Chapter 50

SPOV

I hurt so much and even breathing seemed to worsen the pain. I didn't want to move, maybe I couldn't anyway. Trying to open my eyes took a great deal of effort and I had to close them again as the pain in my chest worsened. The silence was eerie, and it had me wondering where the hell I was. Had I been arrested by the FBI, was I on my own in some secure facility? I'd been so worried about Ranger and the men, remembering everything that happened at that airport. My mind pictured Isaac as he'd stood there, a gun in his hand as he told me that he was arresting me. Somehow, and I didn't know how, I just knew that Ranger and the guys had got out before they were confronted with FBI agents or even SWAT teams.

My last memory was of looking at Beth as she stood by the rail with a gun in her hand and of another person. Yeah, now I thought about it I was sure that it had been Fin stood up there as well, not knowing why he was there or how and thinking that maybe he was someone else that had betrayed us. I was finding it very hard to know who to trust now.

I felt my eyes water even though they were closed and then felt a touch against my skin. A gentle touch that had a tingle, ever so slight, move up my neck. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I had to at least try. I was once again forcing my eyes to open and saw a blurred figure next to me, come to think of it, I was sure that one side of my body felt warm. I blinked quickly to clear what I was seeing, so pleased to see Ranger's face so close to me.

"You haven't to move or try to talk. Stay as still as possible, okay?"

I felt my hand being taken and held and decided that squeezing his hand didn't count, did it?

"I made them turn the sound off for your heart monitor, I know you hate it, but if it shows your rate going up then they'll throw me out"

I squeezed his hand again to show that I understood and then watched as his face came closer to mine and as I felt his lips kiss each of my eyelids making me close my eyes.

"Go back to sleep Babe. I'll be here with you"

And that's what I must have done.

The next time that I became aware of anything I felt the ache in my chest but remembering how painful it had been before this it didn't feel as bad. Opening my eyes, I could see that the lighting was dim and watched as a young nurse was writing something down on a chart at the end of the bed. As she looked up, she saw me and smiled and came and stood next to me, her hand holding my wrist.

"Hi, you're doing great Stephanie. My name is Sarah and I'm here to make sure that you're comfortable"

I wasn't too sure if I could talk or even try to move and opened and closed my mouth remembering what Ranger had said.

"It's okay. We're past the danger zone now. You got hit in the chest, really hard, so we were worried how that might impact on you. The swelling's gone down now so we know there's no permanent damage"

"Hit?"

All I could remember was an explosion in my chest. Did that mean I'd been shot?"

"You were real lucky, you got hit by a bullet but it impacted on a pendent on your necklace so it didn't penetrate. You're gonna be sore though for a while"

I was struggling to get my head around that when she came closer to me holding a cup.

"Here, you must be thirsty"

I felt a straw at my mouth and started to suck up the drink, realizing that the stronger I sucked the worse the pain got.

"Don't take any deep breaths or turn your body. And definitely don't cough or sneeze. Your man's outside and keen to get back to you so let's get you a bit more comfortable. Don't you do anything, the bed will do it for you, so just relax"

I could feel the bed start to incline as the nurse held a control unit in her hand and was pleased that it moved me so that I was propped up and able to look around me. I looked at the nurse again, sure that I recognized her.

"Sarah?"

"That's me. You're in a private hospital and I'm here just for you"

"Sarah. Do I know you?"

"We've not met but it's because of you that I'm here. I'm Sarah Heap"

"How?"

"That man that came and found me, well he told me everything that he knew so we went and found my Dad. Would you believe that my Dad had Barnes locked up in an old panic room? It was Fin who got him to tell us everything, and I mean everything. I didn't care how Fin threatened him as long as we got the truth from him. That meant Fin had to hightail it up here to New York"

"Was it Fin that I saw at the airport?"

"Sure was. Okay, you're all clean and your hair's looking good, so how about I let Ranger in before he beats down the door"

"Yeah"

Was all I managed to say as I tried to work out what she was saying to me. I watched as she placed some things onto a trolley and headed for the door and then looked down at myself. I couldn't believe that I had on one of Ranger's T-shirts, though it must have been freshly washed because it just didn't have that special smell. As Sarah pushed her cart out of the room, I was watching the door again and knew that I was smiling as Ranger walked through. He came straight up to the bed and leant down to brush his lips over mine.

"I might regret employing that woman if she's going to give me orders and kick me out"

"Orders?"

"Yeah. She said I looked worse than you did and told me she wouldn't let me back in until I'd showered, shaved and eaten"

If Ranger had looked that bad and he'd actually conceded to doing as Sarah asked of him, then how long had I been here for?

"How long?"

"Four days. They were worried, so kept you sedated to let the swelling go down and make sure there was no internal damage"

"From being hit on the chest?"

"Babe, that bullet packed a punch. They had to be sure that your heart and lungs hadn't been bruised as well"

"I have a lot of catching up to do then"

"Not at the moment. Another 24hrs resting then we'll see what we can do"

"I can go home?"

I wasn't too sure if the look I got back was for wanting to know what had happened or saying I wanted to go home. It was as those thoughts went through my head that I realized that by saying home that I meant Rangeman and the apartment on seven with Ranger. I hadn't even given my apartment a second thought and now was wondering what to do about it. Would Ranger still want me staying with him, well living with him? And if the danger was now over what exactly would I do? I remembered Lula saying that business at the bonds office had gone quiet and to be honest if Lula was managing the regulars alright on her own would I want to be doing that again? Would I want to take that away from her? That had me remembering what Isaac had said when he'd taken my camera and destroyed the memory card. What did he think that I had on there that could possibly be a threat to him?

"Babe?"

"Sorry, just lost in thought"

"Rest, you still need your sleep"

I felt him as he carefully sat on the bed and brought his legs up to lay next to mine. Then he carefully pushed his arm underneath the pillow and laid his head next to mine. As his hand rested gently on my hip the rhythmic motion of his fingers drawing circles across my hip lulled me into sleep.

24 hours came and went but I couldn't seem to stay awake long enough to persuade Ranger to tell me anything about what had happened. The next day though I felt so much better and it seemed the doctor who was treating me felt the same as well. With Sarah's help I had managed to use the bathroom and using the special chair installed had enjoyed a shower. It was certainly preferable to the body wash in the bed that Sarah had insisted on before. I was still using the lift on the bed to help me to sit up so by the afternoon I was waiting impatiently for Ranger to come back. He'd been here with me for most of the morning but then Sarah had shood him from the room while the doctor did his daily rounds and Sarah had helped me to freshen up.

When the door opened, I'd expected it to be Ranger but instead it was my Dad who had walked in. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him and was so pleased to see him here.

"I hear that you're improving every day"

"I am. It's still painful at times but I can get up by myself"

"I wanted to come visit you sooner but Ranger asked me to wait until you were stronger"

"He's been here all the time"

My Dad brought up a chair and set it next to the bed before sitting down and taking hold of my hand.

"I'm real proud of you Pumpkin. Ranger filled me in on how you saved his skin"

"Me? I didn't do anything. As usual I was with the wrong person"

"He hasn't told me the details, but he did say that you kept your head and got information to him"

I was glad that Ranger had heard what I desperately needed him to hear and that he was then able to keep himself and the other men safe. Obviously then Ranger hadn't told him any other details, so I was still in the dark about what had happened.

"What was on the news?"

"A vague story about an explosion at power sub station that took out half of the city, including the airport. They're not saying what caused it until they've finished with their investigation"

"The airport?"

"Only that some people took advantage of the black out and tried to steal some things"

That made me wonder whether anyone knew about what had happened or if they were just keeping it under wraps. It also made me wonder who had been caught.

"Your Grandma wanted to come but we decided that it would be better if she saw you when you had recovered and were back home"

That word home again, but it also had me thinking of my mother.

"My Mum?"

"She's not well. She's hardly been out of the house. In fact, I think between the drink and the gossip I'd say she's losing it"

I wasn't surprised that she was openly drinking or that it was now affecting her, but I was surprised that the gossip was affecting her. Normally she thrived on gossip and always had something to add to it.

"Dad, what do you mean by the gossip?"

"Ah hell Pumpkin. I suppose it's better coming from me than you find out another way"

Okay he had me a bit worried now, sighing wasn't something he usually did, especially if he was going to be telling me something. In fact the way he had worded it made me worried that maybe I was the only one who didn't know something. I must have been too quiet because my Dad took a deep breath and started talking.

"When your mother wouldn't stop going on about Morelli and how you were lucky that he wanted to marry you, some of the woman must have got it into their heads to get together to work out why she was so adamant about it. These are the women of our generation and they have long memories. You see your mother got pregnant after Val, before you, and the baby was a boy, but he died"

This was the first that I had ever heard about that and I had to admit that I understood how that would upset both of my parents but not why they had never told me. As I looked over to my Dad, I could see that he was finding this hard to do but also knew there had to be more to the story. Surely her losing a son shouldn't mean that she should have treated me so badly.

"When I started to see how she was behaving I did some checking around. Seems that little boy couldn't have been mine. I was still doing jobs for the army at the time and these gossiping women are saying that that little boy was Morelli senior's"

Processing what was being said to me had me going very quiet. Had she had an affair with the man when Dad was away, or had he forced her? Was that why she went ballistic at me after Joe forced me to have sex in the Tasty Pastry? Did she see history repeating itself? But then why was she so annoyed with me? As I thought it through another idea began to form in my head. Joe was younger than Val but older than me, was he born when this little boy should have been born?

"Are you saying that people are suggesting that she has this notion that Joe is the son that died? That if I married him then . ."

"She'd have the Morelli son that she lost"

I didn't know what to say, what could I say? She started to hate me when Joe first touched me as a kid. She would have always seen him as someone who could do no wrong and that was why she turned her resentment on me.

"What's Angie Morelli said?"

"She's been very quiet, other than to condemn how your mother treats you"

I needed time to get my head around what my Dad had told me. In some ways it gave me a tangible reason for my mother's behavior. It still hurt that she couldn't have supported me more, especially as I was her daughter. Maybe there was also the guilt that she had carried from losing a child but to transfer those feelings to Joe just wasn't right.

"Maybe she needs some counselling, maybe she needs to work through what happened all those years ago"

"You're not mad at her?"

I could hear the surprise in his voice and thought about how I did feel.

"I don't hate her. I maybe feel sorry for her. I don't want anything to do with her though, not until she gets help with her mental health issues"

"You're too good Pumpkin because I'm not that sure that I can forgive her"

"Maybe knowing exactly what happened might help"

I knew I was a mess after the Tasty Pastry, but had I ended up pregnant then I wasn't sure what my mental health would have been like. For something like that to have happened was bad enough without losing a baby that you'd mentally accepted.

"Is this what people are talking about?"

"Not all of them, just the older ones and they're only aiming it at your mother. Don't worry about how people will see you"

That was easier said than done because I knew there would always be someone out there who would like nothing better than to hurt me with their words. I needed to lighten the mood before my Dad's visit turned too serious.

"You still playing poker at the club?"

"Of course"

"Les got me involved in a game a few weeks back. I was hopeless, I couldn't decide when I had a good hand"

"You always were too easy to read, but you know, you got the hang of it eventually"

"I did?"

"Yeah, you've got the ability to cover your feelings, you just needed the confidence in yourself to do it"

That was in the years when my Dad let me hang about with him more. He took me fishing and walking and we did things together, that is until my mother put a stop to it.

"You can do it again, find yourself Pumpkin and that confidence will come back"

I wasn't sure what he was saying but knew that maybe he was right. I'd spent most of my adult life feeling that I was missing something that somehow, I wasn't complete. The only people that had ever made me feel whole were my Dad and Ranger. Maybe me saying that I wanted to fly or be independent was me saying that I wanted to find myself.

"You look tired Pumpkin. Ranger asked me to keep an eye on how you were looking"

It wasn't that I was tired, but I did need some time to think through what I'd learnt today.

"Yeah, I am feeling tired"

"I'll see you soon then, you know I'm always at the end of the phone"

I smiled as my Dad stood up and kissed me on the cheek before he turned and left the room. I wasn't too sure that I was up for any more visitors but changed my mind when Ranger came in.

"You look, I don't know a bit down. I thought seeing your father would cheer you up"

I hadn't realized that how I was feeling was that obvious and knew that he'd want to know why.

"Babe?"

"He told me about my mother and how she lost a baby"

Hell, it didn't sound so bad when I said it quickly.

"I'm sorry Babe"

I looked up at him as he said that and suddenly it was obvious.

"You knew?"

"Not everything, only the basics. Your father asked me not to say anything"

"It isn't just about the brother I never met"

"What is it about then?"

"That my mother resents me, that she desperately wanted that son. My Dad thinks that she's smitten with Joe because she sees him as the son she lost. That's why she was so keen for me to marry him. She'd get her son then through me"

"Shit Babe, I never got that far or even thought about that"

I felt his arms come around me and I think that's when it really hit me, the way that my mother had always treated me, the way that she was so keen for me to marry him. How she always seemed to back him up. In her eyes I really was a disappointment. My face was buried in his chest and I could feel his hands in my hair. Suddenly I didn't feel like that little girl anymore. She had no power over me, not if I didn't let her. It didn't mean that I didn't understand what had happened to her.

"She's sick, she needs help. Maybe she was raped or maybe she had an affair, whatever it was it affected her and when Joe messed with me when I was five, she became mommy bear, but his mommy bear, not mine"

"So that's why she seems to undermine whatever you do?"

"Yeah, especially as I wouldn't conform to what she thought I should be"

"What do you want Babe?"

Him saying that took me back to when he'd said that before.

"Do you remember after Cassie had been to see me, you found me sat looking out of the window?"

"Yes, you said you didn't want to be a ghost"

"Then you said that it took you a while to figure it out, but it wasn't just about me being safe, it was about me finding myself"

"Then let's do that"

The following day Ranger brought me some clothes to wear and he even had my bag with him. It felt so good to change into a skirt and a loose top. I even had some makeup in my bag and was more than ready to leave this place. As we drove from the hospital, I was feeling so relieved to be out of there and was pleased when Bobby had made it happen, though I knew he was going to be keeping a very close watch on me. I suppose I was never really aware of just how serious my injury could have been, I was now and knew that I had someone that I had to see to say a special thank you to.

For some reason I was nervous as we pulled into the garage at Rangeman. I'd dozed while we'd travelled but some inner alarm must have woken me up as we came into Trenton. I still didn't know what had happened at the airport, if there was good news or bad news but was sure that Ranger wasn't telling me anything because he was wanting to protect me, at least until I was stronger.

Bobby had been in contact with the medical team constantly as I was recovering, trying to assuage my fears and probably every man at Rangeman. The bullet would have killed me had it not been for that pendent.

"You ready Babe?"

I hadn't noticed that we'd stopped or that Ranger had opened the door for me.

"Yes"

Was my only response as he took my hand and lifted me carefully from the car. Once on the ground his arm was around my waist, not to physically support me but probably to stop anyone from being too enthusiastic at welcoming me home. The elevator opened as we approached, and I saw Les stood waiting for us. He'd been with us at the hospital, guarding my door and looking in on me constantly along with several of the other men. I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or not when he lent forward and held my head in his hands before kissing my cheeks.

"Welcome home Beautiful"

That was so unlike Les that I felt almost embarrassed at how gentle he had been.

"It's good to be here Les"

"So, are you ready to party?"

I know I just looked at him, wondering if he was joking with me.

"I don't think so"

"Okay, but the guys want to say hi to you"

I'd expected for us to go straight up to seven so was surprised when the elevator stopped at five and was starting to get a little anxious as to what was going to be happening.

Had this been planned? I felt that maybe it had as Ranger's arm tightened around my waist a little. I think every man employed here was lined up on the corridor just waiting and I couldn't believe that they were here because of me. As I passed each one, I turned to them and touched them as though it just confirmed for me that they were all here and all okay. As we walked forward and into the larger conference room, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"Oh wow, food and cake. I haven't eaten cake in forever"

I watched as Ella came over to me and whispered in my ear. Ranger wasn't privy to what was said but I could see that he was curious to know what had both of us close to tears.

"Babe?"

"I'm fine. Ella just offered to adopt me, and I said I would love for that to happen"

I took another look around the room, seeing that a lot of the men were now helping themselves to food and thought that was a damn good idea. It was then that I saw Hector come into the room and I knew that I wanted to speak to him.

"Can I go talk to Hector?"

I asked Ranger as he stood next to me. I watched as he nodded his head and then allowed him to guide me to where Hector was stood.

"Estefania, you good now?"

I nodded my head trying to formulate exactly what I wanted to say to him.

"Hector, I have you to thank for saving me"

He'd only smiled at me as though he didn't understand what I was saying.

"I'm so grateful for you giving me that pendent, it saved my life"

"No, not me it wasn't me who saved you Estefania, it was St Michael, patron saint of warriors"

I didn't know what to say to that as he walked over to the food and turned to Ranger expecting him to have an answer.

"He said the same thing to me Babe"

That made me feel, I don't know, somehow special or closer to Hector. I wasn't really sure how to express it. I shrugged my shoulders at Ranger not really wanting to have to explain it and turned my attention to the food.

"There won't be much left if we don't get some soon"

"You sit down here, and I'll get you a plate"

I almost started to tell him what to bring but then didn't want to upset him. The food in the hospital was okay but I definitely wouldn't appreciate it if he brought me only healthy stuff. I really wanted to try some of Ella's cake.

I had to admit that once I'd emptied my plate, I felt full and tired. Ranger had probably brought me everything that he wouldn't have eaten, though I did notice that he didn't overfill it, but the cake did taste amazing. Some of the men started to leave, probably starting their shifts and I was so taken aback as they came to say goodnight to me. I loved these guys, how they seemed to accept me, and it was then that I realized what Cassie had said. She'd asked me to find out how other people would describe me, which had worried me at the time. I thought they'd see me as I saw myself but maybe I was totally wrong about that. Maybe by believing how they saw me would help me to find my true self.

"Babe, are you ready to head upstairs?"

"Yes. Who do I need to thank for doing this?"

"Probably everyone. I'm not sure who suggested it, but all of the men were keen for it to happen and to be here"

"I really appreciated it"

Once upstairs it felt so good to be back here where I could relax and feel safe again. Not that I didn't feel safe at the hospital but the fact that there were constantly guards outside the door did make me think that maybe we still had a problem. I was too tired for that conversation now so walked through to the bedroom. Ella had sent in clothes that were easy to get on and off so untying the knot of the wrap around top and unzipping the skirt that I was wearing meant that I could pull up a lose night dress and was soon laid on the bed. I was surprised when Ranger followed me in and began to undress as well.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"Yes. I have the need to hold you in our bed and fall asleep with you"

I mulled that around in my head, our bed, mmm, I liked the sound of that.

The sound of the door opening woke me the next morning and as I lifted my head I watched as Ranger came in with a tray in his hands.

"I didn't mean to wake you"

"That's okay. I could do to get up and use the bathroom"

"Let me help you"

I soon realized that sitting up by myself hurt, something that I hadn't experienced at the hospital because of the way the bed worked. Once I'd finished in the bathroom and came back into the bedroom, I noticed that Ranger had placed some pillows on the bed for me to lean against. As I reclined against them, he placed the tray on my knee and lifted the dome from the plate.

"I think Ella's spoiling you"

I had to agree as I looked down on some waffles. I felt spoilt having breakfast in bed and felt that I was ready to know what had happened after I was shot at. As we both started to drink our coffee, I dared to ask the question.

"Will you tell me what happened"

I saw him look at me, as though weighing up whether he wanted to or even whether he should do.

"I wanted to give you a few days to rest"

"That makes me think that there's bad news somewhere in there"

I heard him sigh, which wasn't good, and then he settled next to me with his back against the headboard.

"Okay. I got your message about the vests and the plan that Isaac had, so immediately aborted the job, told the men to get out. Hector was following your tracker, so Bobby and I knew we had to get to you. I just missed you as you climbed up that luggage belt and I was, I was too late to protect you against Beth"

"No one could have predicted her turning up with a gun"

"She lost control of the gun and I know that I had a clear shot of her but so did Fin"

"Sarah told me that he'd dashed up here because of something Barnes had said"

"Yes. Fin came through for us. He went straight to the director and told him that he had a rogue agent. Wilt Crayson got in touch with Rangeman and was put through to Hector who relayed everything that Isaac had said to you"

"So they knew it was a setup?"

"Yes. Beth killed Isaac and another agent when her gun went off, another agent was hit as well"

"Sophia?"

"Wilt Crayson arranged for her to be picked up as she tried to board her plane"

"Ranger, when I was shot it was as though it was raining"

"Diamonds"

"Yes"

"Beth had the diamonds in her bag and when both Fin and I fired at her, she let go of the bag and they fell out onto the floor below"

"Okay. What about the son, Dominick Edelson?"

"His father was informed of what happened and the diamonds were delivered to him"

"You're avoiding my question"

"His body turned up, well what was left of it. He'd been shot in the head and his car set on fire"

Of course, my mind took me straight to who I thought it could be.

"His father?"

"Possibly"

"So that leaves Parker and Calhoun"

"It does"

"Do you think Parker will have been on that plane with Beth. He was the IT wizard"

"Possibly but the chaos at the airport would have made it easy for him to get away"

"Why do you think Beth hung around?"

"Maybe to make sure that Isaac followed through with their plans"

I still couldn't work out why Beth would have the diamonds though. I suppose being dressed as cabin crew might have made it easier for her to walk through customs. I knew when I'd ever used the airport that I'd seen them just waived through without being stopped.

"Do you have any idea where Parker is?"

"No"

"He's good at not being found. He disappeared after he left university and again when he was released from prison"

"We'll find him Babe"

"Calhoun?"

"I have a meeting in the morning with Wilt Crayson and you have Bobby due here soon"