Candela
Night has always brought along tranquility and calmness, but ever since the 57th expedition finished, Captain Levi hasn't been able to find peace, not even in the loneliness of his room. During the day, all treasons, titans and everything the legion discovered about their enemies keep him alert and restless, but when the sun sets, the losses stalk him in every shadow and every thought he managed to avoid during the daylight.
Levi knows this night, just like many others before, sleep wouldn't be easy and resigned, he lights a candle to avoid the gloom that threats to consume the best of him. There is something comfortable in that tiny light in the middle of darkness.
The Captain sits in the chair in front of his desk, ignoring the pending documents and gets mesmerized seeing the candle's flame, which moves, dancing to the rhythm of his breathing, but sometimes it remains still as if it was observing and expecting something from him. Suddenly, she comes to his mind; that person whose loss hurt him the most during the last expedition. Truth to be told, all his squad was eliminated, except for Eren, and even though he would remember them for the rest of his days, like a scar that would relive what he could have done and didn't, the loss of the girl with honey eyes would be a wound that could hardly heal.
Candle lights make him think about Petra. The enthusiasm she showed when she was determined to do something always showed in her bright eyes. A brightness that, just like the flame, seemed to shine every time her gaze met his, warm like each one of their kisses and the contact between their skins every time they touched, no matter how quick the moment passed.
Remembering her once more, Captain Levi feels a deep pain that gives him chest tightness and briefly leaves him breathless, while he tries to suppress the huge desire to cry he has accumulated along his life. For a moment, he turns to look through the window behind him, but almost instinctively his eyes set again in the candle, which has become the only thing that could led Petra back to him, and where he finds the last remains of warmness now that she's gone.
But just as ephemeral are those instants of light and warmness, in contrast to the moments after the candlelight extinguishes and only the smoke remains, as well as the remains of everything once was.
With resignation, Levi thinks that, just like the smoke goes up to the sky, almost leaving without a trace, the spirit of the brave girl that was once part of his squad travels up to sky as well, finally spreading wings of freedom and showing him one last smile before going away.
And then finally the long-awaited sleepiness reaches the captain, right before leaning forward to his desk and closing his eyes, he hears Petra's voice calling him. He knows it's impossible, but he still closes his eyes, as if he was trying to see her again and when he feels a chill down his spine, he stand up and looks at the door, where he though the voice came from, knowing he would never see more than the candle smoke, continuing its way to the sky.
Author's notes:
This is part of my writing for Rivetra trick 2020. It's been a long time since I've written rivetra, and I haven't written anything lately. It's been a tough year for everyone and I think it show in the gloominess of this drabble. To be honest, it was quite difficult for me to write it. I didn't know how to do it but after all, I think it's not that bad, although it's more melancholic than what I usually write. Anyways, I hope you liked it!
