CHAPTER IX: ORDINANCE
The Cherry Blossom Sanctuary lives up to its name because the first thing we encounter upon exiting the gateway is a colourful breeze of cherry blossom petals. The pink petals are everywhere, laying on the ground, floating on the mild breeze and coating the many blooming trees surrounding us. Though there's some stonework leading us towards the main building, the trees actively deny the path by using their roots and their petals to tear up and obscure the pathway. I pale slightly when the breeze swirls around us as if alive, clearing out the petals in our vicinity and giving us space to walk through undisturbed.
Among the forest of cherry blossoms that keep growing their petals constantly is a Shinto shrine building glowing the emerald light from every opening in the structure. The petals danced around the parameter of the shrine, unable to enter the strange protective circle that guarded it against their flurry of mess. It feels intimidating approaching this place of power that opposed the landscape and I'm outwardly glad that Shalltear is leading the way. We pass through the main wooden archway into a rock garden lovingly maintained and my guard is immediately raised when several emerald motes floating lazily around the main building redirect themselves at high speed towards us. They slam into the rocks and earth next to the winding stone pathway towards the shrine entrance, each mote transforming into a humanoid shape and standing a head taller than us. The armour they wear is the armour of the samurai, each suit as unique from each other as the weapons they wield. Their ghostly faces are hidden behind traditional masks built into their ornate helmets and as one, they hold their weapons at attention and bow at the waist as we pass.
"The protectors of the shrine, beings of pure energy. Aureole Omega hasn't had to guard the shrine herself ever since the Emerald Tablet was returned," Shalltear comments as she leads us onwards without hesitation, our footfalls on the stone the only sound heard over the muted breeze and the distant rustling trees. The wooden steps into the shrine creak as we ascend but as we reach the top, I hear the stamp of wood on stone and turn in time to see the protectors ascend into the air as balls of energy to take their vigil around the shrine once more. I turn back rapidly to step on the elaborate welcoming mat, the grand wooden doors swinging open silently on their hinges. Inside is a swirling vortex of emerald energy and coating the entire ceiling and some of the walls are multiple windows of green projecting a multitude of information. Among it all is Aureole Omega sitting at the farthest wall in a high-back wooden chair, her hands dancing through information to accept, deny, allocate, and reallocate resources.
My eyes are immediately drawn to the Emerald Tablet, my head craning upwards to find the small but significant artefact suspended from the ceiling on steel chains that glowed bright green with contained power. Aureole stops in her work and stands up to round the chair, her form gently rolling her shoulders to ease some of the stiffness. She approaches us rapidly and gives us a slight bow while saying over the hum of magic, "Your visit is unexpected. What brings you two to this shrine of ours?"
The Emerald Tablet responds to her question by glowing far brighter then I thought possible, the light making the room too bright. I'm yanked violently off the ground by unseen forces and pulled upwards, Shalltear holding onto my right hand with both of hers and refusing to let go for the time being. She's pulled off the ground along with me towards the artefact and, thinking quickly, she shouts over the growing noise of energy surge, "I'm going to let go but I'll catch you when you fall, okay!?"
I don't want her to let go and try to keep my hold on her but her hands release mine before she ascends too high off the ground. I feel my body flip towards the artefact pulling me towards it, my eyes closing to avoid the worst of the brightness projecting from it. I don't have time to question what to do because I feel the Emerald Tablet reach into me with magical tendrils and rip the fragments it needs out of my body with ungentle surges of power. I scream in agony as part of me is torn away without mercy, the artefact releasing its hold on me as soon as it has what it wants. My body feels numb and limp as it falls to the ground, discarded now that I served my purpose. Shalltear catches me before I hit the ground and despite the numbness I feel, I can still feel her comforting me by rubbing my head and holding my face with her hands.
I stare up at the Emerald Tablet, watching its light pulse like a heartbeat and project its renewed power into the chains holding it. The chamber returns to what it was before but with more information, energy, and noise to emphasize that something has changed. I tear my eyes away from the sight and ask Shalltear in a hoarse voice, "Take me... outside... please..."
She doesn't question my request and gathers me in her arms, my bodies weight not troubling her at all as she makes her way towards the entrance. The reduction of noise and light from exiting the shrine is a blessing but I gesture with a limp right arm for Shalltear to put me down in the centre of the garden. She looks concerned underneath the determination and I share her concern as she gently places me on the ground. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing but I endeavour to see this through no matter what.
I call out to the familiar darkness, once held back by foreign powers but now freely surging into the new void left behind. I ask Shalltear to step back as I move groggily to my feet, all of my muscles stinging from the surge of old magic and new change coursing through every part of me. I give voice to my pain and roar in agony into the surroundings, the noise reverberating with the primal being within me surging to the surface. I'm grateful that Shalltear removes my suit magically before I can tear through it but quickly return my focus on extending my arms outwards so the violent change has room to work.
Flesh and bones extend and lengthen my arms into a large set of leathery black wings, talons of hard scales terminating from the wingtips. My torso and legs swell and toughen to support the wing's weight, heavy stumps of dark scales and black flesh cracking the ground underneath. My torso bulges as the flesh and bones within harden and is then covered with black scales until my body is forced forward from the weight. A stubby black tail grows from my lower back, blending seamlessly with my body as if it had always been there. My head is the last part to change, my face extending to become a long-snouted maw filled with large teeth that I struggle to move.
The weight is too much to bear and with a pained groan of a beast, I collapse onto my front with a loud, scraping thud of scales on stone. I blink with eyes that are unable to turn in their sockets, my vision unable to see directly in front of me nor slightly below my head. Shalltear comes into view on the right side of my face, her presence calming and helping me focus past the pain. She places her right hand on the right side of my head, her hand tiny in comparison to my size as I'm able to groan through my maw, "... Do you see me?... for what I am?... I'm just another monster-"
"No, you aren't. You're a proto-drake who changed into their true form for the first time. The pain is temporary," she replies calmly and with certainty, my eyes closing to try and ward off the pain with concentration. My breath howls through my chest and my open maw, sounding incredibly loud in the silence but helping me focus on something. I feel Shalltear press herself against my face and feel a warmth wash over me, her magic helping eas the pain and focus my mind. I open my eyes slowly and groggily rise off the ground, my muscles and bones feeling better but my sight still awkward and nausea-inducing.
"That's it. Take it slow. Your wings are also your forward limbs so use them and your tail for balance," Shalltear instructs, my wing-like arms swooping slowly forward and clicking the talons and spikes against the ground. I try and keep my stubby tail level with the rest of my body as I do as she instructs, taking a few attempts to coordinate all of my limbs to move in one direction. Soon, I'm clumsily stamping towards the shrine with tolerable efficiency but with no means to move quietly. I have to halt before I ram my long head into the shrine itself, the sudden pause causing me to fall onto my front again. Shalltear moves into view on my right side before saying, "Try turning around but slowly. You'll get dizzy if you go too fast."
My head nods but I bump my chin into the ground awkwardly as I try to stand up and coordinate my limbs to go left. I end up going too fast and falling onto my left side midway through turning but instead of staying down, I'm able to rise and complete the turn. I hear Shalltear chuckle and say with humour, "You should see the look on your face when you concentrate. It's part focusing but part indignation."
I barely hear her words because I'm thinking of how much practice I'll have to do to move properly in this form. Shalltear read my thoughts and says gently, "Let's stop for now. Focus on the form you want and let it come to you. Close your eyes."
I do as instructed and image how I used to be before becoming this monstrous form. I feel my body shrink and contract in response to my will, the transformation back into a humanoid much faster and less painful than the opposite direction. I open my eyes slowly, grateful beyond words that my arms are no longer wings and that I can see what's directly in front of me again. I try to get up but feel weak still, Shalltear appearing on my right once again and helping me to my feet by putting my right arm over her shoulder. A wave of dizziness descends over me once I'm upright and I have to close my eyes to ward it off.
"What's... happening to me?" I croak as I feel my body get dragged for a few steps before being picked up and carried. I can barely open my eyes because having them open causes intense dizziness from the surroundings spinning in a circle. Shalltear shushes me and whispers, "You're becoming what you really are and it's a painful process. You've been suppressing your true nature since you were born but you couldn't suppress it forever... I've been where you've been before... or at least, a similar situation."
All I can do is nod as I fall asleep in her arms.
I awaken feeling numb and exhausted, my eyes crusted over from a long time sleeping and my mouth dry for the same reason. I wipe away the crust so I can open my eyes, regretting it when the meagre light in the room hurts me. I force myself to adapt to the light, keeping my eyes open despite the pain so I can watch the world come into focus.
"You can't fight what you are without paying a price," Shalltear whispers from my left, my head turning too quickly and making myself dizzy. I vaguely remember what she said moments ago and focus on preventing the dizziness, my body responding by flooding my system with dark energy. The dizziness passes and I feel much better immediately, enough for me to turn my head again and find Shalltear. She's sitting at the bed's edge facing away from me, fully clothed in her gown but before I can say anything, she whispers further, "You're stubborn to a fault and that makes you fight well past the point of sane thought... if we didn't take you in at the time we did, you'd be dead several times over."
"The shadows would've consumed my body and soul. I would've tried to resist their influence to the end, sealing my fate," I reply, Shalltear turning her body so that she can put her legs on the bed and face me. She looks sad and has the evidence of recent tears on her face, a sight that I hate myself for making her go through. I quickly cross the distance between us, moving at a speed and precision that I thought impossible but ignoring the minor detail given the current situation. I bring her into an embrace, whispering as I stroke her hair, "It'll be okay, Shalltear... we'll get through this like we always do... I'm not going anywhere-"
"You've been asleep for three days," she replies slowly, the idea jarring in its suddenness. I felt like I had been asleep for only one night yet three days had passed in the waking world without me knowing it. Shalltear starts to tear up as she whispers sadly, "Is this how it'll always be?... I left waiting for you to wake up, helpless to do anything?"
"I have a solution for this," I reply as I release our embrace and take her right hand. With a deft movement, I remove the ring she has on her ring finger while gently flicking the one on my right ring finger into the same hand. I focus on the task with a sharpened mind, moving Shalltears right hand on top of the rings and saying gently, "Imbue some of your magic into the rings... trust me."
I close my eyes and focus, dark power flowing through my body into the twin rings and mingling with her unleashed magic. It's the first time I've felt our dark presences mingling with each other so closely, my magic finally unfiltered and raw for her to witness. It only takes moments to accomplish what I need to and once I open my eyes, I gently take one of the blackened rings with my right hand and place it back on her ring finger. As soon as I place the other ring on my right ring finger, an overwhelming sense of her presence washes over me that I let into my being. Suddenly, I could feel her presence in a way that transcended words and ideas, her presence a physical force that pushed gently against my mind. I whisper as I let the feeling wash over me, "Now we can feel each other no matter the distance, no matter the obstacle... I will always find my way back to you."
Shalltear hugs me tightly and tries to choke back a cry but I let her express herself, rubbing her hair and back to encourage her emotions to come out. She snaps at me as she hits my chest lightly with her left hand, "I hated this feeling of helplessness! I hated that everything I do to help you hurts you just as badly! Why can't things just work out!?"
"I can't expect there to be no pain when I've spent all this time and effort trying to run from pain," I whisper as Shalltear tries to cool her growing rage but I encourage her again to let the emotions out. Something snaps in her mind and she slaps me across the face, my head whipping to the left side but recovering quickly. Shalltear's expression of shock is a new sight for me but before she can apologize, I whisper while ignoring the pain, "I deserved that and more besides after all the things I've put you through... so I don't mind-"
"That doesn't make it right! Why are you acting like this is normal!?" she snaps at me, her eyes looking away from me but only for a moment. She fails in stopping her raw emotions and slaps me across the face a second time, this time with far more force. I feel my teeth bite my inner cheek but feel the wound close inside my mouth before it can bleed freely. Shalltear is tearing up again and my arms bring her into an embrace as she starts to shake uncontrollably. She says between rapid breaths, "Why are you... doing this?... why are you... letting me... hit you?..."
"I hope this helps you understand that I'm willing to do what it takes to fix what I've broken. I'm done being a bad husband," I reply calmly, Shalltear shaking in my arms as she starts to let her sadness out with loud sobs. I let my feelings out as well, crying silently with her and wishing that things weren't the way they were. I quickly dispose of the thought and force my mind to face the reality of the situation and all of the pain it brings.
There's so much to do but I'm finally ready to make things right.
