The very next day, Tyrion's trial commenced. A tribunal of three judges was hearing the case. The three were Tywin Lannister, Mace Tyrell, and Oberyn Martell.

"Tyrion, did you kill your sister Cersei?" Tywin asked.

"No," Tyrion said baldly.

"Well, that's a relief," said Oberyn Martell.

"It's not going to be that simple," said Tywin. "There are witnesses against Tyrion. We shall hear them first. He may present his own witnesses tomorrow."

"Nice to know I'm going to live for one more day at least," Tyrion japed.

Tywin glared at him. "You are to speak only with our leave!"

First to take the stand were Osney and Osfryd Kettleblack. They told the tale of Tyrion's supper with Cersei before the Battle of the Blackwater, and of the threats he'd made. They conveniently forgot to mention how they had been beating up a prostitute at the time.

"He told her grace that he meant to do her harm," said Osfryd. "To hurt her."

"He said he would wait for a day when she was happy, and make her joy turn to ashes in her mouth," Osney agreed.

"Why don't you tell the court what YOU were doing while this happened?" Tyrion called.

"It's not your turn to speak, Tyrion," said Tywin.

Then Grand Maester Pycelle came up and testified that Tyrion had stolen a bunch of poisons from his chambers.

Tyrion was furious. "The only thing I took from you was those laxatives, which you gave me!"

"Tyrion, I already warned you once," said his father. "Next time you interrupt, I'll have you gagged and chained!"

Tyrion sat back down. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to burst into Pycelle's room, cut off his beard, and have him imprisoned. Who knew that would come back to haunt him?

After Pycelle came the procession. Lords and ladies and noble knights, highborn and humble alike, they had all been present at the wedding feast, had all seen Cersei choke, her face turning as black as a Dornish plum. Even a woman named Lady Merryweather who had come with the Tyrells outright lied and swore she had seen Tyrion dropping something into Cersei's drink at the feast.

Tyrion saw Jaime sitting in the audience, but there was nothing Jaime could do to help him. He hadn't even been allowed to visit Tyrion in his cell. Time and again, Tyrion found his gaze drifting to rest on his brother's new arm. He wondered how Jaime had come by it. One thing was sure, he couldn't ask Jaime to take his part in a trial by combat now.

Varys was the last witness that day. And unlike the others, Varys had documents, parchments painstakingly filled with notes, details, dates, whole conversations. He went on for hours. It was almost like he had been preparing for this trial weeks in advance. The eunuch's testimony hurt Tyrion worse than anything else. He had sort of thought Varys was his friend. How could he have been so naïve?

When Varys was done, Tywin said, "We have just one more witness. We will hear from her tomorrow. Then Tyrion can present his side of the case."

That night Oberyn Martell came to see Tyrion in his cell. "Are the judges at this kangaroo court permitted to visit the accused?" Tyrion asked bitterly.

"I go where I want. I always have," Oberyn said. "I just want you to know that if you decide to have a trial by combat, I'm willing to be your champion."

"You?" Tyrion said. "I had no idea you cared so much about me."

"I don't care about you," the Dornish prince said bluntly. "I care about my sister and her children, who were murdered by Gregor Clegane. Your father won't give me justice, so I'll take it for myself. Best part is, I'm going to put poison on my blade. I just have to nick Clegane once, and he will die, no matter what happens to me!"