Dicta-quill recording is proceeding overseen by Auror-Apprentice Nymphadora Tonks. Auror Alastor Moody interviewing underaged witness Mathilda Grimblehawk. Minerva McGonagall is here in loco parentis for this interview.

Ms. Grimblehawk, please describe the events of this afternoon in Hogwarts in your own words and to the best of your recollection.

So! I had gotten back early from lunch. I was studying in the Gryffindor common room with the second-years. We'd all stayed back at school for the break. I have OWLs coming up. I'm not sure why they did. Hermione—Granger: top of her year, our house—always thinks she's going to have a hard time. So she studies very hard. This time, she's got her friends doing it. That girl's going to be the first muggleborn Minister.

Anyway! Last year, study sessions with the lower-years seemed to help the fifth-years. You get to review that year for OWLs, and the year gets to review for their exams. I think Penny—Clearwater: Ravenclaw prefect, she's so nice—came up with the idea. But I did it last year because of Harry Dresden.

You know Harry, right? Of course you do. You interviewed him after the Death Eater attack at Hogsmeade last year. Oh! And you've probably been tutoring his year in defense, too, Auror Moody? Well last year he was just my friend. And at the attack, we'd just kind of got together. But now he's basically my boyfriend. I think he's even about ready to admit it to himself.

Tonks! We don't "high-five" witnesses during an interview.

Sorry! But we were in the common room. I think we were reviewing astronomy. Harry's awful at astronomy. He barely passed his OWLs on that. I've been mostly reviewing stuff he can't help me with this week. I've got defense in the bag, I think. Though I still haven't managed a patronus for the extra credit! I'm rambling, sorry. We had just gotten to studying even though everyone else was still at lunch. Then Left and Right burst in like Filch was after them.

I mean the Weasley twins, Fred and George. You've met them. You get it.

For the record, though, please, Ms. Grimblehawk.

Okay, well, they're twins. They have a lot of fun. Get in trouble a lot. They like it when you can't tell them apart. Even when they were first years, and I tried tagging them to tell them apart, they got even. Those boys can prank. So I just think of them based on what side they're standing on. Easier than stealth tickling charms at all hours as payback for writing their names on their foreheads.

I figured they'd just set off a prank in the great hall or something. But they had on their serious faces. You learn to tell when they're actually serious, and not just setting you up. "Lockhart's gone crazy!" Left said. And then Right said, "He's after Harry and McGonagall!"

You know I'm just paraphrasing, right? My memory's not good enough to tell you exactly what they said.

Yes, we'll consider quotations as to the best of your recollection, Ms. Grimblehawk. Please continue.

Right! So Harry wasn't even supposed to be here today! He went home for the holidays. Well, to the home he's staying at. He doesn't really have a permanent address, on account of his parents being dead and his mentor trying to kill him last year. He's had it rough. Anyway, he was supposed to be at the Ministry today. He was a witness for the Wizengamot for a new law. I know! I'm off track. Sorry!

Left and Right might trick you for a prank, so I was wary. But you can usually rely on them when it's dangerous. So trust but verify. "What? Harry's here!?" I probably asked them.

"He said the Wizengamot was going to evacuate the school," Left said. Right added, "But that it was a trick from the Death Eaters, so he went to warn McGonagall." Sorry, Professor, but they just said "McGonagall." We mostly don't say "Professor Soandso" unless we have to. I'm so glad you're okay! Right, sorry! "Then Lockhart attacked us all!" Left added, and Right finished, "So they sent us to get help!"

One day, I'm going to split them up. Then I'm going to see if whichever one I've got can say two sentences in a row. I bet he'll just sit there after the first sentence, wondering why the next one isn't being completed. I bet you have to line their homework up side by side to read it.

Sorry!

They'd barely gotten all that out when we heard an explosion outside, by the stairs. I ran to the portrait door to look out, and someone, probably Ron Weasley, yelled, "He might have the basilisk!" Which was dumb. There are lots of windows into the stairwell and it was lunchtime. I'm not sure the basilisk can be around in the day at all. But it certainly wouldn't be out in the sunlight!

They're kind of like vampires. Creatures powered by dark magic don't like sunlight.

So I ignored them and poked my head out. And I saw Belby, the potions professor, attacking Harry and Professor McGonagall with erumpent potions. I don't think either of you saw me? Right. So the two of them ran off, but I knew it was now two bad professors. "Professor Belby's attacking them too!" I told everybody. I used his title because we also have a student who's a Belby right now and it might have been confusing!

We discussed it quickly. I can't remember who said what. But we decided that we were in a tight spot. Most of the professors went on vacation. If McGonagall was in trouble and Lockhart and Belby were bad guys, we had a problem! Flitwick was gone for the holiday. Dumbledore hadn't been around all week and Harry told me... I mean, the rumor was he got petrified, or half-petrified, or whatever. We weren't sure if anyone else was good in a fight. So, while it was clear, we sent the kids to find Hagrid.

People underestimate Hagrid! He's a hell of a shot, and not much can hurt him. If he needed to, he could probably take out anyone on staff short of Dumbledore and maybe Professor McGonagall or Flitwick.

"Why are they after us!?" I asked, at some point. The twins pointed out that Harry thought Lockhart was controlled by some magic item he was wearing. And maybe Belby was imperiused. We had a discussion about how none of us can cast the liberatus. Harry tried to show me, but since I haven't even cast the patronus yet…

One of the twins eventually said, "Belby is coming this way. And Nott's first name is 'Cantankerus?'"

Is it slander—or libel, I guess—if I accuse a Wizengamot member of something that I can't prove in a witness statement?

Just list your suppositions. This isn't a trial.

Okay! Cantankerus Nott is a pureblood that was accused of being a Death Eater, but didn't go to Azkaban after the war. Harry's been attacked at least twice by a Death Eater with his same general build. I was there for one of them. Also he seemed very interested in staring at Harry at the Malfoy New Years' party.

I had the most awesome dress robes. And Harry cleaned up very nicely. He can dance! Why don't we ever have dances at school? The muggles do it all the–

Sorry! So I was on guard. The twins have some way of knowing who's on campus and more or less where they are. I don't want to make any further suppositions about how that could be in the present company?

Fine.

Anyway! Belby was after us, and we knew he'd been attacking Professor McGonagall and Harry so was either bad or imperiused or whatever. And maybe Nott was just here because of the Wizengamot decision to evacuate the school, but maybe not. So we figured we shouldn't just stay put in the tower!

"Get what you can before he gets here!" I told the twins. They ran back to their room quickly, and came back with bulging pockets. I told you they did pranks? Everyone else in Gryffindor was at lunch, so we decided to head out too. Didn't want to get trapped! We weren't sure if Professor Belby could get into the tower. Because of being a professor?

We got out and were going to try to go warn everyone at lunch. But then the twins said that Lockhart was in the great hall! And everyone else seemed to be going back to their common rooms. So we guessed he had just told everyone to do it, rather than killing everyone. And probably because it would be easier to find the twins before they could tell on him! And Belby was heading back upstairs with everyone, so we couldn't just warn them.

So we went to find the other professors! They maybe couldn't win a duel against the bad professors, but, you know, adults. Long story short? Having the twins along made it hard to convince people. Everyone thought it was a prank. They really have a bad reputation. We mostly spent a few hours staying just ahead of Belby and Nott, and wondering why the kids hadn't come back with Hagrid. But the later it got, the more we worried that they would let the basilisk out. And we still couldn't find Harry, or Professor McGonagall, or Lockhart on the map.

Did I say map? I meant… like… a metaphorical map? A map is not the territory, I know! Maps! Who was talking about maps?

And, like, I can't prove that Nott is the same guy as the Death Eater that was stalking around the hallways or anything, because he eventually got away. But when we went looking for Nott, we found a guy in a Death Eater robe and mask. It's all I'm saying.

You know, I don't think the bad guys were prepared for kids who actually knew how to get around the school? If you knew the secret passages and had a good idea of where people were, a small resistance could probably hold the school for months against invaders. You know, like those big apes in the jungle?

Do you mean "guerrillas?"

Right! Gorillas! They're like big muggle demiguises. Can they turn invisible too? Or, like, the muggle camouflage equivalent? That would explain why "gorilla warfare" means using hit and run tactics. That must be terrifying! They can get up to more than 30 stone and are strong enough to rip your arm right out of the socket!

That's not… nevermind. Continue, please. You were using guerrilla tactics?

Yes! The muggle kids have been telling us about Scooby Doo. It's a telly show about four kids and their talking dog that solve mysteries. Usually it's a monster terrorizing a place, and it's almost always actually just another muggle pretending to be a monster to scare people away to do crimes? Harry likes comparing Hermione to one of the characters… Velvet maybe? I'm going to try to see some of it. It sounds interesting. But! Most of the episodes apparently have a whole scene where funny music is playing and the monster's chasing the kids and doors are opening and closing. See, Tonks gets it!

If it's relevant, Auror-Apprentice Tonks will append this record with a more concise description. But I take it you were using hit-and-run tactics and using your superior numbers to keep the Death Eater from staying in pursuit of a single target?

Exactly! And I don't think he really understood that he was dealing with twins? Because they kept letting him chase one of them around a corner, and then the other one would pop out and be like, "No! I'm over here!" and he kept falling for it.

But he was firing off Unforgivables! So we had to be fast! And it was pretty terrifying. Especially when Professor Belby showed up and started throwing dangerous potions. But I felt like his heart wasn't really in it. I'm pretty sure the twins are secretly his favorites of their year. They're really good in potions class. They've been a super big help to brush up on my potions from last year for OWLs.

We kept it up for a long time. None of the three of us are great at the dangerous spells that you use in a duel when it's serious. But the Death Eater really was! And even though he may have been trying to resist the imperius, Belby was good at shielding against what we could throw. I'm glad I'm not trying to be an auror! So much respect for you two, having to fight wizards like that!

But if we're right, he's a really old man. The Death Eater, I mean, who was getting tired. Belby's not that old, but he eventually used up all his potions. And the twins were running out of Zonko products and their own tricks. So we weren't sure which way it would go.

Then Harry showed up.

He'll probably say he didn't do much. That we handled it. He's really modest! And has no idea how scary he is to the bad guys!

We were fighting through the trophy room on the third floor, and the bad guys had us kind of pinned down. Then we hear, "Libero!" from near the stairwell. That's the incantation for the liberatus charm. The one that frees people from the imperius that I mentioned?

Yes. We're up to speed on that. In fact, I think we'll make that a priority for as many of you as possible to learn in my last tutoring sessions this year. It would be good for everyone to know. So Dresden cast it on Belby?

Right! And we poked our heads out and there was Professor Belby looking all confused about how he got there. And Harry! He was wearing his nice robes (which, really, aren't that nice, I need to see about fixing that), probably because he'd been at the Wizengamot and hadn't changed. And they were scuffed up, but just enough to make him look like he'd been in a battle. So sexy. And he had his unicorn-horn focus in one hand and a silver broadsword in the other. I found out later it was the Sword of Gryffindor! And he was wearing the Sorting Hat. He looked like Godric Gryffindor come back to life. There's a sketch of him in Hogwarts: a History. I mean Godric Gryffindor, not Harry.

I kind of wish Colin—Creevey: first-year Gryffindor, photographer—had been here. Professor McGonagall, do you think it's okay if Harry holds onto the hat and the sword? Just until Colin gets back? Please!? Yay!

Well, the Death Eater takes one look at Harry, realizes Belby's not on his side anymore, and just turns and runs. Belby chases him out of the school, and Harry looked like he was going to help, but then he checked on us. And then he said we needed to make sure Professor McGonagall was okay! Even though he looked like he was so exhausted he was about to fall over.

Gryffindor men, right?

Tonks! No regular "fives" either!

So then we went up to the Room of Requirement and dug Professor McGonagall out of the pile of junk she got knocked under by Lockhart. I'm sure she and Harry already told you about that? Great!

Do you need anything else from me? Because I have a lot of studying to do. And I think I missed dinner!

And... Harry might not have changed clothes yet.

Fine. This concludes the interview.