LW: More zombie shenanigans, and a special guest returns. Also Nami's biggest secret revealed! Ohhh
Rubber King and Mirror Master - Spiders, hippos and mouse zombies, WTF?
"It's actually a little comforting that even the fact our crewmates keep disappearing doesn't stop Luffy from being a dumbass" Valentina chuckles as Luffy is scolded by his girls for disappearing to put on one of the suits of armour without even telling them
"I guess, would be better if we could find the others first, then outfit everyone in armour" Kaya suggests
"Hey Robin, any idea when Kaos will be rejoining us?" Victor asks curiously
"Well, provided he hasn't been torn apart by rabid zombies he'll find us whenever he's finished his side quest, so hopefully soon"
"Don't say shit like that, it'll worry the others!" Franky shouts, not quite used to Robin's black comedy
"Oh I'd worry more about yourselves than your friend, at least he's not walking towards his death, unless he's following you of course" the pig laughs
"Really hope talking pig makes good bacon" Luffy grumbles as they keep walking
"Oh my" Vivi gasps finding the next room opening up into an arena style layout
"It's an indoor arena, but we're still no closer to Moria" Franky hums, not noticing something sneaking above him
"It's more complicated than just an arena, but you'll see soon enough, Now you've conveniently walked right into our trap!" the pig shouts as an armoured being leaps from the wall and attacks Franky, the cyborg managing to block the stab with his shield arm
"So cool, a haunted suit of armour!" Luffy cheers
"More likely it's another zombie, this one having been given armour instead of rags to wear" Robin argues with a slight sigh
"That'll make them harder to damage, and less exposed flesh means fire is also less effective" Victor scowls, but readies for a fight
The zombie knight lunges at Franky who blocks and punches back but misses, the 2 failing to deal any actual damage until midblock Franky grabs the sword so the zombie couldn't leap back to evade so he could get a solid Strong Right punch to it's torso, sending it flying but it manages to stay on its feet. Franky then was forced to dodge as it's sent 2 wind slashes from it's sword in a cross formation, annoying the cyborg who opens up his left arm and primes his cannon, setting off a full powered Weapons Left the second the zombie is in range of his weapon
"Stay down you shit" he curses, just as the zombie once more lunges, even faster this time and appears to cut him down
"Franky!" Luffy shouts, the others getting ready to fight now the duel was about to become a melee. The zombie took 2 steps before being grabbed by it's tassel and thrown back into the arena "It'll take more than a nick from a dead guy to take me out" Franky growls almost offended by the very idea, then grimaces as the zombie once more gets up "Damn, this guy is a lot stronger than the goons from outside, and I don't just mean because of the armour"
"Zombies don't feel pain and usually don't feel fatigue, it's why they're the cannon fodder of fictional villains the world over, a theoretically unstoppable army or warrior" Valentina adds, her hands twitching then an idea came to mind "Robin, these things are animated by shadows right?"
"That's the current theory" Robin nods curious
"And the fact the people outside are still alive, means even stolen they are technically still connected to their hosts. Any chance that connection would allow a shadow to be used as the material for a 'sacrifice' and most likely take the original owner and zombie along with them?" she asks, getting a very confused look from the archaeologist who also noticed her hands were twitching in ways that looked familiar to her but unsure where from, making her frown
"So you finally get it" the pig announces cackling "The true power of zombies, they don't feel pain or exhaustion, and the General Zombies are even stronger, because they were powerful even in life. We have a knight, a criminal, a samurai, a pirate and a gunslinger, how could you hope to defeat any of them? Just give up and admit defeat, the end will be swift if you do" he then trots away "Wall Zombie now!" he shouts, a block of stone with an angry face on it seals them off
"Crap, we're trapped in here now" Luffy grunts
"No way back, only forward, which is a problem given we now have even more company" Alvida groans as more General Zombies appear in front of them
"As the only person here who's fought a zombie general, I can definitely say we're kind of up shit creek in a leaky dinghy" Franky states with a sigh
"Probably best we try to flank them and try to get to the courtyard outside" Victor suggests, noticing his companion muttering to herself and still twitching "You ok Val?"
"I think I have an idea, but it'll be potentially painful… for me" she admits
"No!" Vivi screams, Kaya nodding rapidly beside her
"It's either that or we all die" she deadpans to the princess
"Let her do it, hopefully it'll work" Luffy orders
"Thank's Cap. Now Franky, launch me at… that one!" she says pointing to one of the leaner zombies
"WHAT?!"
Elsewhere
"Lola! Lola!" Absolom bellows as he runs along the corridors of the mansion "Damn it, how do I lose a fat, rotten hippo so easily" he growls, then nearly gets knocked over when he turns into a different zombie, tall and hooded, with long clawed, scaly hands, it was clearly something Perona had the Doc make, even down to the oddly mirror like inner lining of the hood, the pink bitch had the oddest idea of what 'cute' meant "Get out of my way you stupid beast, I need to find my bride to be before that damn Lola ruins everything. I get you're one of Perona's playthings, but as a zombie you still answer to me! Master Absolom! Now move" the man yells, the being side steps to allow him to pass
"Of course Master Absolom" the being hisses (Insert Steve Blum here for voice) ignored by the cat faced man as he walks off, not seeing him reach down to pick up the dark glasses previous used to hide his new eyes "Robin molesting Iviso-perv" he spits, turning his sights for any of the others as he stands to full height, taloned feet clicking as he walked. Though he did stop and watch in amusement when the aforementioned Lola crashed through several walls to try sexually assault Absolom, then rip up Nami's wanted poster swearing she would never allow her love to marry that hussy (Kaos felt an odd feeling, like phantom offence on her behalf, but ignored it because anything that annoyed and made life difficult for his enemies was good news for him) then rushes off to try murder her, something he was less ok with.
Speaking of Nami
"If any of you even touch this lady you'll regret it" the penguin dog shouts, before proceeding to kick the shit out of most of the nearby zombies
"What's going on, I'm so confused" Chopper whines, getting a headache
"That penguin is a zombie, why is it fighting on our side?" Usopp thinks aloud
"Did neither of you notice his fighting style, or his mannerisms?" Nami asks, just as the the penguin finishes his 'come at me bro' speech to the 'crappy zombies' "There's no other explanation" she mutters to herself
Back with the main crew
"You're completely insane, you know that right?" Franky asks getting a laugh from the blond
"Probably, also anything that could hold them still for a moment would be greatly appreciated" she adds
"Oh, me next, me next!" Artemis saying hopping up and down with a wide grin
Color Trap: Immobilising Indigo
Color Trap: Bullfight Red
Well, that should at least distract some of the other zombies, while your target is unable to defend themself, but what are you actually planning?" Vivi asks as the generals all mill about in the oversized Red glyph Artemis made on the ground.
"Like I said already, Franky throws me at the zombie and I deal with some of the threat, simple really" she chirps, having retrieved her umbrella, the cyborg sigh but does as asked and yeets the woman across the room
1kilo
Strong Right: Allie cannon
Floating above the zombies, Valentina locks onto her target, and with the correct manoeuvres in mind resets her weight and lets go of the umbrella, dropping to earth on a collision course with the general
Tora, Mi, Inu, Tatsu,
Edo Tensei: Gōyoku
As her palms slam into the ribs of the zombie there's a moment of silence, where nobody knows what happened, other than Valentina's shaking legs. Then the zombie's shadow erupts from the floor and consumes it
Moria
The warlord was just enjoying adding another of the straw hat's shadows to his collection when his eyes widen severely, losing another zombie was of no concern to him, though it was mildly annoying how many the straw hats had culled, the shadows puppeteering them were still completely under his control and would be moved to new bodies, no what gave him pause was something he hadn't felt since moving Thriller Bark into the endless night of the Florian Triangle: He'd lost a shadow
The arena
The end result of the zombie looked nothing like it's former self: It now looked more human with healthy, though black as tar, stitchless skin, short black hair, purple eyes with cat-like slits and long clawed fingers. It was also now wearing what looked to be a fur collared leather jacket, leather pants and pointed shoes, and grinned with a hint of madness present in his body language
"So you do remember your roots mistress, how long it has been" he purrs, his claws glint in the low light as he clenches and unclenches his fists
"Greed, you have zombies to kill" Valentina orders, nearly falling back only for Victor to catch her "Go!"
"At once" he laughs then leaps at the nearest zombie, slicing it's head off with it's nails
"So, we have a zombie on our side, how does that help? They still don't feel pain or fatigue and they could gang up on our one guy" Alvida asks as enough damage had been done to the Red trap that the generals were free again
"Well he has all the regular zombie traits, unbreakable claws, and while he can take damage there is one thing that Edo's are well known for in the legends" she grins as Greed loses an arm from the massive knight's sword slice, only for the lost appendage to crumble to ash and new one to pop out of the socket "They can regenerate Kyahaha!" she laughs as he cleaves the zombie in 2 right down the middle
"Holy shit, it cut through thay armour like butter, what are those claws made of, diamond?" Franky gasps, getting a laugh from the blond
"Kyahaha, like my brother would have used something so pedestrian as diamonds, The bones in his hands were infused with, and the claws made completely from, Seastone" Valentina announces, shocking the crew as that was the one thing they could think of that was considered stronger than diamond
Vivi sighs "I just realised where we're going wrong here" she notes "We're fighting these things like they're people, aiming to knock them out. But they're zombies, so they can't and they're already dead so…"
"Is the diplomatic princess really saying 'Aim to maim'?" Alvida asks with a chuckle
"Yes, especially because we've been told they don't feel pain. Even if we can't stop them from chasing us, an armless, legless or a combination of the 2 and other injuries should at least slow them down and give us a better chance of getting away"
"Ok, let's do this. Tear those zombies apart like crappy toys, then head for the outside!" Luffy orders, leaping forward and batting aside a ton of zombies with a Gum Gum Gatling attack
"1 tord tile 36 calbre Phenex!" came a voice from the dust cloud, followed by a familiar energy wave
"Zoro!" cheered a few of the group "Please tell me you missed and almost hit Luffy by accident" Vivi pleads, then squeaks when instead of their swordsman, a zombie steps forward.
"Scars on the back are the shame of a swordsman, but, I have scars all over my body" the zombie frowns
"Oh fuck!"
"Aren't we glad you didn't pick that one to sacrifice?" Robin chuckles as she see's Valentina's face turn the color of porridge "Also, does anyone know where Luffy went, he was here a second ago?"
"Not the time!" Victor shouts, blowing a zombie to pieces by tackling it and exploding when he hit it "Focus on getting out of here, and we'll all meet up later, that was the plan"
Robin nods "Right, let's go!"
Curtain of Death
"Getting better with those wires love" Alvida laughs, picking up the bluenette and sliding through the opening she'd made, the others following shortly behind with Greed covering their escape
"Ok, that's everyone… except Luffy damn it! Plus the idiot is wearing armour just like the zombies so I can't even pick him out of the crowd" Franky groans, when everyone's focus goes straight up
"This sucks, let me go you bastards!" Came Luffy's muffled yells as the chains above them carry a heavily taped up and shaking coffin across the gap between fortresses
"Luffy's in there?" Alvida gasps, then growls
"Damn, I can't blast him off the chain, he'll probably just land in the water" Victor grimaces
"Same with cutting the chain" Valentina agrees, Greed nodding alongside her
"Which leaves the only option to follow it into the next building and hope it's easier to access inside" Kaya suggests, a couple seconds pass and then everyone once more starts running, this time after the coffin, well until something big and ugly blocked their path
"Is that a zombie mangled to look like a literal spider monkey?" Kaya asks, equal parts scared and confused
"Correct little miss, as a prize I'll tell you this for free, you're not going to last long on this island, either those zombies behind you get to you, or my minions do and send you packing to Master Moria for extraction" the spidermonkey laughs
And… back to Perona's Garden
"Look, I don't know how this works, really wish Robin or Kaos were here to explain this shit, but I'm pretty sure the zombie is Sanji, or somehow connected to him" Nami tries to explain, the penguin's statement of being powered by love making Usopp and Chopper more willing to believe her.
Luckily dumber shit was coming their way to hopefully distract them from Sanji being a penguin-dog, that being a pink warthog in a wedding dress doing as much damage to the surrounding area as an entire herd of elephants charging in their direction, only to turn around and tackle a blond man with a partial cat face and a turban
"Do we even want to know?" the navigator asks, especially when the warthog starts trying to aggressively kiss him, or possibly just impale him on her lips given the indents in the ground she was making.
"Are they friends, or enemies, it's kind of hard to tell" Usopp hums
"Maybe she's just crazy, he seemed to think she would listen to him, only for it to completely backfire" Chopper adds his 2 berris.
"You stupid cow, now you've made me mad!" Absolom shouts, throwing Lola off him, unfortunately it was where she was trying to go originally… right in front of Nami
"There you are, Cat Burglar" Lola grunts "You're going to pay for stealing the most precious thing of Master Absalom"
Nami squeaks and begins to make rapid back steps "What? I mean I know I'm a pirate but I haven't stolen anything today" she tries to defend herself, eyes widening in fear as the warthog pulls out a large axe
"You stole his heart you dam hussie" Lola screams and swings the axe, only for the Pendog to kick it in 2
"You won't lay a hand on the lady" he growls, only to be slapped aside by Lola
"Holy crap, how strong is the warthog?" Chopper yelps
"But why didn't he fight back, he mopped the floor with all the other zombies?" Usopp thinks aloud as the zombie pulls himself out of the wall he'd been thrown into
"I already told you, even if it kills me, I'll never kick a woman!" he shouts
Nami groans, pinching the bridge of her nose "Yep, that's Sanji all right, making this Kalifa all over again. Punch her in the face then you daft mutt!" she screams that last part while Lola was distracted by being angry at Usopp for calling into question her status as a 'woman' (as he would class her as animal, or undead monster personally) she then yelps as she's picked up and thrown over a now invisible Absolom's shoulder like a sexy bag of spuds, as he runs off with his 'bride' "Help, I'm being abducted by the pervert from the shower!"
"He really is invisible, also, damn it I thought I nailed him" Usopp whines, then the 2 pirates give chase, more running after Nami than anything else as at least she was still visible
"I was sizing you up last time, and I've decided you'll be perfect as my bride" the ivisi-perv growls as he reveals himself properly "The name is Absolom, get used to the sound of your future husband's name on your tongue my dear" he chuckles
Nami scowls "I don't keep myself looking this good for pervs to drool over or think they can claim me, I do it for myself. I'm also not the defenceless damsel this time around" she states as she pulls out her Climatact from her belt "Have a taste of this your filthy animal!"
Thunder Charge!
The shockwave and minor explosion sends Nami flying away from her abductor, but luckily she was barely affected unlike him, who was twitching and in pain, though miraculously for him was still standing.
"Great job taking him out Nami but now's not the time for a nap" Usopp yells as he and Chopper catch up to them "Keep running we're not safe in the open!"
Not that their location meant much with an angry warthog charing after them, thought given the yelling and cursing she was doing it was clear exactly what her target was
"Hey, anyone know why the zombie is only after Nami?" Chopper asks
"Nope, and it can't be because of that pervert given she's trying to kill me rather than capture" she answers, fear making her faster, useful when the enemies has swords
"Hey Nami" the red head turns her head "Chopper and I were discussing this while going to rescue you from pervert, but maybe we should split up again" he suggests
Bonk!
"You're selling me out you heartless bastard!" Nami shouts after punching the sniper in the head
"Oh please like you wouldn't do the exact same thing in my position!"
"But I'm supposed to get away with it because of cuteness" Nami whines
"I think that might actually be the root cause of your current situation" Chopper mutters, then screams when he sees Nami sprint ahead of them
"This is exactly my point, you're using us as a shield from this crazy zombie!" Usopp groans, then him and Chopper speed up themselves to avoid being chopped to bits. This strategy worked… until they tripped on a root, at which point the universe reminded them Lola was after Nami when
"Get back here!" the zombie shouts, running right past them "I'll fertilize you!"
"That, sounds less threatening than it probably should" Chopper notes
"Probably because she's a woman and therefore… um, never mind, the point is we're safe" Usopp trails off, unsure if he wants to find out if Chopper understood the concept of rape, partly becasue while 15, he still felt like a small child to the rest of the crew, even Artemis acted like he was her little brother when he wasn't being all 'SuperDoc', probably because Robin seemed to have stealthily adopted the little reindeer boy.
"You're right, we're safe, she only wants to kill… NAMI!" the reindeer shouts, prompting the 2 boys to chase after the zombie they'd just been chased by, in order to protect their crewmate, Usopp riding on Walk Point Chopper to ensure they could actually catch up.
"Give me back my husband!" Lola bellows swinging her swords at Nami's head
"I don't even know what you're talking about" Nami grunts as she blocks the strike with her climatact, luckily Chopper and Usopp managed to catch up with her by this point and try hold back Lola… only to discover zombie warthogs are stronger than a Reindeer-Yeti and a physically average teen, so much so that it was unclear if them hanging off her tusks even slowed her down in her pursuit of Nami.
On the bridge once more
"Ok, so we're boxed in between a zombie hoard and a giant fucktard of a spider-monkey, without any of our usual big hitters, did I miss anything?" Kaya asks, her hands twitching and her revolvers shaking
"No, that's chapter synopsis at the moment" Robin nods "We do still have Franky and one zombie on our side though and the spidermonkey won't be fighting at full power" she adds
"What makes you so sure?" Alvida asks, wondering where she pulled that fact from
"His legs, they're stitched quickly and haphazardly back together, meaning it most likely happened within the last day or so otherwise whoever makes all these zombies would have done something to repair him properly" Robin explains, and the straw hats then notice she was right, some of the legs were stitched together, while others were held together with thick webbing, also though not mentioned was the large slash through the eyepiece and left eye of the zombie, but given the injuries on the zombies it was less concrete as proof.
'How did she, trying to stop that blood bastard shouldn't have been that easy to detect. Maybe I should have just let him… no Master Moria would have done much worse if I hadn't tried to stop him leaving'
"So, who wants to bet what we just witnessed happen to Luffy happened to Zoro, Sanji and Kaos too?" Victor asks, getting ready to blow away anything that comes near them
"I'll take it for Sanji and Zoro, but I think Kaos did just walk off after something else. If he's been caught, he's not gotten to this end of the conveyor at least" Vivi argues, not mentioning the reflect human would have probably put up as much of a fight as their captain if he had been captured already
"Mon-Kae Mon-kae ahahah, another correct assumption. 3 of you have been taken, 2 have joined the ranks and soon the rest will follow. I'd give up now if I were you ahahah"
"This guy's really starting to piss me off, but at least we now know where that web that caught the sunny came from" Franky grunts
"Yep, out of this huge, Spider-butt" Artemis frowns, then contemplates an attack
"Technically correct, but it could have been worded better Artemis" Robin lightly scolds
"If Luffy were here he'd have said something similar, and Kaos would probably have threatened to rip out his silk glands, or more likely let Luffy kick him so hard those glands come out his mouth" Alvida says with a chuckles, her mace resting on her shoulder and her body tense
"You pirates never stood a chance, Mistress Perona's Ghost Network see's all hears all and knows all that happens in Thriller Bark, we've had you right where we wanted you from the moment the gates locked you in ahahah"
"By ghost network you mean those sheet ghosts Kaos bitch slapped into next week?" Valentina asks "Because I don't think Perona was in a mood to do anything after he did that" she chuckles, noticing the comment annoyed the monkey
"So, backs to the wall, both sides of a bridge blocked off, any ideas from the builders, or wreckers of the crew?" Robin asks, a half smile directed at 2 in particular
Franky laughs "Hey Vic get over here, let's show the girls how you make a SUPER exit" he says, hooking up his connector rod to his arms
"We're actually in an almost perfect place to do this, talk about convenience" the bomb man chuckles, blowing into his gun and clenching his left fist
"What? What are you doing?" Tararan shouts in confusion
"Getting away!" Franky smirks, his arms puffing up with compressed air
Coup de Vent
Breeze Bomb- Hand Grenade
As you might expect, the piercing force of Franky's air cannons, alongside a double whammy of Victor's Bomb Bomb fruit activating, dig a ton of damage to the bridge, causing it to fall apart, taking everyone on a trip straight down
"You can't break the bridge man, that's cheating!" Tararan shouts, clinging to the sides as best he could
"So's the unending horde of zombies Spiderclod" Vivi shouts as the Straw hats fall
"So, was my plan Super enough for you Robin?" Franky asks with a wink
"Well it was certainly as destructive as I expected" she deadpans
"It was awesome!" Artemis cheers with star eyes, possibly because Chopper and Luffy weren't here to gush over the combo move
"Hate to be 'that guy' but we're all kind of still falling!" Valentina shouts
"Don't worry, that's part 2" Robin winks, just as Artemis latches onto her and Vivi had pulled Alvida to her and Carue
Cien Fleur - Wings
Syrup Rescue
"Holy crap Robin can fly!" Alvida squeaks, holding tight to Vivi while Karue tries to hold herself up, well until getting tangled in Kaya's syrup tendrils
"Yes I can, for 5 seconds" Robin states, catching Franky while Victor, Valentina and Greed were caught by Kaya
"Lame. Only kidding that's one Super move, now for me to not waste that time. Our medic got the correct side of the bridge, we're all going after the captain" Franky declares, shooting his arm out to grab the edge and pull them over, just in time as Robin's 'Wing' crumbled into petals part way across.
Strong Right
Recall
"Alright, everyone accounted for?" Vivi asks, Greed and Victor pulling Franky up after Robin took initiative and jumped over, using the cyborg's metal skull for balance/stability
"It seems so. Nice to have a little breathing room from those zombies, no offence"
"None taken, these things are crude and inefficient puppets of the Kage Kage no mi, completely different to myself"
"Did Ni-san put his ego in you when he built you too?" Valentina teases
"Given they're zombies that probably won't hold them off for long, but it should give us time to catch our breath and regroup with the others" Robin states, then grimaces as Tararan recovers quicker than expected
"You stupid pirates, you remember I'm a spider right, I'll be up there in just a moment, then I'll wrap you in webs so Master Moria can deal with you at his leisure, ahahahah" he boasts
"Can anyone else hear that?" Kaya hums, looking up her eyes widen significantly
"Looks like something's falling" Victor guesses
"Not something, someONE" Franky corrects, as Brook falls right past them into the courtyard below
"What do you call a flying skeleton? Air Bones!" he shouts just before hitting the ground with a thud
Back with the coward trio
"I don't know, or care why you're doing this, but I'm not going to just stand around and let you hurt my friend" Usopp shouts as he swings out of Lola's tusk
"Keep running Nami, we're doing all we can to slow her down" Chopper calls, continuing to punch at her in Heavy Point
"Your time is up Cat Burglar, only I am good enough for Absolom to marry. Now Get Off Me!" Lola screams, flinging the 2 into the trees behind her, just before Nami trips over a root in her panic "Now die quickly you bitch!"
"Wait you've got this all wrong" Nami screams as the blades swing in her direction "The truth is I'm a man!" she cries, the swords stopping an inch from impaling her
"What!" Lola squeaks
"What!" Chopper screams 'In hindsight, that explains a lot, like why s...he fights with Kaos so much. He's the Sanji to Pop's Zoro'
"Seriously?" Usopp facepalms, now a little worried about Nami's health if Chopper didn't know she was a woman, meaning he may not have done a full health check on their navigator.
"Yeah, 100% a dude, crossdressing, it just feels right. I'm an okama in all but name" Nami chuckles nervously "Mostly because it's kind of a swear word in the East Blue"
"Well at least that's accurate" Usopp mutters catching Choppers attention "Calling a man an okama back home would pretty much be directly calling his manhood into question"
"Also, you and that Ab guy should totally hook up. You'd make a cute couple and I bet you'd have one hell of a wedding night, at least one broken pelvis, am I right?" Nami attempts to tease, though if someone was observant they'd see her hand was trembling
"You mean it?"
"Of course, is this the face of a liar? You two are made for each other"
Lola blinks, then drops to her knees, tears pouring out of them "Thank you, you don't know how much your words mean to me. I was beginning to lose hope, that me and Ab would ever be together, officially"
Nami stands, her confidence returning now she wasn't in immediate danger "Raise your head, I require no such thanks for speaking something anyone with eyes should be able to see. My name is Nami-zo, but you can call me Nami, as all my friends do" she smiles offering a hand
"Friends!" Lola squeals, now eyes flowing with tears of joy
"I'm now afraid of the female species" Chopper whimpers while listening in on Nami and Lola's conversation on how to help her bag her man. Nami may be completely bullshitting it as always, but Lola was eating it all up, believing her nearly breaking his ribs with hugs and trying to pancake his skull with her kiss attacks were her being too passive and she needs to be more assertive and aggressive
"I mean, is knocking him out and making him sign while in that state ethically right, as a human being I mean?" Lola asks, for a moment, unsure of the plan
"Lola babe, you're a zombie and part warthog, you can do it" Nami purrs, patting her shoulder "Loopholes"
"Of course! Now Absolom will be mine!"
"Hey Nami, weren't we about to leave, like 5 minutes ago" Usopp calls, still standing a safe distance away from the zombie
"Right. Hey Lola, I left some things in the Treasure room the last time I was there and wanted to get them back, but I've forgotten where that is. Can you give me directions?" she asks, batting her eyes
"Of course you silly goose, it's right by Mistress Perona's quarters, like 2 doors down, can't miss it…" Lola continues to give more detailed directions, in between complaining about Perona while Usopp sighs, trust Nami to use any chance she could to get more loot. All was going well until he saw the top of Absalom's hat over the low wall
"Nami, he's here!" he stage whispers, pointing behind him
"This is it Lola, go over there and get your man. I'll never see him again and that's fine with me, I don't even like dudes anyway, tits for me all the way. Send me a wedding photo if you can, bye!" Nami says as she stands up and begins to follow the directions, while Lola charges directly towards her beloved, to his mounting horror
"That, was almost too easy, that God for retarded zombies" Ussop mumbles as her follows Nami away
"A non violent solution for a change, or at least one where we're not the ones inflicting the violence" Chopper chuckles, bringing up the rear
Checking in on the captain
"Wow, you're one fat bastard" Luffy says upon finally meeting Moria, his brain to mouth filter having died years ago. The zombies that brought him hear panic but the aforementioned fat fuck seemed almost amused
"So, you're the famous Straw Hat Luffy I've heard so much about. You're energetic if nothing else Kishishishi" he laughs as he sits in the dark opposite Luffy
"And you must be Moria, I hear you're a real jerk and a shadow thief" Luffy states, the mini zombies only getting more worried as things progress
"Kishishishi, oh you're exactly what I expected from a boy with a 320 million beri bounty, and will make the perfect underling. That energy is just what I need to continue my plans"
"Underling! Fuck that you dumbass I'm nobody's underling. Who do you think you are making a claim like that?"
"Who do I think I am, was that question asked ironically? Kishishishi, it's obvious. I am the man who will be king of the pirates!" Moria announces, to a silent room.
Perona's domain
"Ok, we lost him… shit he's back, Lola barely slowed him down" Nami whines seeing him coming closer from over the edge of Perona's balcony
"Nami get over her" Usopp whisper shouts, pointing to a strange object with an opening they could climb into
"Are you sure, what even is this?"
"Who cares, as long as it keeps us hidden it's fine" the sniper hisses back.
Unfortunately what they were hiding in was Kumase, Perona's stuffed bear zombie. Not that they could go anywhere else with Absolom coming up the stairs at that very moment
"Hey, Kumase!" he bellows as he enters the area
"Pervsa… I mean Master Absolom, this is bad. It seems intruders have..." Kumase splutters around his facemask
"Hold on" Absolom interrupts " This is more important, did you see 3 pirates run through here?" he asks
"Actually, that's the thing…" Kumase continues only to be once more interrupted
"Absolom!" Perona shouts, clearly annoyed by his prescience "What do you want, I've told you before I don't like you being in my room or near any of my things. Going to need to rewash all my underwear… again" she mutters the last part
"Perona" Absolom growls, though that might just be because of the whole 'cat' thing
"Welcome back Mistress Perona, is there anything..."
"Yes, kindly shut the fuck up, how many times do I need to tell you that?"
"Of course but just this once…"
"Zip it before I ask Hogback to do it for you. Nobody cares what you have to say, especially with a voice like that!"
"Don't you think that's a little harsh, and by little I mean really too harsh on Kumase, he's there to help you after all"
"Yes, and given he's my underling, what does it matter to you how I treat MY subordinates"
"Speaking of your subordinates, can you do something about Lola?"
Perona shrugs and twirls her umbrella "Afraid not, she's just expressing the personality of her shadow's previous owner. Anyway did you hear yet, Master is calling for us, sounds like he thinks 900 is going to be operational soon" she almost chirps
"Master Absolom!" Hildon shouts as he flies to Perona's chambers "Glad I found you, oh hello Mistress Perona. I come with more news. In addition to the Straw hats we have another arrival: The Humming Swordsman!"
Absalom's eyes widen "He's back?"
The courtyard
"Was that what I think it was?" Franky asks in confusion
"If you mean the skelton from earlier falling from the sky, then yes" Vivi says with a nod
"Given the crater, it can't be anyone else" Robin chuckles, as there was even an indentation on the ground for his afro to fit in.
"We should probably go help the poor bugger, that fall had to hurt even if he's as easy to kill as a zombie these days" Valentina hums.
Unfortunately Brook's arrival was enough of a distraction for the spidermonkey to start spinning silk, forming a gooey web to get him back up to the straw hat crew "I'm back Ahahah, you think you were done with me just because you broke one shitty bridge? Don't make me laugh"
"Great, the biggest problem is back. Hey Robin, think you and a few of the um, less tanky of our crewmates can keep him distracted for a couple minutes, I have an idea on how to make a spider smasher"
"I can't really say no now can I?" she says with an eye roll, ignoring the irritable zombie cimera as Franky, Victor, Greed, Valentina and Alvida run off
"Don't ignore me, I'll web you up so well you'll be joining the hoard by dawn" he bellows and swings his arms forwards, revealing Hogback had put the spider spinnerets in his palms rather than it's thorax
"Well that's convenient. You played yourself like a kazu" Robin says with a smirk, blooming hands around Tararan's still functional right eye
Sticky Web barrage
Seis Fleur: Slap
"Ah you bitch, you slapped my eye… shit now I'm blind you cheating whore!" Tararan screams, clutching his face due to the slap, only to realise he'd just webbed up his eyes and a good portion of his face in the process
"We're pirates dumbass, of course we 'cheated' as you call it. You could also call it tactics, and using your opponent's abilities against them" Robin counters
"Very nice there Robin, now for our turn" Franky grins as they arrive back
"Oh you're done already, what did you do?" Kaya asks curiously
"I put my steel nunchucks into one of the stone pillars lining some of these hallways. Adds weight and reach to the weapon don't cha know?" he asks with a chuckle "Now, I think you deserve the honour, show us how strong one of these Ultra zombies are" he passes the nunchuck to Greed who smirks
"Hey, maybe we can talk this out"
"No, because when a monster is this big, the only option, is to SMASH it extra hard!"
Heavy Nunchaku
"It's an effective weapon, but personally I prefer my claws" Greed hums, throwing the nunchucks back to Franky who proceeds to wail on the spider thing, Alvida joining in when it was clear he didn't have any tricks left to pull. Or so they thought
"Enough already!" he screams, using his webs to shoot away and restrain the nunchucks "Ahahah, no more smashing me in the face for you chuckles fucks. Too bad for yo… wait what are you doing?" Tararan asks as Franky sighs and opens up his left arm, then proceeds to fire into his face at point blank range
Weapons Left
"Is it down ye...ah sticky goo!" Artemis squeaks, causing the others to look up in time for a hoard of Spider Mice to drop down and ensnare them
"Damn it, these must be what got Zoro, Luffy and Sanji" Alvida growls, her and Franky turning to deal with the pests, only to get webbed up by a still functional Tararan
"Ahahah, seems you let your guard down. These are my minions and collections squad, the Spidermice. There are over 500 hundred of them throughout Thriller Bark and they're never..." he winces "once" another wince "twice" another "Stop eating my mice!" he shouts at the sky, confusing the pirates
"Seems someone is fighting back, intriguing" Greed purrs "Don't get much resistance round here do you?"
"Of course not" one of the spider mice answer "Dr. Hogback made our silk unbreakable, and with our stealth skills we can catch you unaware and ensnare you before you can fight back"
"Doesn't matter how strong you are and what abilities you have, once you're in our webs it's game over!" another boasts
"Meaning your problem pirate, hasn't been caught in your webs yet" Robin smirks, getting her mouth sealed with webbing by an annoyed spidermouse
Yohohoho, Yohoho, Yohohoho Yohoho
Tararan frowns, looking around in confusion "What the fuck is that?" he asks, referring to the haunting singing coming from… somewhere
Yohohoho, Yohoho, Yohohoho Yohoho
"Looks like the cavalry has arrived" Victor smirks, meeting eyes with Val and Robin who have similar expressions
"Gather up all of the Crew, it's time to ship out Bink's Brew" the song goes on, thoroughly unnerving the Spidermonkey "The wind it blows, to where who knows? The waves will be our guide! O'er across the ocean's tide, rays of sunshine far and wide! The birds, they sing, of cheerful things in circles passing by!"
"Stop it, stop this god damn singing" Tararan orders uselessly as Brook ignores him
"Yohohoho. My goodness, it seems you all came to this island after all. It is a pleasure to be reunited by the way" Brook says with a slight bow
"Wait, how did you get from the courtyard to all the way up here?" Kaya asks looking confused
"I jumped of course, I'm quite light with all the dead weight gone" he replies with a slight chuckle "Since you're all already here there's no sense in holding back. Now should be the best time to tell you about this island"
"Who are you, what are you? You're not a zombie, does that mean you're actually with these pirates?" Tararan demands answers, and as a future Straw Hat Brook gives him the metaphorical middle finger and continues talking
"One moment please, I just have a small problem to deal with promptly" Brook hums, then sheaths his cane sword, his bony face a visage of horror
Three-Verse Humming: Arrow Notch Slash
Blood erupts from Tararan's head and his most severely damaged limbs sever, dropping uselessly onto the web, while the Straw hat's watch in stunned silence.
TBC
LW: So… anyone who knew what Edo Tensei was could guess what I was going to the moment Valentina mentioned it back in Water 7, and in doing so used an ironic lack of subtlety to show where I'm leading Val to, and add FMA to the list of universe I'm pulling characters from to create counterparts of thanks to Greed there. Maybe I should add that to the tags, all the alt. Universe versions of characters in the series, or at least the universes I pull from if not the specific characters.
Question: Does anyone else think of Count von Count from Sesame Street when that spidermonkey laughs? Because I sure do "One Ahahah, Two Ahahah" my brain does the oddest things.
