Chapter 41 – Nevaeh de Montignac

Her mind was foggy. Her head hurt. Her mouth was like the Saharan Desert, dried and parched. Her skin was clammy. But she didn't want to open her eyes just yet.

Nevaeh wondered how much she had had to drink, the previous evening. She remembered drinking that super sweet orange-colored pumpkin-spiced punch, and dancing, too. Lots of dancing. As the memories of the previous night came back, Nevaeh was more and more terrified that she had done something that she didn't remember. But maybe everyone had been too drunk to even notice what she was doing. Sure, she had an image to keep up with but sometimes – just sometimes – she needed to let it all go and actually have fun.

She pulled the covers higher, melting into the bed. But– the covers seemed to be tugging as if they were blocked by something…

Or someone?

Nevaeh opened her eyes and once and looked around her. Bad idea. The light coming through the curtains was blinding and she covered her face with the scratchy cover– What the–

This time, Nevaeh forced her eyes open, even though the light was too strong for her own good. This was definitely not her bed. Nor her room. She was too scared to look next to her, to where the covers were tugging. Instead, she looked under the covers and realized she was naked. As in, very naked. Nothing. Not even panties or a bra. Nada.

"Oh, God," she murmured.

What had she done? She took a deep breath and looked at the person next to her: dark brown messy curls, bushy eyebrows, and his short but neatly cut beard.

"Oh, God," she said again, shutting her eyes tight. This was a nightmare, right? She was still trapped in a nightmare, right? Please?

She opened her eyes again, but Jesse Flynn was still there, right next to her, sleeping like a happy baby. He had a smile on his face and Nevaeh wanted to run away as fast as possible. But she didn't, because she didn't want to wake him up. So as slowly as necessary but as quickly as possible, she pushed the covers away and looked for her clothes on the floor. The problem was that her costume was close to what Jesse was wearing all the time, so it was harder to find her stuff.

At least she found her undergarments quickly and put these on.

Jesse turned over in the bed and Nevaeh froze, afraid she might have woken him, but thank goodness she didn't. She quickly put her clothes on and tiptoed out of the room, her shoes in her hands. The whole Palace was still sleeping, and apart from some on-duty guards and an early-rising staff member, she didn't see anyone. She made her way to her room on the third floor and locked herself in it. She dumped all of her clothes in a heap on the floor – Hanna would take care of them – and hurried to the luxurious bathroom, turning on the water for a shower: she needed to scrub everything away.

When she stepped into the shower, she let the hot water sting her back and head. The Duchess started laughing, though. How could she have been so stupid? She had never been that drunk before– what was in that stupid punch?

She scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was raw and when she came out, she just stood there, naked, in the middle of the bathroom. There was steam everywhere so she couldn't even see herself in the mirror, but she just stood there. It wasn't her first time, nor her fist one-night-stand – if one could call it that – but with Jesse? Really?

She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. But since she had already laughed in the shower at her stupidity, she might as well cry, now. She grabbed a thick pink towel from the wall and wrapped it around her shoulders before sitting on the bathroom carpet and crying.

What was wrong with her? She had kept her head high since July, and now suddenly everything was ruined just because of one mistake? Was it worth it to cry over that?

"No," Nevaeh said, talking to herself. "Not worth it." She wiped her face with the towel and stood, drying herself up. She wrapped a second towel around her hair and went back to her room to choose her new set of clothes for the day: something business-like, something that would not betray what they had done. Who was they? What had been done? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

She didn't call Hanna for once, letting her sleep. Nevaeh could take care of herself and she dried her hair and did her makeup on her own. It wasn't as good as what Hanna could do, but it would suffice. Once she was done, she stood by the window and stared at the tree-line in the distance. It was still dark-ish outside, and she felt comfort in the darkness, right now.

Unconsciously, she put a hand on her belly, as if something was bothering her, there, but she didn't have a tummy ache or anything. She rubbed a spot there and–

"Merde!" she said, swearing in French. She quickly took her hand away. Had they used a condom? Oh God, please, Nevaeh silently prayed. She wasn't a believer or a church-goer or anything, but drastic situations called for drastic measures. And since she had absolutely no recollection of the details of the previous night after her umpteenth punch, there was no way she would know if they had used a condom. She should have looked around the room before leaving like a thief in the night.

Nevaeh knew that the Palace would still be asleep for some time, but she still felt that she needed to be in the dining room to greet the guests for breakfast. Most of the families had retired much earlier than the Selected, so they might be coming down early. Early as in before 9 a.m.

She checked the time on her phone: 8:07. Good, still early. She checked her reflection in the mirror one last time, took an Aspirin for the dull headache that was threatening to become stronger, and went downstairs, her heels clicking on the floor and echoing between the walls.

The Brunch buffet table was already laid out with food – much more than usual, but that's what happened when you host more than 50 people at once – and she wondered if she could start eating already. She wasn't that hungry, but she needed to do something or she would start spiraling again about last night. She checked the time again: 8:15. Why was time going so slowly, at the moment?

"Oh, et puis, tant pis," she mumbled to herself, deciding to eat. With no one around, she could fill her plate more than usual, no one would say anything. She headed to the buffet and indulged herself in waffles, whipped cream, cheese, fruits, and a large cup of coffee. When she turned around to go to her seat, she saw Jesse standing in the doorframe.

"Good morning!" he said with a mischievous smile on his face. "How are you?"

Nevaeh simply ignored him and went to her seat. She opened her napkin, put it in her lap, and started eating without a second glance at Jesse. Right now, she didn't want to acknowledge him or anything that had to do with him. She didn't even look at him in his grey checkered suit with a purple bowtie.

But from the corner of her eye, she noticed him also going to the buffet table and filling himself a plate. A few moments later, he was sitting next to her. There was still no one else in the dining room.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked after putting his plate and hot drink down.

"Perfectly fine."

"Are we, uh, going to talk about–"

"Absolutely not."

"But why? I mean it–"

"We don't talk about it," Nevaeh snapped. "Ever. Do you understand?"

Jesse clammed his mouth shut and nodded. Good. The more she terrified him, the less he'd talk. Right?

"Just tell me one thing and we never talk about this ever again," she said. Because she needed to know. Jesse nodded, waiting. "Did we, or did we not," she whispered before looking around the room to make sure there was no one there, "use a condom?"

Jesse blanched, and that was all she needed to know. Fuck.

"Fuck," he said, echoing her thoughts.

They both ate in silence for some time, until the first family came in with their selected daughter: Malia.

"Good morning!" Nevaeh said with her brightest and most cheerful voice she could do as if nothing weird had happened and she didn't have a headache. The Aspirin still hadn't taken effect.

-o-0-o-

On Sunday, everyone had more or less recovered from the party and the families had all been driven back to the airport to catch afternoon flights, leaving the Selected alone after four days with their families. The only people who had stayed behind were Henri and her mother while her father had gone back to France.

"Henri, why are you still here?" Nevaeh asked when she came back from sending off the last family.

"You're not happy to have your favorite little brother around?" he asked with a smirk, his muddy green eyes sparkling with mischief.

"It's not that, it's just– You do know this is a Selection and that the girls are not for you, right?"

"Of course!"

"Good, I was just making sure." She paused. "So… why are you here?"

Henri, towering above her by a good few inches, looped his arm around her shoulders. "For one, I haven't seen you in action for a long time, and I missed you. Second, I'm happy to be with my cousins–"

"You mean Nathan."

"I mean my three cousins, thank you very much," he corrected. "And thirdly, I don't really have anything better to do at the moment. I was wandering aimlessly over Europe, doing nothing interesting in the slightest." He paused and took off his arm from her shoulders. "So here I am. And if you need some help, just ask!"

Nevaeh snorted. "As if you've ever organized an event, let alone one that lasts several months."

"Hey! You know I'm good with my brain and–"

"Hi, Henri!" a female voice said, coming over.

"Mais, bonjour, Mademoiselle Ramirez," he said smirking and taking her hand in his, kissing her knuckles. Nevaeh had to admit that he was quite the charmer, even better than Nathan in that matter. Where Nathan was a huge flirt and aiming for one thing only, Henri knew how to please a woman before getting to that, too. "What can I do for you?" Oh, and she was sure that the girls would love his French accent. It was much more pronounced than hers.

Pallas looked at Nevaeh but quickly dismissed her. "I was wondering if we could go over what we talked about yesterday…?"

"With pleasure," he replied, giving her his most charming smile. "Nev, I'll see you later."

And with that, he offered her his arm and they walked away. Nevaeh sighed. Why was everyone finding love and she was just here, getting tangled in some stupid one-night-stand mess with Jes– Nope. Nevaeh didn't even want to think about it. It was so utterly ridiculous.

Why was everyone so very happy around her? Couldn't people just show their happiness elsewhere? Because she really wasn't in the mood, right now. And there was her Uncle Toby's birthday party this evening. Thank goodness she hadn't had to organize it. He just wanted something simple, and that's what he'd get. Usually, he had his parents and some of his siblings come over, but with the Selection, the Halloween party, and the Selected's families, everyone wanted to have some peace and quiet.

Nevaeh knew she had a couple of hours before the birthday dinner, and she decided to take some me-time. She took a deep breath and headed to her room.

"Nevaeh?"

Nevaeh recognized that voice. And she did not want to talk to him. Not now, not ever again. So, she ignored him and walked faster, her heels clicking on the marble tiles.

"Neveah, please!" Jesse insisted. He ran and stopped in front of her. "Please can we just talk?"

"No. We can't." She pushed past him, but Jesse grabbed her wrist. He wasn't hurting her, but it was just tight enough that she couldn't get out of his grip. "Jesse, get your hands off me," she hissed.

"That's not what you said last night," he said softly.

But it didn't help and it infuriated her even more. She snatched her arm away and left, half running, half walking. Don't trip, don't trip, dontttripdonttripdonttrip… she repeated over and over until she was in her room, to which she slammed the door and turned the lock, listening. But it was silent: Jesse had not followed her. Or anyone else for that matter.

Nevaeh quickly took off her clothes and put on matching sweatpants and hoodie, grabbed a blanket that she threw on the couch, gathered her hair in a loose bun, and sat at her vanity to put on a face mask. She applied it in angry movements, but the eucalyptus smell and the aloe vera mushiness of the mask made her relax a little. Just a little.

Once that was done, she lit some candles on the coffee table, grabbed a box of cookies and a bottle of rosé with a glass, grabbed her book, and slumped into the couch, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. How was it that the only place and moment that she could be 100% herself was only in her room and when she was alone? Would there ever be someone with whom she could share this cozy moment with a book and a blanket? And a face mask?

Nevaeh snorted and found the page where she was at.

After reading the same paragraph three times in a row, Nevaeh slammed the book shut. She couldn't even do a simple thing like reading a stupid New Adult Steamy Romance. Was that really a good idea to read that, now? Why was the guy always super-hot with amazing abs, a full bank account, and why was the girl snarky and funny? And why were there always amazing steamy moments?

Ugh.

She couldn't even remember the last night. How pathetic was that?

There was a soft knock on her door. "What!" she said, snapping at whoever was behind the door.

"Nev, are you okay?"

Nevaeh softened instantly. How did Valerian always know when someone was having a bad day? "Come in, Val."

She heard the doorknob wiggling. "Uh… it's locked."

"Oh, right!" Nevaeh quickly went to the door and unlocked it. "Sorry," she said, chuckling awkwardly.

"You don't have to be sorry, sometimes we nee–" He cut himself short with a single laugh. "Nice color," he said, seeing her face. He looked around and noticed the candles, the blanket, the book, the mask, and the outfit. "That bad?" he asked, making a face.

"Yeah…" Neveah admitted, her shoulders slumping. "Come sit. You want a cookie?"

"No, I'm good." He sat on the side of the couch that wasn't covered in blankets. "So, wanna tell me what's going on? Or...?"

"Not really," Nevaeh said. There was no way on earth she was telling him about last night– "I'm just tired," she said. It wasn't really a lie, to be honest. She was tired.

"Physically, or of the Selection?"

"Both." Nevaeh wrapped herself in the blanket again. Her mask had dried on her face, but she didn't want to take it off just yet. Maybe it would hide her emotions from Val. She could say things, and her face would say something else. She sighed. "I guess I'm just tired after Friday's party and I haven't recovered from that, and with the Selection going on, I always have to be at the top of everything, ready for anything. It's exhausting."

"Yeah, I totally get that," he said. "But you're going great, honestly." He offered her a smile. "I really don't know who else mom could have asked to do this, you know?"

"Aw, thank you. You're sweet." She shifted her position on the couch. "How about you? How is college?"

"I'm really happy to be able to do that at the same time as the Selection, but I can't wait to go on campus." He laughed softly. "I'm tired, too."

Nevaeh nodded. "Yeah, November does that, as well," she said. "With the days getting shorter and shorter, the cold, and just… November." She gestured vaguely towards the window

"I know! I hate November," Val said. "There's absolutely nothing in November– except Thanksgiving, but that's at the end of the month. Until then, it's empty."

Nevaeh nodded and they stayed like that, silent, looking at the candles' flickering flames on the table. "How is the Selection going on for you?" she asked. "You have your Elite, but are you any closer to choosing your girl?"

Val let out a soft chuckle and rubbed at a spot behind his neck. "I wish I could tell you that I was closer but the truth is… all these five girls are absolutely amazing and it breaks my heart to dismiss four of them, you know?"

Nevaeh nodded. "But you'll have to, eventually…"

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, tell me what you like most about each! Maybe this will help…?" Nevaeh made an awkward movement with her face. "Actually, give me just a couple of minutes to wash this off." Without waiting for his reply, she went to the bathroom to wash off her mask and dry her face. She also took her hair down and ran her fingers in it, then came back. "Okay, sorry about that."

"No problem," he said. "So, the thing I like most in each, huh?" He smiled as he thought about it. "I'll just go in no particular order, okay? So, uhm. Eve! I like her kindness. I mean, she's been through so much but it didn't make her bitter or sad, you know? Also, she knows so many things about the stars and the Universe, I think it's pretty cool." Val grinned and Nevaeh nodded, smiling.

"Yes, that is pretty cool," she said.

"Ashia is also super soft," he continued, "but also super funny and she's not afraid to get dirty, you know? She loves the small things in life, yet she strives for the big ones, too. I wish I could have her view on life."

"You do, Val," she said. "You enjoy the small things like right now, hanging out with your old cousin and just talking, yet you want to get that degree so you can help Silas with his kingly duties in the future. If that's not small and big things, then I don't know what is."

"Huh. I never thought of it that way!" Val said, grinning. "Thanks!"

Nevaeh took a cookie and offered him one, which he accepted this time. "How about the others? Tell me about Malia."

Val took a deep breath and smiled. "Malia… she's a whole story in and of herself. She's so full of joy and love and it's so contagious! Everyone who spends just a moment with her simply comes back refreshed and happy, you know?" He frowned. "I realized I haven't really talked about the serious stuff with her, though. Maybe I should do that soon…"

"Does it bother you that she wasn't wearing only white, at the ball?" Nevaeh asked. "She was wearing blue as well, for Silas, though she wasn't on his list anymore."

"Right," he said frowning. "I kinda forgot about that. Do you think she still has a crush on him? I mean, it's clear enough that Silas has eyes only for Ximena, now that they're engaged– damn, this is still so weird to say!"

Nevaeh laughed. "I don't know, but you might want to have a chat with her about that, at some point."

"True."

"Okay, what about Dyani and Odessa?"

"Both really sweet ladies," he said with a soft smile on his face. "Did you know Dyani has been writing a story about the Selection? And that she had written down who she guessed the winners were going to be, already?"

"Oh, really? And was she right for Silas?"

"Yes. It wasn't hard to guess that one," he said, chuckling.

"And who has she written down for you and Nate, then?"

He laughed. "I think she wrote Abigail for Nathan and Ashia for me." He rolled his eyes, still laughing. "Oh, and she also told me her story, once– not the one she wrote, her story."

"Oh? Anything interesting?"

"She told me about her previous boyfriend, and how he died in a car accident." He paused. "She also told me that she had been pregnant and that she didn't know soon enough to tell him."

"Wait, she has a kid?" Nevaeh said, sitting up, frowning.

"No, she lost the baby after three months."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Nevaeh said. "That's awful!" Unconsciously, again, she put her hand on her belly. Could she–? No, it was too soon to know. She sighed. "And what about Odessa?" she said, changing the subject. "You did kiss her pretty passionately on that pumpkin date." She smirked and was glad when Val's cheeks turned pink.

"Yeah…" he said. "Did you know she talks to flowers and plants and gives them names?" he asked, laughing softly. "It's the most adorable thing in the world. But I'm kinda sad she didn't invite her family for Halloween," he said. "I would have wanted to meet them, too."

"From what I understand, she's had some troubles with her family in the past," Nevaeh said.

"Yeah, I know." He chuckled. "So yeah, you see? They're all adorable and I couldn't possibly choose one. I'm stuck."

"I see." Nevaeh thought for a moment and then sighed. "I really don't know what to tell you. But maybe you can do another round of dates and really get talking about the serious things? Because you can't just marry all of them. But," she said when Val was going to say something, "these girls seem to be close friends, so you probably won't lose them completely. Whoever you choose will want to stay in contact with them."

Val nodded, but he was still very much in the dark about who his heart loved most…

-o-0-o-

That evening, the whole household gathered in the big dining room redecorated for the occasion to celebrate Prince Tobias' 54th birthday. It was loud, bright, and cozy, and some of the girls had decided to do some kind of talent show for the Prince.

Jenissa and Silas played a piano and violin piece for him; Dyani sang a song and played along with a guitar; Laelia wrote a short story that she read out loud for everyone; and a group of girls just did a small scene recreating a moment in the Selection for everyone to laugh about.

Everyone just loved the Prince: he was kind, funny, and even though he didn't interact much with the Selected, the few times he had, they had all enjoyed it. He was like the cool dad the girls needed during the Selection.

They ended the evening in one of the parlors, listening to music, talking, drinking, and having some relaxed good time.

Nevaeh was sitting on an armchair, her feet tucked under her, and with a warm cup of tea in her hands. She surveyed the room and tried to see patterns among the Selected and the boys. Of course, Silas and Ximena were glued together, but that was nothing new. Nathan was always the center of attention of most of his girls. Laelia and Pallas were more drawn to Henri, though Henri seemed to only have eyes and a charming smile for the Belcourt Socialite. If it went on like that, he couldn't be surprised if Laelia's next book had a character based on him who she killed in a gory way.

Valerian was also having a good time with his Elite and his dad, playing a game of UNO and genuinely having a good time out of it. Auntie Lena was with her sister and her mother, and Nevaeh didn't feel like interrupting them. She felt out of place and alone if she really had to admit it. Sydney, Otis, and Jesse had not really been invited, but they hadn't asked to come either.

Why did her thoughts keep coming back to Jesse? Now of all times when she was surrounded by her family and the remaining Selected. They had become like family, though she was a bit more reluctant in admitting. From Savages, they had become Ladies, and now Family? Too much.

Neveah discreetly slipped out of the room without anyone noticing and sighed a sigh of relief when she was out. It was getting stuffy in there, anyway.

Her heels clicked and resonated in the empty halls, so she took them off and wandered around, carrying her shoes. She wasn't really thinking about where she was going and suddenly found herself in front of Jesse's bedroom. She could hear some music coming from inside. Either he was watching a movie, or he was working while listening to some music. Either way, there was no way she was going to knock on his door. What the hell was she even doing there?

Nevaeh huffed and headed to her own room for an early retirement to bed: she needed her beauty sleep and some good hours of sleep after the previous night. The dull ache that had been throbbing just behind her left eye all day would probably go away with some sleep. At least she hoped so.


Heyyy! So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Nevaeh has very mixed feelings, and Val is still not any closer to choosing his One... oh, well...

anyway, I'll see you all on Saturday with a new chapter, where there will be 2 real eliminations *gasp*!


Translations:

Merde! = Shit!

Oh, et puis tant pis… = Oh, well. Just forget it…

Mais Bonjour, Mademoiselle Ramirez! = Why, good morning, Miss Ramirez!