Chapter 50: I don't want to be

Spencer's POV

We are all watching a movie in Hanna's living room since we decided to put any actions or discussions about -A on the ice. I can feel that Emily keeps glancing my way. She knows me too well so she knows I can't stop myself from forming a plan. I know that Hanna and Aria are too emotionally involved, and that Emily is too sweet, so I feel like all the pressure is on my shoulders to find a way to bring -A down. I know the girls will help, but I just feel like if I don't take the lead, nothing will happen, and we'll be haunted forever… If we are not murdered before.

Emily looks my way again and I smile lightly at her. She winks before she gets up and walks towards the kitchen. I follow her with my eyes, wondering if I should go with her. I debate with myself a little bit, but it doesn't take long for my heart to overpower my head and follow Emily to the kitchen. When I get there, I don't see my girlfriend, but the side door is ajar. I walk out and close the door behind me. Emily is already sitting comfortably in a chair.

"What are you doing, silly?" I ask her sweetly as I smile.

"Don't you remember?" Emily asks me as she moves over to make place on the chair for me too.

"Remember what?" I question as I take place next to her in the chair.

"This is where everything kinda started for you and I." She says, looking at me expectantly.

"That's right! Not so long ago you came out here while we were watching a movie to break up with Samara. We talked and during that night we kissed for the first time." I recall.

"I know it hasn't been long, but I still feel like we've always been together."

"I know what you mean. I feel it too." I assure her as I wrap my arms around her.

"I'm so happy that despite everything, we managed to find a way to each other. I think I would have already gone mad if it weren't for you." Emily confesses.

I hug her closer to me and kiss her on the top of the head.

"It means the world to me that we're together." I tell her honestly as I look up at the sky.

"You do know that it's not all up to you?" Emily asks me as she stares at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Bringing -A down. It's not all on your shoulders." She clarifies.

"Except that it kinda is, Em."

"Because you make it so. Hanna just proved that trying to do it alone is not working. Don't make the same mistake."

"You just don't get it, Em…"

"No! You don't get it!" Emily replies while raising her voice. "I hate that you put all the pressure on yourself! And you and your hothead are gonna get in trouble. I just know it!"

My girlfriend gets up and starts pacing in front of where I'm sitting. I sigh and look down. I'm not sure what to answer. I wish I could tell her that I'm not going to get into trouble, but I could never promise her that. I would do anything to protect her. Even risk my own life. Emily kneels in front of me and puts her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at her.

"I love that big brain of yours. I really do. And I know that it is our best weapon against A. I know that too. But I also know that you need to let us in. You need to work with us." Emily says more sweetly this time.

"I get that, honey. I just… I'm afraid that I'm the one who's going to do whatever it takes to end this once and for all. Hanna and Aria seem too shaky right now to be of any help. And I don't want you to have to do anything that could hunt you forever. Not you. Not my sweet Emily."

"That's really sensitive of you, Spence. But it's not your call to make. I wish there was an easy way to get rid of -A, but there isn't and I made peace with that. I don't want you to do it either, but whatever it takes, we'll face it as a group."

I stare into her eyes, unable to say anything. I never thought that I could find someone with whom I could be completely open like I was just now. I take her hands and force her to stand up. I pull her towards me and she straddles my thighs as she sits on my lap. She makes the first move for our lips to meet. I wrap my arms around her body and hug her tighter. She adds more pressure on my lips with hers and I can actually feel just how much she loves me. I have no idea what's going to happen next, but for once I don't feel alone. I'm not alone.


Hi people! It took me quite a while to write this chapter because I realised that this story is over. My heart is just not in it anymore. I'll write one more chapter just to see where the girls are later on with their lives, but the show's been over for so long now that trying to rewrite who -A could be just seems worthless and not good enough. Thanks for everyone who kept up with this story. I'll see you soon for the last chapter! I hope everyone is well in the circumstances.