"Time check!"
"Half nine." Emily called back, glancing hurriedly at the clock. Her eyebrows furrowed as the landline started ringing. "Who the hell is that?"
"It's Christmas… it could be someone phoning to wish us–"
"On the landline? No one calls on the landline. Who would be calling on the landline?"
"Answer it and find out!" Her wife shouted back exasperatedly. "Then get on with setting the table!"
Pulling a face, the younger woman snatched up the handset from the cradle and jammed it between her ear and her shoulder. "Hello?" There was a long pause and whoever was on the other end didn't answer. "Uhhh? Is there someone there?"
"Who is it, darling?"
"No idea, babe." Emily replied, pausing again for a moment before hanging up with a shrug. "They didn't say anything."
"Maybe you caught it just before they hung up?"
"Mmm… I dunno… pretty sure there was someone on the other end…"
"Oh, not again."
"Again? Serena?"
The older woman wafted a hand dismissively, relieved that Emily couldn't see her from the other room. "There have been a couple of calls like that. It's nothing… we probably have a number that's similar to a business or something. Don't worry about it."
"Hmm… Have you ever tried calling back?"
"Don't be ridiculous. It's clearly a wrong number or something."
"I still don't like it."
"Either way, have you finished the table?"
"I'm doing it!" Emily complained, pulling a face in the direction of the kitchen where her wife was peeling carrots.
"This is your fault, you know that, right?" Serena shouted back.
"What? Why?"
"It wasn't me who was adamant we didn't have to get up when the alarm went off."
"Serena, it wasn't me who was adamant that we should host Christmas dinner for our entire family on our first wedding anniversary." Emily reminded her. "You know I was pushing for Mum and Os to do it so that we could literally roll out of bed and get over to theirs in time for lunch."
"It was our turn."
"I'm pretty sure Mum and Os wouldn't have minded seeing as we paid for their entire day last year."
"What d'you mean we paid? Your father paid for most of it."
"Yeah, well… he's got to useful for something." Emily muttered, rolling her eyes and considering the table for a moment before placing another couple of bottles of wine in the centre. "Besides, they're my mums. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to have done an extra year, whether it was our turn or not."
"Yes, well, I wasn't happy to do that." Serena informed her bluntly. "I'm not having your mother…"
Emily frowned. "You're not having my mother, what?"
"Nothing."
"Rena?"
"Well…" She exhaled sharply, furrowing her eyebrows as her wife reappeared in the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm not having Kate Stewart thinking we can't host Christmas dinner for everyone."
Emily laughed, unable to believe she was serious. "You're kidding? Mum wouldn't think we couldn't host Christmas dinner! We've done it before, loads of times. She'd understand that maybe we just wanted to spend a bit of time together, rather than worrying about roast potatoes and napkin rings."
"Be serious for once in your life, Emily!"
"Serena, I don't understand why this is such a big deal." The younger woman admitted. "It's just one day… it doesn't have to be perfect… no one is expecting it to be perfect. Christmas Day is never perfect. The fact that we're all going to be together with nothing to stress about – not to mention the massive amounts of presents and food and drink – means that today is going to be amazing."
"It better be…"
"What the hell is happening?" Emily raised her hands to her head in complete and utter bemusement. "Has something happened between you and Mum that I've missed? Is this a competitive thing?"
"Of course not." Serena snapped. "I just want our day to be perfect."
Stepping forward, Emily slid her arms around her wife's waist, feeling just how tense the older woman was. She narrowed her eyes and looked at her carefully for a long moment, knowing that there was definitely something that she was missing. Unless Serena decided to enlighten her, however, she knew that she could guess until she was blue in the face and not get anywhere near the cause of her wife's irritability.
"You're here, I'm here… that lot are on their way… it'll be perfect." Emily promised softly. "I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell-Stewart."
"I love you, too, darling." Serena sighed.
"Right, so, will you please stop stressing about this one day? In… fourteen hours and ten minutes it'll all be over. Everyone will have long gone home – happy and tipsy and about two dress sizes bigger than they were when they arrived – and we'll be fast asleep, snuggled up in our bed. Then tomorrow we're going to that fancy hotel I booked and by the time we get back Christmas will be a distant memory."
Serena inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against Emily's. "OK."
"OK?"
"OK."
"Good." Leaning in, Emily kissed her soundly. "Right… what's my next job?"
"I've got everything under control in here." Serena informed her, suddenly business-like again. She pushed her wife away gently and turned back to the oven, grabbing a tray and opening the door. "Have you done the table?"
"Yes! Of course I have! You asked me and I did it. That's done."
"It's a bloody Christmas miracle."
"Rude."
"Is everything under the tree?"
"I think so?" Emily scrunched up her nose thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure we brought everything down from the spare room."
"Can you go and check, darling?" Serena asked, fixing her with a pleading look. "Please?"
"Yeah, OK, babe. Whatever you want."
Kissing her quickly, pausing for a moment and leaning back in to kiss her again, Emily sighed and reluctantly pulled away. Backing towards the door, she grinned cheekily at Serena until she was out in the hallway. Then she turned and jogged up the stairs to do as she'd been asked.
The spare room was completely clear of any obvious presents, but Emily knew that Serena had kept some in the chest of drawers under the window. Rooting around inside it, she was just checking the last drawer when she felt arms sliding round her waist and her wife's body pressing against hers.
Smiling, the younger brunette leant back into Serena's embrace, closing her eyes as she felt lips trailing from her exposed shoulder along her neck to her jaw. She said nothing, her grin broadening as Serena's hands started to wander.
"I'm sorry I was so grumpy."
"Well, it was pretty harsh considering its Christmas and our anniversary."
"I'll make it up to you."
Turning, Emily wrapped her arms around Serena tightly, pulling her flush against her body and smirking at her suggestively. "What did you have in mind?"
Serena kissed her slowly, her hands slipping underneath the Christmas jumper her wife had insisted on wearing that morning, pushing it up until they had to break apart so she could pull it over Emily's head. Then she was kissing her again, harder and more desperately before. Her hands fumbled with the button on the younger woman's jeans.
The doorbell rang.
Emily let out a long, frustrated huff. "I fucking hate our family."
"They do have horrendous timing." Serena agreed, exhaling deeply. "To be continued?"
"Without a doubt."
Leaving Emily to grumpily do up the button on her jeans and pull her jumper back on, Serena headed downstairs, straightening her shirt and smoothing down her hair as she went. She painted a smile on her face as she pulled open the door, immediately finding herself being engulfed in a hug by her great-niece and asked several questions in quick succession by the little girl's mother.
Lorna smiled weakly as she stepped over the threshold, apologising for her fiancé who had barely spared his sister-in-law a cursory 'merry Christmas' as he and Jason were already engrossed in their conversation and apparently had lost their manners in the process. Serena shook her head in understanding, used to the two young men's lack of awareness of anyone else when they got together.
"We got you a present, Rena!" Alice announced, running up the path ahead of her mothers who were lugging two huge bags of presents each. "Me and Henry paid for it."
"That's so kind of you, darling!" Serena told her, patting her cheek and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "In you go and see if you can find your sister."
"Happy Anniversary, Serena." Osgood greeted her, setting down the bags of presents and leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek. "And Merry Christmas."
"Thank you and Merry Christmas to you both." She stood aside to let them in. "Please don't mention Em's jumper… I've tried to get her to take it off, but she's adamant it's the best Christmas jumper she's ever owned."
"Better than the 'make the yuletide gay' one?" Kate asked, arching an eyebrow, kissing Serena on the cheek as she dragged her present bags inside.
"Or the 'a gay in a manger' one?"
"Or the 'camp as Christmas' one?"
"Apparently so." Serena agreed, rolling her eyes at the reminders of her wife's Christmas jumper collection. "This was a present from Jasmine, so I'll be having words the next time I see her."
"Is it wrong that I'm slightly looking forward to seeing it?" Osgood asked.
As one, Kate and Serena shot her an almost identical look. "Yes."
Shaking her head and chuckling, Osgood headed into the living room. She cleared her throat, causing Alice, Henry and Gwennie to jump away from the carefully wrapped presents already placed under the tree. Having the good sense to look apologetic, they nodded as the brunette asked them to empty the presents from her bags and arranged them with the others.
Kate added her own bags to the pile, before standing back and smiling fondly at the three children doing their best to restrain themselves from investigating anytime they spotted their own names on one of the parcels. Wrapping her arm around her wife, the blonde pressed a quick kiss to her lips as Gordon appeared with two glasses of wine, which he handed over before dropping onto the sofa beside his fiancée and taking the pint glass she'd been holding for him.
"What time are Nan and Grandad arriving?" He asked Osgood, glancing at the time.
"Any time now, hopefully." His stepmother sighed, following his gaze towards the clock on the mantelpiece. "Mum was fussing about the trifle she's made and Dad was doing his best to force her into the car when we phoned earlier."
"Grace had already left, so they'll probably arrive at the same time." Kate added.
"I'm so grateful Serena didn't mind her coming too." Osgood admitted in a low voice.
"Of course I don't mind." The older brunette appeared in the room at that moment, smiling warmly at her. "I couldn't have her and the kids spending Christmas on their own."
"Well we're still all very grateful."
"It's Christmas!" Emily's dramatic arrival in the room prevented Serena from assuring her that it wasn't necessary. Instead all the adults gathered in the room either looked exasperated or craned their necks to get a look at her jumper, while the children squealed excitedly and threw themselves at her. "Merry Christmas peasants!"
"Oh deer, I'm queer." Kate read, squinting at the front of her daughter's jumper, before rolling her eyes. "Oh, for god's sake, Em…"
"What?" The younger woman laughed, shifting Gwennie on her hip so that the design was clearly visible, the rainbow reindeer with its speech bubble clearly delighting her. "It's amazing!"
"You have a unique grasp of the word amazing, love." Kate told her fondly, shaking her head and realising that there was no point pushing the matter. The more she questioned the choice of jumper, the more Emily would claim she loved it. "Right, Serena, what can we do to help?"
Several hours later the living room was a sea of wrapping paper. The twins and their cousins were having a wonderful time with their new toys, while the adults laughed and talked, watching them play. Osgood's parents were cooing over their youngest grandchild, while Grace hovered around them, concerned that her mother had drunk slightly too much of Serena's Shiraz to be left with her baby daughter. Osgood rolled her eyes at her sister's behaviour, before wandering into the conservatory to join in Jason and Gordon's conversation about the latest findings from NASA.
"Is it bedtime yet?" Emily asked her wife, sidling up to Serena in the kitchen and resting her forehead on the older woman's shoulder. "I'm exhausted."
"Excuse me?" Turning, Serena shot her a look. "I have plans for you later, Mrs Campbell-Stewart, so you'd better find some energy from somewhere."
"In that case…"
"Emmy? Can you come and help me and Louise?" Alice demanded, appearing just before her older sister could kiss her wife. She ignored the frown she received, grinning broadly instead. "We can't work out how to build the train."
"It's Lego, dummy, go and ask Jason… he's the expert."
"Be nice, Emily." Serena murmured. "She's coming now, sweetheart."
Poking out her tongue, Emily followed the six-year-old back into the middle of the comfortingly domestic situation in the living room, leaving her wife smiling after her fondly.
