I'm sorry it's been so long, I won't bore you with details but I've been dealing with some stuff that made it hard for me to get into a place where I wanted to write anything, but hopefully I'm back in my groove now.
Rachel let her mind wander as she laid on her bed, one arm under her head, her other hand stroking Jasper as he laid beside her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this content. This summer break had genuinely been one of the best times of her life. She'd been to Mexico with her family, she'd been to the beach, she'd been on a boat. She'd been to the movies, to a theme park, she'd hung out in the park with her friends, been on dates with her boyfriend, and, just to make things even better, Shelby and Rachel had spent four days the previous week in Chicago. They'd made a list of places they'd like to visit and eventually decided that, this time, they'd make the most of the fact Jim still had an apartment in the city that he wouldn't be using, and they used that as their base for four whole days.
Rachel had been surprised when Shelby had told Rachel that she'd be driving them to Chicago, she'd spoken to Jimmy, knowing he always drove, and he told her that, in the time it took to drive to the airport, he could be halfway to Chicago, and, after factoring time to check in, the flight time and the time it would take to get from the airport to his apartment, it just seemed quicker to drive. Shelby also knew that a lot was going on in Rachel's life, she had a boyfriend, a supportive group of friends and she was about to return to school full time. It wasn't anything that most people would see as 'life changing' but Shelby knew her daughter, and she also knew that if she drove to Chicago, they'd get plenty of time to talk through anything Rachel had on her mind.
It had worked, knowing that Shelby wasn't 100% focused on her gave Rachel the confidence to be more open to her Mom about her worries than if they were sat side by side on the couch and Shelby was able to reassure Rachel about a lot of things. Her main worry was that she wouldn't be able to keep up with her schoolwork once she returned full time, so, as she already had several times, Shelby reminded Rachel that nobody expected perfection from her. She told her that it was okay if Rachel couldn't manage full time straight away and needed to slowly work back to it, she pointed out how Rachel had managed to keep up with her work at home and promised that she wouldn't mind paying for extra one to one tuition if Rachel needed it.
Rachel jumped, broken from her thoughts about their trip to Chicago by Jasper standing up and climbing straight onto Rachel's stomach, purring contently as he made himself comfortable, "well" she chuckled as she ran her hand down his back, "I hadn't forgotten you were laying with me you know, the bed is plenty comfortable, you don't need to use me as an extra pillow."
It was the last week of the summer break and Shelby was just putting the final touches to a few things before she went into school at the end of the week, the teaching staff having two days to prepare what they needed to in the school before students returned. Rachel had originally planned on watching a movie in her room to let her Mom work, but she'd quickly lost herself in her thoughts. She chuckled slightly as Jasper pawed gently at her when she stopped stroking him. Sometimes she still felt like this was a dream. She had a home, a safe place to live, she was warm, she had clean clothes, she was allowed to eat whenever she felt hungry. She had a bedroom, an actual bedroom with a lock on the inside of the door not the outside. Her bed was warm and comfortable and she knew that it would never be taken from her. And she had a parent, a mother who loved her unconditinally, a mother who had been forced to take her in, but had never complained, has simply loved her, even on her worst days, without complaint. She was allowed to have friends, to do things, go places, she was allowed to live.
Shelby headed upstairs once she'd finished what she had to do, intending to watch the rest of the movie with her daughter, hoping to spend as much time as possible with her before school started. She couldn't help but smile as she stood in the doorway to Rachel's room, the TV on top of the dresser was turned off and Rachel was fast asleep on her bed, Jasper sleeping on her stomach. Shelby watched Rachel for a moment longer before stepping into the room, taking Rachel's blanket from the bottom of the bed and laying it over her daughter's legs, "sweet dreams my beautiful girl" she whispered, placing a gentle kiss to Rachel's forehead.
"Mom?" Rachel stirred slightly, slowly opening one eye.
"Yeah" Shelby smiled, running her hand over Rachel's head, brushing her hair back from her face, "go back to sleep baby."
Rachel clumsily patted at the bed beside her, "lay with me?"
"Of course" Shelby laid down beside her daughter, "I love you" she whispered as Rachel's eyes closed again.
"I know" Rachel murmured as sleep overtook her once again, "I love you too."
Rachel didn't sleep for much longer, just ten minutes after Shelby joined her, Jasper woke, the cat waking Rachel as he moved from her stomach, jumping off the bed and slipping through the crack in the door. "Hi" Rachel smiled sleepily at her Mom.
"Hi" Shelby smiled as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair, "good nap?"
"Yeah" Rachel yawned and stretched before reaching down to pull the covers up over herself, "I didn't mean to fall asleep though."
"That's okay, you can nap if you need to."
"Jasper fell asleep on me" Rachel pouted, "he made me sleepy."
Shelby laughed, "when your cousins were tiny, I used to nap with them all the time, there's something about cuddling something, or someone small, cuddly and warm."
"And you nap with me too" Rachel smiled, rolling onto her side to face Shelby.
"I do" Shelby gently tapped Rachel's nose with her index finger, "like I said, small, cuddly and warm."
Rachel chuckled, "It's one of my favourite things about living here" she admitted, "that you'll snuggle with me. I always feel safe when you're holding me."
"I'm glad to hear that, because whether I'm holding you or not, I will always do everything in my power to keep you safe, and I know the rest of your family would do the same. And we can snuggle whenever you want Baby."
"Have you finished what you needed to do?"
"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I came up to watch the movie with you" she chuckled.
"Oh, well, we could put one on now if you want?"
Shelby reached over, grabbing the tv remote from the table by the bed, passing it to Rachel as she told her, "that sounds good to me."
As Rachel lost herself in the movie, Shelby lost herself in her daughter. She couldn't believe the girl sat beside her was the same girl who'd been dumped on her doorstep in the middle of a storm just a few short months ago. She was in no doubt that Rachel's recovery was far from over, but she was still in awe of just how far she'd come. It seemed strange sometimes that the girl who'd once spent the night sleeping on her mother's bedroom floor now, confidently, chose where she was going to sleep each night, that she was beginning to feel comfortable sleeping in her own bed again, her sleep no longer plagued by nightmares. Rachel had friends who supported her, who pushed her just enough, encouraging her to step out of her comfort zone but respecting her boundaries, she had a boyfriend, she was about to return to school. She'd made so much progress since she'd moved in with Shelby and she couldn't help but be proud of he daughter.
Once the movie finished, Shelby excused herself to go check on the laundry, "I'll be down in a minute" Rachel told her, "maybe, if you don't have other plans we could go out for a walk?"
"I don't have any plans" Shelby kissed Rachel's temple, "and a walk sounds great to me."
Rachel made her way downstairs about fifteen minutes after Shelby, going straight over to where her Mom was sat on the couch, "I erm, I don't need a ride to the running group tonight" she said as she sat down beside Shelby.
"Okay" Shelby smiled, "are you giving it a miss this week?" Rachel had told Shelby that Quinn was away visiting her grandparents this week, and Rachel had been in two minds about whether she felt comfortable running on her own or not.
Rachel shook her head, "I spoke to Aunt Amy yesterday." That didn't surprise Shelby, she knew her sister and her daughter spoke to each other several times a week, "she said Uncle Jimmy was home this week and I, I remembered he went running when we were on vacation, so I called him just now and asked if he'd come with me, he said he has to drive past the end of our street to get there so he could pick me up if I wanted."
"That's great" Shelby smiled, she loved how confident Rachel was becoming around her brother in law, as he'd promised in Mexico, Jim had taken Rachel swimming twice already so she could practice. She knew she didn't see her biological brothers as often as she saw her brother in law, but she hoped that, one day, Rachel would be just as comfortable with Matt and Luke as she was with Jimmy. "How about I call Amy, see about either us going over there, or her and the kids coming over here so we can all have dinner together after your run?"
Rachel nodded and smiled, "I'd like that, and I don't mind where we eat" Rachel answered the question before Shelby could ask it, "as long as I can shower if we go to Aunt Amy's."
"I'm sure she won't mind that at all" Shelby smiled, "I'll call her in a little while."
After finding that her sister was struggling with insomnia, but still wanted to see Shelby and Rachel, Shelby decided that she'd drive over to Amy's, and that they'd order in, so, as Rachel hopped into Jimmy's truck, Shelby got into her own car and drove over to her sister's. "Do you know how long they'll be?" Amy asked as she and Shelby sat on the couch together. Lily and Max had greeted their aunt, but, after finding out Rachel wouldn't be joining them until later, they'd gone to play in their bedrooms.
"Not too long" Shelby shrugged, "Rachel and her friend usually join the 5k run and do it in little over 30 minutes. They're going to try the 10k in a couple of weeks."
"Don't tell Rachel but Jim ran 10k this morning so he's probably going to be relieved that she isn't ready for that yet" Amy admitted.
Shelby frowned, "he… Why didn't he say something?"
"He knows how much it must have taken for Rachel to call him and ask if he'd join her, he said she was so nervous she was stumbling over her words and he had to try and calm her down a little before he could work out what she was asking, he didn't want to say no to her. And between you and me, I think the fact that she's beginning to trust him like this means the world to him."
"I was surprised when she told me she'd asked him" Shelby said honestly, "when she told me she didn't need a lift, I thought she'd decided not to go."
Rachel had a huge smile on her face when she walked into the house a little while later, "she's good!" Jim told his wife and sister in law.
"I beat my pb!" Rachel beamed excitedly, both Amy and Shelby congratulating her, Rachel refusing to hug her aunt until she'd showered.
"I told her to set the pace and I'd keep up with her" Jim explained, "and I did, but it was a struggle" he chuckled before telling Rachel, "Amy made sure there were clean towels in the kids bathroom for you" as Shelby passed over the bag of clean clothes that Rachel had asked her to bring over.
Rachel nodded and headed for the stairs before stopping and turning towards her uncle, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly, taking him by surprise but he was quick to return the hug, "thank you for coming with me".
Jim smiled, feeling his heart swell with pride at the fact that Rachel, the girl who'd tried to hide the first time she'd met him, now felt comfortable enough to hug him without warning. "Anytime" he told her, "and not just as a running buddy, anytime you need me I'll be there Rach. I promise."
