Jenny was lying in the dark, her thoughts going round in circles inside her head, Leonard's solid presence against her back, his arms tightly wrapped around her, the only thing keeping her from going insane, his even breathing and occasional gentle snore soothing her like no meditation tape ever could.

Despite having had enough sleep this afternoon already, she'd dozed off for a moment after their exquisite lovemaking, but now she was as wide awake as anyone could be, her thoughts ricocheting between fearful speculations of what might lie ahead of her, and tender memories of only minutes ago.

Making love to Leonard, and having him make love to her, was always glorious. But tonight, he'd really tried to outdo himself. And successfully so, she smiled to herself, sighing contentedly and backing up even closer against his chest, revelling in the way his arms closed a little tighter around her every time she moved, his endearing protectiveness, even in his sleep, never failing to fill her heart with a kind of love she hadn't known existed before she'd met the doctor.

It had been one of their mind-blowing nights, with Leonard being unfailingly considerate even in the throes of passion. His mild dirty talk - toned down for her sake, no doubt - and gentle swearing, always such a turn-on and so different from the way he was outside of bed, had been hotter and more erotic than ever. His touch remaining gentle and tender, even as he loved her as roughly and possessively as she craved him to. A predator who could make you feel safe and cherished while ravaging you in the most delicious way.

But she felt there had been more to it tonight. The urgency and intensity of his lovemaking, the way he'd looked at her, held her, almost as if he were afraid it could be the last time. Now there was a really frightening thought. Was he afraid of losing her? And why? She was aware that he probably hadn't told her everything. Spock had made it very clear that she would have to remember the details on her own. But she'd felt that Leonard was really worried, that he wanted to protect her from something he knew. But what did he know that she didn't?

Stop imagining things! Jenny admonished herself. He's always worried, this was just his way of showing you how much he loves you, no matter what.

It sure had taken her mind off everything else, just as he'd probably intended in the first place, if she knew him at all. And just what he'd needed, too. Because it was always their troubles, their problems, their worries, never hers, she thought affectionately.

Before Leonard, Jenny had never thought it possible that anyone could take her fears, her pains, her worries to heart the way he did. But he'd always taken everything concerning her very personally. Even long before they'd been in a relationship. She vividly remembered the night she'd told him about that unpleasant experience with her friend's father, smiling at the memory of how the doctor had got all worked up about it.

And the night after in the cave. How careful he'd been not to do anything that might even remotely be considered indecent. And yet, how tenderly he'd ended up holding her. How safe and protected she'd felt in his arms that night. How geborgen. And how unspeakably happy. It was still one of her most treasured memories, one of the most perfect moments of her life, sending the warmest, most loving feelings through her whole being every time she recalled it.

And right now, Jenny was feeling the same way. Sure, she was still scared of all the things she might find out about herself, her past, afraid of the hurt, the emotional fallout, and that Leonard might be disappointed or worse. But no matter what might come to light, she just didn't see him turning away from her in disgust. He even still wanted to marry her, convinced that there was nothing he could find out about her that would change his mind. Or his feelings for her. There hadn't been the slightest hesitation in his voice when he'd said that. Quite the contrary, he'd been actually stung by her questioning it.

She simply knew that he'd always stand by her, always protect and help her, absolutely certain that his love was strong enough to overcome anything. That she could always count on him no matter what. Because even without a mind-meld, Leonard seemed to see right into her soul. He might tell her how beautiful she was all the time, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't love to hear that from him. But it was clear that he really saw past her looks, past her body, and that he loved what he saw underneath even more. By far the greater compliment and filling her with a strong sense of gratitude.

Gratitude to fate for bringing them together, for giving her a place in his heart and in his life. Because whatever lay ahead of her, she'd manage with him by her side. Leonard always knew what to do. He'd even come up with the idea of the mind-meld, fully prepared to face and overcome his own fears for her. As long as she was with him, she'd be safe. It had always been like that. He was her guardian angel.

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy was sifting through reports and supply requests in sickbay, his mind only half on the task, a constant stream of questions and theories seeming to circulate through his body in his bloodstream and ending up in a tight knot in his belly.

When he'd woken up that morning, wrapped around Hope's delicate, familiar frame, he'd experienced a blissful moment of serenity, his body and mind still tingling with the heavenly pleasures of the evening before. But within seconds, it had all come back to him, and Hope's eyes, trying so hard to conceal her inner turmoil, had of course only fuelled the churning in his stomach.

"Thank you for always being there for me," she'd said in that small voice she unconsciously used when she was feeling afraid and insecure, twisting his heart.

"Where else would I be, love?" he'd asked, gently cupping her face in his hand and gazing at her intently, needing her to understand that he would never, ever, turn his back on her, his chest tightening at the almost guilty look on her face.

"I know, I'm sorry," she'd chuckled, briefly closing her eyes as she'd leaned into his touch, a gesture so endearing and familiar, he was nearly washed away by the huge wave of tenderness it generated. "It's just, I never meant for my silly flashbacks to turn into such a big deal. But, boy, am I ever glad to have you along for the ride!"

"Never apologise for needing me," he'd replied, almost crushed by the sudden desire to simply wrap her up and keep her safe, then added with a smile, as he remembered what she'd told him before Iridis. "I might not be able to, or even want to, protect you from living your life, but I can sure as hell be by your side every step of the way. Maybe you still don't get how serious I am about you, how important you are to me. And maybe you never will. But believe me when I say that being there for you is my reason for living. All I want is for you to be happy and safe."

He might have been a bit over-emotional, a little over-dramatic there, but judging from Hope's expression and the passionate kiss that followed, his words had been exactly what she'd needed to hear at the time. Something to hold on to, the rock to cling to, throughout the rapids of her past and whatever they might bring to the surface with every new memory that emerged.

Seeing how flustered and on edge she was, McCoy had suggested taking her off duty for the day, wanting her to take it easy, but she'd quickly convinced him that, if he could work his shift, then so could she. Besides, he couldn't disagree when she'd pointed out that the best she could hope for until Spock's requested data arrived, was to be too busy to allow her mind to dwell on all kinds of constantly changing, increasingly absurd speculations.

In typical Hope manner, while they'd been getting dressed, she'd even made him laugh by coming up with silly jokes about her situation.

"Just imagine," she'd told him, eyes wide in mock-amazement, "if I actually were forty-five, I'd be older than the captain!"

Then she'd squinched up her face in that adorable way she had whenever a particularly funny thought struck her, and the doctor's heart had melted when he'd heard genuine giggles coming out of her mouth.

"And even better," she'd snorted, falling into his arms and laughing so hard, all he'd been able to do was hold her and lovingly nuzzle her hair, until she'd recovered enough to speak again. "I'd actually be old enough to be Pavel's mother!"

McCoy smiled at the memory. Trust Hope to find something hilarious in any situation, some reason to be cheerful, even when her whole life as she knew it was threatening to fall apart.

-x-x-x-x-x-

It was early afternoon, when Kirk and Spock showed up in his office, their faces, no, make that Jim's face, serious and grim. Without preamble, the captain plonked himself down into the chair opposite the doctor's, while the first officer remained hovering in the background.

"Would you have told me eventually, Bones?" Kirk asked in an accusing tone, the irritation plain on his face. "Or was I just lucky that you got Spock involved?"

McCoy opened his mouth to answer, but the captain held up a hand to silence him and, heaving a sigh, went on, "Anyway, I sent a message to Dakunia requesting complete clarification of the situation last night, and his reply and offer of a subspace conference at 1500 hours just came in."

"That fast?" the doctor muttered, once again impressed by Jim's ability to get quick results. "Your request must have really hit a nerve!"

"Well," the captain grinned smugly, his earlier irritation giving way to sincere concern for his friend and Hope, "I might have implied that I'm not happy at all with more mysteries regarding Hope coming to light, and that I wouldn't hesitate to go through all the official channels and make this a very public issue, if he failed to co-operate."

"Good on you, Jim!" McCoy smiled, feeling immensely blessed to have the unfailing support of friends like Kirk and Spock. "I'll go get Hope."

"Don't!" the captain stopped him. "Not just yet. Spock and I have decided to talk to Dakunia alone first. Just the three of us."

"We have no idea what the admiral is going to tell us, Doctor," the first officer spoke up, and the doctor nodded reluctantly. "Nor do we know if he is planning to tell us the whole truth this time. I believe it would be better not to expose Lt. Hope to his explanations before we have a chance to verify them."

"You're right, Spock," McCoy agreed with a sigh, grateful for the Vulcan's prudence and touched by his thoughtfulness, then chuckled dryly, "I'd better try to stay out of Hope's way until then, because she'll know something's up the moment she sees me."

"How fortunate then, that she will be 'tied up', as you'd say, in a meeting of her own until at least 1700 hours today," the first officer said with his straightest Vulcan face. "I've just asked her and her colleagues to help me with a particularly urgent linguistic matter, which has only come up this afternoon."

Kirk and McCoy turned to look at Spock as one, the doctor searching the Vulcan's face for any trace of smugness while the captain beamed at him with unconcealed admiration.

"You're a sly fox, Mr. Spock," McCoy muttered under his breath, feeling a pang of deep affection for his friend. "Why do I keep underestimating you?"

"Indeed, why do you, Doctor?" Spock replied, raising a quizzical eyebrow and allowing the corners of his mouth to curl into the merest hint of a smile before turning around and making to leave sickbay with a polite nod at Kirk.

"Indeed, why do you, Bones?" the captain echoed, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he clapped an amused hand on his friend's back, then followed on his first officer's heels, calling over his shoulder, "See you at 1500 hours in the main briefing room!"

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy couldn't remember feeling this nauseous with nerves since his finals at medical school. But sitting here in the briefing room now, waiting to hear whatever Dakunia had to tell them, it was as if his stomach had been turned inside out. When Jim offered to poor him coffee, it was all he could do not to throw up in the captain's face.

The sheer number of possibilities of what he was about to learn, all the atrocities Starfleet might have put Hope through, was doing his head in. He would have liked to get up and pace, but he needed to keep calm, and his wits about him for Jenny's sake. He had to be at his most alert, prepared to hear all sorts of incredible stories and excuses, and be able to sniff out half-truths, maybe even downright lies.

Considering all that he'd found out with Spock's help so far, he couldn't even begin to imagine what might be a plausible explanation. How any of this could turn out making sense at all. Of course, he'd come across the most incredible phenomena out here in space, things he'd never have thought possible, had he not seen them with his own eyes. And he was well aware that there were still way more things beyond his comprehension than there were cells in his body.

He knew that nothing was impossible, and that things were rarely as they seemed. But he also knew from the bottom of his heart that there was nothing fake or deceptive about Hope. That she was as real, sincere and straightforward as anyone could be. That however she'd really ended up in this century, and he'd always suspected that this unconvincing leukaemia story was not the true reason, would come as much as a surprise to her as it would to him.

It was up to him to make sure Dakunia didn't fob them off with more fabricated stories. Hope was depending on him to find out the whole truth this time. To get Dakunia to admit everything, so she could finally make sense of all her flashbacks and déjà vus and stop worrying about her sanity. Whatever the real story behind all this, the only thing that really mattered was that she was here now. Healthy, happy, successful. And wonderful. He would do everything in his power to help her get to terms with whatever she'd have to deal with. Whatever it took to help her finally leave the past behind and move on.

She might never be the same again, of course. The missing pieces of her past would certainly change her in ways he couldn't yet predict. But they couldn't change her personality, the amazing person she was. Nothing could change her love of life, her brilliance, her kindness. And he dearly hoped that it wouldn't change her love for him. Or take her away from him. Because no matter how well he understood that she might want to go back to her family one day, how much more her sons certainly needed her than he did, just the idea of losing her made it almost impossible for him to breathe.

Rubbing his face with shaking hands, vaguely aware of Kirk's concerned glances, he pulled himself back to the present, forcing his brain to drop all unhelpful thoughts and stop expecting the worst. Especially, since he really had no idea what the actual truth behind all this might turn out to be. He needed to get his act together for the upcoming conversation with Dakunia. For Hope's sake.

Anything for Hope, he whispered inaudibly, as the monitor in the middle of the briefing room table flickered to life.