Chapter 99.

Scott could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he'd been away from all four of his brothers at once.

The Big Row of 2054 and The Big Disagreement of 2057 were the only two times he could call to mind. Both had ended with him fleeing the island in Thunderbird One for the sake of his sanity. Of course, his brothers had pursued him, but he'd managed to evade and outsmart them on both occasions.

He wasn't sure his luck would hold out a third time.

He'd been a jittery mess for the first half hour, much to Kayo's frustration. He hadn't torn his eyes off the door once, and had nearly suffered cardiac arrest when a low-flying jet had blasted overhead, convinced it was Thunderbird Two landing on the roof.

It had taken a bottle of ridiculously expensive wine and several attempts at conversation from Kayo for him to relax. Slowly but surely, he'd weaned his gaze off the door and begun to enjoy himself. He still twitched every time someone with ginger hair walked past outside, but knew in his heart of hearts that he was overacting.

If his brothers were going to gatecrash, they'd have surely done it by now.

Cheers erupted around the room as a marriage proposal was made and accepted several tables southwest of Scott and Kayo's position. The eldest Tracy smiled as the new bride-to-be squealed excitedly over the size of the rock on her finger.

Which reminded him…

"Would you excuse me for ten minutes?" Scott asked, standing up, "I'm just going to nip outside and give Grandma a call. I told her I'd pick her and Kip up when they've finished in Buenos Aires."

Kayo nodded around a mouthful of Lyonnaise salad, "Go for it. Tell her I say hi."

"F.A.B," Scott replied, zipping out the door before questions could be asked. The jeweller he wanted to speak to closed in forty minutes, and he had no intention of leaving Paris without certain answers to certain questions.

A brisk jog down the boulevard, a momentary pause at some traffic lights, and Scott was at his destination. A quick flash of his ID and the security guard on the door swiftly stepped aside. No sooner had the eldest Tracy set foot on the immaculate marble floor, than a woman wearing far too much silk scurried out, her eyes comically magnified by the red-rimmed designer glasses perched atop her nose.

Pleasantries were exchanged (per iR protocol) before Scott got down to business. Not giving his own rusty French skills the chance to see the light of day, he laid out his request in slow, slightly exaggerated English.

"I've got a situation that I'm hoping you can help me with. It's very personal and I can't afford for it to go wrong. Money is no obstacle."

-x-

Despite Scott's claim of 'nipping' outside, Kayo was still very much alone thirty minutes later.

She'd given up on waiting after the desserts had been delivered (it was Paris for crying out loud), and was happily scrolling through her phone when the table to her immediate right was suddenly claimed.

A quick visual sweep of her new neighbours (security threats were still a thing, even when she was off duty) and Kayo returned to stuffing her face and checking her emails. A family. Four individuals. A disabled grandfather in a wheelchair. A husband wearing too much yellow. A wife with sunglasses that obscured ninety percent of her face. A pre-teen who had the hood of his jumper up and probably had a cell waiting for him in the local jail.

Nothing for her to worry about.

-x-

Gordon had always prided himself on his ability to think outside the box.

Sure, he hadn't gone to college like his three older brothers, but he could still give them all a good run for their money in the intellect department. He just chose not to.

This however, was a moment he'd be reliving until the day he kicked the bucket.

"Menus!" the aquanaut ordered, groping for his own and elevating it so that his face was hidden from view, "Let's use the time it takes for ol' Scooter to return to devise a plan. Any suggestions on how best to play this?"

John snorted and readjusted the wig atop his head, "I've waited long enough for my revenge. Strategise all you want, but I'm striking the minute his butt is reunited with his chair."

Gordon quirked a brow in silent amusement, "That's cute Johnny, but you wouldn't even be in here if it wasn't for me. We do this my way, or else I'm asking for a divorce."

The redhead snarled like a pissed off cat, but didn't elaborate on his unplanned plan any further. Gordon had dreamt up the disguises they were all wearing, and so far things seemed to be working in their favour. Virgil was masquerading as 'Lenny', the mute and dribbling grandfather of the group (the fake beard stuck to his chin did little to age him much beyond forty). Gordon was hiding behind a rather large fake moustache and was operating under the alias of 'George', the head of the 'family' he had created. John's somewhat curvy figure had won him the honour of playing 'Jemima', wife of 'George'. As if being fictionally married to his brother wasn't bad enough, the long blond wig and dark sunglasses he'd been forced to wear to conceal his iconic red hair and turquoise eyes had almost been enough to make him resign from iR on the spot.

Poor Alan had reluctantly been cast as 'Artie', the only child of 'George' and 'Jemima'. His backstory was more complex than all of the others put together. He was an exchange student studying at one of Paris's premier private schools, however had been hit by a bad bout of homesickness and demanded that his family all fly over from their home in rural Oklahoma to offer emotional support. Unfortunately, Lenny was suffering from delayed PTSD, brought about by the Global Conflict of 2040, and spent most of his time in a semi-conscious stupor. He relied on the kind heart of his daughter-in-law, however a scandalous affair had pushed George and Jemima's marriage onto the rocks, leaving them torn over whether or not to inform their son before they departed for home, at the fifth hour on the tenth day of the next lunar cycle…

"Gordon!" John snapped, cutting across his brother's monologue before he could plan a ten-part series, "Focus! What's Kayo's status?"

"Pig-like," the aquanaut replied, peeking over the edge of his menu before browsing the specials column, "Oh! They have oysters!"

The redhead rolled his eyes and lowered his own menu to inspect Gordon's claim. Indeed, Kayo seemed to have mowed her way through three different desserts, if the empty plates scattered across her half of the table were anything to go by. Maybe it was that time of the month. Maybe she was just really hungry. Or maybe she was trying to drown out the despair she was experiencing over Scott's ongoing absence with chocolate and sorbet.

"He's been gone for ages," John muttered, cringing slightly when Virgil lapped at the water Gordon was offering him like a dog with a numb tongue, "Where could he be?"

"Bathroom would be my guess," Gordon chirped, his caramel eyes now scanning the list of starter dishes, "I told him this would happen if he didn't start chewing his food properly."

John was about to slam a lid on the aquanaut's wisecracks, but was forced to take cover behind his menu when Scott blasted across the room in a cloud of cologne and threw himself into the vacant seat opposite Kayo, his face flushed as if he'd been running.

"Psst, Johnny!" Gordon hissed, gagging slightly when one end of his moustache got caught in his mouth, "You up for sharing a cheese platter with me?"

The redhead shook his head as Scott breathlessly trotted out a line that had Kayo in hysterics.

"Stick a fork in me. I'm done."

-x-

"Sorry for the delay," Scott panted, swallowing and nearly choking on his tongue in the process, "Got held up. You know how that woman likes to talk."

Kayo quirked a brow, but didn't say anything. The years of training she'd undergone had bestowed upon her the gift of being able to smell when someone was lying.

"Anyway," Scott continued, his anxiety spiking when he clapped his eyes onto the unamused look on Kayo's face, "So sorry to have kept you. Have you ordered dessert yet?"

Thunderbird Shadow's pilot motioned to the three empty plates in front of her, smirking inwardly when Scott's expression shifted from 'shit', to 'double shit'.

A beat of silence passed.

"I'm just delaying the inevitable," Scott muttered, drawing himself up and wiping the guilt off his face, "Kayo, you probably know where I was and what I was doing. I'm sorry for messing you about, but there are times when a man has to protect his pride. I've grown up with four brothers, so have very little of that left, as you no doubt know."

The brow quirk intensified.

"You know you're like the sister we never had," Scott carried on, suddenly finding it incredibly hard to maintain eye contact, "But to tell you the truth, I've not seen you as a sister for quite a while now. I know it may sound weird, but I find I just can't look at you in the same way that the others do."

Fifteen feet away, a still numb Virgil fell face-first into the plate of coq au vin that Gordon had unnecessarily ordered for him. Alan hissed in alarm and hastily lowered his menu, cringing as he fished the engineer's face out of his bowl with his fingertips.

"Menus!" John hissed, jerking his head frantically in Scott's direction, his expression demonic behind his sunglasses.

"I guess what I'm trying to say," Scott began haltingly, his nervous disposition as foreign to Kayo as the city they were in, "Is I have something important to ask you. I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me, as it could change everything. And not just for you and me, but for the entire family."

Kayo straightened her spine and leant in a bit closer, her brows softening, "Go on."

Gordon's eyes widened to the size of saucers as Scott dug around in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

"Kayo, will you-"

"NOOOO!"

Scott jumped clean out of his skin as a body suddenly crashed across the table he and Kayo were sat at, a blond wig flying off to reveal a head of sickeningly familiar ginger hair.

"Alan, find it!" John cried, ignoring Scott and Kayo's open-mouthed expressions as he leapt to stand atop the table, turquoise eyes scanning desperately for the offending velvet box.

The youngest Tracy was at his space brother's side in less than a second, his small frame coming in handy as he dropped onto his hands and knees and began to frantically crawl around on the floor. Kayo yelped and knocked over her wine when her feet were forcibly lifted off the ground as part of the search.

Gordon meanwhile, was having the time of his life, his fists thumping hysterically against the table as he struggled to draw air into his lungs. Living with a bunch of boring brothers was a pain in the ass for sure, but man it was worth it for moments like these.

Gordon's cackling only got louder as John ran down the table in pursuit of the elusive ring, food items flying here, there, and everywhere.

"Damnit!" the redhead wailed, "Alan…I've lost it!"

A 'crunch' sounded as the youngest Tracy smacked his head against the underside of the table, his attempt at premature ascension failing miserably. Gordon's laughter intensified for a second, however quickly subsided when Virgil took another dive into his dinner.

In all the commotion, nobody noticed Scott and Kayo making a beeline for the door.

"Oh no you don't!" Gordon cried, releasing his grip on the back of Virgil's head and launching himself at Scott's retreating form. A brief scuffle ensued, broken by a surprised shriek from a nearby waiter and the sound of a glass shattering as Gordon's foot came into contact with the leg of the drink's table.

Kayo's attempt at intervention was halted by the aquanaut acquiring a white-knuckled grip on the belt of Scott's trousers.

"Nobody move!" Gordon ordered, "Or we'll all be treated a full moon on this rather glorious evening."

Several nearby guests murmured urgently, confused by the behaviour of the strange Americans in front of them.

Scott felt himself begin to sweat as he calculated the likelihood of Gordon following his threat though. The aquanaut was easily the most childish member of the family, and had pulled jokes of similar immaturity before. There has been the Thanksgiving incident with Virgil and the saran wrapped toilet seat, not to mention the Easter fiasco with Alan and the aftershave soaked toilet roll. Scott had managed to evade all such traps to date, courtesy of his natural brotherly intuition and quick feet. While the former had faith in the basic empathy all humans (including Gordon) possessed, the latter was screaming at him to get as far away as he could, as fast as he could.

His feet, though still sore, were pretty much healed, and the adrenalin in his system was rapidly dulling any lingering pain…

Thump.

It was a rather cross-eyed Gordon that slumped sideways onto the floor, his eyes watering with pain as Scott delivered a well-timed knee to his groin. John, who was busy acting as a human shield between his eldest brother and the door, gasped in horror and hastily knelt down to check the status of his younger brother.

Spying his opportunity to escape, Scott leapt over the writhing aquanaut with the grace of a slightly lame gazelle and bolted towards the door leading to the kitchen, running clean over his youngest brother in the process.

Sadly, for a Tracy as short as Alan, one tended to find the art of intimidation decidedly more difficult to master. His rather unfortunate height also afforded him the irritation of constantly being run over by stampeding brothers who (apparently) couldn't see him at all.

The youngest Tracy knew all too well what roadkill felt like.

"After him!" Gordon wheezed, coughing slightly when a fresh wave of pain engulfed him. If his next physical deemed him infertile, Scott would be getting the legal bill for whichever lucky child the aquanaut decided to adopt.

Pots and pans went flying and a couple of expensive looking plates were dropped as Scott and Kayo barrelled through the kitchen at breakneck speed. An unfortunate collision between Kayo and a rather skinny waiter saw a bowl of soup take to the sky.

"Sorry!" Kayo yelled over her shoulder, following Scott through some PVC curtains and out onto the street.

A fresh round of shrieks and shatters resonated throughout the kitchen as John and Alan blasted through. No prisoners were taken as brothers three and five mimicked the path Scott and Kayo had taken, their failure to collide with a waiter offering them a significant gain on the backsides of their retreating targets.

"Run!" Scott roared, chancing a glance over his shoulder and instantly wishing he hadn't. He'd been right about the adrenalin numbing the pain in his feet, but what he hadn't counted on was the sheer speed both his space brothers were deploying. Alan's legs were short and John possessed all the coordination of a drunk giraffe, yet both astronauts were firmly on his tail, the sound of their feet pounding against the concrete conjuring up images of a wildebeest stampede inside Scott's head.

Thankfully, Kayo was one step ahead, her fingers flying across her comm gauntlet as she called Thunderbird One in for a remote pickup.

John and Alan could only watch in breathless horror as the big silver rocket climbed heroically over the rooftops of Paris, her pilot's chair descending in preparation for Scott's rather ungainly entry. Kayo, it appeared, had left most of her dignity (as well as her purse) at their table, for it was without a shred of grace that she boldly flung herself across Scott's lap as the pilot's chair retracted back inside the belly of the high-speed reconnaissance craft.

"NO!" John cried, dropping to his knees as he and Alan were blasted backwards by the force of One's thrusters. By the time Gordon wheeled onto the scene with a sobered up Virgil two minutes later, the dim echo from the VTOL jets of their eldest brother's 'Bird was all that remained.

"That's it, there's no coming back from this," John simmered, his head tucked between his knees as he struggled to catch his breath, "I can't believe he's serious about going through with this. What if we hadn't of been there? We could have a new sister-in-law, and not even know about it!"

Gordon nodded in furious agreement, however seemed more preoccupied with ensuring that the doggy bag in his hand was still securely packaged. He fully intended to employ the fact that he was the one who'd gotten John and Alan into the restaurant as a sword of Damocles, however decided to hold off until they'd finished re-oxygenating their brains, "At least we didn't have to pay for anything."

Virgil meanwhile, was glaring at the sky with enough ferocity to make even Havoc twitch. The tranquiliser Scott had given him appeared to be wearing off, and he'd finally regained the ability to speak clearly.

"Time to pull out the big guns."