The Fate of the First Hero of Light
My name is Claurilles Descarte Oddmund of House Dominitus also previously known as Geir Warchief of the Tulok.
It has been 20 suncycles since I have been chosen to lead the Kingdom.
I am the King of Hyrule.
Through many wars and tribulations we have united the nations surrounding around us.
The Capitol has turned into a trading hub so large, every nation on the continent of Aucigux, has opened a consulate to negotiate business and political matters with our nations representatives.
My previous party's members have each gone their separate way.
The Fire Mag... I mean Sir Izdryn has returned to his homelands and is building a better future for his nation. He married and fathered 10 young ones. We have both been so busy I have not seen him in many suncycles. Will I be able to recognize him?
The Knigh...I mean Sir Hunfrey could not accept me as the new King. He refused to obey my orders as he believed me to be evil incarnate. The Royal Advisors stripped him of his Knighthood. Having only known the Order of Knights since young, he could find no other place of employment. He lives in poverty now. He has made a street corner his home and begs daily. I send my servants to secretly pay him, so that he should not expire.
Zeld...I mean Zeldany the Kind the previous Queen, is now a nun in a distant cloister. One day she looked at her hands and realized the godawful mouths on them, was the work of the devil himself. She spends her days repenting to the Holy Mother that she will undo the curse placed upon her.
Esdeat... I mean my Grandmother is now a qualified mental health professional. After her years of tortures and brutalities, she once awoke at night. There was a holy light shining upon her. She saw the figure of my grandfather he spoke to her and reprimanded her for her wicked ways. When she stood up she had been cured of the evil spell, the enemies of my Tribe had cast upon her hundreds of times.
The jester of House Dominitus...I mean my eldest cousin Estonix slip and fell on a soap bar while exiting the bath.
He had seen one of the maid's uniforms buttons had been missing. His disturbed and demented mind compelling him to indecently attack any female when only slightly aroused.
My Ancient Ancestors protected Edith and the other maids from his degeneracy. When he fell he hit his head on one of the porcelains inside the wash room. He was thrown of balance and fell head first into a faulty lavatory. The Royal pipes men had worked all day, the many contents of the blocked seat been fired constantly into his face and mouth.
He was rescued but the damage was done. His neck had been broken he could never walk again.
It was decided euthanasia was the only option.
Everyone that knows him was brought together to celebrate this joyous moment...I mean mourn this tragedy that befell the Kingdom and House Dominitus.
As I was the King, I would handle this important task...I mean unfortunate disaster.
The finest pillow of feathers made from a distant lands bird was given to me. It was chosen because of the softness of the feathers, also the feathers are fine, much air can still pass through them. When I placed the cushion over his face for the last time. Two tears of happiness rolled down my cheek.
The thought of not having to suffer his foolishness anymor...I mean sadness at such a great loss. Estonix was a very strong man. He suffered for many long moments rolling violently about till finally I broke his neck. Grabbing him through the cushion with my hand and snapping it.
The Dark Elf and myself have many blue children. I finally broke through her impossible sexual desires. I can for the first time in our marriage sleep for many moments at night. The days of climbing the unsurmountable mountain that is my wife's libido, after finally satisfying her, only to be able to rest short moments before the sun starts to shine. Are a thing of the past.
The Mighty Dwarven Warrior Uncle Thandall has moved into the castle, we spend much time together.
My little girl Loreleia stays in my world and time. I can protect her from the filthy degenerates that would want to harm her or besmear her honour.
My beloved Mother had learned from her mistakes, she finally chased my Father and my useless brother away. They stay in a distant land. My sister does not bellow constantly anymore. Finally she can speak like a normal person again.
The Dark Elves of the Spirit Eye Woods...I mean my Dark Elven family have learned to be less useless than what they were. They could face an adversary without being totally annihilated.
The Kingdom is now at peace but soon we will move to...
"GEIR!"
"Vivi!"
"YOU ARE SPEAKING WITH YOUR INSIDE VOICE ALOUD!"
"Oh...what did you hear?"
"KING GEIR YOU FIEND! WHAT IS THIS? YOUR DREAM IS THAT I SHOULD STAY ON THE STREET AND IN POVERTY!" screams the Knight.
"I BECOME A NUN? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HANDS!" screams Zelda.
"Thank you King Geir." says the Fire Mage.
"MY FRIEND!" "Sir Izdryn?"
"The King wishes for my success!" says the Fire Mage
"Why is Sir Izdryn the only one that gets a good story!" screams Zelda.
My Grandmother burst into tears "TATSUMI! Will you come to visit me soon!"
"Claurilles is that what you wish for me? Seems the curses we had cast, had not been strong enough!" screams Estonix.
"Hahahahahahaha" Uncle Thandall lets out a hearty laugh "Thank you Geir son! Do not worry I won't let you feel lonely!"
"Claurilles my beautiful boy! You are such a naughty one! Do not say ugly things of your Father and brother." My Mother runs towards me and embraces me tightly.
"GEIR!" my blue wife hits me on the back of the head. Her face is purple blushing out of embarrassment.
"Well forget about all that."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" screams Zelda.
"How many suncycles has it been?"
"You have not even been King for a full mooncycle and you are already preparing plans for our misery!" screams Zelda.
"What were we doing?" "Don't ignore me!"
"KING GEIR WE WERE MAKING PLANS TO FIGHT THE SOUTH WESTERN KINGDOM!"
"Yes, you are right. We will need money for this campaign."
"Geir but you already sold most of the Castles treasures!"
"Minister of Foreign affairs Zelda you are correct!"
"Geir do I really have to be a Minister?"
"If I die you can just be promoted and become the next leader again. Also we can talk like normal people again without formalities."
"King Geir are you sure?" says the Fire Mage.
"I am the Minister of Arts and Culture. What does that even mean?"
"Minister Fire Mage you are the only one of us that comes from a different nation than us, who is not totally inept. You have travelled much before joining us on our quests. I can expect you to enrich the country with your experiences?"
"Yes, King Geir." he looks downwards while smiling.
"I AM THE HEAD OF SAFETY AND WORK PLACE REGULATIONS? HOW DOES THAT PERTAIN TO ME BEING A ROYAL KNIGHT!"
"Your father is the legendary mason Emmot Hammerspine."
"HAMMERSPINE!? SON IS THAT TRUE?!" screams Uncle Thandall.
"SIR THANDALL, THE NAME HAMMERSPINE PAPPY ONCE TOLD ME SOMETHING OF THE SORT WHEN I WAS BUT A STRIPLING!"
"He was one of the three legendary builders who build the Dwarven realms unbreakable foundations."
"Geir son but that was only a legend! Sir Hunfrey is defintely a Hume."
"He is only Half Hume his mother was a Hume but his father was a Dwarf. That is why he has such immense strength."
"KING GEIR WHAT LIES ARE YOU SPREADING NOW?!"
"Uncle Thandall look closer at him."
The Dwarven Warrior studies the embarrassed Knight. He asks him to move his arms and legs. He is doing various poses. The Dwarf reaches in his pocket he produces a device not from this world.
"Son please hold your hand out." The Knight removes his gauntlet and extends his massive hands. The device makes a chime.
"UNBELIEVABLE SON! It is really true he is half Dwarf!"
"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN KING GEIR?"
"While being a protector of the Kingdom you will also be the heir of the Hammerspine name."
"KING GEIR..."
"LADY VIVILARA WHA... I am sorry I forgot we had betrayed you."
The Dark Elf approaches the Knight
"Sir Hunfrey..."
The Knight collapses she holds him.
"Do not worry Sir Hunfrey I will still beat you and Sir Izdryn at a later date."
Everyone in the room that has faced her wrath before flinches.
"Getting back to our financial woes."
"Geir how will we solve this?"
I hand each of my party members black cloaks with the nations Triforce logo on them.
"What is this King Geir?"
"Sir Gerrick get dressed."
We wear our black cloaks you can only see the top parts of our heads. The face below eye level is hidden. The cloaks hang loosely. You cannot see where the arms are.
"NOOOO, GEIR WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO THIS TIME?!" screams the face hidden Zelda.
"Zelda you and Sir Gerrick are going to destroy these buildings."
"Grandmother and Fire Mage here is a list go and kill these people."
"Vivi and Knight go intimidate these people make them comply with my stipulations."
"At once King Geir I will fetch the explosive tags and other resources." says the Knight Sir Gerrick.
"WHAT BLOW UP BUILDINGS? I KNOW SOME OF THESE STRUCTURES, THIS ONE IS A GREAT BRIDGE!"
"I understand Geir let us leave Sir Izdryn."
"Princess Teela some of these are well known people!"
"Sir Hunfrey let us leave." says the Dark Elf.
"KING GEIR EVEN IF YOU ARE THE CURRENT RULER. I STILL HAVE TO ABIDE BY MY KNIGHTLY CODE!"
"SHUT UP! DO AS YOU ARE TOLD OR DO YOU WANT OUR KINGDOM TO BE DESTROYED?"
"..."
I sigh deeply
"None of these structures or people. Are related to our Kingdom, the Dwarven Realm, Fire Mage's Clans or Zelda's Land's peoples."
"STILL GEIR THIS IS NOT JUST!"
"Vivi is going to do the intimidation. You are only accompanying her so that you not constantly pester me over her safety. Gerrick is my number one man. Zelda is safe with him."
"King Geir do you really expect me to murder innocent people?"
"Fire Mage look at the bounties on those peoples heads."
"250,000 rupees! This man is a known entertainer! How is this possible?"
"He enjoys the company of the little ones."
The Fire Mages face hardens "I see King Geir a person as thorough as yourself. Would never make mistakes regarding these matters. Princess Teela let us leave." "Yes, Sir Izdryn."
"NO, MY FRIEND WHY?" the Fire Mage hands the Knight the book of bounties. "Sir Hunfrey look at these people. What crimes they could have committed will instantly be clear when you see them."SIR IZDRYN HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH...I SEE IT WOULD BE EASY FOR THESE PEOPLE TO PREY ON THE INNOCENTS THEY ARE TASKED TO PROTECT. STILL KING GEIR EVEN IF HER LADYSHIP WILL HAND OUT THE PUNISHMENTS WHY AM I NEEDED?"
"The threat of violence is sometimes greater than the act of violence itself. You standing there glaring at the person will have a greater effect than if Vivi was beating them."
"KING GEIR I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?"
"When you were told to wait for your punishment from your parents. What was worse, waiting to receive the punishment or the punishment itself?"
"YES, I SEE WHEN PAPPY TOLD ME HE WOULD DISCIPLINE ME. THE WAIT WAS THE WORST! LET US DEPART LADY VIVILARA!"
"WAIT WHAT ABOUT ME?! THESE BUILDINGS ARE THEY BEING USED FOR EVIL MEANS!?" screams a desperate Zelda.
"No, Zelda I bought some of those and took out insurance on them."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? ARE WE COMMITING INSURANCE FRAUD?!"
"No, Zelda these are structures of great strategic value. If the bridges are destroyed it will give us some time before our enemies strike. The other structures were strongholds that were converted to have different functions. When the war starts they will be used again as defenses."
"WAR?!" screams everyone.
"Yes, in four suncycles the nations surrounding us will wage a war against the Kingdom, Tulok Tribe and the Dwarven Realm.
"King Geir please explain!" screams the Fire Mage.
"With our recent exploits we have caused much misery in the countries surrounding ours. The people want revenge."
"How did we cause misery?"
"When we saved our people we caused much suffering."
"THE FIENDS DESERVED PUNISHMENT FOR ATTACKING OUR NATION!"
The western countries sultan invaded us. The other countries did not do anything to us."
'...'
"Yes, maybe we went too far." says the Fire Mage.
"What of the other countries Geir?" says Zelda.
"It has been many suncycles now that I have been winning all their business contracts for the Tulok Tribe and the Dwarven Realm. Some areas are so desperate for any opportunities they would do anything to cut out their greatest competitor namely us."
"Can we not let them have some of our business..."
The Dwarven Warrior and myself glare at the little girl, a Dwarf will never give even the last sliver of a rupee to a competitor.
"NO, THAT WOULD BE VERY FOOLISH INDEED! SIR GERRICK LET US LEAVE!" "Yes, Minister."
"King Geir we all have the same attire. What ridiculous name have you thought out for us?" asks the Fire Mage.
"We are the Hyrulakatsuki."
"WHAT?!"
I close my cloak and move to exit the throne room.
"Gerrick, Zelda, Fire Mage, Grandmother, Knight and Vivi
Each of you has your own agenda and your own dreams...
We have finally come this far...
And now, at last, we will move into full-scale action.
Our targets are all the tailed beasts from the one tails to the nine tails
The opponents are strong but we will gather all the tailed beasts
and bring the great ambition of the Hyrulakatsuki to fruition
We seven shall accomplish this
And understand this: Failure is not an option"
"TAILED BEASTS?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING GEIR?!"
"Tailed Beasts? Zelda are your ears full of wax?"
"YOUR MAJESTY WHAT IS WRONG? KING GEIR TOLD US WE HAVE TO COMPLETE OUR TASKS FROM THE FIRST ONE TO THE LAST ONE!"
"Is that true Teela?"
"Yes, Zelda it is true." says my Grandmother.
I look backwards and fling my cloak dramatically. I start moving towards the exit. "The King is so mesmerizing!" says the young maid.
"Let's go..."
Finish.
