Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"What?!" Steve immediately hissed. "Why would you even ask that? Are you fucking kidding me? Cath, I want you to move in because I want to be with you!"

Catherine took another long drink from her wine glass, "You can't seriously be mad about me thinking there MAY be an underlying motivation there. Admit it. There's been a rivalry between the two of you since he asked me out at the bar in Coronado like ten years ago." She hopped off the kitchen counter, "If this is just your way of one-upping him, I'm not interested."

Steve grabbed her arm as she made a move for the door, "Catherine, stop." He twisted her around until she rammed into his chest.

"What."

"Stay." He pleaded.

"Steve." She warned. "I'm not gonna be the ruler in your dick measuring contest."

His hand on her wrist loosened and found the soft curve of her waist. "Catherine, stay." He urged again. "You and me. In this house."

Catherine didn't close the space between them. She stood her ground. Not wanting to give him an immediate win, she conceded with, "I'll think about it."


"You almost done running financials?" Billy called out as he looked up from his laptop. "Cutler's about to be leaving for work. We gotta hit the road."

Catherine looked up from Billy's kitchen table. "Huh?" She had advised him against the pricey office spaces he had his eye on until they had done more than a few jobs and had a reliable client list. For now, his four seat kitchen table was the intel department and the lumpy couch where Billy was stationed was logistics and prep.

Billy poked his head around the corner, "You almost done?"

"Yeah." She muttered, "Just, uh, just give me a sec…."

He finished packing their tactical bag and slung it over his shoulder. "You wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

"Not really."

"Last chance before I pack up my H.R. hat and we go into the field." He called out through the apartment.

"I'm fine." She grumbled as she hit print and caught the financial report she had compiled as it shot out of the printer he had wedged between a stack of Robin Masters novels and a ceramic anchor.

Billy walked into the kitchen, "I was always told that when a woman says she's 'fine', it usually means she's about to kill someone. And considering your particular skill set, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended the day with a body rolled up in a rug. So let me ask, is it me or McGarrett?"

"McGarrett."

"Uh huh." He slid into the chair across from her, "Trouble in paradise?"

Her eyes continued scanning the financial report for any anomalies as she nonchalantly mumbled, "He asked me to move in."

Billy thought for a moment, "Forgive me, but I would assume that's a good thing." He chuckled.

"It is."

"You don't sound happy about it."

"I'm thrilled." Her voice sounded anything but.

"Coulda fooled me." He handed her a box.

She looked up from the report and took it in her hands, "What's this?"

"Open it."

Catherine gave him a wary look, but shimmied the lid off the box. "You got me a gun?" Her stoic expression turned into a smile, "You got me a Sig."

Billy grinned, "Consider it your signing bonus. And I know, you have your own, but, uh, I figured a, uh, back-up never hurts."

"A very expensive back-up." Catherine whispered as she smoothed her hand over the inky gunmetal. It was the same gun Steve carried and she knew that his cost a pretty penny. Billy had splurged and bought her a gun that neared a thousand dollars. "Billy, I can't-"

"It's already registered in your name, so if you don't accept it, you're gonna give me one hell of a headache trying to straighten the ownership out." He stood up and placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, "I just want you to know how vital you are to this team. And I appreciate you coming early today so we can get out on time." He waited a second before adding on, "And how much I appreciate you."

Catherine beamed, "Well, in that case…" She snapped the magazine into the gun and tucked it securely into her belt. "I guess I might as well take her for a spin."

Billy grabbed their gear and followed her out the door, "Well, I'm glad you're happy now. Not so sure that 'trigger happy' is a good kind of happy, but I'll, uh, I'll take it."

"You know, if we get this job wrapped at a reasonable hour, we're gonna have to hit the range so I can put some lead through her." Catherine said as they loaded the van.

"Gun range and sushi after?"

Catherine groaned in delight, "You're speaking my language, Billy Harrington."


"This sucks." Billy grumbled. Twelve very long hours tailing John Cutler all over O'ahu just to find themselves parked outside of a rental cabin.

Catherine stretched her arms, "Mrs. Cutler's check is gonna spend the same way everyone else's does. And at least we haven't had to be standing outside of restaurants and offices all day waiting for everything and nothing to happen."

Billy crawled up from the back of the van where he had been setting up the audio recorders. "Catherine Rollins, eternal optimist."

She laughed, "Hell no. You know I'm not all sunshine and rainbows."

"You talked to McGarrett today?"

Catherine shook her head, "We, uh, we don't talk much when he's on a case." Except Steve wasn't on a case.

"Makes sense." They sat in silence, watching the cabin until Billy piped up again. "You gonna move in with him?"

She twisted the silver band she wore on her right hand. "I guess."

Billy laughed, "You've gotta be shitting me, Rollins. Are you seriously playing hard to get with him? You've been in love with him since you and I met at least. Probably longer."

"Yeah." She quietly agreed.

They watched in silence as a dark sedan pulled into the driveway and a woman got out and let herself into the cabin. "Who are you?" Billy mumbled as he strained forward and snapped a few photos of the woman entering the house. "Looks like Mrs. Cutler was right. Her husband's stepping out on her."

Catherine shook her head, "I don't understand people who cheat. If you wanna be with someone else, just leave and be with someone else. Clean break. The whole one foot in, one foot out is what really ruins everything." She slid into the back of the van and began recording evidence of John Cutler's affair.

An hour passed as they sat in silence and watched the cabin. "So what's your hang up?"

"Excuse me?"

"Moving in with McGarrett." Billy clarified. "You, uh, you said you 'guess' you'll move in with him." He shrugged, "Forgive me, but you don't exactly seem, uh, enthused."

Catherine shook her head, "We just had a disagreement last night is all. It'll be fine."

"Don't let him forget how lucky he is to be with you." Billy placed his hand on top of hers and brushed across her knuckles with his thumb. His low voice was full of gravel and sex. "Because I know at least one guy who wouldn't take you for granted."

She stopped breathing but didn't make any attempt to move his hand off of hers. Her pulse somehow died and raced at the same time. Catherine's eyes locked with his. "I just- Oh my god." Her mouth gaped open.

Billy broke away from staring at her and followed her line of sight, "Oh my god." He agreed with her stunned reaction. "That is John Cutler's ass plastered against that window."

Catherine giggled, "His pasty, white ass." She tugged her hand out from under his to cover her mouth as she laughed, "Oh my god. They're not even gonna close the curtains."

They broke into a fit of laughter, collapsing on each other until they couldn't breathe. "I'm a fucking Navy SEAL, why is this so funny?!" He cowled.

She dabbed tears away from the corners of her eyes as she tried to compose herself, "I needed that. Thank you, naked John Cutler. I haven't laughed like that in a long time."

Billy's hand cupped her jaw as they righted themselves. His longing look was heartbreaking, "That's a damn shame. I love your laugh." He said without hesitation.

"Billy, you're crossing a line." She said quietly.

"Then why are you still so close?" His thumb stroked her cheek. "Catherine, tell me this doesn't feel right to you." He waited for her to move away, but she didn't. "Are you really happy with him? Billy's mouth moved closer to hers as he leaned across the space between the seats. "Because it seems to me like he's a two steps forward, one step back kind of guy." His thumb ghosted over the pout of her lower lip as his nose bumped against hers. "I know exactly what I want in life and I'm not scared to go after it."

Catherine's lips were just a breath away from his. Did she want this? Want him? Billy had always been there for her. He had been the one to pick up the pieces when Steve had walked out on her in Kabul. He was the one who had made a clear move and made his intentions known in Coronado. He was the one who held her hand in Amsterdam and made her feel fearless. Billy never played games. And Steve? He was the one who had been chasing her for the better part of a decade. He was the one who had promised to always have her back. He was the one who held her in her tiny, one bedroom apartment as she fought off the demons of deployments and combat. Did she love Steve or had she just convinced herself she loved him because she loved the chase?

It was the concept of flipism. When you flip a coin to make a decision, as it spins in the air, you suddenly know which side you want it to land on.

"You should go check audio." Catherine whispered as she sat back in her seat.


"And I've lost visual again." Catherine groaned, finally breaking the silence.

"Well, luckily, audio's alive and well." Billy was rather unamused with being banished to the back of the van.

"I don't know, Billy. I don't think Sandra Cutler's gonna need this much evidence of her husband's infidelity. You know, a simple still photo of those two kissing would probably be enough to convince her."

"Hey, she paid us to get the truth; that's exactly what we're doing. What she does with it is her business." He muttered

"How long have we been sitting here, anyway?"

"Three very long... hours." Billy invited himself back into the driver's seat. He didn't feel bad in the slightest for making his move. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. He knew, however, that Catherine felt guilty. She hadn't done anything wrong, but he could see the temptation written all over her face.

"My butt is totally numb."

"Well, what about me? I drank four bottles of coconut water."

"Well, I warned you. Dehydration is your friend on a stakeout. You know, you can use one of the empties in the back if you really can't hold it. It's nothing I haven't seen before, so…" Catherine immediately regretted bringing up the… things… she had seen before. Because frankly, it was memorable.

"I am a trained SEAL, Rollins. I think I can hold it." He smirked, thinking back to their time sneaking around on base in Kabul. "Besides, it looks like they're finishing up."

Thank God. Catherine let out a sigh of relief. "Good, 'cause I want to go home and take a shower. Maybe bleach my brain to rid myself of the image of naked John Cutler and his girlfriend." And to scrub off the guilt that was stuck to her like glue. She needed to be anywhere other than stuck in a van with Billy Harrington.

He leaned back in the driver's seat and asked,"Hey, you're not gonna quit on me, are you?"

"What? Where did that come from?" Although, it was a reasonable question considering at some point she was either going to have to invest in a chastity belt or duct tape Billy's very capable hands behind his back.

"It's just, when I offered you this job, I promised you an exciting post-Navy life. World travel... Intelligence gathering…."

"Last week, we protected a foreign national." She countered.

"Yeah, and this week, you're a Peeping Tom."

"I'm gonna think of it as practicing my surveillance skills." She took one last look through her binoculars as John Cutler's mistress made her exit and declared, "That's a wrap, folks."

Billy watched the woman slip into her car and disappear down the driveway, "We'll just hang out here a few more minutes for him to leave. And then we'll head out. Before I drop you off, you want to hit the Wailana for some pancakes?"

Catherine hesitated, but agreed. "Sounds good." Maybe some carbs and caffeine would get their heads on straight enough to talk about professional boundaries.

"What is that about?" Billy picked up the binoculars and watched as another car pulled in front of the cabin.

"Billy, he's got a gun." Catherine barked. Billy handed her a pistol signaled for her to flank the house while he cut around the other side.

"What did you forget?" John Cutler's voice as he opened the door was barely audible over the rain.

Shots fired.

"Drop your weapon!" Billy commanded.

Then it was all a blur.

"Catherine!"

"I'm all right. Billy!"

"It's okay."

"Let me see. Hang in there."

"Stay with me."

"You're not gonna die today! You hear me? You hear me?"

Catherine didn't remember dragging Billy's body into the van. She didn't remember redlining it all the way to the hospital. She didn't remember shouting his blood type as the nurses carted him into the emergency department. She didn't remember passing out. Everything was fading. She was numb.


The incessant beeping was getting on her last nerve, but she couldn't get it to go away. Her body felt like it weighed an easy ton. Her throat felt like she had swallowed a gallon of sand. Had she been hit by a bus? It felt like it.

The layers of sheets and blankets did nothing to keep the chill away. She felt it in her bones. Catherine startled as her eyes blinked open of their own accord. Her pulse jumped as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. A searing pain shot through her shoulder and convinced her not to sit up.

"Hey." Steve's hoarse whisper caught her attention. He placed his hand on top of hers as a tentative smile flickered at the corner of his mouth. Relief washed over him in a crushing wave, "Hey."

She tried to respond but the sand in her throat was too much. Her eyes darted around the room as her vision focused, "Mm. Where am I?" She asked weakly.

"You're in the hospital." When she tried to sit up, the fire in her shoulder returned and made her grimace. "Just, just take it easy, okay?" He took a deep breath and watched as her eyes slowly opened and shut. The painkillers were still in her system. She was groggy at best, but he wasn't going to waste any time, "Do you remember what happened, Catherine? You and Billy were on a stakeout."

"Mm." She nodded. "Mm, yeah. We were. We, um…." She turned her head to try and ease the throbbing headache, "We got what we needed and, uh, we started breaking down the equipment." Her mind began to fill with static again. "And then… and then I saw…" The memories started to come back. The woman leaving. The shooter. Then red. The blood. So much blood. "Oh, God. Billy-" She took a deep breath, "Is he alright?" Steve was too gutted to respond. She could tell. That look of devastation. She had only seen it a few times before. "Steve?"

"He's gone." Steve pursed his lips as he tried his best to treat this like any other death notification. But he couldn't. It was Catherine. And damn it, it was Billy. "He, um. He coded on the table and they couldn't revive him." He barely held it together as her lip began to tremble, "I'm so sorry, Catherine."

She shook her head, "But…" There was no reasoning. No explanation. Billy Harrington was dead. Tears streamed down her face as her walls crumbled. She ignored the scream of her arm as she rolled away from Steve. How could she possibly look at him? She had been a milimeter away from being unfaithful to Steve and now Billy was dead. Catherine sobbed as guilt and blame strangled her.

Steve jumped up from his seat beside the bed and kissed her head. "I'm so sorry." He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed the corner of her eye where tears were spilling out. "I'm so sorry, Cath." Tremors shook through her body. She buried her face in the hospital pillow. Steve laid behind her and gently pulled her against his chest, "Hey, I'm right here. Okay? I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He ran his fingers down through her hair and skimmed the exposed skin that peeked through the hospital gown, "Look, I, uh, I know we didn't end things on the best note last night, but I…." He rested his head on top of hers, "God, I'm so glad you're okay. I… I don't know what I would've done if you were gone." His statement of relief did nothing to calm her down. It only fed the guilt. She sobbed and began to hyperventilate. "Catherine, you gotta take a deep breath, okay? Slow. Real slow. You lost a lot of blood too. Take a deep breath." She did her best to comply as she curled deeper into his arms. "Good girl." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Just rest. Okay?" Steve sat up in the bed and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.

Catherine slept, but she didn't rest. Her drug-induced slumber was fraught with memories of Billy. Of his hand on hers. Of her lip brushing against his. Of his declaration of intent. The feeling of his body on top of hers as they laughed. The way he held her cheek and stared at her as if she was the most precious thing in the universe. The last memory he had was her choosing someone else. Even in her sleep, Catherine didn't know if she'd ever be able to forgive herself for that.


Shelby ran into Steve's office and bounced as she begged with gimme fingers and outstretched arms to be picked up by her daddy. "Hey, pretty girl!" Steve grinned as he scooped her up and plopped her in his lap. He looked up and saw Catherine standing in his doorway. "This is a surprise."

Catherine adjusted Will in her arm and held up a phone, "Mel left her phone at the restaurant. Figured I'd bring it by after I picked up the kids from Grace."

"How was lunch?"

"Good. Yeah, just catching up. It's been a while since we've seen each other." She bit back a laugh, "It was nice to sit through a meal where I didn't have to feed a child."

Steve chuckled, "I bet."

Catherine looked down the hall, "Do you mind if I leave the kids in her for a sec while I run it down to her office?"


Mel glanced at her watch. If her plan was working the way she thought it would, Catherine would be coming down the hall in three… two… Aha! She smirked with satisfaction as she caught a glimpse of her pulling the door to Steve's office and turning to head down the hallway. That's odd... Mel cocked her head as Catherine stalled and read a plaque on the memorial wall. Catherine pressed her palm against it and shut her eyes. Mel knew that look. It was textbook guilt. Survivor's guilt, if she had to guess.

"Rollins." She called out as she walked down the hallway towards Catherine.

Catherine immediately retracted her hand and swiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Hey!" She put on a cheery disposition and held Mel's phone out to her, "You left it on the table at the restaurant."

Melissa nodded and took her phone, "Thanks." She looked at the plaque Catherine had been paralyzed by, "Who is he?"

She thought for a moment. How the hell was she supposed to describe Billy Harrington? He had been so much to her. Catherine shook her head as she blinked back tears, "He saved me."

Mel stood in silent solidarity for a minute before she nodded her head in the direction of her office and said, "Wanna talk about it?"


AUTHOR'S NOTE

In the words of Mel, "How does that make you feel?"

Leave your reactions in the reviews!

And thus we end the tragically beautiful love affair of Billy and Catherine. Don't worry. There's still more of their story left to be unveiled!

XO,

-Mags-