AN: "Sometimes The World Is Way Too Loud", title from Lonely Dance by Set It Off.


Fumbling for the nearest disc, you put it on without caring what's on it, only that it's loud, and turn the volume on your stereo up to full. One of Vanessa's screaming bands blares from the speakers. Right now, the sound is welcome, if only to drown out your own thoughts, and your voice saying them.

Ears ringing, you return to your half-built inator. Maybe now you can get it done before Perry the Platypus shows up. That would be nice, to be prepared for your thwarting today.

He shows up early anyway, touching your leg so you know he's here. How can he be so casual about everything?

You swallow, shaking your head and turning back to the inator. You're not ready. Haven't even finished your inator, let alone started on your monologue. It's always been easier to plan your monologue when you know what the inator's supposed to do.

All he does is nod like that's somehow a reasonable request, even though it can't be because it's coming from you, and then take a seat over by the edge of the room. He doesn't give any indication he's heard any of your muttering to yourself either, not that he ever does. At least he's not asking about it.

What would you even say to him if he did? No, better that he's not bringing it up, you're not sure you could monologue right now anyway.

Putting him out of your mind, you turn your attention back to your inator, blinking away the tears you're too weak to stop. Pathetic, that's what you are. A schnitzel. Can't take over the Tri-State Area, can't move on from your backstories, can't even get your inator done on time. You don't deserve a nemesis like him. Like Perry the Platypus. He is so competent, so professional, so easy to appreciate, everything you are not. Everything you could never be.

The only thing you have to show for your efforts, for your whole entire life, is your daughter. She's the best thing to ever happen to you, and you wish you could have been a better father. Instead, you're standing here, your nemesis watching you struggle not to fall apart again.

You don't know how to not be a failure.

Tears blur your eyes again and you hammer harder at the inator's casing. Catching a finger under it, you curse yourself with the words you don't dare use for anyone else, only because you know Perry the Platypus won't hear them. They're not for him.

He's right beside you anyway, taking your injured hand in his gentle paws and tracing his fingers across your skin, looking up at you with that sad expression you hate seeing on his face. Pulling out a plaster from who-knows-where, he wraps it around your finger. He knows as well as you do that it won't do anything, your arms are still as titanium as they were last week, but he's doing it anyway.

Why does he even bother? It's not like you're anyone special, just the guy he beats up every day, just his nemesis. He's supposed to hate you, isn't he? So why is he suddenly acting all concerned?

Wrenching your hand free, you turn your back on him and pick up your tools again, gritting your teeth. You almost regret turning the music up this loud, now. Depriving yourself of your words, while he's never needed them... not your best decision ever. That's why you refuse to look at him. Maybe if you ignore him he'll get bored and leave. You can only hope. Being alone again has to be better than this, you're sure of it.

His weight presses against your leg instead and you freeze in place, trembling. What does he want? Why can't he just leave you alone, like everyone else does, you're used to that. But no, he's staying, his little arms wrapped around your shin, and you want to kick him off but he's not even thwarting you so you can't. Why does he have to care so much?

Falling to the floor, your knees giving out from under you, you shove Perry the Platypus away and press your back to the inator. Why couldn't he just leave? You suck in air, heart racing. All you wanted was some peace from your thoughts.

Now, he's seeing you like this. Weak, pathetic, a failure. A schnitzel. Evil science was supposed to be the one thing you're not terrible at, something you could show Mother and have her be proud of, and you can't even do that. What are you even good for if you can't even make a simple inator without screwing up? Mother was right, you don't deserve kindness.

You cover your face, a screwdriver still clutched in one hand, trying to stop the tears running down your cheeks. The thought he might see them is too much to bear. Would he leave? Abandon you, like so many others? Or would he pity you? You're not sure which is worse.

All you have left is that he can't hear your sobs over the music. You can't hold them in any more, your breath catching, but there's still a chance he doesn't know. Isn't there?

Then he pulls your hand down and you can't pretend any more.

A fresh wave of tears blurs your vision so you can't even tell what he's thinking, and you hate yourself for it. Crying in front of your nemesis. The one thing you'd told yourself you'd never do and here you are, breaking yet another promise. You wouldn't blame him if he decides you're not worth the trouble. The only to blame would be yourself, for lying to him for this long, for taking up his time when he could be fighting someone else. Someone better.

He's still staring at you, and while you can't see his expression, you can clearly picture the contempt he's sure to have on his face by now, the way his lip would curl. Or, not lip, whatever platypuses have. Whatever. The point is, this is you he's looking at, why wouldn't he look down on you now that he knows the truth?

Literally look down on you, he's walking closer and you have to look up to keep him in view now, and then he's-

Is he hugging you?

Burying your face in his shoulder, you hold him close, belatedly realising you didn't push him away when you should have. Why didn't you? Probably because you're so pathetic, like Mother always used to tell you. You're pathetic and he's still here, a solid weight on your chest, and for the first time today you feel like you can actually breathe.

You can't bring yourself to complain like you should so you let it happen, filling your lungs with the familiar scent of his fur until it hurts, hoping he stays a few minutes longer. It's been so long since anyone hugged you. Since anyone wanted to. Does he-

No, don't think about that. Don't think at all. Enjoy it while it lasts, because you won't have it for long.

By the time the disc finishes, you've almost convinced yourself he does mean this. His little paw rubs circles into your shoulder, his tail's wrapped around your waist, and he's... purring? Platypuses can purr? You're not complaining, it's comforting, like being back with the ocelots, you're just surprised. He doesn't seem like the type. And by type you mean, well, ocelot.

Tracing patterns into his soft fur, you swallow, working up the nerve to tell him to go. He has to leave eventually, and it's easier when it's your idea. Deep breath, lift your head, speak. "Perry the Platypus-"

He cuts you off with a kiss. Well, not really a kiss, more smooshing his bill against your lips, but even you can't deny that's what he's going for.

And you're selfish. You take what little affection you get, every scrap you don't even deserve to have, and hold it close to your heart. So of course you're going to kiss him back. You may not deserve to, but what kind of dummkopf wouldn't take the opportunity to kiss Perry the Platypus?

"Why-" you mumble into his mouth, your traitorous voice ruining the moment, just like it always does. Can't even stay quiet for one minute. This is why you needed to drown it out, because you can't-

His thumb brushes over your cheek, wiping away your tears, and you're not used to anyone caring about you. Or touching you at all, thwartings aside. You don't deserve it. The only physical contact you're supposed to get is when he's fighting you, but here he is, doing it anyway.

Weak as you are, you whimper, leaning into his little hand. You forgot how gentle he can be when he's not kicking your hiney. "Stay?" The word slips out before you think, your voice rough from crying, and you curse yourself. You're a dummkopf. That's the opposite of what you should be asking for, why aren't you asking him to leave? Why can't you just accept you're supposed to be alone?

Taking your head in his paws, he nods, and... is he smiling? He is. Why would he be smiling at you though, it's not like you're anything special, just a failure of an evil scientist-

An evil scientist who's kissing his nemesis. That's what you're doing, because he was so close and you've wanted to for so long, even though you don't deserve it. You don't. The sooner he realises that, the better. He deserves a better nemesis, a better friend, someone who's not you-

"Why me?" you mumble into him, your voice cracking. Where did he get the idea you were anything other than what you are?

He takes your hand in his paws now, bringing your injured finger to his bill. It has just as much of an effect as the plaster did, that being nothing, but from the look in his eye it's clear he knows that. So why does he bother?

Then he moves your hand to his neck, your thumb across his throat, and you wince. Why does he think you'd hurt him? Sure, you're his nemesis, even if you don't deserve to be, but there are rules. You're supposed to trap him first, and give him your monologue- Does he want you to hurt him? Brushing your thumb over his cheek instead, since he's not letting you pull your hand away, you watch his expression.

From the look he gives you, that's the exact point he's trying to make. That you won't hurt him. Unless he's thwarting you, but that's different. He's asking to be hurt when you're fighting him. Mostly by hurting you, and he's not doing that now so he's not asking.

For him to do this, to hold your hand to his neck... "Do you... trust me?" you have to ask, hard as that is to believe. It's the only thing that makes sense. "Is that it?"

He nods, touching his bill to your nose.

"Perry the Platypus," you mumble, and you're not going to let him interrupt you, not this time. This is too important. Tears prick at your eyes, and you let them fall, too tired to hide them. Too tired to keep pretending. Your hands come up to settle in his soft fur, anchoring yourself with his steady presence. "I... I'm not up to thwarting today. Sorry to disappoint-"

Rolling his eyes, he climbs into your lap and stays there, making himself comfortable, like he has no intention of leaving. And he's purring again. Seriously, since when can he purr? He's a platypus, not an ocelot, not like you-

Except you can't even purr. All you are is a failure of an ocelot, a failure of an evil scientist- You push that out of your mind. Not the time, Heinz. "You're sure?"

He stretches across your chest with a yawn, arms curling loosely around the back of your neck, more at ease than you've ever seen him. That's your answer, apparently. He's sure. Of course he is, he's Perry the Platypus, you've never known him to hesitate. Even when it's you.

Selfishness wins out and you hold him tight, taking what you don't deserve, what he's giving you anyway. Maybe one day you'll be able to repay him. For now, you breathe, your thoughts finally falling silent.


AN: Reviews appreciated!