How To Embarrass a Guy in 10 Ways
Jerry chatted it up for a few minutes—mostly with Maggie and Glenn—before hurrying off back to the kitchen, reminding Maggie to keep him in mind for catering and give him a call when the wedding plans were starting to become solid. He passed by Carol, who was heading straight for their table with a stack of six clean pie plates and six shiny dessert forks in her hands.
She approached with a smile, surveying the group and quirking an eyebrow as she set the stack of plates down with the forks on top. She began to gather their empty plates and used silverware.
"Y'all doin' alright? Should I bring some more coffee and sweet tea?" She offered, stacking Shawn's plate and then Maggie's and Glenn's and finally Hershel's atop the crook of her arm. She eyed Daryl and added, "Everybody behavin' over here?"
Could she sense the taut tension hanging between Shawn and Daryl, and everyone else at the table? Beth wondered.
Hershel chuckled and said, "More coffee would be great, Carol. And y'know, your roommate is a real gentleman. Why didn't you introduce us sooner?"
Carol laughed, catching Beth's eye for just a second. She told Hershel, "Well it just never crossed my mind. Now I'm wishin' I had. Y'all seem to be getting on like a wildfire. Hell, I never took Daryl for the church-going type." She glanced down at Daryl and flashed a playful smile. "Why didn't you tell me you were interested? Would've invited you along with Sophia and I for a Sunday Service."
Daryl shrugged bashfully and looked quickly away from Carol's eyes. Beth could tell they were exchanging more than simple niceties with their body language. She could only guess that this would be an interesting conversation between them later.
"Wasn't really interested till Hershel invited me," Daryl muttered. He stabbed his fork into the final piece of his waffle that remained on his plate.
"We're just tryin' ta get to know him," Shawn piped up, giving Carol his most polite smile. "Real interesting roommate ya got here, Carol."
"To say the least." Carol chuckled. "Gotta be honest with you though, I reckon he's one of the most upstanding men I've ever known." She nudged Daryl's shoulder affectionately. "You want some more coffee, Shawn? To go with your cobbler?"
Shawn's polite smile disappeared and he bit down on his lower lip. Then he shrugged and said, "Yes, please. When ya get a chance."
Carol nodded in affirmation and checked on everyone else, adding Daryl's plate to the stack in her arms once he handed it over. Then she was off again, disappearing to the back and returning a second later with a pot of hot coffee in one hand and a pitcher of iced sweet tea in the other. She refilled their drinks without a word before hustling away to attend to another table that was flagging her down. In that time, the Greene table had helped themselves to the cobbler between them, portioning out slices amongst one another. Beth pushed aside her plate of uneaten toast and eggs, having only eaten one waffle and two pieces of chicken. She just didn't have much of an appetite today, all things considered. The whole ordeal had taken a bit of a toll on her body, and this was one of those tolls. Regardless, she was never one to turn down Jerry's famous cobbler.
Thankfully, the tension seemed nearly forgotten as everyone began digging into their dessert. Because who could be even the slightest bit upset when they were tasting the first delicious bites of raspberry cobbler? A silence fell over them, as it tends to do during particularly delicious meals, with everyone too caught up in the food on their plates. Beth was still watching Daryl from the corner of her eye, certain that he would be tense with stress and more uncomfortable than ever. But he seemed totally content. He was enjoying his cobbler the same as the rest of her family. At one point, he glanced over and met her gaze, and he lifted his eyebrows in an unspoken "what's up, this is good, you enjoying it too?" It was nothing more than that, though.
She felt relieved. This was going much better than she'd expected. But to be fair, she'd expected the worst. So anything above that was an achievement of sorts.
Then Merle showed up behind her, elbows propped on the top of the divider that sat between her booth and his.
Should've known that wouldn't last long.
He reeked of cigarettes and malice, but she wasn't sure anyone else could smell it. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard behind her, causing her to reflexively bristle, her shoulders going stiff.
"Better start growin' a fuckin' spine an' keepin' that snotty brother'a yers in check, blondie," he said. "He thinks he knows everything, well I tell ya what, he's got another thing comin'. Talkin' 'bout Daryl like that—likely ta get his ass beat out back as soon as this pretty li'l lunch is over. And you think that bitchy sister would step in to stop it? 'Cause I sure don't. Hell, I'm thinkin' she might be itchin' to see Daryl beat some sense into that boy."
Beth didn't respond, didn't even turn her head or acknowledge his presence. But she knew that he knew that she could hear every word. And she also knew he could tell how much it was bothering her. Somehow, he always knew. Just like he was somehow always listening.
She tried to focus on the new conversation sprouting up between her family, tried to listen to the questions her daddy was asking Maggie. But Merle kept talking, and he was all she could hear, turning the rest to background noise.
"Even if you think he won't… he will, sweetheart." He cackled. "I seen him do it. He don't like when people make assumptions. He don't like bein' looked down on. 'Member how I told you he's like a stray cat? Keep feedin' him, he'll keep comin' around. But that don't mean he'll let ya pet him. Sure as hell ain't gonna let ya put no goddamn collar 'round his neck, or shove him into some cage. He's got claws, darlin'. Sharp ones. You can't see 'em, but they're there. Just waitin' to rip you to shreds."
Beth lightly shook her head, unnoticed by the rest of the table, and swallowed a bite of cobbler with a dry throat. It no longer tasted as sweet. She gently set her fork down and pushed the plate of remaining crust away.
"Yeah," Merle goaded, and she could hear the grin on his face. "Y'all ain't seen nothin' yet. Ain't a pretty sight when he gets mad—when he gets backed into a corner. And this stifling fuckin' family of yours is backin' him in, real nice and tight. Just you watch, princess… you'll see."
She took a long swig of lukewarm coffee and once again tried to focus on the conversation amongst her family. But suddenly, Daryl's presence felt like a distinct heat sitting an arm's reach away. She could've swore she felt him radiating; a low-frequency rage that she hadn't noticed before. A nuclear reactor on the brink of meltdown.
Or was she just imagining it?
Had she allowed her brother to berate her new friend? To overstep his boundaries and interrogate the last living Dixon? What the hell was she supposed to do to stop it? How could she fix this?
Or was Merle playing devil's advocate in her ear right now? As he was so prone to doing.
Maybe he was right, though. In a way. Maybe she should be stepping in, "growing a spine," standing up for Daryl. But then what if Daryl took offense? What if he thought Beth was assuming he couldn't stand up for himself? It wasn't like he was her boyfriend or something—she didn't need to defend him. Not really. Wouldn't that be like "emasculating" him? And men hate when you do that. Don't they? Was Daryl like most men in that sense?
Crap. She was overthinking everything just because Merle had gotten into her head. How the hell did he keep doing that?
"What's prettyboy li'l Shawn's problem, anyhow?" Merle prattled on a few inches from Beth's ear. "He got some kinda vendetta against trailer trash? The hell'd me an' my brother ever do to him? I'm startin' to think that church y'all go to done went an' filled his head with some kinda undeserved sense of superiority."
Beth had to bite her tongue at that. You're one to talk, and you never even went to church, she wanted to say.
"—but we're just not really sure about a honeymoon," Maggie was saying, half her piece of cobbler sitting untouched on the plate before her. "I mean, if we can save some money back between now an' then, maybe. But I'm still payin' off some of those old bills, and I hate puttin' back money that could go towards that."
"Twenty bucks here, twenty bucks there, that's no difference. And it'll add up before you know it," Hershel assured, sipping his coffee leisurely. "Once you got the apartment and made the official move into the city, I certainly never expected that you would spend every extra dime on us, Mags. Those bills can sit for a few more years, they're not gonna get any worse."
"Well, I'm looking for a new job," Glenn chimed in. "And I actually already did an interview for one already, so if the second one goes well, that'd mean I'll make three times as much as I do now. So we were kinda thinking—"
Maggie put a hand on her future husband's arm and gave him a meaningful smile. "Babe, not at the dinner table. We can talk about it later—in private." Her eyes flicked over towards Daryl's direction.
Glenn nodded in understanding and shut his mouth, shrugging sheepishly.
Before the silence could get awkward, she turned and set her sights on Shawn, and bluntly asked, "So Shawn, have you still been talkin' to that Carly girl?"
Shawn immediately blushed, looking up from his cobbler to meet Maggie's gaze with surprise. "I wasn't really talking to her, it was just a couple Facebook messages."
"Carly?" Hershel asked curiously. "Fred Mullins' daughter?"
"Oh," Beth spoke up, grinning over at her brother. "From high school? Wasn't there a Carly Mullins in your class?"
"That's her!" Maggie confirmed.
His blush grew brighter and he shrugged, looking down at his plate.
"He's being shy, how cute," Maggie teased, laughing. Then she turned to Hershel, Beth, and Daryl and explained, as though she were sharing some juicy gossip, "He said she messaged him on Facebook a couple months ago about reconnecting. She just moved back to town last year after her divorce."
Hershel was smirking, and even Daryl had lifted his head to pay attention, the hint of an amused glint in his eyes.
"Did you guys move on to texting yet?" Beth asked, grinning.
"Shut up," Shawn mumbled. He refused to look up and meet anyone's gaze. "Ain't like that."
"Oh, please," Maggie said. "She's cute, Shawn. And I always thought she had a crush on you—didn't she ask you to prom one year?"
"I had a girlfriend," Shawn muttered. "Carly went with somebody else."
"Oh yeah, you were with that Melissa girl," Beth remembered aloud. "But you guys broke up the day before prom and you went alone, didn't you?"
"Aww, it's meant to be!" Maggie cooed. "They missed their chance in high school and now they're rekindling the old flame. How romantic!"
Shawn sighed. "Maggie, shut the f—"
"Hey now," Hershel cut in, a half-smile barely hidden beneath his white beard. "Don't tease him, girls."
"I'm not teasing," Maggie said. "I'm happy that my brother might be gettin' some action. For once."
Beth smiled playfully but didn't say anything. She was secretly thinking, Thank God. Maybe that's what Shawn needs—to get laid. Maybe he'd finally lighten up a little bit.
Then Merle piped up behind her, "Shit, maybe that's what yer brother needs. He might actually lighten the fuck up if he got some pussy."
Jesus. Was Beth starting to think like Merle?
She'd been spending way too much time with him.
"Alright." Hershel's tone went stern and his smile disappeared. "Enough of that talk at the table. We're in public."
"Oh whatever, Dad," Maggie responded, a mischievous smirk plastered on her lips. "You want grandkids, don't you?"
Hershel chuckled. "Of course I do. Preferably from you first. Speaking of which, y'all have names picked out yet? Your mother and I were lookin' through baby name books for two years before you came along. I think we decided on Margaret about a month before we conceived you—"
"Please stop there," Maggie said, putting up a hand, an expression of humorous disgust on her face. "Dad. Really. We just got engaged."
Shawn joined in, eager to turn the unwanted spotlight from himself onto her. "Well what's the plan then, Mags? Y'all aren't gonna be engaged too long, are ya?"
Maggie rolled her eyes, shooting Shawn a glare. She took a sip of sweet tea and sombered, then she replied, "I think I'm gonna see how my career goes first before divin' into any other big commitments. I mean, I don't wanna be the kinda mom who hires a nanny and works nine to nine only to make it home for bedtime. And I sure don't expect Glenn to become a stay-at-home dad."
"I suck at changing diapers," Glenn commented. "Like, I really suck. I kinda helped raise my little sisters, but I didn't do all the hard parts."
"I'm sure you'll work it out," Hershel said, smiling contentedly. "The future is a long ways away. Work comes first, unfortunately." Then he turned his head and set his gaze on Daryl, who was hunched over in silence, watching and listening like the single member of an audience. He seemed to have forgotten himself, and straightened his back as soon as the Greene patriarch laid eyes on him. "Wouldn't you agree, Daryl?"
Beth interjected, "Daddy, he doesn't—"
Hershel shook his head and cut her off, "I didn't mean anything like that. I'm just curious where you might see yourself in a few years, son. You work at the tire shop, right?"
Daryl nodded wordlessly.
"You've been there a little while now, haven't ya? You like it there? I've heard you're the most knowledgeable mechanic they have," Hershel said casually. "Seems it may be the only thing you're really passionate about, if the hearsay is anything to go by."
Daryl shrugged. He was stiff with tension, though he responded in a mirrored casual tone. "I s'pose so. Only thing I've found I'm any good at. It pays the bills, and I like the guys I work with. Can't complain."
"Did you ever go to school for automotive repair?" Maggie asked, offering him a warm smile from across the table. "Like a vocational school or somethin'?"
"Nah," he shook his head. "Never had the money fer nothin' like that. Just kinda picked it up over the years."
"So you're self-taught," Hershel remarked. "Even more impressive."
"Well, I'ono about self-taught," Daryl muttered, growing a bit bashful. "Learned all the basics from my old man, an' then Merle ended up teachin' me everything he learned in the Service."
"It was mostly our old man," Merle said in Beth's ear. "He got tired'a fixin' his own truck. Had Daryl out there gettin' some hands-on training as soon as he was old enough ta hold a wrench. I'd like ta think I was a better teacher, though—'least I didn't give the boy an ass-beating every time he fucked somethin' up."
She struggled to keep the polite smile on her face. It seemed that every time Merle or Daryl brought up their dad, it was something that made her want to cry a little. For the both of them. No child should be treated the way the Dixon boys were treated by their own father.
"So you like it at the shop?" Shawn asked, eager to jump back to the previous subject. "You gonna make a career out of it? Take the place over once Old Man Jackson dies?"
Daryl huffed out a breath of amusement. "No way. Wouldn't feel right, even if he asked me. His son's s'posed ta take over. Kid ain't half bad, neither. I think he'll do alright once his pa is gone."
That wasn't the answer Shawn had been expecting. Nonetheless, he followed up quickly. "So what kinda career are you gonna have? Just gonna be a mechanic the rest of your life?"
Maggie hissed, "Shut up!" And nudged Shawn with her knee under the table. He shot her a scowl and rolled his eyes.
Hershel sighed and said, "You're awfully confrontational today, Shawn. Haven't I taught you how to treat guests? Or have you forgotten your manners?"
But Daryl interjected, his eyes locked on Shawn's, "Nah, 'salright. Decent question. Can't say I got much of an answer for ya, though. I never really thought about a career. Still tryin' ta wrap my head around the idea. Just been kinda… takin' it day by day."
"Nothin' wrong with that," Hershel said, smiling at Daryl.
"I guess if you're in your twenties," Shawn muttered. "Or thirties."
"And what place of experience are you speakin' from?" Hershel turned to his son, smile disappearing. "I was takin' things day by day when I met your mama. Might not have met her if I'd been focusing on a career or drowning myself in work. So what are you implying here, son? Should I be offended?"
Shawn's face went beet red and he stammered out an apology. "No, Dad, I-I didn't mean—I'm sorry, I was just wonderin'..."
Daryl spoke up, seemingly unaffected by Shawn's blunt passive-aggressive tactics at dismantling his confidence. "Wonderin' what I wanna do with the rest of my life?" He shrugged. "That's fair, I reckon. Seein' yer sister gettin' engaged pro'lly puts some new concerns in yer head, huh?"
Hershel's eyebrows raised, as did Maggie's and Glenn's and even Beth's. They all seemed surprised at how swiftly Daryl was shooting Shawn down. Without actually shooting him down.
"You just gonna sit here like some kinda puppet with no hand up yer ass, blondie? Or are you gonna speak the fuck up an' put that weasly bastard in his place 'fore my brother does it for ya?" Merle taunted in her ear. "If this is how you let your friends be treated by yer own family, I'd hate ta be yer enemy."
Beth cleared her throat and inserted herself into the conversation. "You're right—I think we're all kinda thinkin' that way. Really puts things into perspective, in a sense. It's the biggest change we've had in… years."
"It certainly is," Hershel agreed. "But might I say, it's the best change we've had in years." He beamed proudly towards Maggie and Glenn.
"But actually," Beth added, looking first to her brother and then to her dad. "Daryl was tellin' me how he's been thinking about starting his own business in the city. Like his own mechanic shop, with one of his friends from work."
Hershel's eyes lit up with surprise and intrigue. "Is that so? That's a fantastic idea. I think you should go for it, Daryl. Being your own boss can be challenging, but it's a sort of pride that you can't really find anywhere else."
Daryl nodded meekly. "Yeah. Maybe I will. Thanks." He was slowly withering beneath the spotlight, though he was pushing on as best he could and trying not to let it show.
"So," Maggie said. "'Cause I've got marriage on the brain, for obvious reasons—" She shot Beth a coy smirk and Beth's eyes widened, knowing exactly what was coming and silently begging her sister to shut her mouth. "—what d'you think about it, Daryl? D'you think marriage and kids is something you might want someday?"
Oh, Lord. Why had Beth ever thought this would be a good idea? She should've intervened before her daddy ever invited Daryl. They were torturing him. And her.
Hershel chuckled and pretended not to notice the way Daryl's cheeks flushed and his head lowered. "C'mon now, Maggie. Don't interrogate the poor guy."
Maggie shrugged, still smirking. "I was just askin'. Yer never too old for new beginnings. Isn't that what you've always said, Daddy?"
Hershel's eyes twinkled. Shawn was snickering to himself, and Glenn seemed to be feeling Daryl's second-hand embarrassment. Beth bit her tongue and glanced over at Daryl, but she couldn't see his face behind the curtain of shaggy, dark hair.
"Never put much thought into it," Daryl mumbled awkwardly. "Still haven't. Dunno if I will."
Merle was laughing obnoxiously behind Beth. "Christ almighty, if I'd known this shit would be this entertaining, I never woulda stepped outside to smoke!"
Beth happened to spot Carol from the corner of her eye. She quickly turned and waved her down, trying to be discreet so her family didn't notice.
It was well past time for this horrendously awkward lunch to be over with.
to be continued…
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's been leaving comments! They mean the world to me and it's always so lovely to hear what you guys think. Also, your feedback helps me build the story, and sometimes your comments give me ideas and inspiration for certain things to include or exclude, as well as points that I should touch on. So thank you for that! It's always extremely helpful to get outsider perspectives, because y'all have a way of looking at the story that I couldn't get otherwise. I hope you're still enjoying, and I hope you continue to enjoy. We're getting into the last third of the story now, so I'm confident it will be wrapping up within the next year (as long as life doesn't throw some crazy curveball at me before then lol). Thank you for reading! :)
