Author's note: trigger warning for weight related issues. Also, again, unfortunately have to rely on google translate for the Welsh.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Remus woke up exhausted on Friday morning; he immediately rolled over and buried himself under his pillow until he remembered the previous full moon. When he had missed class after falling back asleep. Swearing, he forced himself out of bed and promptly tripped over his own slippers. Spinnet laughed. Sirius glared at Spinnet as he helped Remus up.

"You all right?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Remus promised he was, then got his stuff to get ready for the day. In the bathroom he saw he didn't look great, however he didn't look anywhere near as bad as he did the previous month. It'd be nice to see his friends during the day… but he would once again use his mother as an excuse.

At breakfast, everyone was talking about the Hufflepuff-Slytherin game which was the next day, and Remus was glad he wouldn't be around for the usual pre-game loud chatter that happened the morning of the game. Though, I have the earplugs now, he reminded himself, a small smile spreading across his face. The smile faded when he realized James's next game was on a full moon. Hopefully I can see it all, he thought, taking a bite of Finnan haddie. He had a lot piled on his plate, not overly hungry but knowing he needed the energy for later. He needed to get better at taking care of himself.

"How long do Quidditch games usually last?" Remus asked after swallowing.

"Hmmm?"

"Quidditch games. The school Quidditch games," Remus repeated himself. "How long do they usually last?"

"Eh? It really depends," James replied. "Why?"

"It wouldn't last past four, would it?"

"Four?" James was staring at Remus now. "It... might. It depends. The Slytherins cut the game short with Ravenclaw, so I'm not sure what they're planning tomorrow—"

"I meant, your game next month," Remus clarified.

James shrugged at that. "I really can't say. We didn't get to really see Ravenclaw play. It really depends on how well, and how quickly, we score; their Keeper and reserve Keeper are both pretty good—actually, if you ask me, their reserve is a bit better but of course their current Keeper has been on the team for a couple years. They weren't gonna replace him." He stabbed a potato, shoving it in his mouth. "I expect it'll come down to the Seekers, and how tomorrow's game goes. We'll need to see how many points Slytherin and Hufflepuff get to try to figure out how many we should try to go for before Charmer gets the Snitch and—uhhhh, you all right?"

Remus blinked a few times. "Yeah," he lied. He had been sort've fading out as he failed to follow James.

"What's at four?" James asked.

"I—I'd have to leave by four," he whispered. "I'm hoping to be able to see your whole game."

"Why would you leave the game?"

"Same reason I'll be missing class today?" he said.

James frowned and then smacked his forehead. "I wasn't thinking about next month. Sorry, buddy."

"S'fine. Hopefully I'll be able to see all of it." Remus returned to eating, feeling a bit silly for bringing it up; it was a month away. They didn't need to worry about it for a while.

I'll be thirteen, he realized, chewing at the fish as he stared at the ceiling. Ooh, that was so hard to believe. Wonder what it will be like... He knew, of course, from Sirius and Peter (and Lily) nothing really changed. But it was the big ONE-THREE! He'd officially be a teenager! Regardless of anything else, that was a big step.

Then fourteen, then fifteen, sixteen, and then...

Remus swallowed.

Seventeen. An adult. He was only four years away from being an adult.

He glanced at his friends. At James urging Sirius, Sirius chugging juice, and Peter cheering him on. Wonder what they'll be like. He watched them as Sirius began choking and coughed the juice up all over his plate to a chorus of 'eeeeewwww!'s and laughter. Remus smiled, pulling his plate away from the puddle of spit and juice spreading across the tabletop.

"Damn," Sirius moaned, looking at the spreading wetness on his jumper, and the orange stains on the button-up.

It seemed so far away, yet so close. Remus was closer to being an adult than he was to when he was bitten. Soon it'll have been ten years since my bite. He shuddered, resisting the urge to touch his arm.

"Clasp the robes real tight," Peter suggested. "Maybe Sluggy won't notice."

"Brilliant idea, Petey my man!" Sirius quickly clasped his robes tight, hiding the stains. "Ta-da!"

"Yeah, it's not as if all the teachers saw what happened," Remus said sweetly.

"Or that the classroom gets really hot, depending on what we do," added James.

"I'll be fine," Sirius promised, although an hour later he was soaked in sweat, more than anyone else; Slughorn kept giving him looks however Sirius didn't take his robes off.

When they went into class, Remus noticed Snape watching him. He ducked his head, studiously avoiding Snape's gaze. He was way too tired to deal with the jerk, and hoped Snape wouldn't try anything else before he could get to Hogsmeade.

After class Lily approached Remus asking if he was all right since he didn't look great. The first thing that crossed his mind was he should tell Lily about what happened, about Snape threatening him—but he figured Lily wouldn't believe him. She trusted Snape for some reason. So then he turned his thoughts to the question, almost replying he had gotten a letter from his mother and he'd be going to see her later, however he managed to hold his tongue before he said anything stupid. The problem was, he'd be able to attend History class. Not Transfiguration. If he left at lunchtime—which would be the most logical—he'd have to miss History. Leaving between History and Transfiguration would be odd.

"Uh, y—yeah, I'm only a little tired," he said, hugging his satchel to his chest. "I was up late studying." Perhaps he could claim a prefect got him between classes? That would be difficult to finagle. He wasn't sure what to do. He really didn't want to be sick, he wanted to save his 'being sick' for when he looked it—and yeah, he did look it some at the moment, however nowhere near as bad as he did sometimes.

Ultimately, he waited till after History. Once Binns dismissed everyone, Remus went slow putting everything back in his bag, dawdling quite a bit until everyone besides the Marauders were gone. He felt completely exhausted by this point, dragging his feet as they left the classroom.

"Could you say a prefect found me and asked me to go see Professor Dumbledore?" Remus yawned.

"Yeah, we can do that," James promised.

"And not visit you," Sirius muttered very softly under his breath.

Remus pressed his lips thin, not responding to that. "All right, th—thank you. Oh! Here." He got into his bag, getting his History book out, handing it over to Peter. "I don't want to risk that. I'll see you Monday."

They each gave him a hug then headed off to Transfiguration, while Remus hurried to the hospital wing. He had repacked his bag during lunch so he had the box and a couple books with him. Although by the time he got to the hospital wing, to the tree, down the passage, and into the house then upstairs, he was way too tired to read. Nor did he have a lot of time before sunset. He packed everything away in the wardrobe along with his clothes, before scurrying down the stairs (always feeling awkward being in the nude) and diving onto Pete's blanket.

Better, he thought, wrapping the blanket around himself along with a very tattered additional blanket for slightly extra warmth that didn't really work.

/\/\/\/\/\

The howls became screams and soon he lay in a puddle of blood, panting for air. His body felt somewhat all right. He didn't realize the destruction until he pushed himself into a sitting position and opened his eyes. He was in the kitchen, and the table was practically in splinters. The legs were demolished while the tabletop was broken in four or five places. There was blood, fur, and flesh caught in broken pieces of wood, along with tooth and claw marks everywhere. He glanced down at his body. A slash across his thigh, a few small bite marks (small as in not deep; they were, technically, very large since as a wolf he had a very large mouth and very large teeth), and some scratches on his side. It seemed he took his anger out on the table. Or danced on it, it was difficult to tell really.

Grunting, he got to his feet, blood dripping down his leg. He left footprints along the floor as he limped to the bathroom, small bloodied footprints that felt too tiny to belong to the monster that destroyed the kitchen. He turned the shower on, intending to get one until remembering Pomfrey's words from last time. He watched the water go down the drain, debating whether or not to just get in. The warm water would feel so good...

With a sigh, he grabbed a towel and stuck it in the warm water in order to spot clean his wounds. He was still working on them when Pomfrey showed up.

"I'm glad to see that you listened to me," she said when she came into the bathroom.

Remus had already wrapped another towel around himself to hide his nudity. "I don't f-feel very clean," he mumbled.

"I'll get you cleaned up," she promised, and helped clean the wounds in order to wrap bandages around them. Once that was taken care of she got washcloths, cleaning off exposed parts of his arms, legs, back, and hair. She left him alone to take care of the bits under the towel and his face.

"Still don't feel clean," he said when she brought pajamas for him. He pulled the bottoms on, careful to get them over the bandage on his leg. "Um. M—Madame Pomfrey, I—I was wondering—"

"You still need to go back to the school," she said, not letting him finish.

Remus winced. "I understand. The—the only thing is, it's a Q—Quidditch game today. I know the wing can be, um, can be busy on Quidditch days and—and well, I thought it might be easier for you if I stay here. That way you can focus on the—on anyone else needing aid. I'm—I'm all right."

Pomfrey smiled as she handed him the pajama top. "Nice try, Remus; you're coming back with me."

/\/\/\/\/\

Remus wasn't sure if it was because his injuries weren't extensive or because of spot cleaning instead of a shower, but he didn't feel quite as exhausted as he normally did. He was still very tired, and fell asleep almost right after he had the chocolate shake from Pomfrey. However, when he woke up an hour or two later he actually sat up and read for a little while instead of going back to sleep. Of course, he did go back to sleep eventually, waking back up when Pomfrey brought him lunch.

When she asked if he needed anything else, he admitted he still felt really gross. Like he could still feel blood on him. He begged her to let him use one of the showers, and she told him it wouldn't really be possible. There were other students in the wing, and besides, he still had some open wounds. She offered to bring him a basin of warm water which he turned down.

He slept on and off throughout the next few hours, listening with interest when the victims of the Quidditch match were brought in. It sounded as though Slytherin really put Hufflepuff through the wringer. There were loads of voices in the main wing, though as time went on they slowly died down. There were still quite a few when Pomfrey came to get him.

She wrapped a cloak around him and put a camouflaging spell on him to get him outside, though she left him at the mouth of the tunnel, not wanting to leave the wing for too long with so many patients. He turned his wand on, creeping through the tunnel which felt a little weird since he was in pajamas and slippers. For a brief, terrifying second, he wondered what would happen if he stayed in the tunnel all night. A horrible, disgusting thought which he immediately pushed back. It made him hurry a bit, half-running (and tripping a few times, aggravating his leg wound) until he climbed up into the house. He shut the trapdoor and went straight for the shower. It was only a little over an hour until sunset but he was tired of feeling like this.

The hot water felt good, and he sat under the spray, hugging his knees. It was so relaxing he wound up staying there way too late until the moon began pulling at him suddenly. He had to scramble to shut the water off and get his clothes and bag locked away, somehow managing to do so although the curse hit right when he was heading down the stairs. He yelped and cried out as he tumbled down half the stairwell, crashing to the bottom painfully. It felt as though he broke his wrist, though it didn't really matter as the bones quickly began changing anyway.

/\/\/\/\/\

Saturday night was fairly awful. It was windy and cloudy, and he wound up transforming back and forth a few times. Sunday was spent sleeping a lot, trying to recover from all the energy burnt off his body. Sunday night, however, was even worse. He transformed multiple times. He was in utter and absolute pain on Monday morning, more exhausted than he ever remembered being. He couldn't even make it to the bathroom. The wounds on his body weren't too bad since he hadn't been in wolf form a whole lot; there were only some bites and scratches along with torn muscles. But all the changing had put him through the wringer.

Pomfrey found him in the kitchen, curled in a ball, shivering hard. She took care of his wounds, got him in pajamas, and helped him to the castle. He limped along, not from pain but simple exhaustion and weakness. He knew without looking he had lost weight. The transformations two nights in a row had burned a lot of meat off his bone. It was going to take a while to get back to his normal weight. Especially since even though he was starving, he was too weak to even get the milkshake down. He took a few halfhearted slurps before falling asleep.

His sleep was riddled with nightmares of changing in and out of wolf form, and he kept waking up with cries. At some point he heaved into a bowl, nothing coming out except for the little bit of shake he had had earlier.

Pomfrey forced him to wake up at around ten, demanding he get something into him. She had chicken broth which he managed to get several large spoonfuls down.

"You've lost a lot of weight," she said, watching him trying to feed himself. His hands shook, and broth went everywhere. She got her wand out, flicking it to make the spoon move on its own.

"I kn—know," he whispered.

"Dangerously low."

He swallowed. "I know."

"You're not going to classes today."

At that he turned his head, just as the spoon went forward. It bumped against his cheek, and broth spilled. "I—I f-f-figured..." The spoon twisted around, insisting on going in his mouth. He accepted it, then slid down farther into the bed. "I—I r-really want to sleep some more, please."

"Three more spoonfuls," she urged.

He stared bitterly at the bowl however accepted the gulps of broth. Pomfrey took the broth away, and Remus curled up. His hand lay near his face and he looked at his thin wrist. He reached with his other hand, circling his fingers around his wrist. He hadn't asked how much he weighed now, but... well, he certainly believed the 'dangerous' part. If he was human, that is. Perhaps not so 'dangerous' for a werewolf.

Within minutes, he was back asleep.

/\/\/\/\/\

"...my life I have someone who needs me, someone I've needed so long." A voice filtered through his dark dreams, and he felt a hand stroking his hair. "For once unafraid I can go where life leads me. Somehow I know I'll be strong..." He stirred a bit, struggling as he came out of sleep. "For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of, long before I knew. Oh, someone sweet like you would make my dream come true..."

"M—Mum?" he murmured, then regretted it because whoever it was would laugh at him. If there was anyone really there, maybe his brain had broken again.

"Yes, baby?"

His eyes snapped open and he sat up, staring in shock at his mother. "Mum!"

Her fingers brushed against his cheek, and even though she was smiling he could sense she was very upset. "Hello," she said, bending in to kiss his cheek. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

Remus glanced around, terrified he'd find himself back home in Wales instead of Hogwarts—but no, he was still in his little room connected to the hospital wing. "Wh—what are y-you d-d-doing here?!"

"I was very worried when I got the letter from Dumbledore. Your father had some Floo powder. I used the Floo network at the—the pub in Dragon's Field, going to Hogsmeade, and the—the... the, ahh, very large groundskeeper brought me here."

"Hagrid," he mumbled, feeling confused. "Letter?"

"Yes, regarding your health." Her hand trailed down to his too-thin arm. "The last times I got the letters Lyall convinced me not to intrude but I've been feeling so sad and worried about you, I couldn't stay back."

"What... t-time is it?"

"I'm not sure, probably around four?"

Remus shook his head, trying to clear some of the fogginess. "I didn't know they sent letters..."

"Yes, when you've had... particularly bad nights." She began rubbing his shoulder. "We've gotten sporadic updates. Your first full moon here, and—and the night you... hmmm... your—your eye," she whispered. "I wanted to come, as I said, however Lyall said you were getting terrific care here and we shouldn't go running for every little incident. It was hard. You always said you were all right after, but—well, I held myself back. You're almost done with your second year so I thought it wouldn't be too bad to visit this time."

Panic swelled within him. "But—but I've t-t-told people you're ill!" His eyes darted to the door as he wondered how many people saw her. They probably wouldn't recognize her as his mother, would they? James knew what she looked like, however he'd know not to say anything. Did they look too much alike? They had the same hair color and the same delicate build...

Hope's forehead wrinkled. "There didn't seem to be many students around when we came through the castle."

The door opened, and Pomfrey peered in. "Oh good, you're awake. I wanted you to try to eat some more." She brought in a plate with some mashed potatoes and chicken. The chicken was shredded to make it easier to eat and mixed in with some gravy. She set the tray on his lap, and Hope took the fork, promising to make sure he'd eat.

"Mum," Remus mumbled when Hope held the fork up. "I—I can feed myself."

"You're weak."

"I can lift a fork!" he whined. Hope raised an eyebrow, holding the fork closer. He sighed and opened his mouth, glad nobody could see his mother feeding him.

"You need to eat a lot," she said, getting another forkful. "You've lost so much weight. I can't believe what I'm seeing."

"It's h-happened before..."

"I know, but it's always hard to see you like this," she sighed, scooping up plenty of chicken. You're the one that came to see me, he thought a little bitterly. "I hate it. Besides, I don't think you've been this bad off for a very long time."

He obediently ate, feeling weak and tired, not sure if he would have been able to eat so much if he had been feeding himself. Not that he'd admit it. "You get letters every time I have a bad—bad moon?"

"I'm assuming," she answered. "We also received letters on the first—the, well, in September, when you were left alone in the house for the first time."

"You knew about that?"

Hope gave him a strange look. "Of course we did. It was a big decision regarding you, they wouldn't do something like that without asking for our permission."

Remus was kinda surprised by all this. "You n-never mentioned it."

"No..." She lowered her gaze to the plate of food. "Your father made the decision. I wanted to talk to you about it. And also tell Professor Dumbledore no. Your father thought it would be good for you." She scooped potatoes up. "I was relieved when they wrote back saying they changed their minds, though they never explained why."

"Th—they didn't tell you why it changed?" Remus asked hesitantly. Hope shook her head. "Oh." He quickly took the bite to avoid any explanation.

"Miss Pomfrill said you've lost fourteen pounds," Hope said, and Remus began choking. The last time he had lost weight like this he had lost seven pounds, and that had been dangerous enough.

"I d-d-didn't realize it was that bad..." He looked down at his wrists then pulled his shirt up to see his ribs. Hope winced and reached out, pushing his shirt back down, not wanting to see what he was going through.

"You'll be fine," she promised, leaning in to kiss his cheek again. "Miss Pomfrill told—"

"Pomfrey."

"Miss Pomfrey told me that someone named Slug? Made a potion to help weight gain? It'll be done this evening."

"Slughorn," Remus supplied.

"Maybe this will help." She balanced the tray on his lap then bent down, picking her handbag up. She produced a bag with a dozen biscuits (bisctits, he thought, trying not to snicker), and another bag with brownies.

He perked up, immediately taking the bag of brownies. The gooey chocolate tasted so good, and he managed to get an entire brownie down. "Thank you," he said and Hope beamed.

He wasn't able to finish the rest of the chicken and potatoes, and, after a quick trip to the little toilet room attached to his room, he felt far too drowsy. Hope tucked him into bed and began stroking his hair, singing quietly until he drifted off, which really didn't take that long at all.

/\/\/\/\/\

Hope was still there when Pomfrey brought more food. This was another shake which had potion in it that would help him gain some of the weight back. Remus drank half of it, then asked when he'd be able to leave.

"Leave?" Pomfrey asked, confused.

"Yes, g—go back to the dorms," he answered.

Pomfrey gave him a rather pitying look. "Not tonight," she said, and held a hand up as he began protesting. "Remus. You need to stay here overnight. I'm sorry. You're in no shape to leave."

"But—classes—"

"You'll miss tomorrow's classes," she said gently. "Certainly the morning ones, probably the afternoon ones."

Hope took one of Remus's hands in both of hers, squeezing gently. "Darling, you're in no position to be going to classes like this."

"I—I feel fine, just a little tired is all," he argued. "I'll eat plenty. I promise!"

"We'll see in the morning," Pomfrey said in the tone that meant 'no'.

Remus frowned, worry filling him up as he thought of the other Marauders. They were expecting him back today! He could possibly try to send them a note, except that could be suspicious. After all, there was no 'time limit' for the illness, so why would he send a note saying he'd be late? He had been gone four nights before. No... sending a note might arouse suspicion.

What are they going to think? Remus glanced down at the shake, not hungry anymore. They would worry. What if they went to McGonagall, or Pomfrey? They wouldn't, would they? It'd be suspicious.

Hope urged him to drink more. He shook his head, carefully setting the glass on the table; he was shaking from weakness, and if the glass had been full it definitely would have spilled.

"I—I want to go back to sleep," he said, plucking at the blanket.

Hope reached out, and he withdrew from her, trying not to notice the hurt filling her face. Her hands fell, and she sighed. "Maybe you should come home. For a few days."

"No!" he cried out. "No! Mum, I—I'll be fine. I won't go to class tomorrow, I promise. I'll listen to Pomfrey!" He snatched the glass, intending to finish drinking the potion-shake but it slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor, glass and liquid going everywhere. "Damn."

"Remus, language!" Despite snapping that, Hope jumped up, rushing around to the other side of the bed to clean the mess up. Remus tried to get out of bed to help, feeling awful. Hope told him he had to rest. "Darling, it's going to take a few days to get you back to—back to full health," she said, dumping the glass in the rubbish bin. "Wouldn't you feel more comfortable being at home while you recover?"

I'm going back to the dorms tomorrow night no matter what, he thought angrily. "I'd rather be here," he said and he heard his mother give a little intake of breath. "I mean—I wouldn't mind being home," he lied, "but I don't want to shuffle back and forth is all."

The door to his room opened and Pomfrey came in. "I thought I heard something," she said.

"I dropped the g-glass. Mum got—she cleaned it," he said.

Hope stood up, glancing at Pomfrey. "Dwi ddim yn deall pam eigh bod chi mor ystyfnig," she told Remus.

Pomfrey raised her eyebrows at the sudden Welsh. Remus wasn't sure why his mother didn't want her listening in—it wasn't anything awful—but he answered, "Rwy'n addo y byddaf yn iawn. Fe wnaf yr hyn y mae hi'n ei ddweud."

"I'll go," Pomfrey said, though she flicked her wand first, making the mess on the floor disappear. She gave Remus a smile before shutting the door behind her.

"Mum," he moaned.

"I'm only worried—"

"I'll be fine. Please. I—I just want to go back to sleep right now."

Hope rubbed her forehead as she sank back into the chair. "Very well. However, if you're not much better by tomorrow night I think you should come home for a little while. I'm sure the headmaster would be fine with that."

Remus slowly nodded. "Yes, I can—that's f-fine."

Hope kissed his forehead and gave him a hug. "I should get home before too late. I might come by tomorrow, if we have enough Floo powder."

"All right. I love you, Mum."

"I love you too, baby. I'll stay until you get back to sleep."

They hugged again then Hope sang to him, running her fingers up and down his arm gently until he drifted back into unconsciousness.