Chapter 95.
Scott knew they were being watched.
He couldn't see, hear, or smell anything out of the ordinary, but he knew. Oh boy, he knew.
Those rug rats were up to something. Those good-for-nothing, devious little runts…oh, they thought they had the measure of him. They thought they had him over a barrel. They thought they had the upper hand. Four against one.
'Pfft…
Much to Kayo's dismay, Scott spent the duration of the movie so highly strung he barely registered what they were watching. The eldest brother could tell it was a horror film, considering he didn't even have to look at the screen to know that someone was dying a long, slow, painful, messy and very drawn-out death…
'And people say I'm dramatic.'
A soft thud by the staircase had Scott jerking his head every which way, his blue gaze frantically seeking a tell-tale flash of blond, ginger or black. When his x-ray vision turned up nothing of note, he grudgingly returned to calculating what assault methods he could employ with two broken feet.
"Hey, you okay?" Kayo twisted her head to peer up at the eldest Tracy, "You've been distracted all evening. Is something on your mind?"
Scott frowned and shook his head. He knew agreeing to a date on the island had been a bad idea. They should have played it safe and booked a table at a fancy restaurant on top of a mountain in some dim, distant country. Somewhere where none of his idiot brothers would think to look.
"Sorry, just crunching some numbers," Scott lied, forcing a smile onto his face as he reached for a slice of pizza, "Can't say all that blood and gore has done my appetite any favours, but now that things are quiet, I wanted to ask you-"
BANG.
Scott's (supposed) declaration of love was cut off by the sudden appearance of Gordon, who was clad in flip flops and a straw hula skirt, a ukulele clutched in his hand.
"Gordon?" Kayo goggled, unsure of where to direct her eyes, "What the hell? Why are you dressed like that?"
It was no secret that Gordon was obsessed with all things Hawaiian (shirts, surfing, and pineapple juice to name a few), but the coconut bra was taking things a bit too far…
"Hey guys!" the aquanaut sang, waving despite the mere six feet that separated him from the sofa Scott and Kayo were sat upon, "Oh, don't mind me. Celery and I are just practising for a lil' charity gig we've agreed to do at the Royal Children's Hospital in Melbourne next week. I promise, you won't even know we're here."
Scott hated how naturally lying came to the fourth brother.
"Waka waka, huma nuka!" the aquanaut screeched, hula-dancing his way around the lounge while thrashing at the strings of his ukulele, "Tiki tiki, waka waka, makihiki tiki, aloha!"
A groan of pure, unfiltered despair forced its way up Scott's throat as Celery joined in on the action and began barking and yapping excitedly. The eldest brother had always assumed that there was a certain level none of his brothers would stoop beneath when trying to one-up him. Sure, being a big brother meant that his ankles were going to get gnawed from time to time, but the angel on his shoulder had always assured him that his brother's actions, no matter how petty, were always imbued with love, familial devotion and support…
Gordon yelled something nonsensical and threw a handful of confetti over Kayo's head.
Apparently, his shoulder angel was full of bullshit.
"Whoops, my bad!" Gordon sang, strumming out a final chord on his ukulele before draping a pair of flower garlands around Scott and Kayo's necks, "Should probably save the rest for the big day. You fixed a date yet, huh big bro?"
Scott blanched, but barely had time to open his mouth before two other unwelcome bodies made their way into the den.
John and Alan.
Kayo huffed and fished a stray piece of confetti out of her bra, oblivious to the two newcomers, "What big day? Is there a birthday on the horizon that I don't know about?"
"Not exactly," Scott replied, his heart resigning in protest when he spied a cylindrical cannister tucked neatly underneath John's left arm, "What do you two want?"
Alan beamed, his left eye twitching just slightly when he spied how Scott's arm was draped across the back of the sofa behind Kayo's shoulders. Without waiting for the cue he'd agreed upon with John, the youngest seized the thin rubber hose that was attached to the top of the aforementioned cannister and took a loud, long puff of whatever was inside.
"Ello, Scotty."
Helium.
Gordon dissolved into hysterics as John, never one to be upstaged, snatched the hose off Alan and inflated his own lungs.
"A very good evening to you both. Kayo, I trust you're enjoying my brother's company?"
Kayo tried, oh how she tried to resist. Calling every ounce of willpower she possessed to the forefront of her mind, she attempted desperately to school her features into something resembling annoyance. Tragically, a helium-infused hiccup on Alan's part had her lips twitching uncontrollably, forcing her to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check.
Scott was less easily swayed. A deadpan expression of epic proportions was the only thing he was capable of mustering for the four buffoons he was forced to call brothers.
Speaking of four, he'd yet to lay eyes on Virgil. Not that his absence concerned Scott in the slightest. No doubt the chonk would be along soon.
As usual, he wasn't wrong.
"Hey guys!" Virgil chirped, covering the distance between the staircase and the sofa in three strides before plonking himself down between Scott and Kayo, his mass forcing both of them to scoot up to make room for his rather large backside, "What are we talking about on this fine evening?"
Blue eyes narrowed to slits as Scott glowered at his immediate brother. He knew Virgil was trying to make a point by acting as a physical barrier between him and Kayo, but surely there were better ways to go about it than dumping his fourteen stone ass in the middle of what was supposed to be a semi-serious date.
The fact that Scott hadn't moved quickly enough and suddenly found himself wedged awkwardly in the ravine Virgil's weight had created in the sofa cushions wasn't helping matters.
Just like the sky was blue and the grass green, Virgil Tracy had always been big. He'd been a solid teenager, a trait that had followed him into adulthood, and had bulked up long before Scott had. He couldn't help it, he was just stockier than the rest of his siblings. He'd been a stout toddler and a painfully large baby…
"No wonder they couldn't even get you with the forceps," Scott muttered, trying desperately to lever himself free without planting his feet on the floor, "Move, you giant lump!"
Virgil did no such thing. Aside from the fact that Scott had just insulted him, he was quite comfortable and in no mood to budge. Especially for a lying traitor.
Scott may have been the brother most likely to start a barfight, but Virgil was the brother most likely to win one.
Anyone who made the mistake of assuming that Virgil Tracy was peaceful down to the marrow of his bones was very wrong. Sure, his temper was three times as long as Scott's and twice as long as John's, but he still had his limits and wasn't afraid of deploying some of his bulk when something or someone needed reminding of their place…
…like a certain brother who thought it was okay to keep secrets.
"Where's Grandma?" Scott asked, hoping desperately for an intervention of the cookie burning kind, "I haven't seen her all day."
"Oh, we left her and Kip in Buenos Aires for a few days," Virgil replied, extending his arms in an exaggerated stretch and accidentally smacking Scott across the face in the process, "They wanted to go on a tour of the city today, so we sent them on the underground route."
Scott ceased rubbing his cheek, blue eyes squinted in confusion, "There is no underground route!"
"Yeah…" Virgil averted his gaze and coughed awkwardly, "They could be a while…"
Over by Scott's portrait, John and Alan had drawn thick dark eyebrows on each other's faces and were busy doing helium enhanced impressions of their eldest brother's favourite catchphrases:
"Thunderbirds are go!"
"We've got this!"
"See you in the sky!"
The scowl on the eldest Tracy's face contained enough ice to extinguish the sun. He may have temporarily lost the use of his feet, but his other reflexes were honed in ways none of his younger brothers could hope to match. All he needed was for Gordon to move six inches to his left…
"You know, I reckon you might be gay," Virgil declared, his expression thoughtful as he stuffed a couple of handfuls of Kayo's popcorn into his mouth.
The horror on Scott's face was something for the history books.
"Hear me out," Virgil ploughed on, oblivious to the grave he was rapidly digging for himself, "You've had girlfriends, but never anything properly serious, right? I mean, how many have there been over the years? Lilian, Savannah, Stella, Lisa, Madelyn, Hayley, Eloise…and yet I don't remember any of them lasting more than a month. Maybe two in Lisa's case, but I know that was only because you needed a plus one for Lady Penelope's garden party that summer."
Kayo could have sworn she felt the temperature in the room rise by several degrees.
"But it's okay," Virgil assured, winding his arm around Scott's shoulder and yanking him in close, "Because we don't keep secrets in this family. I know that if you had a big decision to make, you'd come and speak to me about it first, right?"
Scott cringed as Virgil tightened the grip he had on his acromion. Something was up, and the engineer was obviously trying (in his own clumsy way) to unearth evidence that he could weaponise and use against his former partner in crime.
This would have been all good and well, except Scott hadn't the faintest idea as to what could have possibly motivated his brothers to behave so appallingly.
For the first time in his life, he was utterly clueless.
'What have I done?'
