Adrian found Ivan in a lonely corner of the royal library. He was reading an old book with apparent care. Adrian had always avoided the royal library. It was too full of dusty things the families wanted to keep but not have in their homes. Paintings of ancestors lined the walls along with books that were probably just as old. Only scholars went there, or people looking to hide.

Adrian leaned against the large oak desk beside the one where Ivan sat. "You're difficult to find."

Ivan didn't look up. "I was hoping not to be found."

"That's fair. I heard that you met with your lawyers again today. Is that all settled?"

"It is for me."

Adrian made a soft sound at the back of his throat. He moved a hand to where his cigarettes were, then remembered that he was in a library where smoking was frowned upon. "Is it really that bad here?"

Ivan gently laid a loose sheet of paper between the pages of the book he was reading before he looked up.

"My parents and sister hover between overprotective and disturbed by my presence. They don't know what to do with me. They're happy I'm alive, and they're upset about it. I was a monster, and they know that far too well. But the money I had before dying, oh they care about that. It's over now, thankfully. Brandon's family keeps the inheritance from my will. Dimitri keeps his share of what was given to him in my will. Tasha and Christian returned their inheritance. The lawyers made sure all my assets as a Strigoi are in fact mine. It's absurd how much I own. Most of it is being liquidated. I want to give it to the victims… but I have no idea where to find them. They're nameless and often faceless flashes of memory." Ivan considered Adrian. "Is that what you wanted to know?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay, and ask if you wanted to get dinner. What do you do up here?"

"I'm researching."

"Researching?"

Ivan pointed at a painting across the hallway. It took a moment for Adrian to track which picture Ivan was indicating. The wall had several paintings close together, but one stood out to Adrian. The girl in it was pretty, blue eyed, and wearing a long dress which was simple but elegant and very old-fashioned. Her blonde hair was curled into ringlets.

Adrian turned back to Ivan. "Who's that?"

The expression which crossed Ivan's face was strange and unpleasant, though fleeting. "My distant cousin, and the monster who trained me as a Strigoi — Sofia Zeklos."

Turning again to the painting, Adrian felt a sinking sense of horror. "Why are you researching her?"

Ivan's response was soft and sad. "Because once upon a time, she was just a girl." He turned the book he had been reading over in his hands, and opened it to show Adrian that it was hand written inside.

"Her journals survived the fire she set when she killed her family. They're all here in this library, along with other letters, journals, and documents. I started reading the journals here after I learned about the changes at Court that happened over the summer. I wanted to know more about our hidden past."

"Ah."

Tilting his head to look at Sofia's painting, Ivan laid the journal back on the desk and softly tapped his fingers against the cover. "I'm trying to figure out who I am. I still don't know, but studying her helps me figure some things out. Our interests stay so similar as Strigoi, but there is always something off. I loved business and acquiring wealth before and after being turned. I find it less interesting now, but I find many things less interesting now. What I truly loved was helping others, and that isn't something a Strigoi can do."

"Didn't you help Rose?"

"By killing her first?" Ivan scoffed. But he thought for a moment, remembering that there were many times when he had protected Rose. The method had been twisted, but wasn't that his point? And there had been Dahlia, who he had turned at Sofia's request, but he had defended her as well. Ivan shook his head, not wanting to think about the things he had seen and done.

"Maybe you're right. I did say that we were similar, just not the same. I could see it in Rose, and now I can see that about Sofia too. She was a brilliant girl. If she had been born today, I think she would have insisted on being sent to an Ivy League university, or even a better one somewhere in the world. She spoke several languages, played more than one instrument, and was very well read. She wrote essays in these journals about the philosophers her tutors made her read." Ivan's fingers clenched into a fist. "She didn't deserve what happened to her."

Adrian was silent.

"She can't be restored. It's been too long. But I want her to be given rest."

"You're still trying to help people," Adrian said thoughtfully. "Rose said weeks ago that someone should kill Sofia because she's dangerous. You want someone to kill her because it would give rest to her soul."

"It's the least I can do for the Sofia who died so long ago. And the least I can do to protect people from her in the future."

They were quiet for a few minutes before Adrian broke the silence. "Do you want to get dinner? That's why I came to find you in the first place."

Ivan cracked a smile. "Yeah, we can get dinner."


Lissa yawned as she walked to the garden where Ivan was waiting for her. The sun was just starting to rise. She waved, announcing herself before taking a seat beside him on the bench. They faced the sunrise, watching the sky lighten into pale blue and lavender with pink and orange on the clouds.

"Hey," Ivan said. "Thank you for coming."

Lissa bumped her shoulder against his. "You don't have to thank me. I'd see you whenever you want. I've just been giving you space."

Ivan looked at her with gentle affection. "You're sweet."

A smile touched her lips. "Thanks."

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I like the sun. It reminds me that I'm alive. And I'm finally becoming okay with being alive."

Lissa pulled her jacket close and yawned again. "I'm glad."

"The guardians have talked to me a lot over the past few weeks. They tell me that I'm helping. They tell me that I'm useful. They told me that the others I turned are dead."

Lissa flinched. She shifted so that she could look at Ivan. He was staring into the distance, weariness etched onto his face. "Others?"

"I turned seven people. Rose was the last. Before her were six others, five of whom are now dead, again. I don't know how to feel about it. I killed them. I turned them. Now the guardians killed them again. Why am I here while they are not?"

Lissa swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You don't have to answer that," he said softly. "I'm thinking out loud." Ivan ran his long fingers along the iron armrest of the bench. "How have you been?"

"I'm fine. I'm trying to figure out what's next for me, too." She sighed. "What I really want to do is rest."

"I'm sorry. I know it's late."

"I didn't mean like that." She laughed softly. "This whole year has been one huge life-changing event after another. I want a break. I'm still worried about you and Rose." She paused thoughtfully. "And Tasha, too."

He regarded her warmly. "I'll be okay one day. So will Rose. I talked to them yesterday and they seemed to be doing well. And Tasha … she needs time."

"Christian said she went back to Minneapolis, alone."

His lips quirked into a wry expression. "Sounds like her."

"I wish I could heal that."

"It's not your job to fix every broken thing. We loved each other until I was turned. I'm not surprised by her reaction. It doesn't change how I feel about her or Christian. They're my family."

Lissa took his hand in hers and squeezed. "I know. Sometimes I feel like I'm still trying to make up for the lives I couldn't save."

"When?"

Her voice grew very quiet. "At school, during the attack and after. What if I could have saved more? So many died."

"Can you tell me more about that night? I know the reports that are public, but my own memories are … confused at best."

Lissa's lips pressed together in a thin line. Then she told him, briefly, about everything that had happened in the school the night of the attack and the next day. "When we were healing the injured, I kept wondering where you were." Her voice grew quiet and thick with tears. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be as strong with spirit as I am now. And we wouldn't have Sonya or be good friends with Adrian. Losing you was the hardest thing I had ever been through … until Rose."

"And I took her from you."

"It could have been worse, and I think it was easier with Rose in some ways. We already knew about restoring Strigoi by that time. All we needed to know was how. When you were turned, we thought you were lost forever."

"I forget sometimes that this year was hell on all of you, too."

"I think you're allowed some self-focus after everything you've been through."

"Every day, there are things that remind me. Even beyond memories that I can't escape and the comments people make or refrain from saying. I can't stand the feeders here. I look at them and see thralls who are no better than the victims of Strigoi."

Lissa started in shock. "Ivan—"

"What?" he scoffed. "Do you really think they're any better off? Most of the feeders here are so out of their minds they couldn't tell you what day of the week it is. And some have family who hate the Moroi because our secrets haven't been well kept."

Ivan gave Lissa a very significant look. She flinched at the memory of how Rose had been taken.

"At least the ones at Abe's house are willing and in their right minds." He paused again then gave a weary sigh. "I hate living here."

"Where would you rather live?"

"I don't know. I can't leave yet, not until the guardians are done using all the information I gave them."

"And when that's done?"

Ivan stood and looked down at Lissa with grim hope. "I'll find a way to make use of my experiences and spirit that can help others. You and Adrian and the others gave me a new life. I need to do something with it."

Lissa stood and gave him a hug. "I think you'll figure it out."

"At least one of us believes that." He stepped away from her, thanked her again for coming, and walked away.


Dimitri gave Rose's hand a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be fine."

She was looking in trepidation at the Dragomir's house. It had taken six weeks since her restoration for Rose to return to Court. They hadn't even checked in to guest housing yet, because Rose insisted that she needed to do this first. Except, instead of going inside, Rose was staring at the house.

"What if they hate me?"

Dimitri let go of her hand so that he could wrap an arm around her waist and pull her close. He kissed the top of her head before responding. He tried not to make his reassurances sound rote. He knew that she was still adjusting to life again, and that she didn't believe it was possible for people to forgive her.

"They love you and miss you."

Rose nodded in a way that meant she was trying to convince herself that he was telling the truth. "Right," she agreed shakily.

They walked to the front door and entered the mansion. It was quiet, though some sound seemed to carry from the back of the house where the kitchen was. They walked down the hallway toward the sound of a woman singing along to music, mixed with the sound of a baby babbling.

The sight that greeted them at the kitchen was Katrina making something on the stove while she sang. Violet was to the side in a playpen, holding onto the side and making sounds at her mother. Kat glanced at them, smiled, and returned to her cooking.

"Can you pick her up? She's going to start fussing, and lunch isn't finished."

The tension seemed to leave Rose as she stared at Katrina's back. Dimitri went over and scooped up Violet. The baby accepted his attention, though she still fussed and looked toward Katrina.

"Where is everyone?" Rose asked.

Kat looked at them again, smiling. "Staff are off today. Liss said that you were finally coming up, so Eric and Rhea wanted to give time to you. But, Queen Tatiana wanted to talk to the family, so Eric, Rhea, Andre, and Liss are over at the palace. I think Christian is visiting his aunt, and the other guardians are somewhere around Court."

Pausing in her rundown, Kat walked over to them. She brushed her fingers against Violet's cheek, grinning at her daughter. Then she looked at Rose. "I'm glad to see you, Rose. I was wondering when you'd finally show up."

"You're so normal about all this."

Kat pressed her lips together in a thin line before responding in a serious tone. "I was there when you were restored. I fought you, remember? But, it's been over a month. The novelty of your restoration wore off a while ago. We were just waiting to see when you would stop being a coward and come home."

"I'm here now."

"Yes, you are," Kat agreed. She gave Rose a quick hug, which Rose met stiffly, before returning to the stove. "Everyone misses you. Not just the family, but other friends you have here among the guardians."

Rose bit her lip briefly and nodded, though Katrina's back was turned. "Why did the Queen need to see everyone now?"

"Don't you know?" Kat turned to her for a moment, confused. "Rumors have been going around for months, even last spring already, that Eric was the one most favored for the throne. Well, a lot of us think that's what's finally going to happen. Lissa and Adrian didn't tell you?"

It took a few moments for Rose's shock to subside. She did vaguely remember talk about Eric's potential to become the next king, but it was so long ago and far away that it seemed like a fading dream. "No, they must not have thought about it. Is it really a certain thing now?"

Katrina laughed as she stirred and added ingredients to a pot on the stove. "Certain? No, not really. However, the entire family has become quite the center of attention over the past several months. Between the history research, pushes for reforms in favor of Moroi magic and dhampir freedoms, plus Lissa restoring you, the family is far more celebrity than ever before. Oh, and Andre has this whole extra level of notoriety for having escaped imminent peril."

Though her words were spoken casually, Rose flinched. Dimitri brushed a hand affectionately across Rose's lower back to reassure her. Rose appreciated the gesture, relaxing a little at his touch. Violet took that moment to squirm toward Rose, obviously recognizing her. Rose resisted at first, but between the baby's insistence and Dimitri's encouragement, Rose found herself holding Violet.

Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew Violet and had held her countless times, and she had loved holding the little girl, but she didn't know how to feel this time. There was an overwhelming sense of grief for the children she had been responsible for killing. Violet looked up at her with her wide blue eyes, and Rose smiled at the little girl, even as a few tears fell. "You've gotten so big."

Dimitri wrapped an arm around Rose's waist, supporting her. "I think she missed you," he said.

"Of course she did," Katrina said softly, looking at them again, "Everyone did."

They were in similar positions, though Dimitri was no longer holding Rose, ten minutes later when the Dragomirs returned. Katrina turned off the stove where she had been making homemade soup, just as they arrived.

"That smells wonderful," Andre's voice echoed down the hall to them.

Rose froze, holding Violet like a shield in front of her as she turned. She could just make out Lissa's voice saying something that resembled "wait", but Andre was standing in the archway moments later. He went still at the sight of Rose, eyes a bit wide.

"Rose is here," Lissa said belatedly from behind Andre. Eric and Rhea were just behind their daughter.

For a few moments they all stood still, watching one another. But it was Violet who squirmed and babbled for her father, breaking the stillness of the moment. Scarcely breathing, Rose took a step forward, so painfully aware of everything in the moment. The comforting warmth of Violet, and the child's desire to go to Andre. And Andre's unmoving stillness as he stood there, watching Rose with wide eyes. He barely seemed aware of his daughter.

"I think she wants you," Rose said when they were only a foot apart.

Andre swallowed, nodded, and held out his arms. Their hands brushed one another's as Violet was passed into his arms. He kissed Violet on the top of her head, breathing in her scent, but not breaking his eye contact with Rose.

Rose took a step to the side, and was soon holding Lissa's hand. They squeezed hands, giving each other strength and support.

"You forgot to tell me when you got here," Lissa said quietly.

"I apologize," Dimitri said. "We were hoping to find everyone home when we arrived, but Katrina told us that you were delayed with the Queen. Then we forgot to let you know."

Eric stepped into the kitchen with Rhea, taking a few steps past where their children and Rose stood. His tone was calm and level, but there was a lot of emotion in his voice. "I understand. We would have been here if not for her summons. It's good to have you home, Rose."

Breaking eye contact with Andre, Rose looked at Eric and gave him a watery smile. "I'm glad to be back."

Rhea moved in front of Rose, gently laying her hands on Rose's shoulders as if afraid that the dhampir girl wasn't really there. Then she pulled Rose close, holding her tight, as if she would never let go. "Rose. Rose." Rhea's voice was a shaky murmur. She cried as she hugged Rose. And Rose cried too, letting go of a wrenching sob against Rhea's shoulder.

Eric hugged Rose next, and he, too, cried as he held her.

Rose had been another daughter to Eric and Rhea. For Rose, they had been closer than her own parents. And while she had needed the time since her restoration with her own parents, and with Dimitri, she hadn't realized how much she needed this reunion with the Dragomirs as well.

When the hugs finally ended, Rose looked at the last member of the Dragomir family with whom she had to reconnect. Andre was standing beside the kitchen island, watching. His face was tear-streaked. Somewhere in the hugging and crying, Katrina and Violet had left the kitchen.

Wiping at her own tears, Rose faced Andre. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Andre crossed to her slowly, then he wrapped her in a tight hug. "It's over now. You're home."

"But David? And Lauren? And the others?" She mumbled their names against his chest between sobs.

"They'll talk to you soon. It will all be okay. It's all forgiven."


When everyone's emotions calmed, they ate together. They all praised the soup Katrina had made, and Katrina thanked Rhea for teaching her how to make it. They kept conversation light and easy. Katrina mentioned that she and Mia would be moving in together at Court to an apartment building which had recently been completed. Lissa mentioned the schools that she was looking into for college the next year, and noted that she was looking for ones close to Court. Eventually, Rose asked about why they had been talking to the Queen.

Eric, Rhea, Andre, and Lissa all wore expressions of nervous anticipation. "Tatiana officially told me that she wants me to be the next King. There will be an announcement tomorrow," Eric said. "I'm still uncertain that I'm the best candidate, and there can be a longer testing process if the other royal families want to run against me. Plus, I will still need to go through a few archaic rituals to determine if I meet the right criteria for the position."

"You can do it," Rose said with a grin. "Congratulations. I think you'll be an amazing king."

Dimitri and Katrina also gave their congratulations to Eric.

"The Queen also made a request," Eric said thoughtfully. He looked at Dimitri. "We mentioned that you were returning to Court today, and Tatiana asked about you."

"Oh?" Dimitri's tone and expression were strikingly neutral.

"She said that you were welcome to visit her at any time," Eric continued. "She seems interested in your future and welfare."

Dimitri snorted in disinterest. "She's known that I'm her great-nephew for months and hasn't tried talking to me about it once. She hasn't even said anything to Adrian, but she says it to you?"

"I don't think she knows how to approach the matter," Rhea said diplomatically. "These months have been unusual and trying for all of us, and I think she was giving you time before bringing it up herself."

"Perhaps," Dimitri replied.

"Are you going to return to guardian duties?" Katrina asked, looking at Dimitri.

Dimitri pressed his lips together in a thin line. It took him several long moments to form a response. "I don't know. My priority, first and foremost, is to Rose." He took her hand in his and squeezed. "I have enough money to live comfortably if I resign." He had more than enough money to live on for the rest of his life.

"You won't be happy doing nothing," Rose said. "And being a guardian matters to you."

Dimitri met Rose's eyes and spoke only to her. "Protecting people matters to me. Being honorable matters to me. I can find something that meets those criteria if I choose to resign from the guardians. For the moment, I'm still on leave."

Soon they let the matter pass and talked of other things. By the end of the meal, Eric and Rhea had insisted that Rose and Dimitri spend their time at Court living with them in Rose's old room, and they had accepted. Rose began to feel more at ease with the Dragomirs, as if nothing had changed at all in their relationship with her. There were still other conversations to be had and people to meet again, which Rose knew would put her through the emotional wringer again.


Notes:

Hello again! Again, I genuinely hope that you're all doing well and are safe, healthy, and able to get what you need during this time.

I'm still overworked, and writing is still slow, but there has been progress. Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments. And I will hopefully have the next chapter done sometime soonish. So close to the end! 50 done 3-4 to go :D