"Yes, and you're gonna pass." She assures me. "Top marks."
"Don't think I ever got top marks in anything." I squint, trying to remember back to my results day."
"You got an A in music." She reminds me and I smile fondly at the fact she remembered. "That's better than anything I got. Then again, you did have a talent for it. I don't really think I was born with any gifts in food tech or German. You know, if it hadn't been for me seducing your brother the night before those results came out, I'd probably be cleaning toilets right now. Or worse, probably wouldn't be here at all."
"I wouldn't have let that happen." I tell her honestly. "You were getting out that estate with me whether you liked it or not."
"Mm, and you didn't like it did you?" She pokes my cheek gently with her spare hand, winding me up. "You couldn't stand me as soon as we moved away."
"Only because my brother stole you from me." I scoff. "And then you turned into some snobby, spoilt cow once Paul started flexing his credit card."
"Ooh!" She nudges me, impressed at my comebacks and I glare at her playfully. "Is that what I still am?"
"No. Because you softened back to the old Carla over the years." I tell her, quietly. "Only she smells a little better than when we were kids."
"Oi!"
"And has less knots in her hair. Fewer holes in her clothes." I wind her up, starting to grin at her sour expression. "And she doesn't eat baked beans cold from a tin. They're called baked beans for a reason, Carla."
"Shh!" She pulls on my hand, turning me to face her. "Do not tell anybody that. Ever." She whispers, her expression softening as my face draws closer to hers.
"Wouldn't dare." I murmur, feeling her nudge her nose against mine and feeling a rush of passion fizz through my body. "Mm." I pull away, scanning the surroundings, checking nobody was watching us. It was quiet, but then again, there weren't a lot of people who journeyed out to the park at 1pm on a Monday.
"Hey." She tilts my head to face her. "Sometimes, I feel like we're the only two people on this earth." She bites her lip gently, studying my expression. "I wish you'd feel the same."
"I wish I would and all." I sigh, shivering slightly. "And I will... Again... When I'm not so paranoid."
"That's ok." She kisses me quickly, before beginning to walk again. "Time."
"Time?"
"That's the most valuable part of the healing process. I've learnt that over the years." She opens up, looking out across the lake with an essence of nostalgia in her eyes. "You can drink, you can talk to people, you can smash a whole place up. But in the end, it's just time that really brings us to the other side."
"...You've been spending too much time with Roy." I tease her and she rolls her eyes.
"I thought that was good!"
"It was good." I elbow her gently, sincerity settling in my voice. "It was good." I cast my eyes over the rippling water, the ducks going about their lives, everything so important and yet meaningless to them. It must be nice, to be a duck, to have nothing to worry about except fighting over scraps of bread and keeping your ducklings warm. They didn't have PTSD. They didn't have to worry about work, or relationships, or whether their client was going to make a move on them. They just swam, so peacefully, everyday, not even aware that death would eventually come. "...I'm amazed I'm doing this, you know."
"See." Carla squeezes my hand supportively. "You build everything up in your head to seem so much worse than it is. This is why I was telling you not to prolong coming out. Because look..." She stops, wrapping her arms around me from behind, planting a kiss into my hair. "At the trees, the water, the sky. It's not so scary, is it?"
"No." I whisper, nuzzling into her neck. "Not when I've got you."
Carla
"Carla, I'm desperate to see her." Ryan tells me down the phone as I pace back and forth. "A few days ago, I thought she might be dead."
"I know. I know." I sigh, empathising with him. "Look I'll talk to her, ok? I just don't want anything to set her off."
"Right ok well, I've got to go, me and Craig are about to start a new level on Fortnight." He responds and I refrain from asking him to elaborate. "See you soon."
"Bye sweetheart." I hang up the phone, just as Michelle emerges from the bathroom.
"Good as new." She taps the door, seemingly much better than she had been twenty four hours ago. "Who was that on the phone?"
"Uh... Ryan." I decide to opt for the truth.
"Oh yeah?" She slides onto the kitchen stool, flicking through a magazine. "Hey I was thinking we could have him and Ali over one night. I'll cook."
"...Really?" I try to keep the shock out of my voice, studying her wearily. I couldn't quite get my head around this transformation. "...What did they prescribe you again? Ecstasy?"
"Haha." She flashes me a withered look. "No. I just, what's the point in wallowing in it, hey? You were right. The sooner I try to move forward the sooner I will move forward."
"...Well that is how it works." I depict her words, going over and wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "I'd say I'm proud of you but I wouldn't want to sound patronising."
"You don't." She smiles to herself. "I'm not gonna bite your head off, stop treading on eggshells... Hey uh, how many people know about the pregnancy now?"
"Let's see... Kate, Rana, Ali... Steve..." I count out on my fingers. "Oh and Roy."
"Roy knows?" She turns to me in surprise and I freeze, realising I hadn't told her about the night I turned up at the cafe.
"Oh... Yeah, sorry."
"Carla!" She cries exasperatedly. "I thought we were gonna tell everyone together. At this rate it'll just be Johnny who's last to know, and he's not gonna be pleased about that."
"I know." I whine, slotting into the stool on the opposite side of the breakfast bar. "I can't help myself... I'm excited."
"Yeah, me too." She reaches for my hand and we share a moment before the buzzer sounds, causing her to jump viciously, her face turning to horror.
"It's ok." I reassure her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's ok."
"Mm." She snaps herself out of the panic, before getting up and going over to the door. "Yeah?"
"Hey love. It's Johnny, can I come up?" I hear his voice faintly through the intercom and she pauses, glancing at me shiftily.
"Yep." She decides, pressing the door release and walking over to me with her hands in her pockets.
"Hey, I'll tell him to go if you want-"
"No, no it's fine. Gotta face it sometime haven't I?" She forces a smile on her face as the door opens, Johnny appearing with an large dish in his hand, covered over with foil. "Hi."
"Oh Michelle, we've been worried." He puts the dish down on the counter, wrapping her in a hug which I can tell makes her a little uncomfortable, but tries her best to return it all the same. "How are you feeling?"
"Yeah I'm... Fine." She sugarcoats it and my eyes drop down to the oven dish, the scent instantly making the babies ravenous.
"Is that for me?" I ask greedily, pulling the foil off the top.
"Uh, yeah. It's just a couple of hot pots, I thought I may as well bring them round-"
"Yum." I tuck in before he can finish his sentence and I can tell it triggers a flare of confusion in his mind. "Thanks Johnny."
"No problem." He flashes a proud smile, studying me for a moment. "It's like you haven't eaten in weeks."
"Mm, feels it." I just mutter, ignoring their conversation as I continue digging into the stew. My ears don't prick up until I hear him mention the word Christmas, finally lowering my fork and giving him my full attention. "What?"
"I said you guys will be coming to us for Christmas, won't you?" He repeats and I glance at Michelle, trying to think of an excuse, any excuse to get us out of it. "There'll be me, Jenny, Kate, Rana, Imran, Ryan, Ali, Liz'll be on the bar, Jenny's invited Rita, oh I think she said Norris might be joining us and all."
"Wow... You're going to need a big table." Michelle just mutters, looking quite overwhelmed at the thought.
"We uh... See we might pop in Johnny but we told Roy we would spend Christmas with him this year." I lie professionally.
"Bring Roy along!" He claps his hands and I narrow my eyes.
"Johnny, we'll be sat on top of each other if you add anybody else to that mix." I point out, through a mouthful of food. "It's the back room of the Rovers, not Manchester Arena. I'm sure Jenny's really excited about cooking Christmas dinner for about fifteen people."
"Pfft, you think Jenny's going to cook?" He raises an eyebrow.
"What? So you're gonna do it are you?" I scoff. "Because I tell you one thing I've inherited from you and that's bad cooking skills."
"I'm alright-"
"Johnny, you gave Aidan food poisoning when he was eleven because his ready meal was still frozen." I remind him and he looks shocked at my memory. The room falls silent for a moment and I feel the tension rise at the mention of his name.
"You're right... It is a lot of people." He nods. "But this is going to be a hard Christmas. I need as much distraction as possible. Come on, it wouldn't be right if you weren't there."
I sigh, giving in. He had a point; this year the family needed to pull together more than ever. Aidan would have wanted us to spend it with one another. "Ok." I agree and Michelle nods slowly. "Course we'll be there."
"Brill, I'll make sure I've got enough crackers in." He preens excitedly and I force an ecstatic smile at the thought. "And plenty of wine for you."
"...Yep." I just manage, passing a look to Michelle.
"Well, you two seem to be in a much better place than I was expecting." Johnny announces. "I'll leave you to it."
"Thanks for dropping by." Michelle says politely and I raise my fork from where I had started on the hot pot again.
"Yeah, thanks for the food and all."
"Careful, you'll get fat eating all that." Michelle teases me when the door is closed. "That wasn't too bad."
"Nope, you handled it very well." I spin the chair to face her, holding my arms out. "Would you like a sticker as a well done?"
"Shut up." She taps my cheek softly, gazing into my eyes.
"I'm joking, I'm so... Blown away by how much progress you're making so fast. You're a strong one, you."
"I was thinking..." She hesitates, poking my nose gently. "Of going into work tomorrow."
"Are you sure?"
"Well I haven't broken my arm, have I?" She laughs, her expression falling serious all of a sudden. "Yeah... I just want to try and get things back on track. Lolling around here is just gonna make me feel worse, isn't it?"
"Smart, aren't you?" I kiss her and she wraps her arms around my neck. "I love you."
Michelle
"Your hair looks pretty like that." Carla comments as I leave the bedroom, looking up from her bowl of cereal.
"It's just in a ponytail." I laugh nervously and she shrugs. "With a bow clipped in."
"Effortlessly pretty then." She flirts, pointing her spoon in my direction.
"...Why are you being so nice? It sets me on edge." I comment, gathering my bag and loading it with things I needed for work.
"Ah! What? I can't compliment my wife now without it being weird?" She laughs, pouring me out a coffee and bringing it over. "How are you feeling? You slept well."
"Yeah well it was the first night in days where I haven't been an anxious mess." I sip the hot liquid, feeling it trickle down my throat, heating me up inside. "Until now."
"Everything's gonna be fine." She promises me, leaning forward to kiss my cheek. "I'm not gonna leave you, ok? We have no meetings scheduled anyway so we can just sit around the office drinking coffee and playing eye spy."
"All nose to the grindstone then." I respond, arching an eyebrow. "I have all this therapy work to crack on with as well... I make it sound like I'm going to after school club."
"Ooh." She dips her head, flashing me a sultry gaze. "I'll make sure to keep you in line then."
Carla
"Alright?" I check as we walk down the street to Underworld, slipping my hand into hers.
"Yeah." She just murmurs, gazing ahead of her.
"Hey, the girls will be glad Sally's not bossing them around today." I nudge her playfully and she flashes me a distracted smile, her eyes focusing in on the Bistro. She comes to a stop, glued to the floor, swallowing hard. I decide to give her a second before gently pulling on her hand. "Chelle?"
"Mm." She just nods, snapping herself out of it and allowing me to guide her over to the entrance of the factory.
"Morning, morning." I address where they are all slumped around the steps, a lack of eagerness awaiting our arrival. I finally let go of Michelle's hand, finding my keys to open up. "Business resumes now."
"Have a nice duvet day, Mrs C?" Sean jokes and I shoot him a glare, causing him to retract, his smile fading. "Well, I'm glad you're back. Sally tried to cut our tea break five minutes short."
"No I didn't!" Sally objects.
"Oh how did you cope?" I smile, lacing my words with sarcasm and opening the door, stepping aside as they all start to pile in. "Coming?" I ask Michelle, looking down to where she is still stood on the cobbles. I hold my hand out and she smiles confidently, taking a few steps forward to slip hers back into mine, following me into the factory. "Right!" I clap my hands once I had graced the shop floor. "You know your projects. Everyone's working on Sid's order except Fiz and... Where's Sinead?"
"Hospital appointment." Beth informs me.
"Oh great, that's all we need!" I sigh.
"Well she did tell Sally yesterday." She folds her arms, adamant to stick up for her. "It must be important, she's been called in as a matter of urgency."
"Oh..." I suddenly feel bad for my selfishness. "Right well, Beth, you're on gussets then. Help Fiz with the Bellman's order. Did Sinead say whether she would be in today?"
"Depends what they tell her, isn't it?" She prompts me. "Might be something to do with the baby."
"Well fingers crossed it isn't." I flash her a supportive smile, turning on my heel and heading into the office, where Michelle was staring into space. "...Are you okay?" I ask softly, so as not to scare her.
"Are you going to ask me that every five minutes?" I can tell it was aggravating her, but she was trying to hold her temper. I just push past it, taking a seat at my desk and logging onto the computer. "Sorry... I know you're only trying to look after me."
"I'm not trying to look after you, you're not five." I remind her, a small smile on my cheeks, which she returns, pleased that I understood how she wanted to be treated. "Sally!" I call suddenly, which makes her jump and I hold my hand up. "Sorry sweetheart, sorry."
"Yes Mrs Connor, Mrs Connor." She addresses us as she swoops into the office.
"Give me the lowdown, what happened yesterday?" I flick through the files on my desk, reading the post-it-notes that had brightly decorated the edges of my computer screen. Sally didn't organise by halves.
"Oh well, we started on the Bellman's order. But Sinead didn't feel well, she had to go home." Sally informs me and I immediately roll my eyes.
"Great! What time was this?"
"Early afternoon."
"So we were a machinist down for that order yesterday and all." I scribble it down in my notepad, so that I would remember to record the absence. "Right, carry on."
"Paul Stokes called."
I look up inquisitively. "Oh yeah, what did he want?"
"Well we just had a bit of a chat really." She smiles nostalgically and I narrow my eyes.
"A bit of a chat?" I repeat, phrasing it slowly. "Sally, Paul Stokes doesn't call for 'a bit of a chat'. He's got six figures in his bank account, he didn't get that by having a gossip down the phone."
"Well he did ask to speak to you." She admits. "I said you would call him back at your earliest convenience."
"Right, call Paul Stokes." I scribble it down under Sinead's name. "Anything else?"
"Oh and Sid Altree popped in to check how the order is coming along." Sally reveals and I see Michelle shiver out of the corner of my eye. "I must say, he was very disappointed you weren't here though. Said he was hoping to have a word with Michelle."
"I bet he was." I mutter, casting my eyes down to the table. "Right, thanks Sal. That'll be all. Back to your machine then."
"Well if there's anything you need me to assist with today, then-"
"Actually there is something you can do, Sal." I call her back and her eyes light up suddenly at the idea of a responsibility. "Two coffees, ta."
"...Right." She just nods, her face falling as she turns to leave.
Michelle
"The amount of flamin' Christmas presents I'm gonna need to buy this year." Carla mutters, chewing on the end of her pen as she scans her computer screen.
"Well it's not as many as we'll be buying next year." I point out. "Or for the next eighteen years, at that."
"Oof... Christmas presents... That's gonna be hell on Earth isn't it?" She looks over at me, worry written into her expression.
"Yep." I nod, giving her no reassurance. "And then when they don't get what they want, all hell breaks loose. I remember when I was working part time in that cafe when Ryan was just five or so, he was demanding this big car maze thing... All the rage they were in his class apparently. Everyone had one. So he said." I witter on, surprised she is even listening, or pretending to. "Anyway, I went to the toy shop to inquire about it. One hundred and thirty pounds! I said to dad there's no way I can afford that, so I had to settle for this remote control car that was about fifty. That was about two days wages for me at the time. So Christmas morning he opened it up. No 'thank you mum', just burst into tears, threw the car over to the corner of the room and wouldn't leave his bedroom until I bribed him with chocolate."
"...Wow." Carla nods, looking positively terrified at the prospect. "Our kids do that and they're out the window, I'm telling ya."
"Well, I struck lucky you see because my parents only turned up with the thing he wanted later on." I continue. "Dad didn't tell me though did he? Ey? Let me and Dean go hours with a screaming kid when he could have put us all out of our misery."
"Mm..." Carla just mumbles, turning her attention back to the screen for a moment before finally releasing. "...What if the twins hate me?"
"Carla! Course they won't!" I assure her.
"Well I hated my mam."
"Well you're not going to spend your child benefit on vodka and give them mouldy bread and butter for dinner." I remind her and she pulls a face at the thought. "In fact, you're gonna be the complete opposite. You'll shock yourself at how well you pick it up, trust me, I did."
"Really?" She bites her lip nervously. "Even when I don't buy them the... toy... car... maze thing they want?"
"Pfft, you'll end up spoiling them like crazy, no worries of these two getting coal for Christmas." I reassure, watching her face settle slightly. I lean forwards, her gaze shifting to mine, my voice softening with sincerity. "You're going to be the best mum. I know it."
"I hope so." She reaches forward to squeeze my hand quickly.
"Cake run!" Beth opens the door without knocking and I roll my eyes, reaching for the petty cash tin. "Guessing you don't want anything?"
"Well you guessed wrong." Carla tells her, as I hand Beth a twenty pound note. "Can I have two eclairs please?"
"Oh no, I don't want one." I hold a hand up and Carla scowls in my direction.
"...Good. They're both for me." She flashes Beth a smile, who stares at her in confusion. "Thanks Beth, hurry back will you?"
"Well if anything's gonna make people clock on, it's that." I comment once Beth is out of ear shot.
"Michelle, it's the last assumption they would jump to." She laughs, going back to her computer. "Trust me."
Carla
"Ooh, chips in the street on a Tuesday?" I call out to Sarah, seeing where she was sat on the kerb, looking all-out miserable. "Living the life of Riley, you."
"Yeah not really." Sarah mutters and I stop in my tracks, leaning up against The Kabin inquisitively. "Your dad's only gone and sacked me."
"Ey?" I narrow my eyes at her. "What did you do?"
"Nothing! That's the whole point." She almost throws her chips in the air in a strop.
"...I don't follow."
"Ugh, I just don't want to be working in a pub." She whines. "He said I 'lacked enthusiasm in the job role'. And then something came up with Bethany and I had to take the day off... Only I forgot to tell them I needed the day off so I kinda... Left them in the lurch." She trails off, pondering everything for a moment. "And now David's hounding me for the rent, I owe Harry's nursery money for his meals and Christmas is coming up."
I pause, taking a step forwards and wincing as I dare to take a seat on the pavement next to her, reaching for a chip. She doesn't even acknowledge, just stares into space, weighing up her life. "So what is it you want to do?"
"Just... Something that makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life. Challenging myself, you know?" She sighs, glancing across at me. "You haven't got anything going at the factory have you?"
"...We might do as it happens." I pause in thought.
"I mean... I'm not really a dab hand at sewing but I can definitely try to learn."
"Mm, and that's your idea of 'doing something with your life', is it?" I raise an eyebrow. "We do have a vacancy, it's not a machinist job though."
Sarah screws her nose up. "...Packing?"
"No, not packing." I shake my head. "How are you at answering phones?"
Michelle
"So you just hired her? On the spot?" I argue, following Carla around the office like a lost dog while she tries to tidy the place up. "Carla! You didn't even interview her?"
"Well she's got potential." Carla dismisses me, leaning down to open the safe. "I did ask her a few questions."
"Like what?"
"Like... When can you start?" She stands back up again, flashing me a hopeful smile. "Baby. Take a moment to look at this place. It's a tip. We need a PA."
"Well we could have at least gone through the more experienced channels first!"
"Chelle. It's filing, taking messages and making cups of coffee." She sighs. "It's not an Olympic sport."
"Do you fancy her?" I stupidly ask and she lets out a scoff, turning on her heel to face me.
"Yes Chelle. You're correct. I fancy my ex-sister-in-law."
"Wouldn't be the first time." I smile slightly and she mirrors it contagiously.
"I do not fancy Sarah Platt." She takes a step forwards, placing her hands on her shoulders. "I fancy you."
"Well that's good." I lower my voice shyly, glancing at the clock. "Well it's ten to six so if you fancy me that much, why aren't we at home? In bed?"
"Don't have to ask me twice." She grins, grabbing her leather jacket from the back of her chair. "Chop chop then."
"You alright?" Carla traces her fingers over my naked frame, gazing at me lustfully.
"Ugh, I'm going to get an automated message recorded to respond to that question." I roll my eyes, pulling her down to kiss me.
"Well... I didn't want to push you." She whispers. "I thought you were going to panic for a moment there."
"Why?" My eyes flicker up to hers. "I'm safe with you. I gave you my full consent."
"Mm." She kisses me again, biting her lip wickedly when she pulls away. "Yeah, you definitely did that."
"Shut up." I grab the pillow, throwing it at her. She lets out a soft laugh, getting up from the bed without even wrapping the duvet around her and going over to the mirror. I stare at her, drinking in her beauty, complete, natural beauty, that nobody got to witness except for me. The silky, lightly tanned skin, the curve of her breasts, the way her hair fell effortlessly over her shoulders. Every crevice, every blemish, every inch of her was perfect, and I couldn't appreciate her more.
"Do you think I need Botox?" She snaps me out of my thoughts, pulling her face back in the mirror.
"No!" I say it so defensively she drops her hands, glancing over at me in the reflection. "I was actually just thinking about how perfect you are."
"See this..." She turns to the side, placing a hand just under her tummy. "...Look."
"Does that scare you?" I murmur, looking at the small bump that was so visible now there were no clothes to cover it.
"Terrifies me." She manages a nervous laugh, gazing at her reflection. "...What if they have to do a C-section and I have another scar?" She runs her finger over the faint indent where her kidney operation had been carried out. "I'm gonna look like a rag doll."
"You can hardly even see that one." I reassure her and she smiles, climbing back into bed and laying her head on my chest. I stroke her hair for a few moments, daring to whisper her name into the silence, "Carla?"
"Mm?"
"We're going to be ok, aren't we?"
"You know what?" She tilts her head up to face me, smiling softly. "I think we are."
A/N: Thought we could do with a bit of happiness after the last few chapters of emotional turmoil! Got something big planned storyline-wise for the next couple of chapters that I've been liaising with Nat (Brooklyn Blue) about and I'm really excited to reveal it hehe. Also, I'm sure you're reading her FAB fic 'Involved', but if not then get on that right away! Thanks for your support!
