Daryl tightened his grip on Rhiannon's waist, moving in closer to her. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, reveling in the closeness the early morning allowed him to indulge in.
She had been quiet since the night before, after their talk, and he couldn't help his anxiety from spiking, from thinking the worst. He knew having a baby was something she wanted, he wanted it too.
Despite the intense fear he felt at the thought of being a father when she had told him she was pregnant back at the prison, he couldn't help but think of how great it could be. He pictured Rhiannon holding a little girl in her arms, her hair a mess of wild curls, big brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles across her nose, just like her mother.
His heart felt like it would explode, just thinking about it.
But he couldn't stop the thought of Lori from creeping in, painting every good thought with horror. Picturing Rhiannon laying dead and bloody on an operation table erased every desire to bring a child into the world.
He couldn't take the risk. He couldn't handle losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He let out a heavy sigh, ignoring the longing within him and tightened his grip on his wife. He kissed her exposed skin, trailing light kisses from her shoulder up her neck and to her jaw.
Rhiannon moaned softly, stirring from her sleep. Daryl smiled, finding the sleepy and confused look in her eyes just about the most endearing thing he'd ever seen in his life.
"It's too early." She whined, turning on her side to face him and snuggled into him, her head laying on his chest.
"It's not. Everyone is already up." He teased and she just moaned tiredly again in response. "You gettin' up or not?"
"I think I need a little convincing."
Daryl smiled, feeling a thousand times lighter than he had just minutes before as he had let his mind wander. He was relieved she was still acting like her usual, teasing self, that their conversation the night before hadn't ruined what they had.
"Think I can do that." He rasped, moving to hover over her.
The sight of her beneath him, that mischievous smirk on her face, that glint in her eyes, rendered him speechless. She never failed to get his pulse racing in the best way possible.
He leaned down, crashing his lips to hers fiercely. Rhiannon moaned against him, her arms snaking around him, her hands gently trailing up and down the expanse of his muscular back, causing a muffled groan to escape him.
They kissed passionately, lazily, like they had no care in the world. Daryl let his hands wander greedily, holding tightly to her hips before trailing upwards, delightfully taking in every inch of her bare skin as he could.
Their lips suddenly parted as Daryl's hands found their way under her shirt, that was actually his, and squeezed her breast, pinching her nipple between his fingers, causing her to let out a ragged moan.
Daryl's eager mouth found her neck, beginning to suck and bite on that spot he knew she loved. Rhiannon let her head fall against the pillow beneath her, her eyes falling closed in bliss as he worked her so easily. She tangled her hand in his messy hair, tugging at his strands and reveling in the deep growl of pleasure it earned her.
"Fuck, darlin', you got no idea what you do to me." He groaned, moving to capture her lips again.
Rhiannon smirked slightly, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth and pulling, making his eyes fall closed as a desperate moan left him.
"I think I do." She whispered, rocking her hips upwards to grind against his, moaning in satisfaction as she felt his hard length throbbing against her wet heat.
Daryl cursed under his breath and kissed her fervently. His hands wandered once again, his right hand slithering down the length of her body.
Rhiannon's hands tightened against his back, her nails digging into his skin as he snuck his hand beneath her panties, his fingers deftly finding her wet core.
He'd only touched her for a second before a knock sounded at their door before, to both of their horror, opening.
"Hey, Rhi, you awake? I had a question- Oh my god!" Maggie's eyes widened and she slapped her hands over her face. "Holy shit, I'm so sorry!" She cried out.
Rhiannon and Daryl were frozen in their position, their wide eyes locked onto Maggie with pure terror. They both looked like deer caught in headlights.
"What's goin' on?" Rick's voice called from the hallway worriedly. He peaked his head in and his worried expression fell to one of embarrassment, a blush blooming on his cheeks at the sight before him.
"Oh god." He whispered and quickly took a step back.
"You should probably get off." Rhiannon hissed through gritted teeth to a stunned Daryl that was still on top of her.
He quickly and clumsily scurried off of her, pulling the blankets up to her chin. Rhiannon narrowed her eyes at him, holding back a laugh, she was still wearing a shirt so there was no danger of exposing anything.
"Oh god, oh god, I'm so sorry." Maggie rambled.
"It's fine." Rhiannon waved her off. "Is there something you need?" She asked, her voice sounding impatient and less pleasant than she had planned to, but with how sexually frustrated she now was, it was pretty much inevitable.
"Uhh, I'll just… it can wait. There's no rush." She smiled awkwardly at the couple, her cheeks still blooming red.
"You can shut the door now." Daryl called out angrily.
"Oh right."
"Hey, you're still goin' with me today though, right?" Rick quickly asked before Maggie shut the door, poking his head into the room once again.
Rhiannon sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair in exasperation.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm goin'. Now get out." Daryl frantically waved him off.
"Right, yeah, ok, good." Rick rambled awkwardly and shut the door behind him. "Have fun." He called out from the other side.
"Jesus christ." Daryl muttered, running his hands over his face.
There were a few seconds of tense silence before Rhiannon burst out laughing, her giggles disrupting the awkward tension that had followed.
"I'm never gonna be able to look at Rick ever again." Daryl groaned, turning on his side to hide his face in the mass of her unruly hair that lay against the pillow. His words only made Rhiannon laugh harder, causing Daryl to raise his head, a scowl painted on his features. "Ain't funny."
"Oh, yeah, it's definitely funny." She countered through her giggles. Daryl couldn't hold up any longer and he let his smile slip, his gaze locked onto her, watching fondly as she laughed in delight.
"That had to have happened some day, right?" She said wistfully and Daryl rolled his eyes again. To be fair, he was actually surprised that hadn't happened a long time ago.
Downstairs, Maggie was telling Carol what had just transpired through her breathless laughs, much to Carol's amusement. Poor Daryl, she thought to herself. She knew he would be horrified.
Despite the amusing story, there was one aspect that caught Carol's attention, that made her curious.
"So what did you need to talk to Rhiannon about?" She asked Maggie. She already had an idea, but she needed to be sure.
Maggie groaned and rubbed a hand against her stomach. "I was up all night throwing up. Morning sickness wasn't exactly in the morning. I just wanted to ask if it was the same for her."
Carol's face creased with concern and a fierce protective feeling rose within her.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Maggie looked up at Carol, taking in her words and it only took barely a second before her face fell in realization.
"Oh shit." She mumbled, bowing her head into her hands. "I'm an idiot."
Carol frowned and reached over. "You're not an idiot. It was just … a lapse in judgement." She reasoned, trying to make the woman feel better while also trying to get across how bad her idea had been.
"Man, thank god they were about to have sex and I didn't get to say anything."
Carol snorted in laughter and shook her head.
"Don't think they feel the same way." She muttered, causing Maggie to crack a smile. "But seriously, you can come to me with any questions. I don't think Rhiannon would be up for that. Not yet, at least."
"I know, it's just… I've been feeling so guilty lately. She keeps telling me she's ok, but I can't help it. I know it's hurting her. But she said she wants to be a part of it, she wants to be there for me and… I dunno, I thought asking her would make her feel included."
Carol sighed heavily. She didn't know what to think. She felt at a loss as to how to respond, how to feel, even. What Maggie was saying made sense, but she didn't know how Rhiannon would react. She just wanted to protect the woman, the both of them, from any more harm and she didn't know how to do that.
Both women tensed slightly, giving each other a warning look to stay quiet and not say anymore as footsteps sounded down the stairs.
Rhiannon stepped into the kitchen, a bright smile on her face when she spotted them.
"Morning."
"Morning. Heard it's been quite an eventful one for you." Carol teased and Rhiannon laughed loudly as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
"I think it's been even more eventful for you." She said pointedly to Maggie who blushed and hid her face with her hands.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it." Rhiannon waved her off. "Honestly, the amount of times I've caught you and Glenn in much worse states, I kinda owed you that as payback."
Maggie laughed, she couldn't deny that in the slightest.
"But don't say anymore about it when Daryl gets down. I practically had to drag him out of bed, he didn't want to show his face ever again."
"I think you had to drag him out of bed for a very different reason." Carol muttered. Rhiannon gaped at the woman, still not used to the teasing that came out of her mouth, even after all these years.
"Ok, that's exactly what not to say."
Before Rhiannon could insist on their good behaviour any longer, Daryl's thumping footsteps came down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, his wary gaze locked on Maggie and Carol, who he knew was told about the antics just by the way she was trying hard not to laugh.
Daryl just scowled at his friend and stepped past her, taking Rhiannon's mug from her hands and swallowing a large gulp.
"Hey, get your own." She scolded slightly and he just smirked at her.
"Can't, I gotta go. Rick's waitin' for me."
"Be careful."
"Always am." He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead affectionately. He took a step back, preparing to leave, but he stopped, his eyes looking down at her intently.
There were a thousand things he wanted to say to her, to assure her, to beg her to tell him that they were ok. The conversation the night before lingered in his mind non-stop the second it became obvious he couldn't use sex to distract himself from it.
It was all he could think of now.
Rhiannon narrowed her gaze at him slightly and the slightest hint that she would figure out what was going on in his mind, had him turning on his heel.
"See you later." He called out to the other women in the kitchen, giving them all a feeble wave as he left the room.
Rhiannon's gaze followed him until the slam of the front door closing signalled his departure. She sighed and let her eyes fall to the floor in defeat.
"What was that about?"
"I think I have an idea, but I'm not too sure."
"Did something happen between you two? He looked worried." Maggie noted.
Rhiannon bit her lip anxiously, her heart beginning to thump powerfully in her chest. She didn't know if she should divulge exactly what she and Daryl had discussed. They were married, it was their business, but it was killing her to keep it in.
She needed advice, she needed guidance, because she was feeling lost and she sure as hell knew that feeling wouldn't be going away with her just stewing about it silently.
"Daryl and I talked last night…"
"...And?" Carol prompted slowly, her brows furrowed with worry.
"He doesn't want to have kids." She blurted out.
Maggie and Carol's eyes widened and they shared a look of disbelief with each other, the revelation being the last thing they were expecting to hear.
"I'm gonna put on more coffee." Carol muttered and roboticaly got out of her seat.
They had a long conversation ahead of them.
The silence in the truck was stifling. And it wasn't because of the bodies piled up in the cab behind them.
Daryl could see Rick shifting in his seat from the corner of his eye and he refused to look over, to acknowledge what wasn't being acknowledged.
"So…" Rick started and Daryl sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Please don't." He muttered, trying to stop Rick before he even started.
"I wasn't gonna say anything." Rick said in defense, though the higher pitch to his voice and the smile he was trying -and failing- to hold back were obvious signs he was lying. "I'm just happy things are going well for you two."
"Oh god, stop." Daryl groaned, hitting his head back on the headrest in annoyance.
"Hey, it's not a bad thing. You should feel lucky, a lot of guys say when they get married, that's when the sex stops and they-"
"Rick, I swear to god, if you don't stop right now, I'm haulin' myself outta this movin' car."
Rick snickered to himself. He wouldn't find teasing the hunter to be so funny if it wasn't so damn easy.
"Ok, ok. But honestly, all joking aside, I'm glad you two are good. You were put through the ringer there a few weeks ago." He told his friend genuinely.
Daryl stiffened slightly, nodding weakly and averting his gaze out his passenger window, completely avoiding Rick's gaze. The action wasn't exactly unlike Daryl, but usually, when someone mentioned Rhiannon he lit up, his eyes would soften and he would be unable to stifle the small smile that would grow at the mere mention of her.
This was different.
"You guys are ok… right?" He asked hesitantly.
"We're fine." Daryl snapped and the sharp tone to his voice was telling.
Rick's face creased in confusion and he stole another glance at the man beside him. It didn't make sense, he'd just walked in on the couple about to get down and dirty, but yet, there was tension there. It couldn't have all been from the unintentional cockblocking he'd experienced.
"Did something happen?"
"Just drop it, said we're fine." Daryl said defensively.
Rick searched his brain. They had been fine the night before. The only real change he had seen was Daryl's attitude when Maggie had announced…
It suddenly all clicked into place.
"Are you two… are you… trying?" He whispered the word, as if it were taboo.
Daryl looked over at Rick hastily, his eyes wide with shock that Rick was on the right path, that he was getting closer to the real reason Daryl was so tense.
Damn, Sheriff, he cursed to himself.
"Holy shit, that's it, isn't it?" Rick said exuberantly, a wide smile growing. "Man, that's- good for you, seriously, you two are gonna be-"
"Ain't like that." Daryl snapped angrily, cutting him off abruptly.
Rick's eyes widened and he snapped his mouth shut, the tension between them growing once again at the clearly touchy subject that had been brought up.
Nothing more was said as they pulled up in front of the quarry. Daryl was out of the car before it had even rolled to a stop. Rick sighed heavily, hoping he hadn't pushed the hunter too far.
He exited the truck, looking back at the car behind them that came to a stop. Merle and Aaron got out, both of them eyeing Daryl curiously at the obvious bad attitude he was sporting.
"What's up his ass?" Merle asked.
"I said somethin'... I think somethin's up with him and Rhi."
"Didn't I hear you gigglin' like a schoolgirl 'bout catching him with his dick out? Mornin' delights ain't exactly fightin' behaviour." Merle snickered and Rick rolled his eyes.
"I brought up the idea of them trying."
Merle and Aaron's eyes widened and they looked at the leader in disbelief.
"Are they…"
"Don't think so."
Merle rolled his eyes. "My brother's too much of a pussy to get it up?" He wondered aloud and both Aaron and Rick looked at him with a scowl. Merle waved them off. "I'll tell him to stop bein' uptight and get to it."
"Hey, no, wait." Rick stopped him abruptly. "We don't know for sure what's got him in a mood. We gotta be subtle about this."
"I can be subtle." Merle argued and received unamused looks back. "Fine." He muttered, giving up on his forward idea of telling his little brother to get back to his wife and make it happen.
"Hey!" Daryl called out, his tone cold. "We doin' this or what?"
All three men schooled their expression, revealing nothing, as they got to work hauling the walkers bodies into the now empty quarry.
Rhiannon was sat on the porch swing, her legs hugged to her chest as she watched the community bustle around her.
Maggie was next to her, throwing worried looks her way every few seconds.
"You know I can see you watching me, right?"
"I'm worried about you. I don't like seeing you like this, especially about Daryl." Maggie admitted quietly.
"Don't worry about us. Even if we want different things, there's nothing in this world that would make me not wanna be with him. He's it for me, has been for a long time."
"But what if he doesn't change his mind?"
"Then he doesn't." Rhiannon shrugged. "I'll move on."
The sadness heard in her sister's voice had Maggie frowning. "You shouldn't have to."
Rhiannon sighed and leaned her head back, biting at her lip as she let her mind wander with difficult thoughts. She felt confused.
"I… I don't know what to do." She breathed out, her voice laced with the stress that weighed heavily on her shoulders. "I don't wanna force him into something he doesn't want."
"He does want it. He's just scared." Maggie reminded her. She exhaled loudly, a look of contemplation of her face as her hand rested on her still-flat belly. "Honestly, I'm scared, too."
Rhiannon reached over, placing her hand over Maggie's. "You're gonna be fine. Don't even go there. What happened to Lori was… it was awful. But you'll be fine. We have Alexandria now. We have doctors and there won't be an ambush threatening our lives."
Maggie nodded and looked over at her sister thoughtfully.
"So, did you say any of that to Daryl?"
Rhiannon stiffened at the realization. She hadn't. She hadn't even tried to convince him otherwise or make her case.
"No." She said quietly, almost regretfully.
"Rhi, you have to talk to him about this." Maggie stressed. "It's like you said, it's different now in Alexandria. You can be looked after, you'll be ok."
"I might not." Rhiannon whispered, realization hitting her like a punch to the chest. "It can still be dangerous. My endometriosis puts me at a higher risk."
Maggie's face fell. She hadn't thought of that. There were no words she could say to make her sister feel better, to take away the possibility that something could go wrong. She couldn't change the truth.
"I'm sorry." Maggie whispered sadly.
Rhiannon didn't respond. She was biting her lip hard to keep her mouth from falling into a deep frown, revealing just how close she was to crying. She didn't want to shed anymore tears over this.
"But nothing's impossible." Maggie started and Rhiannon looked over at her questioningly. "Anything could happen. Endometriosis can make it harder for women to conceive. You got pregnant before, with an implant no less. This doesn't seal your fate permanently."
Rhiannon perked up slightly. She hadn't thought of that before. Her first pregnancy had practically been a miracle. She'd heard depressing stories from women with endometriosis who struggled with infertility for years and then there she was, knocked up without even trying.
"Nothing's impossible." Maggie repeated. "I mean, did anyone think dead people would walk around?"
Rhiannon huffed out a weak laugh. "Ok, you have a point."
"Don't let this scare you or stop you from having what you truly want." Maggie told her and reached over, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Let yourself be happy."
Rhiannon smiled softly and nodded.
"And grow a pair and speak to your husband." She added jokingly, making Rhiannon roll her eyes playfully.
There was a lot to consider, it was a big decision to make and there were thousands of risks. It wasn't just a risk to her, the world was dangerous, their child would have to face the same horrors they did.
But to her, the risks didn't scare her as much as the thought of not having a baby.
She knew what she wanted and she wasn't going to change her mind.
Daryl knew all eyes were on him. It was hard work, disposing the many bodies into the quarry, which thankfully kept everyone quiet, but he could feel the tension, he knew there was a hard conversation coming.
He didn't want to talk about it. He'd had enough of his own brain bringing it up every few seconds. And everytime he did think of it, all he could think of was the inevitable worst outcome, losing Rhiannon forever.
That was a dealbreaker for him. The thought of it made him convince himself he was making the right decision, believing in the right thing to do.
But everytime he told himself that, it made his chest ache. That longing he'd felt ever since he found out about Rhiannon miscarrying was back in full force.
It wasn't a new feeling for him, wanting what he couldn't have, dreaming for something bigger and better, but ever since he met Rhiannon, he'd finally gotten that experience of having something truly pure and wonderful and something that meant everything to him.
He'd gotten a taste of finally getting what he wanted, but this… this he wouldn't get.
"Hey, you good?" Merle's voice brought him back to the present and he realized he hadn't been working, just frozen in his spot, deep in thought.
"M'fine." Daryl rasped, forcing himself back into action, grunting with effort as he hauled a dead walker over his shoulder.
"You sure?"
Daryl looked at his brother in surprise, his brows rising and his eyes studying him calculatingly, as if needing to check to see if Merle was cracking a joke.
"What are you doin'?"
"What, I can't talk to my baby brother?" Merle questioned in defense.
"Didn't know you gave a shit 'bout other people." Daryl mumbled, only slightly sarcastically. Merle had definitely changed for the better over the past year, but he was still Merle and sarcastic, degrading comments were still the regular.
"I care about my sister in law who wants to be filled good and stuffed with your-"
"Merle!" Daryl yelled, cutting off his brother's vulgar words.
"What, just bein' honest, here. You and I both know she's been itching for a little one. You got the easy job in that scenario, ain't no reason you can't deliver… or is there?" Merle chastised with a waggle of his eyebrows.
Daryl rolled his eyes, ignoring the blush that rose to his cheeks. No, getting Rhiannon pregnant wouldn't be the hard part, not by a long shot, but it was what came after that was scaring the living daylights out of him.
But there was no way he was willing to talk about what scared him, especially with Merle.
"Hey, I don't mean to be an asshole-" Merle started, earning a look of incredulity from his brother over his shoulder and he sighed heavily. "-I know it's what she wants, an' maybe I'm bein' crazy, but I think it's what you want too. What's stoppin' you?"
Daryl didn't say anything and focused on his work, but Merle wouldn't take the silent signal to leave it alone and he leaned in closer, lowering his voice.
"Is this about dad?"
Daryl snapped his head towards him, his face creased with anger. "This ain't got anythin' to do with that asshole." He grit out.
That particular worry was squashed a long time ago, thanks to Rhiannon and her constant assurance that he treated her right, that she was happy with him, thankful for him.
"Ok, so-"
"Just leave it." Daryl interrupted Merle sternly and turned on his heel, stomping away from him purposely.
Merel watched his little brother walk away and bowed his head in defeat. It was clear Daryl wasn't willing to divulge what he was feeling and in all honesty, Merle was a little relieved. He got the feeling whatever was going on in Daryl's mind was above his pay grade.
He gave it a shot and he was unsuccessful. He was all too willing to leave it to Officer Friendly to take his turn.
It wasn't too much longer that they had finished dumping all of the dead bodies into the quarry. Daryl suddenly felt dread wash over him as he realized it was time to get back into the car with Rick.
He knew his best friend wouldn't be giving up as easily as Merle and would be willing to pry until he opened up. He knew deep down it would be better for him to talk about it, to get advice, but his usual ways kept him from seeking help. It made him feel vulnerable and he wasn't willing to take that step alone.
With a feeble nod in acknowledgement to Aaron as he passed, who definitely knew what was going on by the way he smiled shyly at him, he made his way into the truck, waiting for Rick to take his place in the driver's seat.
He chewed on the nail of his thumb anxiously, his foot tapping erratically.
He didn't look over at his friend as he got into the truck. Rick started the engine without a word and began to drive with barely a look over at him, something he thought would be relieving, but Daryl found it to be unsettling.
He found, deep down, there was a part of him that wanted Rick to reach out. It kept him from having to and worry himself about looking weak.
It was silent for a few minutes, neither man knowing what to say to the other.
Finally, Rick cleared his throat awkwardly, sparing a quick glance at the hunter, hoping he wasn't about to get yelled at again.
"Stop me if I'm bein' outta line, but there's clearly somethin' goin' on with you. I don't wanna make assumptions, but I think I know why." He started carefully and took Daryl's silence as a signal to continue. "You got real quiet last night after Maggie and Glenn's announcement. I'm sure that brought up a lot of bad memories for you and Rhi."
"She's dealin' with it better than I am." Daryl spoke softly.
Rick nodded slowly, but the questioning expression on his face made it clear he had many questions. Daryl sighed loudly, his anxiety beginning to take over.
"We talked last night… she said she wants to try." He said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Rick couldn't help the small smile from growing at the news. He thought of the couple and how far they'd come, he wanted them to be happy and starting a family was what they deserved.
"So what's the issue?"
Daryl paused, chewing on his lip nervously. He didn't want to bring up Lori, not in front of the man who had been married to her. He knew it was a sensitive topic for Rick and the last thing Daryl wanted to do was make the man relive that awful day at the prison.
"It's- I just… there's too many risks. Can't take the chance of somethin' goin' wrong. Wouldn't be able to live if-" He stopped abruptly, unable to even finish the sentence, the thought of losing Rhiannon.
It was too much to fathom, even hypothetically.
"You're worried about another miscarriage?" Rick guessed.
While that was a factor that absolutely terrified him, it wasn't the only one. He just shrugged non committedly, not denying or confirming he was right.
Rick looked at him curiously, his expression giving away that his guess wasn't exactly right. He let out a shaking breath, his hands tightening on the steering wheel unintentionally as the pieces fell into place.
"You're thinkin' about Lori." Rick said, not even questioning what was going through his friend's mind. He already knew.
Daryl stayed quiet, not knowing what to say to a man that had lost his wife, who had experienced what was currently his worst nightmare, what was keeping him from having what he really wanted.
Exhaling loudly, Rick steeled himself for the conversation he was about to have. He hadn't spoken about Lori in a long time, people tended to avoid all mention of her around him, even Carl. His heart was pounding within his chest and he fought hard to swallow against the lump that formed in his throat.
"I get it. I'd be terrified too. That day was…" He trailed off, finding no words to describe that day he'd lost her. The sadness, the anger, the guilt he felt, it was still overwhelming.
"I know Rhiannon's upset, that she's not on the same page. She said she is, but I could tell. The look on her face… she want's a kid and I don't think I can give that to her."
Rick nodded thoughtfully, not knowing exactly what to say. Daryl's fears were valid, he couldn't deny it. He would be the last person to, after what he'd endured.
"I don't want her to settle. I want her to have everything she wants, but if I can't...if it can't be me-"
"Don't go there." Rick interrupted, hoping to stop Daryl's train of thought before it crippled him with insecurity. "She's not gonna leave you. You know she would never do that, she loves you."
"What if… what if I ain't enough for her?" He wondered aloud. "What if, when Maggie has her baby, she realizes she can't compromise?"
"Well, would you be willing to compromise?"
Daryl just stared out the window. He wanted to so badly. He wanted to get home, start trying and end up in nine months time with a baby in his arms. He wanted that with his wife, with the love of his life.
But he couldn't shake the deep seeded fear.
"You want to have a baby, don't you?"
Daryl nodded, almost imperceptibly, his gaze staunchly avoiding Rick's.
Rick sighed loudly, thinking over his next words carefully. "You know, it's not easy, it's not supposed to be. Bein' a father, that's a full time job right there, the hardest one anyone can do. But you'd be good at it."
Rick smiled softly at the surly hunter. He never would have thought just a year ago he'd be having this conversation with him.
"I know Rhiannon's miscarriage was hard for you both, but when those things happen, when life gives you a punch that knocks you off your feet, you can't stay down. When Lori… when I- I know I lost myself there." He stammered slightly and cleared his throat from the emotion that swelled within him.
"I needed time to get back on my feet after that punch." He said softly. "It was awful, the worst day of my life and I get where you're comin' from. I know why you're scared, why you don't wanna take the risk."
Daryl looked over at him curiously.
"So you ain't tryin' to convince me to get over it and just do it?" He questioned in disbelief.
"I'm not tryin' to make you do somethin' you don't wanna do." Rick said simply. "But the thing is, this isn't exactly somethin' you don't wanna do. You want this."
Daryl shifted slightly. Just the knowledge that someone knew something so intimate about him and Rhiannon, about his deepest desires, made him feel vulnerable.
"And honestly, livin' a life without Judith? That life seems even darker, even worse than how it turned out."
Daryl looked over at Rick, opening his mouth to argue back, but Rick stopped him.
"I'm not sayin' to go for it, that you'll power through if you lose Rhi. I know you, I know what would happen." He corrected. "But, I think if you let this fear keep you from goin' for what you want, you'll be missing out on what could be the best thing to ever happen to you two."
Daryl took in his words thoughtfully, his mind beginning to wander again to that happy place, that dream land that seemed too much like a fantasy to ever be true. He smiled lightly.
"I keep picturin' it, havin' a little girl that looks like Rhi." He spoke quietly, sounding bashful by his admittance. Rick smiled widely.
"You two would have cute kids." He mused with a laugh.
Daryl bit his lips, his mind lost in thought again, this time to the dark part that reminded him of just how wrong it could go.
"Look, you don't have to make a decision now. This shouldn't be a short conversation. It's not for most couples and you and Rhi aren't doin' anything wrong for needin' time with this." Rick told him as they pulled through the gates of Alexandria.
"I just don't wanna lose her." Daryl voiced his deep worry and Rick sighed, looking over at his friend as he turned off the engine.
"You won't." He told him genuinely. "We have doctors, we have a place where we can build a stable life, more stable than the prison."
Daryl bit his lip in thought. He knew logically that Alexandria was safer than the prison had ever been. The electricity, the doctors, the equipment, they were all factors that worked to change his mind.
"And bein' with Carl and Judith, I wouldn't have it any other way. They're the best things in my life and every day I wake up so thankful to have them" Rick told him, the passion in his voice revealing just how much love he held for his children.
Daryl looked over at him plainly. "Now you're bein' biased."
"Yeah, well, I want you two to have kids. You're my brother and I'm allowed to give you a push in the right direction." He said and smirked at the way Daryl rolled his eyes and the small, slight quirk of his lips in the guise of a smile.
Rick's face suddenly turned serious and he bit his lip, lost in thought. "Ok, I was supposed to save this for later, but right now and especially after this morning, there's somethin' I need to show you."
Daryl's cheeks flared red at the mention of what had transpired that morning and his face creased with confusion as Rick got out of the car and waved him forward.
He had no idea what his friend had planned.
Rhiannon sat on the couch, watching fondly as Rob helped Jack with his Lego train set. Being with Jack was both cathartic and painful. He was a reminder of what she'd lost, what she might never get.
It seemed she couldn't stop thinking about babies wherever she went. She worried she'd be doomed to agonzie on the issue for the rest of her life.
"Here you go."
She looked up and smiled to Julia who handed her a cup of tea, mumbling a quiet 'thanks'.
"So how's it going? Are you liking Alexandria so far?"
Julia nodded, a smile coming to her face. "It's been great. Honestly, I can't thank you guys enough for giving me a chance and letting me in."
"Hey, we're just glad you actually stayed after that first impression." Rhiannon joked, making her laugh. Coming to the community as it was overrun with walkers wasn't exactly what they had set out to be their main attraction.
"Well, I was happy to see you guys were fighters. Nowadays you can't survive as anything else."
Rhiannon nodded thoughtfully, she remembered what little Daryl had told her about Julia, about the group she was running from. She quickly shook the thoughts from her head.
Now wasn't the time and she didn't think she had the energy to deal with that just yet.
"There was actually something I wanted to run by you." Julia started. "There's a baby store not too far from here. I thought we could schedule a run, go check it out and get some stuff for Maggie and Glenn, maybe plan a baby shower for them?"
Rhiannon tensed slightly, not expecting the conversation to have gone in that direction. Shit, I really can't escape this, she thought to herself bitterly.
"Uhh, yeah, yeah, that sounds good."
"I know it probably seems stupid, having a baby shower in all this, but some normalcy would be nice. I think we could all use it."
"It's not stupid." Rhiannon told her. "It's a good idea. Maggie will love it."
Soon, a knock sounded at the door and Daryl stepped in, waving to an excited Jack who practically bounced on his feet at the arrival of his favourite hunter.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt. Rhi, you got a second?"
Rhiannon looked at him with wide eyes, caught off guard, and she nodded dumbly, getting to her feet without another word.
"I'll see you guys later." She waved to her friends and followed Daryl out the door.
He grabbed her hand and led her forward, guiding her towards a street that definitely wasn't where their house was.
"Is everything ok?" She questioned before suddenly stiffening with fear. "Did something happen, did the run go ok?"
"Everything's fine, nothin' happened." He assured her. "I got a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" She laughed in disbelief.
"Well, it was actually Rick's surprise, but it's for both of us."
Rhiannon was even more confused by his explanation but she continued to follow him faithfully. She looked up in confusion at the townhouses in front of them and she sputtered as he pulled her up the stairs.
"W-what- Daryl? What are we-"
He opened the door to the house and her eyes widened, looking around the street to make sure no one was watching them break into the house.
"Daryl, what the hell?" She whispered as he led her inside. "Whose house is this?" She asked, looking around at the furnishings that looked straight out of a magazine.
"It's ours."
Rhiannon looked over at Daryl, her brows furrowed with confusion. Surely this was a joke. The small smile on his face made her heart begin to race excitedly.
"Are you fucking with me?"
Daryl snickered and shook his head.
"I'm serious as hell right now, darlin'." He told her. "This place is ours."
"W-wha-, how did, why?" She stammered in disbelief, turning on her heel as she took in the perfectly designed living room they were stood in.
"Now that we're married, the others thought we could use a place to ourselves."
"You mean after this morning they decided they didn't wanna walk in on us anymore?"
Daryl leaned his head back in exasperation at that dreaded morning being brought up yet again. But he smirked slightly at the sound of her laughing.
"No." He stressed, grabbing her hand in his. "Apparently they'd been plannin' this since we got married."
"Sneaky bastards." Rhiannon mumbled, still looking around the room in awe.
"Wanna see the rest?"
She nodded eagerly and squeezed her hand in his as he led her through the kitchen and dining room and guided her upstairs. He opened the door at the top of the landing and her jaw dropped as she took in the large room.
"This is our room."
"Holy shit, is that an ensuite?" She yelled happily. "Oh my god, I always wanted one, they're so fancy."
Her happy ramblings put a wide smile on his face and he laughed softly. He grabbed her other hand, turning her to face him. He laid his hands on the base of her neck, tilting her head upwards as he leaned down and crashed his lips to hers eagerly.
Rhiannon held tight to his back, kissing him back with a fervor.
"This is amazing." She whispered breathlessly as they separated, their foreheads leaned against each other.
"Come on, there's more."
Daryl's heart was pounding inside his chest. He could feel the tension in his body, drawn so tight it made it hard to walk. He took a deep breath and opened the next door, pausing before stepping in.
Rhiannon looked around the room thoughtfully and her eyes fell back on him, the question clear in her gaze.
"It's empty." She noted.
"Yeah." Daryl whispered, chewing on his lip anxiously. "We can… this can be… this can be our kid's room." He stumbled on his quiet words.
Rhiannon's eyes widened and she stared at Daryl who was looking at her nervously. Her face was slack with shock, not having expected his sudden change in opinion.
"W-what- are… are you serious?"
He shrugged and nodded slightly.
"I know it's what you want. I know you weren't happy last night."
Rhiannon sighed and reached out, squeezing his hands in hers tightly. "Daryl, I can't force you into this. I don't wanna make you do something that makes you uncomfortable."
"Well, I can't lose you. I wanna give you everythin' you want."
Rhiannon frowned and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
"Listen to me. I married you because I love you, with all of my heart. There's no one else in the world that I would ever want more than you." She told him passionately, hoping her words would stick with him.
"I won't leave you if you don't want kids, ok? If that's not what you want, then that's not what you want. That's not gonna change how I feel about you."
Daryl looked at her impassionedly. He knew, deep down, that what they had was strong, that Rhiannon loved him, that they didn't need kids to save their marriage. But he thought back to what he was most scared of when he first thought of marrying her.
He had been scared of not being enough, of not being able to provide for her, to give her everything she wanted.
He couldn't let himself fail her because he was scared.
He'd done enough of that in his life and he wasn't willing to keep on that way, especially with her.
"I want this with you." He told her softly. Rhiannon practically melted into him, her arms wrapped around him tightly.
She felt tears sting at her eyes, deep emotions bubbling to the surface, ones she'd kept at bay all day.
"Are you sure? I don't wanna be the one that makes this decision for the both of us."
Daryl looked down at her, gently brushing a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face. He leaned down and softly kissed her, taking her breath away. His gentle touch always left her feeling overwhelmed.
She kept her eyes closed as he pulled away, scared to reveal her watering eyes, scared to show just how emotional this made her. But he knew, his hand crept upwards, holding the side of her face.
"Rhiannon," He urged softly, making her slowly open her eyes and lock her gaze on his. Her breathing stuttered when she saw his own eyes shining. "I want this. I wanna have a baby with you."
"What changed your mind?"
Daryl hesitated, thinking back to all the moments with Rick, all the moments of contemplation that slowly worked through his mind throughout the day, easing his fears.
"Rick, when he was talkin' about Carl and Judith, he had this look on his face. I don't even think he realized, but it was there. He just… lit up. He was so happy, so in love. Just sayin' their names did that to him."
He looked down at his wife reverently, pulling her in closer to him so there was no inch of space left between them.
"When he showed me the house and we got to this room, I could see it. I could see the walls painted pink, a pile of teddy bears in the corner, a little girl on her bed, cuddled up with her mama."
Rhiannon sniffled, wiping the stray tear that began to fall down her cheek at the image he painted.
"I can't stop thinkin' about it. That little girl, our little girl, won't leave my head."
Daryl reached out, wiping her tears that fell with his thumb. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips chastely.
"I want this with you. I want everything with you."
The risks still lingered in his mind, still haunted him deeply, but for once, the excitement, the longing, the want for a baby outshined those dark feelings.
Daryl couldn't ignore what he wanted. He'd done that too often in his life before the world ended. He didn't want to miss out on this and he especially didn't want Rhiannon to.
He wanted a baby and, for once in his life, he wasn't going to let his fear dictate his life.
It was even easy to pretend the fear didn't exist as he held his wife tightly, her lips against his as she kissed him with everything she had, leaving him dizzy and breathless. He knew he had a scary journey ahead, but it was one he was so eager to take.
Well that took forever! I hope you enjoyed and that emotional journey did this moment justice. I know there was a lot of dialogue, but I hope you're ready for what's next! I'm so excited!
Thank you to everyone who has read this story and kept up with Daryl and Rhiannon. It means the world to me to get your comments, they really do make my day and help me find motivation for this story, even after all this time.
Love you all! xx
