Chapter 91.

Penelope couldn't remember the last time she'd been chauffeured by someone other than Parker.

With the sole exception of the driverless taxis that now haunted London's streets, the Grey Ninja had always been the one behind the wheel whenever she'd needed a lift anywhere.

Still, Scott Tracy was a decent substitute. Sure, he fell short of Parker's experience by about forty years, but having four younger brothers meant that his driving skills were pretty top-notch.

Gordon had called shotgun, much to Kayo's frustration. Penelope snickered at the obvious pout that formed on the other woman's face when she learnt that she wouldn't be the one sitting up front. Nope, that privilege was reserved for Gordon, who apparently suffered from severe carsickness unless he was in the passenger seat.

Kayo reluctantly agreed to indulge the aquanaut. Vomit in the footwell was all they needed to round off the doozy of a morning they were all suffering.

And things weren't over yet.

"Take the next left," Penelope instructed, keeping an eye on the aerial scans EOS was streaming to her while simultaneously touching up her ruined eyeliner, "Be careful, though. We're approaching a school zone."

Scott nodded and slowed to a more child-friendly speed.

Predictably, Kayo wasn't amused, "It's ten o'clock you idiot! School started an hour ago."

Blue met green in the rear-view mirror, "It's still a risk I'm not willing to take, Kayo."

"Seriously?" Thunderbird Shadow's pilot unclipped her seatbelt and leant forward, one hand braced against the back of Scott's headrest, "We're trying to bring the Hood's two main henchmen to justice, and you're concerned about mowing down a couple of non-existent kids?"

"Safety comes first," Gordon quipped, inviting himself into the conversation while Scott's attention was preoccupied with a couple of helmetless cyclists.

Kayo's eyes nearly ejected themselves from their sockets, "Gordon, they've already tried to bury you once. Who's to say they won't try again? Make no mistake, those two could kill you if they really wanted to."

Gordon shrugged, "So could a car. So could a mosquito. So could a demented duck. They ain't as special as they like to think, Kayo."

Penelope nodded, a quiet curse escaping when a pothole caused her eyeliner to smear, "Gordon's right, Kayo. Those two may be heartless, but they're not particularly smart. We've seen what depths they'll stoop to and can now account for it in our own planning."

"What planning?" Kayo quacked, rocking her weight forwards in a futile attempt to make the pink Rolls Royce go faster, "We're in a car chase, yet still obeying the speed limit. Also, we have none of our gear."

An ominous silence travelled around the car as each occupant digested this unwelcome piece of information. Penelope was gazing at the yoga pants and tank top that Kayo was wearing as if she'd only just clocked their existence, while Scott and Gordon were staring down at their pyjamas in silent disbelief. Still, at least they'd remembered to bring a couple of jackets…

"They obviously don't consider us much of a threat," Penelope commented, her gaze flicking across the coordinates churning out of her compact mirror, "Scans show they haven't even bothered engaging their active camouflage."

Kayo groaned and flopped back in her seat, defeated, "I give up. I should have stayed with Virgil and Alan. At least they don't have sit here and watch Scott using his turn signal in the middle of a goddamn car chase!"

Scott's hands tightened around the steering wheel by a fraction, "Safety, Kayo. You may be happy running red lights, but I for one, do not want the blood of an innocent civilian on my hands."

"Yeah, you tell her, bro!" Gordon whooped, digging around in his pocket and fishing out a small, unopened McDonalds container, "Hungry?"

Scott opened his mouth in lieu of replying, his hands refusing to leave the wheel. Taking the hint, Gordon seized a fistful of cold fries and leant over, shovelling them in his brother's mouth like a parent bird.

Kayo and Penelope rolled their eyes. Boys.

Peace was not destined to last, however.

After finishing his fries and polishing off the vanilla milkshake he'd brought, Gordon began to turn an interesting shade of green. Within minutes, he was doubled at the waist and breathing deeply, his eyes shining with nausea.

Much to Penelope and Kayo's horror, Scott wasn't looking much healthier.

"Pull over," Gordon demanded, one hand already on the door handle, "I'm gunna be sick."

"What?" Kayo squawked, her tone sharp, "We can't stop! We're already ten miles short of our targets!"

Scott however, had different plans. Peering into the distance, he spied an empty layby bordering what looked like a nature strip. John, Virgil and EOS could communicate the Chaos Crew's projected route and current coordinates to the local GDF base. Right now, he had bigger concerns. Namely, the McDonalds breakfast that was rapidly backpedalling up a certain aquanaut's oesophagus.

Scott hadn't even parked the car before Gordon practically fell out of the passenger seat, his hands clawing at the grass as he tried desperately to belly-shuffle his way behind the safety of a tree. Penelope had already seen his pineapple pants. No way was he also allowing her the privilege of watching him upchuck.

Eyes were diverted and polite coughs emitted as Kayo and Penelope emerged from FAB 1 against the acoustic backdrop of a heaving Gordon.

"I hear Grandma Tracy gave you the recipe for her famous sprout strudel as a birthday gift," Penelope began, checking her reflection in one of the wingmirrors, "Wasn't that the culprit that gave John and Brains acute food poisoning two years ago?"

Kayo opened her mouth to answer, but was distracted by the sight of Scott leaning on FAB 1's bonnet, his chest rising and falling as he drank in great gulps of air.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kayo asked, her eyes narrowing in concern when an unauthorised burp escaped from the eldest brother, "You look a little peaky."

Scott waved a hand to acknowledge that he'd heard Kayo, but made no move to raise his head.

In the background, Penelope scampered off to go and check on Gordon.

"Mayonnaise and doughnuts, bad combo!" Scott moaned, beaching himself across the cool surface of pink saloon's hood. A few seconds passed before another involuntary belch escaped.

Kayo had all the time in the world for Scott, but dealing with partially digested food was off the cards for her. Always had been, always would be.

Wordlessly, she opened the driver's door and retrieved one of Parker's 'good old fashioned' sick bags before handing it over to the eldest Tracy, equally as wordlessly.

Scott wasted no time in snatching the bag and staggering off to join his retching younger brother, barrelling past a slightly traumatised looking Penelope in the process.

"How bad is he?" Kayo asked, sighing as she glanced woefully at the distant dot on Penelope's tracker that was Havoc and Fuse. At the rate they were travelling, they'd probably be out of the country within the hour.

Penelope closed her eyes, pursed her lips and shook her head, "Remember that time Alan ate a bowl of fake fruit?"

"I do, yes," Kayo replied, her voice laced with dubiety, "But he was only seven."

"Remember the styrofoam flatulence that followed?" Penelope ploughed on, lacing her hands together as memories she'd worked hard to bury began to resurface, "And how John ended up being hospitalised after being stuck in the same room as him for ten minutes?"

Kayo nodded, "The doctor said he may never fully recover."

"Now imagine someone painting with their organs," Penelope instructed, her voice flat, "And you'll have the very scene that I just witnessed. Needless to say, Gordon overindulged at breakfast and is now beyond help."

"And Scott?" Kayo asked, slightly confused as to how Alan's embarrassing encounter with a decorative centrepiece at a fancy restaurant had anything to do with his immediate brother's appetite.

Clearly, Penelope wasn't thinking straight.

"I'M GUNNA NEED A BIGGER BAG!"

And from the sound of things, neither was Scott.

-x-

The Tracys were a truly remarkable family.

Wealthy, well-educated, respected across the globe, the list went on and on. On a more intrinsic level, they were kind, selfless, patient and sympathetic, a combination not many men could lay claim to…at least genuinely.

The fact that this combination was present in not just one or two brothers, but all five was a true testament to the vein of integrity that ran all the way from Grandma Tracy down to Alan (and little Celery).

All that being said, they weren't without their flaws. Scott was bossy, Virgil was oversensitive, John was withdrawn, Gordon was slobby, and Alan was whiney.

There was one trait that all five brothers shared, however.

Stubbornness.

None of them knew when to call it quits, or when to back off from a situation. Sure, they were excellent at telling each other to do it, but when it came down to actually having to do it themselves, they were incapable of practising what they preached.

Despite being violently ill not ten minutes ago, Scott had insisted on driving when he and Gordon finally dragged their sorry corpses back to FAB 1. Both brother's faces were grey and a casual mention of lunch on Penelope's part had them both gagging and furiously shaking their heads.

"I'm never eating again," Gordon declared, gingerly lowering himself back into the passenger seat, a packet of ginger drops clutched in his hand. His grandmother had prescribed them to him after his last bout of carsickness (which had culminated in a certain aquanaut puking over a certain engineer's lap).

Kayo snorted at the falsity of Gordon's statement before frowning at the brother sat parallel to him, "Are you sure you're okay, Scott? Why don't you stretch out on the backseat while I drive us home?"

Scott managed to shake his head, "No, we have to intercept Havoc and Fuse. EOS is still tracking their vehicle, and Gordon has a bone to pick with them…"

Gordon quirked a disbelieving brow and crunched loudly on a sweet, "You can't be serious. What would I even do if I caught them?"

"Dunno," Scott mumbled, draining a bottle of water Penelope had handed him in two gulps, "Bore them to death with your alphabet burps probably."

"Hey, it took me three years to perfect those," the aquanaut snapped, "You're just jealous because you could never master D and S."

"Whatever," the eldest Tracy sighed, ignoring his third brother as if he were an oversized gnat, "Which route is EOS recommending we take?"

"Uh, carry on along this road for another four miles," Penelope replied, glancing nervously at Kayo as Scott helped himself to a couple of Gordon's ginger drops and stamped on the gas.

"I'm sending Virgil our coordinates," Kayo assured, taking discreet note of the way Penelope's face paled when Scott accidentally turned the windscreen wipers on, "He's already offered to come and get us if- HOLY HELL ON A THUNDERBIRD!"

A loud 'boom' reverberated around the inside of FAB 1, closely followed by a whooshing sound as the pink Rolls Royce began to violently fishtail from side to side. Despite Scott's best attempts at manual stabilisation, he was powerless to stop the affectionately dubbed 'pink heffalump' from banking to the left as she skidded to an ungraceful halt at the side of the road, steam seeping from under her front right wheel arch.

Four airbags exploding in four faces was the icing on the cake.

Half a minute of horrified silence passed before someone summoned up the strength to speak.

Predictably, it was Gordon.

"Okay, what was that?" the aquanaut rasped, raising his head from where he'd had it wedged between his knees in the crash position, "Did we hit something?"

"No, I think we drove over something," Scott wheezed, using both hands to whack his airbag into submission, "It felt like some kind of demolition charge, probably left behind for us by the Chaos Crew. They want us off the trail."

"Can it be fixed?" Penelope asked, flipping open her compact mirror and pulling up FAB 1's mechanical blueprints, "Scans show minor damage to the front bumper and a complete tyre blowout."

"We'll have to patch it up ourselves," Scott replied, massaging his neck to check for whiplash, "It'll take Virgil too long to get here and I'd rather not involve a tow company."

Kayo wilted at the prospect of physical labour, "Oh, this is just great! Any other disasters I should schedule in before lunch?"

"Kayo, look at the positive side!" Gordon chirped, raising his hands in a shrug of optimistic surrender, "These things can't get any-"

Bang.

A flash of lightning suddenly lit up the sky, followed half a second later by a boom of thunder and a sheet of the most torrential rain any of them had ever seen.

Scott wasn't amused.

"I'm sorry, were you going to say worse?" the eldest sniped, turning to glare icicles at his younger brother.

Gordon lowered his gaze and shrank in on himself, "No."

"You're sure?" Scott dared.

Gordon nodded, "Absolutely."

"Quite sure?"

"Without a doubt."

"One hundred percent sure?"

"Oh yes, most definitely."

"So sure you'd bet Thunderbird Four?"

"The keys are next to the bread bin. Please don't hurt me."