Friday dragged on way too long for Remus, especially since he had stayed up super late the night before. In Potions, Remus had sent a note to Aegis asking to meet him in the trophy room at 5:30, and all day long he had been distracted, waiting for their meeting. He sorta wished he had asked to meet up during lunch, except he didn't think of that until halfway through History. He couldn't wait to show Aegis the discovery, and talk to him about it.
After Transfiguration, the Marauders went to their dorm to hang out. Remus sat at his desk, trying to do some homework to distract himself from Aegis and the chamber. The others put on some music however James was in the mood for something more than relaxation.
"I've been thinking," he said as he flopped back onto his bed, "we should start preparing for something to do for Valentine's day, it's only two and a half weeks away. I was thinking maybe trying to get our hands on some love potions."
"No!" Remus snapped at the same time Sirius said, "Yes!"
Remus pointed his quill at James. "No. That's really mean. How'd you like it if someone slipped you a love potion?"
"So? It'd be annoying but no big deal."
Remus sighed. "What if someone made you fall in love with someone awful?"
"It's just a potion, it'll wear off and wouldn't really mean anything anyway," James shot back with a smirk.
"What if someone made you fall for Snivellus?"
James sat upright, clutching his stomach and making retching noises. "Merlin, Remy, you can't say those sorts of things without warning!"
"I think I lost my appetite for the next fifty years," moaned Peter.
"Remus, you are truly evil," added Sirius. "Point taken. No love potion."
Remus sighed with relief, turning back to his homework.
"What if..." Peter started, then stopped. Everyone looked at him which made him go pink. "Nuthin'."
"Come on, Petey," James urged, "share your idea."
"It's dumb."
Sirius went over, knocking his knuckles lightly against Peter's head. "Share it anyway."
"Well. I was thinking of some cartoons I've seen—"
"What's that?" James asked.
Peter looked at Remus. "They're like... comics," Remus explained. "On the Muggle telly. They move and speak. It's like wizarding comics, but it's on the telly with sound too. It's hand drawn, not an actual live recording like some other Muggle shows." James nodded vigorously, and Remus narrowed his eyes.. "You don't understand, do you."
"Not a word," James laughed, flapping his hand towards Peter. "Continue, please."
Peter cleared his throat. "Anyway, when cartoon characters are in love—it, it's in comics too, really—but when it shows 'em in love, they get these big hearts floating over their head." Peter put his hands above him, cupping his hands to form a heart. "What if we can figure out a way to do that? Have hearts floating over everyone's head? Like, um, everyone, not just people in love."
Now all eyes were on Remus. "Er..." He began chewing at the end of his quill. "It would be fairly easy to come up with a spell to do that, however putting the spell on everyone is another matter entirely."
"It'd be like the bat-bogey thing last year," James said, snapping his fingers. "We could put it on the Great Hall doors!"
"That hurt Remy," Sirius said swiftly.
"Yeah, he kinda got unconscious after," Peter pointed out.
"I might be able to do better now, but I doubt I'd have the ability to sustain the spell long enough to enchant even half the students," he murmured, tapping the quill against his chin, forgetting he had it in his mouth a moment ago. He made a face and wiped his chin off on his sleeve.
"Maybe we could get an older student to help," Sirius suggested. "Seo-Yun might be able to!"
James nodded. "We'll figure out the logics of it later—"
"Logistics?" Remus suggested softly.
"—and in the meantime Remus can knock a spell out, and we'll try to come up with a backup plan in case we can't do it, or Kim can't help us," James finished. "Excellent idea, Petey."
Peter grinned. "I'm glad you liked it!"
Remus looked down at his parchment, wondering how on earth he was supposed to 'knock out' a spell in two weeks?! While he considered arguing—saying he couldn't—the least he could do was try. He pushed aside his homework to write down Peter's idea in his pranks notebook. He didn't feel like going to the library to start working on it yet, so he returned to his homework while the others chattered about the prank and danced to the music.
/\/\/\/\/\
Finally supper came and the Marauders left their dorm; Remus debated going to get a quick bite, however his stomach was too twisted up to even think about it. So he told the others he was going to go to the library early and went to the trophy room where he began pacing, twenty minutes before they were meeting. Or... hopefully meeting. Perhaps Aegis nodding at Remus after class wasn't really a confirmation. Maybe he was just nodding hello. Maybe he hadn't read the note, Remus had been distracted by James right after sending it so he hadn't seen. Aegis probably wasn't going to show up at all—
"Remus?"
He spun around as Aegis came in. "Hey," Remus said, smiling. "It—it's not f-five-thirty yet."
"No. When I saw you were not in the Great Hall I decided to come here," he replied, walking over. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes! Wait till—oh, c-come on, let's go in the passage." Remus hurried over to the portrait of Scrimgeour. "Beati pacifi." Scrimgeour gave him a wink as he opened up. The two boys clambered in, heading to the first pit which they sat down next to, wands lit. Remus tucked his wand behind his ear so he could pull the old copy of Hogwarts, a History out of his bag. "All right, yesterday we were relaxing in the passage, and Sirius dropped something down one of the—the pits. He and James went down to get it, and f-found the pit had a tunnel going off of it."
Aegis frowned. "A tunnel?"
"Uh-huh. We explored it. It—it d-didn't go far, just sort of... twisted around getting smaller. It ended in what looked like a c-cave in, but..." Remus turned the book around to face Aegis. "We found this in the tunnel."
"The... tunnel? Underground?"
"Yep. Someone was down there in the last fifty years."
Aegis took the book, running his fingers along the cover. "It is not surprising someone made the discovery though. It is interesting, but—"
"Nothing wild, right?" Remus asked, and Aegis gave an apologetic nod. "That's what I thought. It was kinda weird and interesting, not a huge deal. Until..." He opened the book, showing the jagged edges of where the pages had been ripped out. "This."
"Someone removed pages?"
"Yes."
Aegis gave Remus a smile. "I am assuming there is something special about these pages?" Remus pulled his own copy of the book out, and opened up to the same section without a word. Aegis's eyes slowly grew wider as he realized what Remus meant. "The Chamber of—"
"Secrets," Remus confirmed. "I think you might have been right. I think someone went down into those pits to look for it. Or... made them, looking for it."
"That really was only a guess before we knew they were in the mountains, you know that—"
"But why was this book down there? With the section about the Chamber missing?"
Aegis shook his head. "It is quite a mystery. Which pit?"
"It's..." Remus looked across the one they were next to. "It's nearly at the other end."
Aegis picked up Remus's copy to look at what little was written. "I wish we could go look, however I do not have a broom..."
Remus leaned back against the wall, trying to figure out a way to get down into the pits. "We could use a school broom?" he suggested.
Aegis shot him an amused look. "You are suggesting we nick a school broom?"
He made a face, tilting his hand back and forth in an 'eh' motion. "Borrow."
Aegis stared in disbelief then tipped his head back, laughing hard. "Merlin! I don't even know what to say to that. You are... I told you before, I never expected you to be like this. Such a troublemaker!"
Remus looked down, unsure how to respond. He hoped it wasn't in a bad way. What if Aegis decided he was too much of a troublemaker? Perhaps he should hide his... more mischievous side... that'd probably be the right thing to do. The best thing. "I—I—I was—was jo—jok—joking," he tried with a shaky smile.
Aegis raised his eyebrows. "No, you weren't."
Remus began fiddling with the end of his sleeve, feeling nauseated, feeling like he had made a huge mistake. He had been too casual. Too... himself. He shouldn't have done that. Being around the Marauders was really affecting the way he interacted with others. Despite still having uneasiness with some aspects of his personality showing (like chasing Sirius the other day), he was getting quite comfortable around them. That being said… it didn't mean he should risk being comfortable with others. He and Aegis weren't super close. He needed to do better about hiding his thoughts and personality, so Aegis wouldn't hate him. Not that he really deserved to be liked.
"I—"
Aegis suddenly reached out, then stopped, hand hovering a few inches from Remus's arm. "It's okay. I am amused. Not annoyed, if that is what has upset you." His voice was kinda tense, and Remus could tell his muscles were tight.
"I—I'm—I'm—I'm n-not upset," Remus lied.
"I am... I'm sorry. I was meaning it in a good way, I promise, I didn't mean to say troublemaker in a bad manner."
"No, r-really it's—"
"Please, I am very sorry—"
They broke off, looking at each other, knowing perfectly well this cycle would continue until one of them broke down.
"Your... ah, shall I say, Marauder nature is very admirable," Aegis said firmly. "It simply goes entirely against what you seem."
"I... I t-try not to be—I do try to be—"
"Quiet and unassuming?" Remus nodded. "Understandable." Now he began messing with the end of his sleeve. "I am in a similar boat as you, when it comes to... that sort of thing." Then his cheeks went pink, and he forced a smile on his face. "I'm rambling now."
"No, you're—you're fine."
The air definitely felt very awkward now; it took a few minutes and the beginning of a conversation about the Chamber of Secrets before both boys started feeling a little better. Neither knew much about the chamber at all, mostly what was written in Hogwarts, a History, which wasn't much at all. Remus had found a few other books over the past few weeks however, they all pretty much went over the same few scraps of information.
"I could try to ask some of the other Slytherins," Aegis said as they finally got to their feet, dusting their robes off.
"Only if you f-feel comforta—table," replied Remus, not wanting Aegis to get anyone mad, not with the way he was (seemingly?) bullied.
Aegis easily guessed what Remus really meant, and said, "Not all of them hate me. It's..." He trailed off with a sigh, exiting out of the secret passage first. He turned, watching Remus emerge. "I can ask around."
"If you're sure."
"I am," he promised, smiling broadly. It looked like a genuine smile. "Now then, are we nicking a broom or...?"
Oh right, I casually mentioned stealing earlier, he realized, rubbing his jawline. A moment when his Marauderness had taken over. "Ah, well... I'm not—that isn't—"
They left the trophy room but before Remus could make a decision one way or another (he knew what he wanted, which was to borrow a broom, even though he knew they shouldn't) they turned a corner and literally ran into someone.
"Watch where you're going freaks!"
It was Snape, glowering fiercely at both boys.
"I am sorry," Aegis said pleasantly.
Snape narrowed his eyes. "You know, Silverlocke, you aren't helping your reputation by hanging out with someone like that." Snape nodded towards Remus.
"Considering how you have been treating me since day one, I am rather surprised to find you concerned over my 'reputation'," Aegis replied. Snape flushed slightly while Remus didn't bother hiding his snicker.
Snape held his chin up. "I thought I should offer some advice, seeing as how you haven't any friends in Slytherin. With the company you keep... I doubt it will happen anytime soon."
"Person-n-nally I ch-choose my f-friends by if I—I-I like them or—or not," Remus said, folding his arms. "If you're only p-p-picking f-friends b-based on how they'll mm-m-make you look, that's—that's selfish and—and—and rather mercenary."
Snape pretended to look at a nonexistent watch halfway through Remus's words. When he finished, Snape lowered his arm. "Took you long enough, Loopy. And... what? It was by pure chance that you happened to like Potter and Black? Let's see..." Snape folded his hands together, pressing them against his lips. "Extremely rich pureblood from an ancient line annnnnnd oh look! Another rich pureblood from an ancient line! Not to mention the fact they are both, for some unfathomable reason, well-liked."
"Sh—shut up!"
"Really, Loopy? The richest pureblood heir in the entire country? That was mere coincidence, was it?"
Remus curled his hands into fists, feeling anger rising quickly up. "Stop—sh-shut—up—that's—I didn't—"
Snape took a long stride closer to Remus who backed up until he was against the wall, Snape in his face. "You think they actually like you? You?" He looked down at Remus's worn, tattered robes and uniform, then quickly back up into his eyes. "Loony Lupin? How often do you do their homework?'
"That's enough, Snape—" Aegis tried.
Snape ignored him. "How many of their good grades are really from you?" He leaned in close, nose practically touching Remus's face, black eyes glittering; the wolf inside Remus began stirring, stretching out, growing absolutely vengeful. It was urging Remus to attack. Not with his wand, but physically; to jump on Snape and rip his jugular out. He could practically taste the blood in his mouth. "Potter and Black are too arrogant to care about anyone but themselves, let alone a pathetic thing like you. Once they're done with you, you'll be kicked to the side—"
"Just b-b-because people aren't w-willing to p-put—put up with you d-d-doesn't mean it's l-like that for—for everyone!" Remus spat out.
Snape stared at Remus in furious shock and the next thing Remus knew, Snape's wand was out. He grabbed Remus by the front of his robes, yanking him to the side, moving him away from the wall. Remus grabbed his wand, trying to put up a shield. He didn't manage in time. The flipendo curse slammed into him and he went flying back several feet into the far wall. His head snapped back, hitting the wall hard enough to cause a burst of light in his vision. He slumped to the ground, hands clutching his head as he moaned in pain. He heard Aegis's cry of protest, and Snape's soft laughter. By the time he could see properly Aegis was crouched in front of him trying to help him up, and Snape was long gone.
"'m ok," Remus panted out.
"No you're not!" Aegis said, taking Remus's wrist, forcing his hand down so he could see the blood smeared across his fingers.
Remus's head itched slightly, and he knew he was already healed. "I—I have healing salve in my dorm." He really didn't want to go to Pomfrey, not when he had been there not too long ago for a head wound. "Besides, it—I d-don't want... her to know someone hexed me."
"You are not going to snitch?" Aegis asked as they walked down the corridor.
Remus recalled the vaguely recent interaction with Macdonald. "Would you?" Aegis chewed at his nails, not saying anything; Remus pulled his hood up to hide the blood. "I'll be fine," he promised and Aegis frowned. "I will. I swear."
"I... all right..." They stopped at the main staircase, watching as one of the flights of stairs drifted lazily into a new position. "I'm sorry."
"F-for what?"
Aegis wrapped his arms around himself, gaze sliding away from Remus's. "Not helping you. For doing nothing but standing there, like a useless idiot. I am quite a coward."
"You aren't a coward just because you don't want to fight," Remus said.
"You've stood up for me before, I should do the same!"
Remus shook his head, then pretended to wind as he remembered it would probably still hurt. "Look, my—my temper gets the better of me. It's probably good you're able to quell yours so well."
"Also known as being a coward, or a doormat."
"You did try to get him to back off," Remus pointed out.
Aegis shrugged. "Perhaps." He was obviously still miserable and Remus had no idea what to say to cheer him up. He wanted to say something like, everyone was different, or something about the houses having different traits, however considering how little pride Aegis took in being a Slytherin, Remus doubted that'd be a good idea. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital wing?"
"Positive."
"All right, then. I shall see you—ahh. We missed Study Group."
Remus looked at the watch on Aegis's wrist. It was nearly seven! "Oops."
"I'll see you later, Remus."
"See you, Aegis. And really, it—it's fine, you were fine back there."
Remus hopped onto one of the stairs going up right as it started turning. He clutched at the railing, feeling dizzy as it moved through the air. Most students continued walking up or down as it moved, which Remus hated doing; it made him too ill. Finally, the stairs locked into place and Remus hurried up, winding his way up through the castle until he got to the Gryffindor tower. None of his friends were around which, considering the blood on him, was probably a good thing.
One hot shower later Remus was lying under his bed, arms wrapped around his pillow as he went over Snape's words. They had dug down into him in a way he hoped Aegis hadn't noticed. Words that echoed deep inside of him, and hearing Snape say them had dragged them to the surface.
Even knowing the blood pact they had made on Halloween night, even knowing their reactions to him being a werewolf, even knowing all the proclamations of friendship and camaraderie... he was still scared they'd abandon him. Because he was so strange and unusual. Because he had such a hard time being a human. Because all he did was cause messes and force his friends to deal with his burdens—to put them through things they didn't deserve to go through, to shove the weight of responsibility down on them; they deserved to be free instead of shackled to a filthy monster. He was scared sooner or later they'd realize this, soon they'd grow tired of his abnormality, tired of having to constantly live with his problems. They knew he was a werewolf and insisted they still cared, yet he couldn't help feel that if he did something wrong it'd all be over. Like, they only needed one more excuse. That couldn't be normal—the constant fear—could it?
They were wrong, these thoughts. They had to be wrong. Probably were wrong. He trusted the other Marauders. Just because James was rich didn't mean anything. It was a coincidence.
Unless, they're using you, a small voice whispered.
They're not, he thought back, then remembered Sirius pushing for them to give James the 'sorry we were idiots' presents then promptly coping the essay Remus had written.
He tried to get up, forgetting where he was and banging his head in almost the same spot that had gotten injured earlier. Cursing, he wriggled out from under his bed in order to throw himself into some schoolwork. Trying to get the thoughts out of his head, trying not to dwell too much on what... probably... wasn't true.
But he couldn't stop thinking of all of them looking at him earlier to figure out the technical side of the prank, to come up with a spell that would work. They had automatically looked at him to fill in the gaps, like they always did. Did they... were they...?
No, he thought, gritting his teeth. It's Snape's nasty mouth spewing filth, and your fears lying to you.
He knew that was true... but part of him was still scared.
/\/\/\/\/\
The Marauders stayed up super late that night, taking over a corner of the common room; since it was Friday, a lot of students were staying up. To Remus's annoyance, the girls joined them. Sirius had nicked some butterbeer from an older student's dorm and James had fetched loads of snacks. They were playing James's record player, having a good time. Remus sat in an armchair, gripping his cup of butterbeer, considering going back to the dorm because he really didn't want to deal with expending energy trying to be normal. After what happened with Aegis earlier in the day he was even more hyper aware than usual about how he came across, and having Colgate, Inkwood, and Magpie around made it even more difficult. He was emotionally drained, and irritated from the encounter with Snape earlier... as well as still trying to get rid of those awful thoughts...
Not to mention a raging on-and-off headache. He did excuse himself, claiming to need the loo, and ran upstairs to put in the earplugs. He stood in front of the mirror for a moment, fluffing out and adjusting his hair until all visible signs of the earplugs were hidden before he returned downstairs. The earplugs helped a little, at least. When he reappeared, Lily motioned for him to join the dancing which he shook his head at, retreating to his armchair. She shrugged, going back to dancing with Peter, both of them laughing.
Magpie wasn't dancing either, she sat in the chair next to Remus, trying to make conversation. He did his best to converse back but because of a culmination of... of everything, his stutter got more and more pronounced every time he tried to talk, until he could see the slight frustration in her face as he struggled to finish a sentence. Then she tried to finish some of his sentences for him, which was even worse.
"I f-f-found—found th-that—that—the—the use of—of—the use of—t-t-tr-t—tran—tr—"
"Transfiguration spells?" Magpie offered.
Remus swallowed, gripping the cup tighter. "Y-y-y—y-yes. In his w-w-works have—have al—always been—been s—been sy—sy—s—"
"Symbolic? I agree, Wickburn is absolutely incredible the way he does that!" Magpie said brightly. "When Olrek used the spell to transfigure the dove... I about died."
Remus had too, when he first read The Fallen Dragon, but when he tried to say that the words stuck in his throat while his tongue felt like it swelled, making it impossible to talk. Magpie glanced at him, and he gave a half-smile, quickly taking a sip of butterbeer, nodding a bit, hoping that would suffice. He looked away from her, at Lily and Peter, James and Colgate, and Sirius and Inkwood... who were dancing very close together, probably closer than a teacher would like.
Closer than Remus liked.
Ugh, he thought miserably, trying to banish those thoughts, trying not to feel... whatever this was, trying not to care that they were dancing so close. It didn't matter that they were, because boys and girls could do that, it was okay; besides, someday soon he'd want to do that, dance close with some girl.
He quickly took another sip and pushed himself farther back into the chair, wondering if it would be too rude to run off. He could claim he had an awful headache. The girls would at least believe that, then later he could tell the guys he was getting uncomfortable. That's when he realized Magpie was trying to talk to him again, asking about Wickburn's latest book which he hadn't read because new books were too expensive (and the library hadn't gotten it in).
"I—I'm sorry, I d-d-don't—I—I d-don't f-f-feel—feel—don't feel—feel w—don't—"
"Feel well?" Magpie asked.
Remus clenched his teeth, trying not to get irritated at her still trying to finish his sentences. "Y-y-yes." He got up, telling the others he had a headache and needed to go lay down. Lily offered some headache potion she had to which he lied, saying he had some of his own. The other Marauders were giving him suspicious looks. He just smiled and hurried off, rushing away from the hot common room and loud(ish) music.
The dorm room was warm from the heater, though not as bad as the common room. Remus quickly changed into pajamas and threw himself into bed. The day had started very promising with the thought of figuring out the passage stuff with Aegis but otherwise most of the day had been kicking Remus over and over.
Hopefully tomorrow goes better, he thought, burying his head under his pillow.
