Episode 42 - The Hacking and its Sacking

Over in the area where the pilot locker rooms were located, Toji was leaning against a wall supported by his right arm, a shocked look on his face. Said look would be justified, considering what Shinji and Asuka had just told him about regarding the true intentions of SEELE and the former's own father, and how it would be up to them to stop both things from happening. Toji forced his shock to subside a bit as he faced his two friends.

"Where's Ayanami right now?" he asked. The bluenette was noticeably absent from their group.

"She went ahead to get in Unit-00," Shinji answered.

"Said she wanted to be ready when things start going down," Asuka added, before looking at the watch on her plugsuit's left cuff. "Which should be right about..."

Before she could utter another word, the alarms started to blare throughout HQ.

"...Now," she finished, before looking back up at Toji. "We don't have a lot of time, so listen up, stooge. Let's just get in our plugs, stand by for our cue, and save the world like we mean it. Think of Hikari, think of your sister, think of everyone you care about and DON'T think about failure." She then gave some of her focus to Shinji as she took his hand in hers. "Now let's MOVE 'EM OUT!" Both boys nodded and the three of them soon dashed to the EVA cages, where the plugs were waiting for them. Before they did anything else, both Shinji and Asuka shared a quick kiss for good luck, and then they, and Toji, headed up the gangways to their waiting plugs, and proceeded to get inside.

"Not a moment too soon," Rei commented from a vid-screen as soon as the other plugs finished their startup procedures.

The bridge, around that time...

A pinging then sounded off from Makoto's console, indicating a new alert. Makoto checked it, and reported back to Misato. "Just confirmed," he said, "Someone in Tokyo-2's just issued Special Order A-801!"

"Just like Kaji predicted," Misato said to herself, before she began issuing orders. "You heard it right, people! As of now, NERV's special legal status has just been rescinded! We're on our own now, so get ready to fend off any and all incursions!"

The reports started coming in like clockwork as soon as something was detected making its way into the MAGI.

"Confirmed," Shigeru stated, "we've got four MAGI-type units trying to make their way into our systems. China, Russia, and Germany's are confirmed so far."

"Good. We were expecting this," Ritsuko affirmed. She then quickly brought up a secure video-chat up on her tablet, with Hitomi Kaga answering on the other end. "Hitomi, all set on your side?"

"All set," Dr. Kaga confirmed, "my team's raring to go". Both head scientists then turned to their respective subordinates, their typing fingers itching to get started.

"GO!" they both ordered. In that instant, Makoto, Maya, and Shigeru (on one side of the world), and Aoi, Satsuki, and Kaede (on the other) ran their fingers across the keyboard with great speed as they brought up their counter-hacking program. Both were supported by Dexter and R.O.D.D.Y. as the counter-program's avatars appeared on one of the larger screens of Central Dogma. The form it took was unconventional, but oddly fitting: a small squadron of 8-bit tanks positioned behind some pre-fab barriers. The hackers' virus, in turn, took on the form of some 8-bit aliens.

"Gee, now where've we seen that before?" Roddy asked in a bemused voice.

Misato looked at Ritsuko with a slightly-baffled look on her face. "Space Invaders?"

Ritsuko smiled before she replied. "It's mine and Hitomi's favorite arcade classic. We used to try to one-up each other with some ROM copies back in sophomore year. Figured it wouldn't hurt, aesthetically-speaking."

As the others watched, the bridge bunnies of two NERV branches operated the counter-virus like a well-oiled machine, taking down as many of the critters that made up the hacker virus. Observing all of this, Freakazoid, after briefly assuming a contemplative pose, quickly got out a boombox from behind his person and placed it on a console next to him.

"Needs a bit of background motivational music, in my humble opinion," he said gleefully as he pressed 'play'.

[Suggested music: "Tom Sawyer" by Rush.]

One tech's ears immediately perked up at the sound of the Canadian prog-rock band. "Oh, YEAH!" Shigeru enthusiastically said as he briefly looked Freakazoid's way, "Like the way you think, Freak-man!"

"Less talk-y, more type-y!" Ritsuko commanded, causing Shigeru to renew his focus on the task at hand. The two sets of bridge bunnies, along with Dexter, were sweating as they ran their fingers across their respective keyboards, timing every keystroke and the shot each tank fired, all unconsciously to the rhythm and beat of the song, allowing them to take out wave after wave of the virus, even as their barriers were worn down. Techs on both sides of the globe rushed to towel them off or 'refuel' them with Gatorade while the bridge bunnies kept up their valiant efforts, like one would do with a pro football team between plays. It was such an uncanny sight that even Gendo and Fuyutsuki were astounded by. Finally, after what seemed like a never-ending struggle, the last of the virus 'creatures' was taken out by a shot fired from Maya.

"Got 'em!" Maya shouted excitedly as the rest of the bridge erupted into cheers. Their celebration was short-lived when they noticed that one lone 'mothership' was still standing.

"Quick! Take it down!" Misato ordered. The two sets of bridge bunnies immediately sprang into action, taking turns firing off shots at the mothership, only for it to remain unscathed.

"What's with that thing? We can't even make a dent in it!" Aoi wondered worriedly.

SEELE virtual meeting room, around that same time...

"Don't assume you can foil me that easily," Gutierrez said with a smirk as he oversaw the operation of the viral hacking. "Activate the mothership's advance!"

On his order, one of his lackey programmers entered in the command, causing the 'mothership' to begin advancing...

NERV HQ, the bridge...

"What do we have on that thing?" Ritsuko asked.

"I've been running an analysis," Naoko answered as she pulled up some data. "This thing's the 'big gun' they held in reserve in case the initial wave failed to penetrate our cyber-defenses. Its coding is composed of more sterner sequencing than we'd previously thought, and if it makes it past our firewalls, it'll go off like an N2 mine. The Central MAGI will be finished!"

"Even worse," Maya reported, "a lot of our counter-viral defenses were worn down heavily by the initial waves. We can't withstand another assault!"

"Isn't there anything we can do at all?" Freakazette asked.

R.O.D.D.Y., at that moment, grew a very determined look on his face. "There is, lass," the digi-Scotsman said. "I'll upload meself into the system and execute a M.A.D. protocol that'll overrun its directives an' take it out."

"M.A.D.?" Misato asked, before she grew a worried look on her face. "Isn't that-?!"

"Mutually-Assured Destruction," Ritsuko grimly finished. The Freaks and Naoko became shocked by what that meant.

"You can't!" Freakazoid fearfully said as he clutched R.O.D.D.Y.'s mobile projector unit. "You'll be wiped out too!"

"Ye think I don't know that?!" R.O.D.D.Y. barked back. "If Ah don't do this, then none o' us will be walkin' away from the disaster that thing will bring about. Ah'm sorry, laddie, but I gotta pull a Mr. Spock on ye. Needs of the many an' all that, ye know how it goes."

"He's right, lad," Roddy said as he put a reassuring hand on Freakazoid's shoulder. "Like it or not, it's the only way."

Freakazoid tried to say something, but the gravity of the situation made him realize that both Roddys were telling the truth, and he stepped back.

R.O.D.D.Y. then faced Naoko. "It's been an honor, Dr. Akagi."

Naoko nodded solemnly in turn. "Same here."

R.O.D.D.Y. then turned to Ritsuko. "Ritsy, as soon as ye plug me in, have the bridge bunnies attach every remainin' piece of the counter-virus to me coding. Gotta get meself up to the virus's level so it won't plow past me."

Ritsuko nodded as she took a USB connector cable and plugged R.O.D.D.Y.'s unit into the console she was at. "Thank you. For everything," she said.

"Anytime," R.O.D.D.Y. said with a slight smile as he then transferred from the mobile unit to the console. From there, the bridge bunnies quickly keyed in the remaining parts of the counter-virus to attach themselves to R.O.D.D.Y., until finally, the digital Scotsman appeared on the larger screen, full-bodied and carrying a set of bagpipes. R.O.D.D.Y. faced the mothership virus, both hands set on the pipes.

"All right, ye reject from Taito's drawin' board," R.O.D.D.Y. started to say defiantly, "by Sir Ian McKellen's white, wavy robes-YE SHALL NOT PASS!"

R.O.D.D.Y. then began to play on the bagpipes, the familiar notes of "Scotland the Brave" pouring out as he flew on a collision course with the mothership program. The eyes of most observers on the bridge widened in astonishment at the spectacle unfolding before them, and a few let out some shocked gasps as the two digital forces clashed. Those on the bridge briefly shielded their eyes as the large screen lit up with an explosive flash; when they brought their arms down, the screen was empty. Misato chose that moment to assess the situation.

"Status report?" she asked Makoto.

Makoto checked the diagnostics of the MAGI before he answered. "Hacking attempt has been permanently stopped. Virus has been destroyed."

"And R.O.D.D.Y.?" she asked further.

Makoto solemnly shook his head, confirming the worst. The others looked concernedly at Freakazoid.

"I'm sorry, kid," Sgt. Kusagabe said as he put a reassuring hand on the wacky wonder's shoulder. "He's gone."

Freakazoid, lips quivering momentarily while tears welled in his eyes, then turned and bawled his heart out into Kusagabe's shoulder. "Why, why, why, WHY-HU-HU-HU-HYYYYYYYYYY?!" Kusagabe proceeded to pat his back as he comforted him.

Freakazette handed a tissue box to Freakazoid, who promptly took some and blew into the wad with a loud, long *HONK!*. Bo-Ron bowed his head slightly; the Lawn Gnomes bowed their heads and removed their hats, holding them to their hearts.

"Man, he hasn't reacted like this since finding out years ago that they got rid of the motorboat ride at Disneyland," Freakazette said, shaking her head. Misato and Ritsuko, a bit wide-eyed on hearing that detail, gave each other a silent nod, indicating that they probably shouldn't tell him about what happened to Tokyo Disney.

"*SNIFF* That made water come out my eyes," a blubbering Freakazoid said.

"If it's any consolation, laddie," Roddy consoled, "he's probably in a better place now."

Freakazoid sniffed a bit before responding. "You think so?" he asked.

"Yeah, he's probably gone to that cloud thing they keep talking about on the internet," Kusagabe suggested.

The three bridge bunnies of NERV-Central looked at one another on hearing that statement. Maya shrugged. "That...actually would make sense," she said.

Gendo, observing all this from his command perch, rolled his eyes. "Oh, for Pete's sake..." he grumbled quietly. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't quiet enough since everyone else soon was glaring daggers at him, slightly surprising the commander. "What? What did I say?"

Ignoring his insensitive remarks, the others turned back to consoling Freakazoid. Chatter soon erupted from the comms.

"Misato? Everything okay?" Shinji asked.

"Did you beat back the hacking attempt?" Asuka asked.

Misato spoke into her comm headset as she answered them. "We did, guys," she replied.

"Why do you sound so sad then?" Shinji asked.

Misato hesitated a bit before just going with the honest answer. "We...We had a casualty," she said. "R.O.D.D.Y. sacrificed himself to stop the hack's last gasp."

Shinji, Asuka, and Rei gasped upon hearing this.

"Guys?" a slightly-confused Toji started to ask. "Who's R.O.D.D.Y.?"

The other three didn't say anything at first, until Rei did. "Of all the souls, real or artificial, that I have met," the bluenette started to say, "his was the most...human..."

-X-

At that moment, somewhere in America, William Shatner sneezed. Baffled, he looked around, just wondering where that had come from.

-X-

Roddy then helped Freakazoid stand straight back up. "We'll mourn digi-me later," he said sternly, "'cause right now, we've bigger things ta worry about."

"He's right," Misato affirmed. "We won this battle, but there's still a war to finish." She then shot Freakazoid a confident grin. "Think you can help us beat the bad guys?"

Freakazoid sniffled one last time, before letting his own confident grin adorn his face. "Who says I can't?" He then tossed the wad of gooey tissue into a nearby wastebasket, before raising his fist high. "You hear that, Gutierrez?! Is that the best you got?! Come and get us, ya weenie!"

Gendo uttered a low growl as he briefly clenched his fists. "He just had to say that weenie word..."

SEELE virtual meeting room...

Gutierrez and the rest of the SEELE council had been surprised by how their hacking attempt had been finally quashed.

"This we definitely did not see coming," one SEELE councilman said.

"They certainly aren't making acquiring the MAGI easy, that's for sure," another said.

"Indeed," Gutierrez affirmed. "I'd hoped we could get this done with less...violent means. But it appears we will have to get rough for this one." He then eyed two of the other council members. "Give the order-initiate the armed response at once!"

To be continued...

**Author's Note(s)**

The battle begins, and one character doesn't make it! For those of you attached to him, my humblest apologies.

Yes, both NERV teams essentially beat back SEELE's hacking attempts with Space Invaders, continuing a trend started in my prior "Super-Wackos of EVA" story "NERV Gets Juiced".

Freakazoid adding his own 'soundtrack' is a nod to season 2, episode 5 of Chuck, "Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer", though the videogame in that episode was Missile Command.

R.O.D.D.Y. invokes two famous cinematic heroic sacrifices: Leonard Nimoy's Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and Ian McKellen's Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

Freakazoid's mourning and Freakazette's comment about it refers to the events of the season one segment "The Cloud", where Freakazoid had learned of the closing of both the Motor Boat Cruise and Skyway rides at Disneyland in 1993 and 1994, respectively. Freakazoid's quote following that is recycled from "The Chip (Act IV)", when Roddy disappears into the internet and leaves a message behind.

Rei's statement (and the Shatner sneeze) also invokes Wrath of Khan.

Next time: more physical action sequences, I promise!