A Marauder's Guide to Falling Forever

PART FOUR

Written by alliegrl


Chapter Twenty Six

Seeing Lily and James in person was much nicer than seeing their reflection in the mirror. Lily was looking much more lively than the last time Marlene had visited, and though the stress of the situation still sat heavy on all of their minds, the smiles the Potters offered at their arrival were nothing short of genuine and happy.

"I miss this," Lily admitted after pulling away from a generous hug. "I didn't realize how much I valued face to face time until I didn't have the opportunity for it anymore."

"I can only imagine," Marlene confessed. "I can visit you more if you'd like."

"As much as we would love that," James cut in, "I think it's probably best that we keep to the original plan. The minimal amount of contact the better. Just to be cautious, you know?"

"Of course," Marlene replied. The shame of hinting to Remus that she knew more about the Potters than she had let on had begun to eat at her more since her confession the previous evening. Though she had been vague and hadn't admitted anything obvious, she deduced that her response to his question would still have been against the rules.

In fact, she wasn't even able to set ten feet into the cottage before pulling gently on Lily's arm and asking her quietly, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, what's going on?"

"Perhaps somewhere more private?" Marlene whispered even softer.

Lily offered a knowing look and then announced loud enough for the boys to hear, "We're just going to check on Harry." James and Sirius had already moved into the living room and were engaged in a conversation Marlene suspected was related to the Order meeting. They were so absorbed in their discussion that neither bothered to acknowledge Lily's sentiment. "Alright then, come with me upstairs and talk."

Lily hadn't needed to check in on Harry. When they reached the top landing she guided her down the opposite side of the hallway to her bedroom.

"Harry's long been asleep," she admitted. "But neither one of them will venture up here to bother us."

"Well that's a relief," Marlene sighed. Two things weighed heavily on her mind and she knew that Sirius would eventually find out about both of them. However, still not feeling well, she wasn't prepared to fight either fire quite yet.

"So," Lily pressed her once they had entered the room and she had closed the door behind them. "Does he know?"

Marlene's admission about Remus died in her throat and she looked at Lily inquisitively. Could she possibly already know? She asked to clarify, "Who is he and does he know what?"

Lily offered her a dubious glare and pursed her lips. "Don't try to pull one over on me Marlene McKinnon. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Then Marlene watched as Lily's eyes travelled from her face and down the length of her body to where Marlene's hands instinctively moved to cradle her midsection. Lily's eyes lit up with excitement and she exclaimed loudly, "Ah hah!"

"How did you know?" Marlene hissed, her eyes shooting towards the closed door to where the boys muffled, yet boisterous laughing carried up the stairs and down the hall to meet her ears.

"Well I didn't know for certain until now," Lily replied, smiling. "The past week you've been looking rather...please don't be offended...but off. Every time we've talked you look more tired and sickly than usual." Lily looked embarrassed and apologized. "Sorry."

"That's a fair point," Marlene sighed. She hadn't realized that her illness had been so apparent. Obviously Sirius hadn't picked up on it, apart from the previous day when she was at her absolute worst. So why should she have guessed Lily, a magical mirror visit away, would be able to figure it out when her partner with whom she lived had not?

When she said nothing further Lily asked again, "So? Does he know?"

"No," Marlene replied. "I haven't told him yet."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think?" Marlene grumbled. "Do you really think this is something Sirius would be happy about right now? I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it. This wasn't exactly planned you know."

"Sirius will – "

"Oh don't tell me the whole 'Sirius will be happy because he loves me' speech. Please."

"I don't really care if you want to hear it or not, but he does love you and Sirius will be a great dad, Marlene. Regardless of whether he's ready for that right now or not. Just tell him and give him the benefit of the doubt. He might surprise you."

"Do you recall how Sirius once told me he wasn't sure he ever wanted to get married? Pretty sure a baby is a whole lot more commitment than that."

"Yes and now almost two years later look at where you are? Living together, very much in love and about to start a family together. Things change, Marlene. You must know that by now."

"Just not tonight. I'll figure out a way to tell him soon," she grumbled. "But that's not what I needed to talk to you about."

"Oh," Lily said, sounding surprised. The smile fell slightly when Marlene didn't continue to elaborate. "You look ridiculously stressed out right about now and it's starting to freak me out. What is it?"

Marlene took a large breath and then explained what she had done. When she finished speaking she waited for anything other than the laugh that omitted from Lily's lips. "Is that it really? You come in looking like the end of the world for you hinting at the fact that we are safe? Really Marlene?"

"You're not angry then?" she asked with relief.

"Oh for Merlin's sake. It's Remus. Don't start sounding like Sirius now with all that rubbish." Lily rolled her eyes. "It's not like you disclosed our location, right? Or said that we were using the fidelius charm?"

"Of course not!"

"And nobody else overheard you, right?"

"No, it was only Remus there. I'm certain of it."

"Well then stop stressing out about it." Then a look of understanding passed over her, her eyes widened suddenly; bright orbs of white and a perfect circular 'O' forming at her lips. "You're not worried about me, are you? You're worried about Sirius's reaction to this."

"Wouldn't you be?" Marlene groaned. "Two very scary things to tell him and I don't know which particular one is going to cause him to go on a murderous rampage. Probably both."

"He doesn't need to know." Lily patted Marlene's shoulder and offered a sympathetic smile. "Really, Marlene. Don't stress over it."

"I'll try," she sighed before wobbling slightly.

"You don't look well. Are you feeling alright?" Lily was looking at her, eyes sharp and focused. She sounded both concerned and sympathetic and Marlene guessed that she was likely thinking back to the early stages of her own pregnancy.

"Just been a little nauseated the last few days. And a bit light headed. Nothing serious though."

"If it's too much for you right now we can reschedule a get together another time?"

That was the last thing she wanted and she told Lily as much. Besides, Sirius was busy catching James up to speed when the girls moved downstairs to the living room and she didn't want to disrupt him.

The conversation didn't last much longer and they quickly moved on to more pleasant topics. Marlene went into more detail about Tom and what he had been up to since leaving St. Mungos, they discussed their new home, and Lily and James talked nonstop about all the new things Harry had been learning. Walking had been the most recent addition to the list of his mastered skills, and Lily was having a hard time keeping him out of cupboards.

It was nearing nine o'clock when Marlene felt the overwhelming waves of exhaustion hit, and another bout of nausea sent her running to the bathroom.

"Are you still feeling sick?" Sirius asked her when she came back to the room.

"No I'm alright," she said, ignoring Lily's disapproving glare. This was most definitely not the time to tell Sirius that he was going to become a father, and she didn't care what Lily's thoughts on the matter were. This discussion was going to have to wait until at least the morning. And likely not even then.

"Are you sure? You don't look so great right now. We can go home if you'd like?"

The mention of home made Marlene feel even more tired. All she could focus on was crawling under the freshly washed sheets and going to sleep.

"Maybe I will call it a night," she conceded. She was struggling to pay attention as it was. "I think I might fall asleep here on the couch pretty quick."

"We can chat more about things later," Sirius said to James. He stood from the couch and Marlene realized he intended to leave with her.

"No Sirius, you should stay," Marlene said, smiling weakly. She rose from her seat next to him and craned her neck up to meet his gaze. "I'm just going to go home to bed anyways. You and James will have much more fun."

"Going to bed could be fun." He winked suggestively, the subtle scent of whiskey blowing out to kiss her cheek. Marlene shoed him playfully and laughed before Sirius swooped in to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. He pulled away with a smirk on his face. "No? Maybe next time then."

"Goodnight Sirius," she chuckled, and then looked past his shoulder to offer James a wave goodbye.

"I don't feel right about you going alone. James and I can visit another day," Sirius insisted.

"Limited contact, remember? Seriously, just stay. I'll be fine at home for a few hours."

"Are you sure?" He sounded hesitant. She could tell he was torn but that he really would like to stay.

"Yes I'm sure. So long as you don't get into too much trouble," she warned before reaching up to give Sirius another quick kiss goodbye. "I'll see you soon," she whispered, nuzzling into his neck. His freshly shaven skin was smooth like silk, and she generously inhaled the spicy scent of his aftershave as she lingered closely.

"Don't worry. We'll get into just the right amount," he replied with his usual trace of humor as they walked to the front door. She felt the roughness of the kiss he planted atop her head, heard the soft "I love you," before he pulled away, leaving her disconnected from his body. A sudden longing for his closeness consumed her and her hand twitched as though ready to reach out and bring him back. Only for a fleeting moment did she consider telling him she had changed her mind and wanted him to come home with her.

But he had moved back into the living room with James, laughing about some joke she had missed while lost in her thoughts. The sense of peace that came along with knowing the Potters were safe had done a great deal to ease the stress Marlene and her friends had been feeling. She watched appreciatively at the interaction between the two boys and decided there was no way she could interrupt them.

Lily was watching her carefully, and when Marlene opened her lips to say goodbye she was quick to remind her, "You'd better tell him soon."

Marlene sighed. "Yes mother."

"I'm serious Marlene," Lily insisted. "Don't wait too long. I need to be able to tell James and I obviously can't talk about it until you tell Sirius first."

"Ah so you have an ulterior motive."

"Maybe just a little." Lily smiled. "So, tell him soon. Please?"

Marlene laughed. "I'll sleep on it. Goodnight Lily."

"Goodnight Marlene. I await news tomorrow on how the talk goes."

Marlene gave Lily a lingering hug, uncertain as to when they would have another physical visit. She knew they would talk again tomorrow, but it just wasn't the same. "You take care of yourself, alright?"

"I think I should be saying that to you and not the other way around."

Lily was still smiling as the door closed behind Marlene.

When she apparated back to the dark and quiet street outside her home she felt a pang of sadness for doubting her feelings. She knew that deep down Lily was right, but the fear of Sirius reacting in a negative way prevented her from holding out hope. She had only found out a week prior and had yet to work up the nerve to sit down and share the news with him.

She was consumed with her guilt as she moved up the walkway towards the house. When she opened the door her hand immediately reached for the light switch in the foyer. But as her fingers flipped the switch upwards the lights failed to illuminate the room.

And then something suddenly felt very wrong. The hairs of her neck stood up and a chill coursed through her. Instinctively she reached for her wand but was a fraction of a second too late.