Until The Very End

Notes:

This chapter is dedicated to all of you beautiful, generous readers who stuck with this fic right through to the very end!

And a special thanks to those of you who left comments and some of you even read it more than once and left comments TWICE! I can't tell you how much your feedback cheered me up when I was going through shit times. I read back through the comments if I'm feeling bad and it invariably cheers me up!

Chapter 52: Until The Very End

Previously…

"I want my brother and Lupin to talk," Regulus continued.

Lily tried not to smile.

"So do I, Reggie," she said.

James smiled at Regulus, wide and thankful.

"Thanks for saying what we were all thinking," he said. "I want them to talk too. If they're ready."

"When will they ever be ready?" Regulus asked, as though confused.

"Touché," Sirius gave a bitter laugh, finally raising his eyes to meet Remus', full of guilt and self-loathing.

"Sirius," Remus said, taking a step closer to him.

"I have no excuse," those grey clear eyes making his heart swell. "I don't expect you to forgive me-"

"Sirius," he said, taking another step forward.

"I should never have suspected you."

"I know, but…"

"How could I have believed that of you?" disgust in his tone.

"You weren't well, Sirius, you weren't thinking straight," said Remus quietly.

"I didn't believe you, Sirius, that one of us was the spy! You were wrong, but you were also right!" James said, seemingly unable to stop himself from interrupting. "If I had listened to you, if I had stopped to think about it, maybe I could have worked it out, maybe I would have-"

"James, sweetie, don't blame yourself, you weren't to know. I didn't guess, none of us was right," Lily said, taking James' hand and intertwining their fingers. "Remus - if Voldemort's plan had worked, if we had died, would you have blamed Sirius, guessing he was the Secret Keeper? Dumbledore would have confirmed it was him. Would you have believed Sirius that Pettigrew was the spy?"

Remus stared at her in silence.

"I think, I know, I would have believed them," he said eventually, tears pooling in his eyes as he looked around to Sirius once more. "I would have blamed you, Seren. Fuck! I would have blamed you, and you would probably have ended up in Azkaban for a crime you didn't commit. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

He was now standing right in front of the man he loved.

Sirius' hands gently squeezed his shoulders as he shook his head, unable to speak.

"Typical Moony, apologising for something he didn't even do," he whispered eventually, pressing his lips tightly to stop them trembling. "I, on the other hand-"

Remus knew that look, that desperate attempt to maintain the stiff upper lip, the straight back, the raised chin, the heaving breaths.

"Please, Padfoot, please stop, I know how sorry you are, I can see it," Remus' voice shook. "You don't need to keep apologising, you don't-"

"I will never be able to make up for what I did," Sirius said, placing his hands tentatively on the edge of Remus' cloak, as though unable to pull away from him, not yet. "But you, you're free now to do as you will. I'm only glad you never agreed to marry me, it was fucking insane of me to even vaguely suggest it, and-"

Remus' eyes glinted.

"Pardon?" he said.

A small, fluffy owl fluttered close by and dropped a rolled-up parchment onto James' hand, distracting them all momentarily.

"What the…?" James muttered to himself with a frown.

"What?" Sirius asked, sharp and hard and anxious, wand out as though to fend off an imaginary attack.

"I… it can't be," James' hand shook as he carded it through his hair in bewilderment.

"What is it, James?" said Lily, as James wordlessly handed her the letter, visibly trying to compose himself as he looked at Remus.

"James, is everything alright?" Remus said, looking between his two friends with concern.

"Oh Remus!" Lily said, halfway between a sob and a laugh, bringing her hand up to her mouth.

"It fucking is, it's the best fucking news I've heard in a long time, as good as hearing that Voldemort is temporarily dead," James said, his voice shaking with emotion. "Here! Read it!"

Remus took the letter and read it, looking back at them, speechless, as Regulus looked on impassively.

"Pron-James?" Sirius whispered irritably. "What the fuck is going on?"

James couldn't stand hearing their old nicknames since Halloween.

"It's the Wolfsbane Potion," James said, walking over to Remus and talking nineteen to the dozen in his excitement. "The Potioneers working on it these past few years, the brilliant bastards, they've done it! It's not perfect, they say it tastes gross and doesn't get rid of all the symptoms, and obviously aconite is very dangerous, so you'll need to be careful, Remus, and you'll need to take it daily for a whole week before the full moon, mind, but you won't lose your control, you'll half-transform, but you'll still be you, and over time, if they keep-"

Remus had launched himself at James in a bruising hug and his ragged breathing told James that he was trying not to cry.

"You're allowed cry, damn it!" James laughed, as tears fell down his face. "I'm fucking crying, I'm so fucking thrilled for you, old chap!"

Remus swiped at his eyes and grinned at Lily.

"Remus, I'm so, so happy, so happy for you," she said, hugging him fiercely.

"I can never," Remus stammered.

"Fuck off!" James said, turning around and facing Sirius with a huge grin. "Those insanely talented bastards did it!"

Sirius hugged James tightly, so tightly, almost with desperation.

"Thank you," he swallowed hard.

"Fuck off, Sirius!" James stopped him immediately and embraced him again. "It was your inheritance too, the best thing we ever did with it. We're making the full recipe available to the public, immediately, and we're going to campaign to ensure that the key ingredients are available at cost price so anybody who needs it can have access to it. What do you think?"

Before Sirius could swallow the lump in his throat, or open his mouth to respond, James was talking again.

"Not good enough? You're right! We need to make the potion available free of charge at all good potions stores nationwide, otherwise-"

"Damn right!" Lily said, looking on as though she thoroughly approved of everything that James said, as though he could do no wrong in her eyes.

Remus was laughing at him and not even pretending not to cry any more, as Sirius hugged James tightly again, grabbing him by the collar now.

"You're safe, Remus," Lily said, when they pulled away, taking Remus' hand and squeezing it tight. "The Potioneers have already contacted the Ministry, and the Ministry is going to release a press statement later, welcoming this development and shelving the Anti-Werewolf Legislation once and for all. It's all thanks to the hard work you put in, Remus. This would all be for nothing if it weren't for your achievements."

Remus shook his head in wonder, as Lily hugged James and smiled at Remus and Sirius, hoping against hope…

"Sirius," Remus said, smiling at Sirius, part shy, part anxious, part elated.

"I'm so happy for you, darling, so happy," Sirius' voice kept threatening to break as Remus moved closer to him again. "You'll be able to work. You won't need to worry about the future anymore. You'll be able to find someone, someone who deserves you, who loves you as you deserve. You'll be happy. You don't know how glad that makes me. You'll be healthier too, the pain will be more bearable. I'm so glad, Remus, I-"

"What did I tell you, Seren?" Remus said, trying to keep composed as he took Sirius' hands in his. "what did I tell you? Didn't I say that if the war ended, that if the laws against beasts like me never-"

"Remus!" Sirius said.

"Never came to pass, that I'd marry you? You're all I've ever dreamt of, wanted, my entire life. I couldn't let myself feel it, not properly, not until now. I was too scared, Sirius. Too scared that if I allowed myself to feel such happiness, I would never be able to cope with the devastation of losing you. I'm sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. How much I adore you. How much I need you. I'm sorry I was such a damned coward, Sirius, I should have had the courage to say yes, to tell you how I truly felt. I was protecting myself. I should have been protecting you. If you had known how much I loved you, if you really knew, that I would give anything to be with you, to stay with you, for the rest of my life…" Remus stopped short, unable to continue.

"You can't marry me!" Sirius swallowed thickly, his chest moving up and down with emotion. "Not after I let you down so badly. I would never dream of asking you to stay with me, when you can do so much better than me, no fucking way. We both know you deserve so much more, darling. So much more than I could ever give you."

"I would have made the same mistake if Voldemort had won, I would have blamed you," Remus said, tracing Sirius' cheekbone with his thumb. "Please."

"Remus, you need to forget me and move on, I'm not good enough for you, I'm too broken for you, too bad… too borderline insane…"

….

Remus was down on his knees in front of him, on the cold cobblestones, smiling up at him. Golden highlights in his hair, amber swirls in his eyes, a desperately fond smile, his hair too long and curling over the back of his jacket and falling into his eyes. Remus would have laughed and noted his too-large nose and his scarred face. All Sirius could see was the ruggedly beautiful angel in front of him, holding onto both of his hands tightly.

"Sirius, be quiet," he said, softly, commanding him.

Sirius' voice trailed off.

"You want me to be happy? Then know this - that being with you, Sirius Black, makes me happy, so fucking happy. I know we're not perfect together, Seren, I know that. We both had awful childhoods and we probably, no definitely, need to see someone for therapy, just like the muggles do, after the terrible things we've seen and done. That doesn't mean we can't be happy. I know I need help, I was too proud to admit it. But I'm done with pretending. I'm going to be fucking stronger from now on. I love you, Seren, all of you. I adore you, body and soul. And I will never love anyone the way I love you. The same way that James and Lily would ever love another person in the same way as they love each other. Please, Seren, says you're mine."

Remus' steady gaze was piercing him, and he couldn't answer, he wanted to say yes, so badly. Selfish bastard.

"I don't deserve you," he said, quietly, knowing it was true.

"My brother wants to say yes, Lupin. However, I would request that you consider that he was too used to hearing our parents tell him he wasn't good enough. Then he tried to hide his insecurity by refusing to care for anyone. Until you came along and made him care, despite himself. He cares for you, a lot. He was too used to expecting others to give up on him, to discard him, abandon him, and it made him question you too readily. He needs help to sort out this mess. So do I, actually. I may be rather useless when it comes to emotions, but even I can spot how deeply and passionately my brother cares for you, which is saying something, so to speak."

They all turned towards Regulus, whom they had forgotten about. Sirius especially seemed shocked at his speech.

"I asked Lily to make sense of your love life, as I was exceptionally confused, and she told me what she thinks," Regulus said, looking at his brother. "I hope you don't mind. I understand it now. I told her that maybe she should go into this type of helping people situation as a career option."

"I'm sorry," said Lily, looking at Sirius. "I hope you don't mind me discussing-"

Sirius shook his head.

"All true," he said, voice tight.

"Helping people situation?" James said. "I'm with Reg on this."

She squeezed his hand again.

"Thank you, Reg, I understand. And I promise your brother we'll get help, we'll start working on getting ourselves better, before we get married, Seren," Remus said, still kneeling, still looking only at Sirius. "If you don't want me, I'll accept it, I won't push you. I know I can be infuriating, refusing to let myself be vulnerable. I know I've always believed myself to be too poor, too dangerous, to let myself love someone fully. Give me a chance now, Seren, if you still love me, that's all I ask."

Sirius fell onto his knees, his hands on either side of Remus' face, tears streaming down his face.

"I never stopped loving you, darling, never, even when I was convinced you were the spy. I love you, Remus John Lupin. I don't deserve you, I never did. But this is what loving me looks like, look at me! I'm – a mess, a walking disaster, why would you- I'm so sorry, I'm so desperately sorry-"

"I know exactly what loving you looks like, Sirius! We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on...that's who we really are. The unstintingly loyal, generous to a fault, unfailingly brave man – that's who I fell in love with. You've seen me at my worst, a monster, and-"

"Remus!" said Sirius.

"And the same goes for me and you, I've seen your worst mistakes, yet we both still love each other."

Sirius stared at him in silence, his clear grey eyes startlingly bright, making no attempt to hide his tears.

"Tell me not that I am too late, that your precious feelings are gone for ever," Remus' voice broke, his green and amber eyes burning in return. "I have loved none but you. Weak and afraid I have been, but never inconstant. Tell me you're still mine."

As though undone by those words, Sirius grabbed a hold of his robes and slowly brought Remus' lips next to his own.

"You are the strongest person I know. I told you before, darling. I'm yours. All yours. You own me," he said quietly.

Remus' breath hitched.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he exhaled, as he brought their foreheads together.

Sirius' eyes shone. Remus brought his fingers through Sirius' silken hair, long once more. He traced his thumb over Sirius' lips, the sharp edge of his jaw, over his dark stubble and prominent cheekbones, over his wet eyelashes, down his nose, over his lips once more and down his neck, over his prominent Adam's Apple and down over the hollow at the base of his neck.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he repeated, longing, reverence and sweetness in his whisper.

Sirius smiled then, a smile that lit his red eyes, all tenderness and hope.

"Remus John Lupin," said Sirius, his elegant hands wrapped around Remus' waist and running through the curls at the back of his neck as he sighed into his mouth. "Shut up and kiss me."

That tiny spark of the humour and mischief that Remus had feared he would never see again.

"Seren," said Remus, kissing Sirius' lips softly, hesitantly at first, as Sirius responded with burning desire.

When they pulled apart eventually, Sirius could feel his heart going boom, boom, boom.

"Hey," Remus said softly, placing his hand firmly on top of his chest, feeling the thrum of his heart beat. "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

Home. When was the last time anywhere had felt like home?

"Please don't make me cry again," Sirius said in a low voice, smiling as tears fell down Remus' cheeks.

They embraced like lovers.

…..

"Too late for me," said James, who could no longer contain himself, having watched the entire conversation with tears in his eyes.

He took off his glasses and wiped his face with his cloak.

"And me. You two can't expect me to remain cool, calm and collected with this sort of carry-on, not with my raging hormones," said Lily.

"Was that a proposal?" Regulus asked, staring at Remus intently.

They all laughed, and Remus flushed with embarrassment, hiding his face momentarily in the crook of Sirius' neck.

"A very bad one, evidently, Reg, and with no ring," said Remus, looking up, still mortified but laughing. "Your brother would have proposed in a much more romantic, beautiful way, I know."

"I've never heard anything more beautiful in my entire life," Sirius said, and the warmth of his smile pierced Remus' soul.

"I've never heard a more beautiful reply in my entire life," Remus replied, looking at Sirius, enchanted.

"And you call yourself unromantic, huh?" Lily said, grinning at Remus.

"He's an idiot, but he's my idiot," Sirius said to her, still smiling, and with a seductive wink at Remus.

"Hey! That's my line!" Remus laughed, holding onto the lapels of his woollen cloak.

Sirius shrugged.

"I fucking love you," Remus said.

They all hugged each other, laughing at James who was still crying.

"I can't help it," he huffed, with a massive grin that threatened to split his face in half. "I'm your biggest shipper!"

"You are," agreed Lily, sniffing and wrapping her arms around James' waist as though afraid to let him leave her side. "Will we tell them now, get all the happy tears over and done with?"

James looked at her, at his beautiful, tired wife, a trace of nausea still in her smile. Her green eyes moist, more beautiful than anything in the world, the same eyes as Harry, who lay blissfully asleep in his buggy the entire time.

Words were inadequate to describe his love for her.

"Do you remember my raging and wholly unsuccessful thing for you?" he asked, holding her face in his hands, and smiling.

"I do, almost as well as I remember my own raging and wholly unsuccessful thing for you," she laughed softly, standing closer to him.

"I've loved you since we were 15, when I didn't even know what love was," he said. "The longer we're together, the more I adore you, the more I realise I'm the luckiest man in the world. I love you, Lily Evans Potter."

"James… I can never thank you enough," she broke off, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I love you, my gallant lad. Harry, me, everything you've done for us…"

He could never bear to see her cry.

"Hush," he said, wiping away her tears and kissing her forehead tenderly. "Let's tell them."

"Tell us what?" asked Regulus, who was standing beside him, looking confused.

"I'm pregnant, again," Lily said, looking back at James with joy. "We found out the night before that awful day… we had thought… we didn't want Harry growing up all alone for years, James especially, and we always wanted more children. It was a risk, but…"

"What's life without a little risk?" Remus and Sirius said simultaneously, grinning at James.

"Congratulations," said Regulus.

"Oh Reggie," said Lily, beaming at him. "Can I give you a hug?"

"You may," said Regulus.

"Listen up, chaps," said James, after the group hugs had abated. "I was wondering…"

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, seeing the look on James' face.

"I'd like you all, all three of you, and Kreacher too, to consider moving in with us in Laurelmere, at least for a while. We could convert the outhouses and the barn if you need your own space. I can't… I don't know what's wrong with me… I can't stop worrying about you all, I can't relax not knowing where you are. I couldn't handle ever leaving the house and having Lily and Harry here on their own. I know it sounds daft-"

"It doesn't," said Sirius.

"At least till everything settles down, till we get over things a bit better… I just want, need, to know you're all safe. Fucking ridiculous," James said.

"No, it isn't," said Remus.

"Laurelmere, it's full of good memories, full of kindness in the very fabric of the place," said James, with a catch in his voice. "I thought I didn't want to be there, after Mum and Dad died, but it's where my mind wanders to, a safe haven. There, and Lily."

"I always said you were the mother hen of the group," said Remus, with a wistful smile.

"Fuck off," said James, looking a bit relieved. "No, I mean, you can say no, obviously, I just reckoned I'd ask in-"

"I'd love that," Sirius said, looking at Remus. "As long as you want us there."

"Me too," Remus said. "I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now."

"Reg?" said Sirius, putting his arm around his younger brother and squeezing hard.

"Yes?" said Regulus.

"Will you move in with us too?" he asked, with a wide grin.

Regulus considered the question carefully, addressing Lily.

"Will I have my own room? I've gotten very used to peace and quiet since leaving Grimmauld Place."

"Your own room, or even your own apartment, if you'd prefer to be in a separate building, Reggie," said Lily.

"That would be preferable, yes, as long as my friend Kreacher can have rooms in an apartment nearby? We've gotten rather used to each other's company over the past few years, and I don't handle change very well," Regulus said. "And I would die rather than return to live with my mother. So would he."

"Excellent, consider it done!" said James.

"Did you really mean to invite me too, or were you actually-" Regulus asked.

"Are you joking, Reggie?" said James, huffing a laugh. "I haven't stopped worrying about you, thinking about you, since the day I showed up at your doorstep to yell at you! Of course I meant you too, you nincompoop!"

Sirius snorted with laughter.

"Merlin, Prongs, you sound like such a grandad sometimes!" he said, as Remus put his arm around him.

"A grandad and a mother hen," said James, grinning back. "I am a delight."

The others, aside from Regulus, laughed.

"I never joke," said Regulus, regarding James with what Sirius knew was a surprised look. "I had no idea you had been concerned for my wellbeing. That means a lot to me, Potter."

"Of course I was, I never stopped worrying about you, like Sirius. I still can't believe you found out Voldy's secret. I knew you were a closet Gryffindor," James said, holding Regulus by the shoulders and looking at him proudly. "You and your fuck-off lion Patronus!"

Regulus' eyes shone.

"Thank you for teaching me that spell, Potter," he said politely.

"You're so bloody welcome," James said, hugging Regulus.

"Fair warning, Reggie, but Pron- James is going to refer to you as his little brother from now on, just so you know, so you better call him James," Sirius said. "He can't help it."

"It's true," said James, looking at Regulus apologetically. "I hope you don't mind."

"I could get used to that too," Regulus said.

"Thank you," said James, his voice going low.

"C'mere," mumbled Sirius, unable to speak properly as he hugged Regulus tightly for a long time, unwilling to let him go.

….

Mia Minnie Potter was born on the 18th of June 1982.

"Baby Mia," Harry said, in hushed awe, staring in wide-eyed wonder at his tiny baby sister, at her dark eyes and auburn hair, enchanted.

"Yes, Harry," said Remus, equally awe-struck.

"Moony is Goddad," Harry said, nodding sagely in Remus' direction as he looked up at his father.

"That's right, Harry," said James, ruffling his black hair and grinning at him, and trying not to laugh at Remus' facial expression.

"And your Aunty Minnie is going to be Mia's Godmother," Lily said, kissing Harry's forehead and smiling tenderly at her little daughter. "She's thrilled to bits."

"Thank Merlin for that," said Sirius, who was looking at Mia as though she might start her mini marauding at any moment.

Remus and Sirius were married almost a year to the day since he had proposed, 21st December, the Winter Solstice, 1982. It was a very small ceremony, in the grounds of Laurelmere. The sun shone and the frost twinkled. James, Regulus, Lily and Marlene were their Best People. The sun hung low in the sky, softening and blurring all sharp edges. Yellow daffodils adorned the venue, in honour of Hope and Remus' Welsh heritage. Remus wore a kilt because he had Scottish blood on his father's side, and mostly because having seen a reluctant preview, Lily assured him that Sirius would be unable to cope with his hotness. When Sirius saw him that day - wearing a traditional loose-fitting ghillie shirt, with the leather lace fastened in a simple knot, the camel coloured tartan with the brown, orange and gold colours, the rays of the sun hitting his ash blonde curls, his pale scars reminding him of Japanese Kintsugi**– it rendered him speechless.

"Is it a bit much?" an awkward Remus winced, running a hand down the back of his neck and clearing his throat.

Sirius shook his head vigorously, waiting for his brain to catch up with his eyes.

"No, I… no!" he said in a husky undertone.

He reached out impulsively and kissed Remus on the lips.

"Oi! Wait till the ceremony is over, yeah?" James hissed, poking him with his elbow, as the rest of them laughed.

Remus pulled back, his cheeks glowing, a self-effacing, embarrassed smile lighting up his face.

"Fuck!" said Sirius, utterly captivated by him.

"Sirius!" James hissed again, smacking his arm, amid giggles and snorts of delight.

Remus sucked in a breath as he looked at Sirius, standing in front of him, wearing a woollen black, double breasted suit with a black polo-neck jumper underneath. His hair was tied back in a top knot with a few strands of jet-black tendrils framing his face. Remus looked into his silver eyes, filled with such burning devotion, and joy. It was so long since he had seen such happiness in him, and it made his heart soar again. His gaze fell to Sirius' pale lips.

"Remember to breathe, Remus," Lily muttered from beside Remus, as she and James locked eyes, trying hard not to laugh at the sight of their lovestruck friends.

Remus laughed then and exhaled slowly, taking both of Sirius' hands in his.

"Seren," he said, lifting Sirius' left hand and kissing it.

James' face ached from smiling so much.

"Dearly beloved, Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate this very special union between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin…"

Harry walked slowly up the aisle, accompanied by Bandit, carrying the two wedding bands on top of a red cushion, and looking so proud of himself.

"Good job, Uncle Padfoot," he whisper-shouted to Sirius. "I didn't mess up, see? You look very ham-some."

"So do you, Haz," Sirius said, winking and ruffling Harry's hair, and trying to stop himself from getting emotional as he bent down and hugged Harry tightly.

"So do you, Uncle Moony," Harry said solemnly, nodding vigorously in Remus' direction. "Your skirt is cool!"

Remus bit the side of his lips as he and Sirius both laughed.

"Why thank you, Harry, I thought so too," Remus said.

"Your scars are cool too," Harry said, looking at Remus carefully. "I wish I could get one."

"You don't need one to look cool, Harry," Remus said. "Look at your Godfather."

"I suppose," said Harry, who sounded unconvinced. "Happy Wedding."

He high-fived both of them. He could hear the other guests saying he was cute. He stretched his small neck and scratched at his collar. He had begged his Mummy to be allowed to wear a three-piece suit, just like his Daddy, but it was a bit itchy. He might change into his soft deer jumper instead.

His uncles were sniffing a bit. He turned around and smiled at Auntie Minnie, who seemed to have developed a cold. He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Actually, his Mummy and Daddy seemed to have developed colds too, all the grownups in fact, except his baby sister whom he was utterly mad about. He walked back over to her, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and kissed her fluffy, curly hair.

James wore his Wedding suit, which he knew was Lily's favourite. She thought he looked so dashing – handsome, rested, fit, lively, besotted with her, with his two gorgeous children, dancing with her in his waistcoat, shirtsleeves rolled up, his warm eyes glinting with sheer happiness. He danced with all of his friends in turn, twirling Lily around while he held a giggling Mia in his other arm and a beaming Harry balancing on his shoulders and clinging to his head. That mischievous grin she had missed so badly.

She wore the bottle-green, chiffon dress she had on the day he proposed to her, charmed to fit, her hair in a thick, French plait falling down her back, her eyes mesmerising, the emerald colour enhanced by the strong eye make-up, 80s muggle-style. James kept bumping into guests and apologising as his eyes constantly strayed back to her – her vivacious laughter, her teasing of him, her dancing with her friends and the grooms, her crouching down beside Harry in deep conversation, her feeding Mia on the rocking chair, murmuring soothing words to her baby.

Everyone they wanted came. Lyall, looking proud and emotional as he posed for a photograph with the happy couple. A surprisingly cheerful Kreacher who got gloriously drunk and boogied the night away with the delighted Hogwarts House Elves. Regulus, thrilled at his brother's happiness, who managed to stay for a full two hours into the festivities, before gratefully escaping from the noise and crowd.

Walburga Black was not invited.

She would not have come if she had been.

Minerva Mc Gonagall sat at the bridal party table. She laughed out loud as the boys and Lily argued over who she was there for – was she there as Harry's Godmother, or as their mother-figure in Hogwarts, or as Sirius' one good adult, before he ran away to live with the Potters? They all agreed on one thing - they were family now. She had always known that they were her favourite students, now they were also her favourite nieces and nephews. She looked young when she smiled, when she let her hair down (she was only in her 40s, which they always forgot) and she hung up her stern persona for the day, wearing a velvet and satin tartan evening dress in red, green and black. She danced with James (twice) and she danced with Remus, and she danced at least three times with Sirius, until Remus rescued her. She danced with Lily and Harry and she hugged the sweet little boy tight.

"He is the best of both of you," she told Lily.

"Quite a handful, so, Minnie," Lily teased her.

"I shall expect trouble to find him when he comes to Hogwarts," she said, pursing her lips.

"Why are you sniffing, Auntie Minnie?" Harry asked, as Minerva dabbed her eyes with a tartan handkerchief.

"Grown-ups sometimes get sniffly, dear, when they're happy," said Minerva, clearing her throat.

"But I'm always happy, and I never ever get the sniffles," said Harry, scrunching up his little nose and looking perplexed. "Grownups are weird."

Lily smiled and hugged him tight.

"Can I get another slice of cake, Mummy?" Harry asked, looking at Lily with his wide, almond shaped eyes. "Daddy says I need to eat like a horse, so I get to be as tall as Uncle Moony!"

"Off you go so, one more slice!" Lily laughed.

"I'm gonna go talk to Hagrid, he's my best friend. He's not into yucky kissing like Mummy and Daddy," Harry made a face and scrunched his nose to push his glasses back up his nose. "AND, and he's HUGE, taller than Uncle Remus! And he loves animals and asgusting stuff, just like me - goo and slimey stuff, I'm not scared!"

Minerva laughed.

"Time for bed soon, Harry," called out James, as Harry zoomed under his legs with a loud giggle.

"NOOOOOO!" he squealed. "Not bed! No way!"

Lily raised her right eyebrow.

"Only if Uncle Reggie tells me bedtime stories!" said Harry pouting and looking up at Regulus.

"Technically they're bedtime facts," said Regulus smiling at Harry.

"Uncle Reggie's soooo cool, Auntie Minnie, he knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING!" said Harry, his eyebrows disappearing into his bushy hair. "And he's not even a Professor! Uncle Reggie is the best!"

"I thought I was!" said Sirius, looking at Harry with mock horror.

Harry squinted.

"Nah, you're just best at games, and the coolest," he said. "And Uncle Moony's the best at pillow forts."

"I thought I was the coolest?" James laughed, as Sirius and Remus beamed.

"Nah, you are just the best Daddy, like Mummy's the best Mummy," said Harry, shaking his head so vigorously that his glasses fell off.

James pretended to be shocked and Harry giggled.

"Auntie Marley and Auntie Dorky are cooler than all my Uncles," Harry added, and burst out laughing as he watched Sirius' mouth fall open.

"No!" Sirius said, clutching his chest, looking stunned.

"YES!" Harry shouted gleefully, dissolving into another giggling fit, as Sirius chased after him.

Minerva sniffed and blew her nose loudly. Lily put her arm around Minerva and squeezed her tight.

"He's such a happy little laddie," Minerva said, still sniffing.

Lily smiled, as she watched James pick Harry up and throw him into the air as he shrieked with joy.

"He is, he is so loved," she said, her emerald eyes sparkling.

Dorcas and Marlene, said coolest aunties, were just back from their own honeymoon, and only had eyes for each other. Marlene in a low cut, black satin dress with batwing sleeves and a dropped waist, blonde hair backcombed to the nines, her burgundy lips permanently raised. Dorcas effortlessly beautiful in a stunning, dark red tuxedo, the same colour as her wife's lips, with clinched waist, over-sized shoulder-pads (Sirius remained convinced she was the inspiration behind that trend taking off in muggle fashion) and a diamond choker. Marlene refused to let go of her waist all day.

…..

"Where's..." James glanced around the garden.

"James," Lily said softly, placing her hand on his arm, as though to warn him.

His facial expression changed abruptly, she could feel his biceps tensing beneath her fingers.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I still..." he said in a gruff voice, eyebrows knitting together. "I forget..."

"I know," she said.

He looked down at her then, and she could see the sorrow and anger etched on his handsome face, his jaw tight.

"I don't know how, but even now… I half expect him to walk back in here someday, with that grey, fucking too long, canvas school bag that nearly reached his knees, laughing and telling me it was all a joke, that none of it was real..." he said, waving his arm vaguely, as though to emphasis the stupidity of his words.

"Sometimes I think I see him in a crowd. I see the thin, straight, bowl haircut... is it wrong that despite it all, I miss him sometimes?"

Remus and Sirius has joined them, and Sirius' eyes clouded over on hearing his husband's words.

"No, it's not wrong, Remus, he was a Marauder," Lily said, with a sad smile.

"He was one of us," James said, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I can't stand the thought of him," Sirius admitted quietly, his jaw tensing at the very idea. "I don't know what I'd do to him..."

"He's gone," Lily said, holding his hand. "Some day, you'll be able to remember the good times fondly, remember him as he was back then, a good friend. But now is not that day."

Everyone else had gone too, the grounds of Laurelmere hushed, their breath crisp and white. The stars twinkled high above them, serene and cold. The gibbous moon shone bright, illuminating Sirius' silver eyes, the shadows emphasising his high cheekbones. Remus placed his arm around Sirius' shoulder. James intertwining his fingers with Lily's other hand. The yellow light from the old house warm and inviting, Harry and Mia already fast asleep, Uncle Reggie and Auntie Minnie sleeping nearby. Sirius wordlessly placed a warming charm over Remus, and he smiled back, a sad smile.

They stayed there, all four of them, for a long time, silently gazing at the stars, watching as white fluffy clouds drifted lazily towards them.

"I can't believe you managed to get David fucking Bowie to play here for two hours!" Sirius said, shaking his head at Lily and James as though still stunned.

"It was a last-minute genius idea," said James with a huge grin. "Lily told me he is due to appear on Top of The Pops in two days' time, so he had to be around. I Teflon'd his agent-"

"Lily Teflon'd-" corrected Sirius.

"Lily telephoned," said Lily with a laugh.

"That, yeah, and then I asked was he available at short notice to sing at my friends' wedding, I heard him say in the background I don't do weddings, so I said do you do gay wizarding weddings, he thought about it for a second and said I do now."

"Incredible!" Sirius said, still utterly elated by it all. "Of course, he was making heart-eyes at Moony the entire time, the wanker, with good reason."

"Padfoot, you're so blind! He - he was literally staring right at you? Singing at you? The entire time?" Remus could hardly talk, smiling so hard he had tears in his eyes.

"Fools, the pair of them," said James, shaking his head primly.

"Pro- James is going to be insufferable, you know," Sirius said.

"You mean more than usual?" Remus raised his brows innocently.

Lily snorted.

James pinched her waist and she squealed with laughter.

Sirius shrugged.

"First, the world-saving sex, now it'll be this finishing off Voldy lark," he said.

"Fuck off, both of you," said James, without bothering to look over. "I didn't waste valuable hours of my time being your biggest shipper for you both to turn on me."

He was smiling down at Lily.

"Harry is their biggest shipper, James, don't lie," Lily said, smiling back.

James' smile grew.

"I taught him well," he said, as Lily stood on her toes and kissed his lips.

"Harry is so fucking cute," Sirius said, with a soft laugh.

"He makes my heart melt," Remus said.

They knew Remus was only getting used to the idea that he could be there for Harry, that he wouldn't be a danger to him, and it was such an endearing sight.

"Merlin, I love you," said Sirius in a low voice, kissing Remus' jaw.

The white clouds drew closer.

"They're not all gone, you know, those bastards," Sirius said, as though continuing a conversation.

"I know," James said. "They'll sort it out, Moody and the others. There's a huge backlash against the Deaters. We don't all need to keep fighting now, unless we want to. And once that's done, there's the issue of the Horcruxes."

Remus nodded.

White, large, fluffy snowflakes began to fall - gentle, lazy, tender, the moon a half-finished disco ball reflecting the soft light. Sirius drew Remus closer. Remus brought their foreheads together and looked at him.

"I married Sirius Black," he said to himself, as though in awe.

"Too late to change your mind, Moony," Sirius smiled at him, flushed with elation, looking suddenly so young, Merlin they were still so young, as Remus placed his hands on either side of his face.

"I have always wanted this, I have never changed," Remus answered.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite."*

"Fuck," said Sirius, with a glorious laugh. "You seduce me with Shakespeare now? I'll have you know, Remus Lupin-Black, je vais te séduire. Je serai ton amant, ton bon garçon amoureux démodé, pour le reste de ma vie. " ***

And they kissed.

"Can you beat Shakespeare, Mr. Potter?" Lily asked.

The snow was landing on her auburn waves, like diamonds.

"Unlike Remus, I was never much good with words, Mrs. Potter," James said. "I do love you more than words can wield the matter.*"

"Show off!" Lily said, with a teasing smile, running her fingers through his hair fondly and sighing. "I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest*."

He placed his hands around her waist and smiled, that cocky, mischievous smile, that burning passion, and lifted her off the ground so that their eyes were level.

"Alright, Evans?" he said, with a more serious look in his eyes. "It's been one fucking thing after another for so long now, I sometimes wonder did you ever regret marrying me? I was daft-"

"The course of true love never did run smooth,*" Lily said, kissing his lips softly. "There is nothing I regret less. This is where I want to be, for the rest of my life."

"You have witchcraft in your lips,*" James said, leaning into her. "I'm yours, until the very end."

And they kissed.

…..

The snowfall deepened.

"What do we do now?" Remus asked.

"Now we dance," Lily said, taking James' hand and twirling them around.

"Why dance?" James said, his eyes alight with gladness, with the joy of having her near, placing his hands around her waist and bringing her close to him.

"Because dancing is for people who are free," said Sirius, as Lily nodded. "Mum would approve."

He looked over at James with a warm sigh.

"Oh she approves, they both do, most definitely," James said. "Doing what you're told and marrying Lupin like a good boy."

Remus snorted. Lily laughed.

"Shut up and dance," Sirius said, his grey eyes shining.

The muggle record started spinning, the tone arm moved, the needle dropped.

I, I can remember (I remember)

And the guns shot above our I, I can remember (I remember)

And the guns shot above our heads (over our heads)

And we kissed as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

And the shame was on the other side

Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

And they danced.

Notes:

** Kintsugi - the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.

***"I will seduce you, Remus Lupin-Black, I will be your good old-fashioned lover boy, for the rest of my life."

* Shakespeare quotes:

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite." – Romeo and Juliet

I do love you more than words can wield the matter." – King Lear

"I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest"- Much Ado About Nothing

"The course of true love never did run smooth" - A Midsummer Night's Dream

"You have witchcraft in your lips" – Henry V

Lyrics from Solsbury Hill – Peter Gabriel (1977)

"My heart going boom, boom, boom

"Hey", he said, "grab your things, I've come to take you home"

Remus' proposal - Quote from Jane Austen's Persuasion (love it)

The ending (dancing after the war ends) reminds me of the ending of Jojo Rabbit and I was always going to finish it with them dancing, so the fact this fic is called We Can Be Heroes and that is the song at the end of that film makes me so happy, really loved that film!

Fuck the Nazis, fuck fascists, fuck Trump, fuck racism, and homophobia and religious bigots, and all bigots, including TERFs. There. Said it.

Notes:

I started writing this because I had two very sick family members, I was desperately worried about and writing helped me feel better and cope with the worry. One of them is now cured and the other is doing much better, and I am so thankful. Your feedback and support honestly kept me going.

Please leave a comment to tell me what you thought about the end! I'm so grateful that you took the time to read this humungous fic and it means so much to me. I'd love to know your thoughts.

PS sorry still finishing epilogue which you can ignore if you want, but it will be up in a few days. Canon (ugh!) ending will be up by 31st Oct, but I think I will post it as a one-shot so I suppose subscribe to my ao3 in general if you want to read it.