Author's Note: some more weight-related stuff in this chapter, though not very much
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
It was weird being back in Study Group. Most of them were happy to see him back, including Twycross and Craft although his welcome was in a very sneering voice. He also got a little bit of a smirk when they began working on their homework and Remus was very lost. He had been trying to catch up with the notes Lily gave him, but had spent a lot of his free time sleeping or hanging out with the Marauders since he had missed them so much.
"He's so annoying," Lily complained after they left the library. "That stupid, insufferable look he got every time you seemed confused. URGH! You've been gone a week! Anyway, you're a million times smarter than him—oh." She stopped walking, and Remus almost ran into her. "Can I help you?"
Regulus was blocking the hall. "Lupin, could we talk a moment?" he asked.
"Er..." It was past curfew for the first year, but Remus opted not to point that out. "Of course. I'll c-catch up with you, L—Lily."
He followed Regulus to a rarely used corridor where the younger boy simply stood and looked at him, as if expecting something. Remus shifted, not sure what to say.
"S—sorry I w-w-wasn't able to help Sunday—"
"No, it's fine," Regulus interrupted. "Ah, I know you were—" He stopped, tugging awkwardly at his tie. "In any case, I wanted to tell you that you don't need to help, I figure you're probably busy—"
"Oh! I d-d-don't mind, honestly, if you w-want to get to—get together this Sunday," Remus cut in quickly. "I enjoy h-helping."
Now Regulus had a very strange expression. "Er, well, if you really don't mind..."
"I don't," he promised. "Besi—sides, it helps me. Tutoring, I m-mean. Going over the—the things I've l-learned before."
"All right. That—all right. I better go, it's after my curfew."
"I'll help, I kn—know back r-routes to avoid pre—prefects," Remus offered, and Regulus accepted.
Remus guided him through secret passages leading down to the dungeon, and left him down the hall from the Slytherin common room. Once he saw Regulus disappear through the door, Remus turned to head back and ran right into someone. It was a main hall, not a secret passage, so it didn't surprise him that anyone else was there.
Unfortunately, it was Malfoy.
"What are you doing, snooping around our area?" Malfoy demanded, grabbing Remus's arm tightly.
"N-n-n-nothing, not—not s-snooping!" he yelped, trying to twist his arm free. "Was h-helping—"
Malfoy twisted harder, and Remus gasped as it was turned back in a painful, awkward manner. "I don't like Gryffindors trying to nose around the Slytherin common room. Especially someone like you or your friends." He jerked Remus's arm higher. "Don't even think about trying to break into our common room, Loopy, because you can't get in."
Remus quickly bit back the retort that he had been in the Slytherin common room already. He wasn't that stupid. "I w-w-won't, now pl—please—"
Malfoy pushed even more, and Remus thought his shoulder might pop out of socket. It felt on the verge of doing so when Malfoy let go, giving Remus a shove. Before Remus could react, Malfoy's wand was out and there was a crunching sound as pain exploded in his nose. Malfoy swept past, laughing as Remus staggered and clutched at his face. Blood poured down through his fingers. He glared at Malfoy's back, wanting badly to hex him back. Instead he turned and headed back to the common room, glad he didn't need to see Pomfrey to get it fixed; she'd want to know what happened, and he didn't want to turn it into a his-word-against-Malfoy's type of thing.
By the time he reached the seventh floor he was healed up, though there was still blood all over his hands and clothes. As soon as he went through the portrait, Lily was on him, originally wanting to know what was going on with Regulus but getting worried when she saw the blood.
"You ran into a wall again, didn't you?" she asked with a frown. "It certainly wasn't Black, was it? The Slytherin, I mean, not Sirius."
Remus swallowed, shaking his head. "Not him. I—I t-tripped." He hated lying but didn't plan on telling anyone what really happened, not even the other Marauders. It was over and done with. Getting revenge against Malfoy for what he did to Aegis was one thing, getting revenge for what he did to Remus wasn't as important.
"How come Pomfrey didn't clean the blood up?"
"Oh! Er, I—I didn't go," he said nervously. "It's not too bad, more blood than anything else. I've got some potion up in my dorm. I—I didn't want Pomfrey to know I did that again, especially after everything that happened when I was at home."
Did that sound all right? Was it too suspicious? She was looking at him with a semi-suspicious expression. Had he messed up?
"At home?" she asked.
"Y—yes, when my mum wasn't doing well? I lost the weight from stress?"
Lily gave him a very odd expression now. "Er."
"Er what?"
"N—nothing..."
"What?" he demanded. "What is it?"
Lily sighed, pushing some hair back. "Remus, everyone knows you were in Saint Mungo's, all right? Everyone knows you were sick again, really bad this time. I understand—"
"What?" he asked again, this time annoyed. "What do you mean?"
"It's... obvious." She gave him a once over. "You lost so much weight. It was from your illness, right? A very bad relapse? You went to Saint Mungo's, didn't you?"
All Remus could do was stare at her.
"That's what people are saying—"
"N-no they're not," he stammered. "It—I'm not—nobody—nobody does." He tried to remember if he heard anyone say anything about Saint Mungo's. "How come this is the first I've heard about it, then? If everyone says so?"
Lily screwed her face up. "Your friends," she informed him. "Wednesday at lunch. They sort've... told everyone it's none of our business what was going on with you, we shouldn't bother you, and if anyone harassed you about what happened then Black was going to put fireworks in their underwear and bulbadox powder in their beds. As well as a few other less savory threats. I mean frankly, I agree with them, it's nobody's business but—"
"Excuse me," he said and stormed up the stairs where his friends were kicking a Quaffle around. He slammed the door shut, and folded his arms, glaring at them.
"Welcome back!" James said brightly.
"What's with the glaring?" Pete asked.
"YOU SAID MY EXCUSE ABOUT THE STRESS WAS BELIEVABLE!" he shouted, and immediately all three looked guilty. "YOU LIED!"
"Um, wh—what makes you think your excuse wasn't believable?" Sirius asked lightly.
"Lily told me you threatened everyone on Wednesday!" he snapped. The guilty faces became guiltier. "I thought—"
James stepped forward. "All right, yeah, okay, we did. We wanted to help." Remus scowled at him. "Look, we knew it would make you stressed out if you were worried what others might think, so we... er, took care of it. We made sure nobody would bug you about it. To help."
Remus shook his head. "It's not—I wasn't—"
"You've got blood on you," Sirius noted.
"Don't change the subject!" Remus took a few steps, needing to sit down since he was feeling really exhausted. "Why didn't you tell me I looked so terrible? I..."
"You what? Would have missed classes?" Sirius pressed. "You?"
"It would have been nice to know my excuse wasn't believable," he muttered, rubbing his head.
"You lost a lot of weight," Peter said anxiously. "I mean, a lot a lot. What were we supposed to say? That you looked like a skeleton and should stay in bed? Would you have listened to us?"
Remus sniffled at that, knowing perfectly well he wouldn't have.
James sank down on the bed next to him. "Remus, we care about you, and maybe we should have tried to convince you to stay in the hospital wing, but we didn't expect you to come back so quickly. I mean, we only knew when we came into class and bam, there you were. Where the other Gryffindors already saw you." He put a hand on Remus's too thin shoulder. "Telling you nobody would believe your excuse would do what? People knew you were back. At that point all we could really do is try to help you not worry so much."
"By threatening people?" He tried to sound angry but his voice fell flat.
"It is our specialty," Sirius pointed out.
Remus stared down at his hands. They were so small. His wrists were still thin. Everything about him was still thin. He had been extremely delusional to think he could get away with it. No wonder McGonagall tried to talk him out of it. He should have listened to her. He was such an idiot. A delusional idiot. He fooled himself into believing what he wanted to believe.
"Don't worry about it." Sirius crouched in front of him, smiling. "The worst thing people think is that you were at Saint Mungo's."
"Really sick," Peter added. "That's all."
Remus twisted his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry, I—I shouldn't have gotten so mad.
"It's fine," James promised. "Now, let's get your mind off of it. Party a bit tonight."
"I'm just going to go ahead and get ready for bed—"
"But it's so early!" James said.
"Yeah, we were gonna stay up in the common room," added Pete.
"I'm too tired for that tonight," Remus said as he gathered his wash bag, a towel, and clean pajamas. "Besides, I have a whole week of homework to catch up on, and I need to study for the makeup test tomorrow."
"What makeup test?" James asked.
"I missed the History exam on Monday? I'm going to take it tomorrow."
James made a face. "Oh right yeah, that. I didn't study for it, and I got an O."
Sirius snorted. "You got an A."
"Er, close enough."
Remus arched an eyebrow. "There's an entire grade between A and O, how is that close enough?"
"If you cut off its legs and round it out, the top of an A can look like an O," James said with a cheeky grin. Remus rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh at that.
"I studied and I got a P," Peter grumbled, and Sirius pat his back.
"A P looks even more like an O," James said, completely not helpful in any way. Peter gave him an exasperated look. "Look, Binns is a dull bit of rubbish, and History doesn't matter."
Remus whipped his head around. "What?!"
"Bloody hell Jimsy, don't start him on that," Sirius muttered under his breath.
"History matters! How can you—why would you even—that's such a—okay, look—"
"Hoo boy," James moaned. "Go get your shower."
"No, you look—history is important, and—"
James jumped to his feet. "And yadda-yadda-yadda." He grabbed Remus's shoulders and turned him to face the door. "Go get your shower before you work yourself into a fit."
"History—"
"History's important, all right? That better?"
"No, you don't—"
"Great!" James gave him a gentle shove and shut the door behind him.
Remus stood in the hall, glaring at the shut door. "YOU WILL LISTEN TO MY LECTURE WHEN I COME BACK, JAMES POTTER, YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
"Okay Professor Lupin!" James's muffled voice shouted back.
Remus swore and stormed off to get a shower, knowing perfectly well what would happen when he was done. Sure enough, when he returned back to the dorm they were all gone. He crept down the stairs, peering into the common room. They were by the fireplace, chatting with some third years. There was nobody in the way, making James a perfect target.
Remus flicked his wand, whispering a spell, and watching the bit of light shoot across the room to get James. His hair began writhing and twisting, moving upwards to form two bunny ears. Remus covered his mouth and ran back to the dorm, laughing. He was about to throw himself onto his bed before changing his mind and rushing into the bathroom. He waited in the shower, not having to wait too long before hearing James storming up the steps, calling for him.
He draped his towel around his neck and stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. "Yes? Oh!"
James folded his arms tightly. "Don't you 'oh' me, you did this!"
Remus gave the most innocent look he could muster. "I was in the shower."
"You were not, you did this! I know you did!" Every time he moved his head the hair-ears swayed about, and wriggled. Remus began giggling. "Evans started calling me Beatrix Potter."
Now Remus burst into laughter again, doubling over. "That's brilliant!"
"No it's not!" James whined. "I don't even know what that means!"
"It's—oh, it's a Muggle thing," Remus wheezed out. "She wrote books about rabbits. Perhaps some chamomile tea will help—YAHHHH!" James had produced his wand, and Remus dove past him into the dorm, not wanting to go to the common room in his pajamas. "I'M SORRY!"
James chased him around, shooting out the rosodorus spell which was vastly unfair since Remus was the one to introduce it to them in the first place. Finally it hit, and Remus began sneezing rose petals all over the place.
"Serves you right."
"S'worth-CHOO! it, Potter Rabbit."
/\/\/\/\/\
Despite being tired, Remus stayed up rather late studying, and probably would have skipped breakfast Saturday morning if he was at his normal weight. He knew skipping would mean bringing the wrath of Pomfrey down on him, so he showed up with his History book to read while he ate. Not that he got much reading done, as the others discussed perhaps sneaking into Hogsmeade that night in order to hear the screams of the damned at Remus's house. Remus glanced up, asking if perhaps they could put it off another week since he was still pretty tired.
"You stayed up last night," Sirius pointed out.
"In bed," Remus argued. "Not traipsing all over the place."
"Ah, yeah, we can do it next week then," James said, mussing his hair up.
And hopefully next week I can figure out a way to put it off another week, Remus thought, returning to his book.
The test went pretty smoothly and Remus finished it up rather early, giving him more free time in the day. As usual, he had no clue where his friends went, and while he considered going to find them he wound up going to the library instead to work on all the essays he needed to do. All right, they weren't due right away but he didn't want them to sit too long. Aegis showed up at one point, and they worked on assignments together while whispering ideas about the pits.
After his lunchtime checkup with Pomfrey, he met up with the Marauders and they went out to Fort Dragon; it had been ages since they had been, and the weather was decent enough that they weren't frozen sitting on Dragon Rock. Especially when Remus placed some bluebell flames in the middle. Peter had also brought an enormous thermos of tea which they rationed out into four flasks, sipping at the hot liquid while they talked and listened to James's radio. Things were very relaxed until a certain song came on.
Full Moon Howl.
Remus had heard it several times since it came out, however typically it was in a more public setting like the common room. They hadn't heard it with it being just the four of them, not since the others found out the truth. As the words pierced the air James, Sirius, and Peter sat there staring at the radio with slightly slack-jawed looks.
Remus hunched over his flask of tea, trying to pretend like it wasn't a big deal as Kaeso sang all those awful things.
I'm a beast, my darling, and you make me do the full moon howl! AWOOOOOOO!
James dove off the rock, swearing loudly as he banged his knee against the stone, trying to get to the radio. He snapped it off and then turned to face Remus. "Shit, Remy. I'm sorry, I—Merlin that must have been awful for you, all those times I sang it..."
"S'fine," Remus replied. "You didn't know when it first came out."
"You could have said something," Peter said, forehead furrowed.
"Like what?" James asked. "We didn't know—couldn't know—so there wasn't much he could've said."
Pete frowned. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But, um, same as James, I'm real sorry for getting into the song."
"Honestly, it's all right. It's in the past." Before Pete or James could say anything else, Remus glanced at Sirius. "You already suspected at that point, didn't you? About me? When we first heard it?"
Sirius nodded, folding his arms. "Yeah, that's why I didn't like it. Was hoping that you'd tell me, around that point—"
A memory triggered in Remus's head and he jerked forward, eyes narrowing. "You mean when you suggested the every flavor bean of raw meat for werewolves?" he accused.
Sirius flushed faintly pink, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away. "Er, um, ahh—y-yeah, that, uh—that might've been one of the times I tried to secretly tell you that I knew."
"Ooh! I was so freaked out! I spent the next few days trying to figure out if you suspected or not!"
"What convinced you I didn't suspect?" Sirius asked curiously.
"When I asked you if—" Remus stopped quickly.
Sirius tilted his head. "When you asked what?"
They stared at each other for several long seconds then Remus said, quite loudly, that he was hungry and perhaps they should get back to the school? He slithered off the rock, trying to make a break for it.
Sirius quickly snagged the back of his coat. "Don't you do that, Lupin! You tell me right this second—"
"Leave me alone!" Remus yelped as he stumbled. Sirius still had a hold of his coat, and fell off the rock on top of Remus. "It's stupid!" he complained as they untangled their arms and legs. "It's not important!"
"Are you all right?" Sirius asked, extremely concerned. "I didn't break anything, did I?"
"No, I'm fine," he said, pushing away from Sirius and sitting up. "I may have lost weight but I'm not fragile."
"You look fragile," Peter pointed out.
"Hmph."
"Right well, come on, tell us," Sirius pushed.
"Yeah, I'm curious now," James said, and Peter agreed. Sirius grabbed hold of Remus's ankles, refusing to let go until he told them.
Remus groaned and covered his face, knowing they'd pester him until he caved in. Might as well get it over with. "Fine! It's when I asked you if you thought I was evil. You said no, so I assumed you didn't suspect. All right?"
Sirius blinked several times and released Remus's feet. "Wait a minute, really? That's what convinced you?!" Remus nodded. "You assumed since I thought—rightfully so—that you're a good person that I didn't suspect you were a werewolf?"
Remus peeked through his fingers. "In my defense, 99 percent of the magical population hates werewolves and thinks we're evil. So yes."
"In my defense, 99 percent of the magical populations are bloody idiots who should be thrown into a pit," grumbled Sirius. "Merlin. No. I never thought you were evil! I've said before, since October!"
"None of us did," Peter pointed out. "We've all said loads of times!"
"I—I know that now—" even though he'd never understand it, "—but of course I never imagined in a million years anyone would accept me!" He sat up, hands falling to his sides.
James clamored over, falling into the ground very unceremoniously, and hugged him. "Course we accept you," he said, squeezing carefully. "You're a Marauder, after all. All for one—"
"One for all," Sirius added.
"And four to end," Peter finished with a grin.
/\/\/\/\/\
Remus intended on sleeping in, but at around nine in the morning a school owl pecked at the window until Sirius let it in, and the owl dropped a note on Remus's face. He floundered a bit, nearly rolling out of bed before snatching the note and sitting up. It was from Regulus, saying he wouldn't be able to meet up that day. No explanation.
Probably doesn't want to risk being seen with me, he figured, yawning and swinging his legs out of bed. After debating for a moment whether to go back to sleep or not, he finally got to his feet to get ready for the day. After swinging by the Great Hall on the way to grab some muffins, he headed to the Quidditch Pitch.
"You're up earlier than I thought," Sirius said as Remus plonked down on Peter's other side.
"Owl woke me up," he yawned.
"Everything all right?" Pete asked.
"Eh? Oh, yeah, it's—" Remus hesitated, remembering he wasn't supposed to let Sirius know, "—I was supposed to help someone with some homework today but they couldn't make it," he said, not really telling a lie, just leaving out the who.
Sirius's hand snaked out and he took one of the many muffins from Remus's lap. "You could charge people for tutoring. That is a thing, I believe."
"May I have a muffin too?" Peter asked.
"I'm glad you asked," Remus said, offering one of the muffins. "'Least someone here has manners."
Sirius stared Remus dead in the eye as he crammed the entire muffin in his mouth.
Remus tried not to laugh. "How elegant." He picked one up, breaking it in half and biting into the warmth. After chewing and swallowing he said, "By the way, Sirius, you, Inkwood, and I do need to work on our Defense essay."
"Ugh!" Peter moaned. "Don't mention that, I've met with McNab and Spinnet once and it was a disaster! Okay," he said, when Remus asked what happened, "so Monday evening we met up 'n the library and Spinnet started complaining right off the bat, I mean he was complaining about having to spend his time working on this 'dumb' project and how it's ridiculous it's a month long." He shook his head, taking a bite of his muffin. "McNab said it was super easy, said we should throw information down without, um you know, making a list and not making it—basically coping it without using our own words, do a doodle, an' say it's done."
Remus winced, hoping Sirius and Inkwood took it a little more seriously. He remained silent, though, since he knew if he said those exact words Sirius would just make a pun with his name.
Peter glanced at Remus. "I mean, I know I'm not smart or anything but we should make it our own words, shouldn't we? That's what you say all the time, when you help us with our homework."
"Yes," Remus hissed out. "Copying down straight from the books would not only be plagiarism but also obvious laziness."
"Plajer-whatism?" Pete asked.
"Plagiarism," he explained, "is where you write down someone else's work and pass it off as your own."
"Sooooo, what we do all the time with you?" Sirius asked, reaching for another muffin.
Remus scooted out of reach. "That is... well, that is—that's slightly different—I mean, not really completely different but—that is... er," he coughed, "in any case, copying from the books like McNab suggested is obvious plagiarism, and wrong. You will absolutely get a bad grade, not to mention getting in trouble and not a fun sort of getting into trouble."
Peter gave the bleacher below them a kick. "Drat it! They better not wanna do that! I wanna get a decent grade!"
"I—I could help you," Remus offered.
"Oh! That's real tempting..." Peter trailed off then shook his head. "I dunno."
Remus could tell Peter wanted to say yes, but didn't want to admit it. He nudged Pete gently. "Think about it—hey!" he snapped as Sirius leaned way over, taking one of the remaining muffins. "Very rude!"
Sirius winked and tried to throw part of the muffin in his mouth but it missed and smacked his face instead. Remus and Peter burst into laughter until Peter began coughing on his food. Remus had to smack his back until he could breathe again.
"Smooth, Sirius—real smooth," Pete giggled once he could speak again. Sirius took the rest of the muffin, smooshing it into Pete's face. "Remus, avenge me!" he shrieked as he fell off the bench, wallowing on the floor.
"I am absolutely innocent!" Sirius protested, pushing himself farther from Remus.
Remus took the last muffin and tried to dive for Sirius but Sirius seized his wrists, wrestling with him till the two fell on the floor on top of Peter. The three of them all laughed and flailed until Remus managed to get the muffin into Sirius's face. Sirius tackled him and put him in a headlock, giving him a noogie. Peter tried to get him off but didn't succeed until Sirius was done destroying Remus's hair.
"When's the last time you got a shower?" Remus demanded, crawling back onto the bench, trying to smooth his hair down.
"I swear all he does in the shower is wash his hair," Peter said.
Remus snorted. "I'd believe it."
Sirius fake pouted. "Wow, you are both being exceedingly mean to me this morning. I am telling Jimsy."
"You're the one stealing my breakfast!" Remus pointed out, brushing all the crumbs off his trousers.
He wanted to make a joke about how he had been in the hospital for being severely underweight and Sirius was stealing his food, but he figured that would be a step too far. It sounded too... guilt-tripping, though he'd mean it as a joke. Perhaps making a joke about his size wouldn't be as bad? He really wanted to make it. Dare he risk it? Perhaps if he made it overtly joke-y about himself it might work.
His stomach burned with acidity as he licked his lips and said, "I am but a small child, and you, sir, are stealing my food."
Sirius stared at him for a split second too long and Remus was considering jumping off the back of the bleachers and running away when Sirius laughed. "Oh! Oh you are not pulling that!" He tried to sound intense but he was grinning too much for it to be taken any other way.
Remus smiled back, relieved his joke hadn't been awful. "I shall pull whatever I wish to pull."
Sirius extended his forefinger. "Pull this, and see what happens."
Remus scoffed and balled up his napkin, throwing it at Sirius who giggled, swatting it away. All three of them were quite giggly for the remainder of the practice. He was worried having such a nice morning would mean something would go wrong later in the day, but the rest of the day went nice too. The Marauders spent pretty much every waking moment together except for an hour when James and Sirius had to go write lines; Peter and Remus hung out in the Great Hall waiting for them, playing cards. Other than that, they barely left one another's side, and there was a lot of joking, laughter, giggles, and fun.
Remus hoped the rest of the week would go like that, but considering the fact Sirius and Inkwood were friends again (or whatever they were) he knew working together for the group project would be difficult. Especially if Sirius decided to spend the entire time flirting. Though he had to admit them flirting was probably easier to deal with than them yelling or not speaking with one another. Well, easier for the project. For him? Maybe not so much. Which he needed to get over, because it was absolutely ridiculous.
Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way, he thought in the late evening. The four were in the common room, playing board games. Perhaps I shouldn't try to think about girls—obviously I'm not there yet. Yet. Soon, not yet. Thinking about them isn't going to help. Perhaps I should focus on school. If I push myself more into school, and coming up with pranks, and all of that, maybe that will help diminish my brain thinking about how aesthetically pleasing Sirius is.
Yes. That was a great idea.
Besides, thinking about school was loads easier than thinking about girls.
