CHAPTER 68:
First step
He's crying.
The noise was low, but not enough to miss the sobs —very distinctive sobs that Jay couldn't forget, even if he'd only heard them one time before. He opened door after door, being met with different rooms that only shared one trait; they were all vacant.
Where was that boy though? Jay just couldn't pinpoint the exact location of the whines, sometimes they resonated towards his left, sometimes forward, sometimes on his back.
As he ran through the corridor, he caught a glimpse of something shining on one of the doors. Even though the cries didn't sound any louder, Jay knew this was the place he was looking for. But there, next to the edge of the wooden board, was a lock he couldn't open.
Why was this happening to him now? Nobody said he would need a damn key!
No, it's not a key…
Jay inspected the lock a second time, a perfectly round hole in the center, waiting for the piece that would unlock its mechanism. Jay reached instinctively for his chest, grasping the charm and connecting two plus two inside his brain, he pulled the necklace over his head and shoved the harmony ball into the lock. The bolt clicked and Jay pushed the door open fast, his face losing all color as he stared at the scene before him.
Kai sat on his throne, unmoving —and dozens of dark ghostly arms wrapped around his body, keeping him pinned to the seat. Although his eyes were closed, Jay could sense the discomfort in the Maharaja's face, the pain that those monsters were distributing through his soul was eating him up from the inside.
"Kai!" Jay shouted, ready to leap forward and get the boy out of the supernatural shackles, but something pulled him back by the wrists. He struggled against the grip but the restraints wouldn't give up. "Kai, hold on! I'm going to get you out of there! Kai!"
"He can't hear you…" A voice echoed, freezing Jay to his very bones. He looked in every direction but couldn't see anyone, just darkness and demonical limbs. "He will never hear anything again… Only his own screams…" The non-corporeal being murmured again.
Jay pulled at the chains with more force, calling out for Kai.
"It's useless…" He was told yet anew.
The boy shook his head. Why was this happening to them? Why was Kai being tortured and Jay being obliged to watch the poor guy?
"You made him like this…"
"Uh?" Jay's head snapped up, eyes zeroing on the king before him.
"You broke him forever."
"No…"
"He will be forever trapped in his own mind."
"No!" Jay yelled as tears blurred his vision. "No! Let me talk to him, please! I need to tell him-"
"Too late…"
On cue, Kai let out a wail that pierced Jay's heart. The vines seemed to be trespassing his royal clothes, reaching deeper under his skin. Kai cried with terror, rivers of black paint streamed down his cheeks.
"Kai!" Jay yelled and squirmed. Effectively, the brunet seemed unable to hear him. Nothing Jay shouted seemed to reach the boy's ears, he couldn't run to him either, he couldn't touch him nor get in contact with the sovereign in any way. Jay was stuck there, just watching Kai suffer for his fault, being consumed by the nightmares and traumas he had originated with his stupid actions.
You can't allow it! Don't just stare and leave him like this! He's in pain!
Jay's chest got compressed every time Kai howled louder, his cries echoing all around the room, pushing Jay's mind to its limits. He'd rather die before listen to one more minute of this torture.
That's it.
"Take me in his place!" Jay shouted into the putrid air. "Please, let him go! Don't hurt him anymore!"
The invisible entity that seemed in charge of this whole torment took its time to manifest again in that grotesque voice of them.
"Are you sure?" They asked Jay.
"Yes!"
"He will never know it was you…"
"I don't care!"
As long as Kai is safe and happy, I don't care what's of me.
Another cry reverberated all over the walls.
"Just stop it!" Jay screamed at the top of his lungs before all air was stolen from him and his head fell forward.
Silence overtook, then steps tapped around him, a set of three different voices calling out Kai's name. With little to no energy left in his body, Jay managed to spot Cole, Zane, and Lloyd surrounding the Maharaja, hugging him and giving him hundreds of kisses.
"It's okay, baby. We're here, you're with us. You're fine," Cole shushed his whimpering husband while Zane patted his head and Lloyd kissed his hands. Kai let himself be taken in Cole's arms, a little smile appearing amidst the tears. The four guys moved away, smooches and cuddles fading into the silence.
Without offering any resistance, Jay was laid down, over an uncomfortable grassy ground. His eyes closed, but he could feel the tormentor's presence looming over him.
"Remember; you chose this."
Jay nodded, choking on a sob. Little by little, everything faded and Jay felt more and more aware of the ghastly limbs that caressed his body, at first with a gentle and teasing touch, but it soon evolved into needles that punctured his heart. He let out a silent cry and tried to sink into the reassurance that every stab that went straight to his chest would allow Kai and his family to live a happy life.
••••••••••••
The darkness dissolved as Jay's eyelashes trembled with lethargy, bits of a golden and pink light filtered through them. A tiny hum vibrated in his throat, and before he could fully open his eyes he was already receiving signals that revealed the true nature of his surroundings.
"Jaybird." His mother's voice sounded, accompanied by a gentle hand that combed his wet bangs. The scent of herbs was strong in her fingers.
"Mom…" Jay murmured, eyes finally open and focused enough to see the beautiful lady that had given him birth.
"How are you feeling, honey?"
Feeling? Why was Edna asking him that? Jay tried to sit up, but the most subtle shift made his head spin and hurt. The pain served as a reminder for the boy, revealing that he had already woken up that day, with a way worse headache if that was even possible.
"Shhh, it's okay, don't move," Edna coddled. "I guess that answers it."
Against his mother's wishes, Jay propped up on his elbows and leaned his head on the wall. He felt so weak, tired as if he'd been chased for hours by an angry animal, and with a dull pounding on the side of his skull.
"W-What…?" He asked a bit confused yet.
"You had quite a fever this morning. I think you might have caught something. I've told you many times that you have to dry out the sweat before it cools on your skin." The woman scolded with fondness.
"This… morning?" Jay's eyes darted to the window and opened with surprise at the dim warm glow that came through it. The sun was setting already?! No way he could have spent a whole day sleeping!
Right then, a familiar figure crossed the threshold. Jay's dad beamed as their gazes locked.
"Son, you're finally awake!" Ed walked up to them and sat down with his wife, next to the boy. "How are you doing?"
Jay held his head, massaging the aching spot a little above the ear. "M-My head hurts."
"Let me get you more herbs," Edna said, but her husband stopped her.
"I'll do that, darling." Jay's father took a bowl that was resting next to them, refilled it with the dirty green liquid, and handed it to her wife who then approached it to Jay's lips.
"Mom, I can do it. I'm not a baby anymore," he said, taking the bowl in his hands.
"You're still just as cute though," Edna giggled, brushing a hand on her son's cheek.
A little smile stretched Jay's lips, memories of his childhood flooded his mind as the aroma of the medicine before he brought him back to those times when he fell sick and Edna would tend to him day and night without a rest. Jay shook his head softly and sipped from the preparation, the flavor still made him grimace after all these years.
"You gave us quite the scare, son. You should have told us you weren't feeling well." Ed's eyebrows furrowed with concern as he stared at Jay.
"I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well..."
You didn't sleep at all. Period.
"Were you cold, honey? Nightmares again?" Edna grabbed his hand.
"No, no… I just… couldn't sleep." Jay's voice losing volume as he looked away from his parents, trying to cover the real reasons behind his insomnia.
"Jay…" Edna said after a silent moment. "Honey, is something wrong?" The boy looked up into her eyes, surprised and anxious. "You don't seem yourself lately. You barely talk and… you seem more distracted than usual, and nervous. Did something happen?"
Jay knew the worst thing he could do at that right time was to tense, but it didn't matter what he knew or not, his body reacted on its own. The shakes, although subtle, were returning.
"No, I'm… I'm fine, mom. Just… tired, I guess…" He mumbled, unconsciously shying away from the woman's touch and trying to hide his eyes in the messy bangs that covered a part of his face.
The married couple exchanged glances, Ed put a hand on Jay's leg. "Son, we're worried about you. We've never seen you so passionless, so out of yourself."
Jay was defenseless against the tender attack, his parents were not buying his crappy excuses anymore. If that kept up, their health would be compromised too, and despite Ed and Edna assuring they still had many years left ahead of them, Jay couldn't help but feel like he was robbing them of precious time in a way.
His heart was reaching its limits, the emotions swelling inside conjured tears to his eyes, which Jay tried to cover regardless of how pointless that action was.
"Jaybird…?"
The boy turned his head away before Edna could caress his cheek.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," he whispered, feeling hiccups threatening his throat. "I… I…" Jay blabbed as his brain struggled to find any new justification to his odd behavior during the last weeks. In the end, the cells gave up. "I can't anymore…"
Knees bent up and Jay hugged them close to his chest, curling into a ball to hide the tears that were running down his face.
"Dear, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Edna tried to hug him.
"I can't anymore," Jay just repeated.
I can't with this pain, I can't with the lies, I can't with this guilt.
The pounding returned a lot more intense, Jay just couldn't calm down. He'd tossed and turned all night thinking about himself, about who he was, about Kai and the others, and the beautiful thing they all have had at some point but Jay had been too much of a chicken to let into his heart. He couldn't go on like this, he would faint again if he tried to swallow all these feelings again, the pressure would literally kill him at this rate.
Arms were around him pulling Jay into a warm chest that smelled of the herbs mix he'd just had. The tenderness of his mother's embrace and sweet words destroyed Jay's defenses completely, he exploded into a fit of sobs. Another pair of hands rubbed on his back, Ed's voice joined his wife's endearment.
Jay was scared, much more than when he was kidnapped, much more than when he found himself thrown into the palace dungeon, because this wasn't just about his safety anymore, he could ruin his parents' lives too if he… If he...
If you just accepted who you truly are.
"That's it, baby boy; in and out, in and out," Edna chanted to guide Jay's respirations. "What's wrong, sweetie? Tell us, we'll do anything that is in our hands to help you."
You can't, Jay told her silently. The boy puffed, his breath exploding violently against the woman's chest, mind running wild with the anxiety that anticipated a vital decision he was sure he would regret, but it was either that… or having his heart stop from denying the organ what it felt.
"I've... fallen in love... with Kai." The words that had been hiding in the darkest nooks of Jay's thoughts finally spilled out of his lips, shaky and fearful, like a baby taking their first steps.
