Rory had returned from her appointment with dr. Burg a week earlier with recommendations to take it a little easier. It wasn't going to be too hard since Christmas holidays were just about to begin, but she knew she'd easily get sucked up in the process of things once things picked up again. She now had not one but two books waiting for her attention on her laptop, exams in January and an impending presentation on her research progress. Dr. Burg had actually mentioned her showing some signs of high-functioning depression, but he'd said she didn't quite fit the classical diagnosis. Still he insisted it was a good idea keep seeing him. Her situation was unique, not quite fitting the common patterns with her history. She had no objections. Her anxieties were still there and the question, why and for whom did she feel the need to push herself so hard? was still unanswered.
Rory and Finn had decided to divide up Leah's Christmas this year. Rory would leave a week before Christmas to Nantucket with Logan and Leah, and they were to fly back the 25th so Leah could spend the rest with Finn and his family. This way she and Logan could make their half-obligatory visit to the Huntzberger mansion without her.
The Nantucket air felt cold and salty. The sandy but frozen ground and dried yellowish grass moved in the wind as Rory, Logan and Leah, dressed in their warmest clothes followed the path leading to the beach just a short walk from the Sandcastle. The wind eased up once they receded down the eroded slope. In a sunny spot on the beach it actually felt a few degrees warmer.
"Mommy!" Leah squealed, pointing at the ocean.
"That's the ocean, Leah," Rory explained, adding, "It's very cold," hoping she wouldn't get any ideas about swimming.
"It's nice out here," Logan added, taking a breath of fresh air.
"It is," Rory replied. She hadn't touched her laptop in 72 hours, a record in the past half a year for sure.
"Leah, look what I have," she began, pulling out a plastic bucket and a small pink shovel from her tote bag. "This is your very own big sandbox," she added, gesturing all around them.
"Have you ever imagined what it'd be like to live like this all the time? No pressure, no work, at least not the obligatory kind, just being," Logan asked. His aim was not to make her question her career-path, but he could see she had calmed down significantly ever since they got off the plane.
"I honestly haven't," she replied. "I'm not sure I'd be able to do it," Rory added, watching Leah dig a hole in the sand.
"You are doing it now, aren't you?" he asked.
"We've been here three days. I know how to be on a holiday," Rory replied, looking at him sideways.
Logan smirked. This was so typical Rory. Stubborn.
"I've told you I've been a little bored at work these days," he began. "I have actually been toying with the idea of taking a sabbatical of sorts. Maybe not right now, but maybe after we get married," he said. There were still a lot of loose strings at work, and while the work had become predictable and mundane, he intended to finish what he had started and delegate everything properly, if he did decide to do this.
"I have a hard time imagining you not working, you've always worked," she stated, picking up a few round rocks and decorating Leah's sand pit.
"I have," he agreed. In fact the only times he hadn't were when he was either lying in a hospital bed or cowardly hiding his failure in a whisky glass.
"So you'd want to just do nothing?" she asked, unsure of what he meant.
"Well we could do pretty much whatever we wanted - read, write, watch bad movies all day," he offered, offering Rory in a way an easy out - if she wanted it. "We could live wherever we wanted," he added, regretting suggesting it, as he realized Rory was attached to Finn through Leah. He'd been recently thinking what kind of life he wanted to have. He knew he didn't want to become his father, who'd spend as much time up in the air or in a car than at home. And while he had spent the past half a year living with Rory, it was still far too often he felt like he was travelling and working more than he cared to.
"But I have a job, and Yale," she added
"Those things won't run anywhere. There are ways for taking time off from grad school, people do it all the time. And you can leave Mitchum to me, if that's what you are worried about," Logan continued, helping Leah build a sand tower.
"It would feel like giving up," she replied. She really wasn't sure what would happen if she did that.
"Taking a break doesn't have to mean giving up," he suggested.
Rory didn't reply.
"Now there's a castle for princess Leah!" he exclaimed, finishing the second sand tower for Leah.
"How was the weather?" Emily asked as the three returned from their morning outing. There were no playgrounds around, besides Emily's backyard with a few toys, so they had gone exploring the surroundings each day.
"Windy and chilly, but the beach was nice," Rory replied, removing Leah's red winter overall.
"Berta is making creamy chicken soup and fresh ciabatta for lunch," she announced. "But maybe if you feel up to it, we could go through some wedding ideas," she suggested.
"Sure," Rory agreed, feeling bad for neglecting the planning due to her schedule. For a second she had a nasty flashback to the last time she'd been planning her wedding to Finn, she'd been similarly undecided on most things, and that certainly hadn't turned out well. She wanted to make an effort this time.
"Lorelai, do you mind playing with Leah a bit?" Rory called to the living room, where Lorelai was watching TV with Luke.
"Leah-Leah," Lorelai called playfully, "come and find me!" as Leah patted already towards the living room in search for her.
"First, we really need to check over the guest list. I sent a copy to Shira as well, we'd never hear the end of it if I hadn't," Emily explained.
Both Logan and Rory glanced over the list, trying to go over everybody they could think of. Rory thought chronologically, whom she had grown up with, her friends from Stars Hollow, Chilton and moving on from there to Yale, suddenly remembering the why she realized she needed to return to Yale. "I forgot Jess!" she exclaimed.
"Seriously?" Logan asked, somewhat surprised by his own reaction. He knew he had been a part of Rory's life, but simply his last take on him wasn't exactly friendly.
"He helped me with my book, he's a friend, he's Luke's nephew," Rory explained.
"Fine," he agreed, "forget I said anything," he added.
She continued to think about the people she'd met on the Obama campaign trail, her first few jobs just after that, her contacts at the New Yorker and a few other places. Oddly there weren't many contacts other than Hugo and one of the girls she rented an apartment in New York with for a while, whom she actually considered.
"How is it looking, numbers evening up?" Emily asked, looking over the lists.
"134 total - not very even but better," Rory sighed.
"That's decent I think," Logan commented.
"Alright, I'll add a couple of places just in case, if anybody else comes to mind," she agreed, adding "now, do you have your dress picked out or do I need to call Miss Celine?"
"I'm going to New York in two weeks with Honor, Paris and mom. Honor already booked Kleinfeld," Rory said.
"Send a picture of the dress to me later, I'll make sure Logan's tailor gets it and makes sure your wardrobes don't clash," Emily added.
"Mom will be the Matron of Honor," Rory continued.
"Logan? What's your plan?" Emily asked, making notes.
"I thought about it. And I thought about asking the guys, but it felt a little weird," he began, referring to Finn. "So decided to go with Honor actually," he said.
"Good choice, Logan," Emily said, adding, "Honor as the Honor attendant," enjoying the sound of it.
"Leah will be the flower girl, if she feels up to it, can't be too sure with a two year old," Rory said.
"Videographer and photographer are set," Emily said, moving down her list. "Any preferences of the officiant?" she asked.
"As long as it's not reverend Boatright, I'm fine with whatever you choose," Rory said, bursting into laughter at that mental image.
"Rory!" Emily scolded with a smirk, while Logan was trying to hold back his laughter.
"Gift registries?" Emily asked.
"We don't really need anything," Rory said.
"How about we just tell them politely that this is a gift free event and if they want to they can donate to charity or something," Logan suggested.
"Great idea, that might just work!" Emily said.
After a look at some menus, invite samples, and a few other minor details Emily finally drew a line at the bottom of her list, adding, "all done for now!" cheerily.
"Lunch is served," Berta announced, having really picked up on her English.
"That was a lot of work," Rory sighed, adding, "I'm starving."
"Emily, I have a few ideas for the wedding. I'll tell you later," Logan whispered to Emily as Rory already left towards the dining room.
