This chapter is a lot of Amy and Rachel talking openly about sex, so if that's not for you, you should stop reading when the POV changes to Rachel and Amy.
It was no surprise to Shelby that Rachel asked if she could go to Amy's when Shelby went into school to prepare for the new term, and, after checking it was okay with her sister, Shelby dropped Rachel off a little after 10am and headed to McKinley.
She grabbed the box of folders from her back seat and kicked the door shut, locking the car as she walked across the parking lot. She'd always dreaded this time of year at Carmel, hated that she felt solely responsible for much of the school's funding, the start of each year filling her with stress as she tried to replace the students that had graduated, and come up with set lists for performances that would see Vocal Adrenaline win another national championship. She didn't feel that anymore, was glad she could just focus on teaching. She loved coaching New Directions, and she'd arranged to speak to Will about his plans for the group over lunch, but she liked that the majority of the stress and hassle of running a show choir no longer fell on her shoulders.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost bumped into someone as she walked into the building, "are you okay?" Shelby asked after apologising for almost walking into the woman, "you look a little lost."
The woman turned to face Shelby and smiled sheepishly, "I don't suppose you could point me in the direction of my homeroom could you, or the staffroom? It's my first time being anywhere but the office, I haven't quite got my bearings yet."
Shelby couldn't help but smile as she took in the woman stood before her, she looked to be a similar age to Shelby, her bleached blonde hair cut into a choppy bob and she wore a white v neck tshirt tucked into dark, straight cut jeans, "sorry" Shelby realised she'd been staring, hoping her cheeks weren't as red as they felt, "the staffroom's just down there on the left" she shifted her hold on the boxes so she could gesture down the corridor, "and I probably can tell you where your homeroom is but you might have to give me a room number first" she teased playfully.
The woman laughed, "sorry, it's room 147" she glanced down at the number scribbled on the back of her hand in blue biro.
"We'll you're in luck" Shelby grinned, "my homeroom's 142 so I can definitely show you where your room is. Shelby Corcoran, I teach English and codirect the show choir" she held out her free hand.
"Liv, Liv Harris" she returned the handshake, "McKinley's newest Math teacher."
"It's a pleasure to meet you" Shelby smiled, "we're this way" she said as she began to walk towards their classrooms.
Rachel meanwhile was surprised to find that Jimmy had taken Lily and Max out, "they'll be back for lunch, they both want to see you but I wanted you to myself for a little bit" Amy told Rachel.
Rachel wouldn't complain at that. Although she felt ready to be going back to school full time, she knew she'd miss the time she spent with her Aunt, and with her youngest cousin just a few weeks away from being born, Rachel was happy to spend as much time as possible with her Aunt while she still could. "That sounds good to me" she smiled.
"There is something I want to ask you while it's just me and you" Amy said as she sat beside Rachel, "and I want you to be honest with me, I won't judge you and I won't tell your Mom."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, not sure what her Aunt could want to ask her.
"You and Noah" Amy looked at Rachel, "do you need condoms?"
Rachel smiled at the fact her Aunt was so direct. "We're not… we haven't, not yet, but Mom bought me some anyway." It had been slightly awkward when Shelby had handed Rachel the box of condoms, telling her that she'd rather Rachel had them and didn't use them than didn't have one when she needed one, but even so, Rachel appreciated that her family were so open about things like this.
"Good" Amy nodded, "has she shown you how to use them?" Rachel shook her head and Amy nodded, "okay, just give me a minute." Amy pushed herself to her feet and left the room, returning a few minutes later with two bananas in her hand, "here" she handed one to Rachel as she pulled a strip of foil packets and a small bottle out of her pocket, placing the bottle on the side and handing Rachel a condom, "it's no use having them if you don't know how to use them properly" she said as she sat beside her niece, "and you and he should both know how to use them."
"Okay" Rachel nodded, she knew Amy always got straight to the point but she was still a little surprised by this, although she supposed it was slightly less mortifying than if she was having this talk with her Mom and suddenly she couldn't help but chuckle, "sorry" she was quick to apologise when she saw the look on Amy's face, "it just seems a bit weird, you showing me this…" she gestured to the condoms, "while you're…" she gestured to Amy's bump.
Amy laughed too, "consider it a warning, learn how to do this" she pointed to the banana before moving her hand to her stomach, "or end up like this" she joked.
"Okay" Rachel laughed.
"If you do…" Amy thought for a minute, "I'm sure you've had the health classes at school, if you use them properly, condoms are a great form of birth control, but things can go wrong, things can rip, things can be forgotten in the heat of the moment, accidents happen. And if they happen to you, please don't be ashamed, don't be scared to come to me, whether you want help getting emergency contraception or whether you think it's too late for that, come to me, whatever happens I won't judge you Rach. We don't shout about it for obvious reasons, but I was taking birth control and nine times out of ten Jim and I used condoms but I still got pregnant with Max, so when I tell you I won't judge you, I mean it because I've been there too. "
"Thank you" Rachel whispered, knowing her Aunt was being genuine, that there was nothing she could do that the woman would judge her for that she could always come here for help and advice without having to worry.
"You don't need to thank me Pretty Girl" Amy kissed the top of Rachel's head, "now. Always check the expiration date" Amy gestured to the numbers printed on the foil packet in her hand, "and push it down inside the packet before you open it" Amy showed Rachel, waiting for the teen to copy her, "it makes you less likely to rip it, and as sexy as it might seem to tear the packet open with your teeth or roll it on with your mouth, stick to using your hands, the last thing you want to do is bite a hole in it." She held the banana between her knees as she walked Rachel through covering the fruit with the condom, explaining what she was doing and why, watching as Rachel followed her instructions before showing her how to remove it safely too, "got it?" she asked once Rachel had done, "or do you want another go?"
Rachel looked up at Amy, seeing no judgement on her Aunt's face as she asked, "can I have another go?"
"Sure" Amy handed another condom over, "you can have as many goes as you need until you feel confident enough to do it for real when the time comes." She didn't join in this time, instead watching to make sure Rachel did it properly, "that's it" she smiled as Rachel dropped the knotted condom onto the coffee table, "again?"
Rachel shook her head, "I think I'm okay".
"Okay" Amy nodded, "but if you do want to try it again in future, you just need to say, I won't judge you."
"Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me Rachel, I know what it's like to be a teenager, and I know your Mom won't mind you talking to her about things like this, but I know it's hard sometimes simply because she is your Mom. I'd rather we had a few awkward conversations that educated you and gave you all the knowledge you need to make safe and sensible choices, than have you being uninformed and unaware and having to potentially deal with the consequences of that."
"I know" Rachel nodded, "and I, I feel lucky I guess, I know a lot of girls don't have anyone they can talk to like this"
"There is absolutely nothing in this world that you can't come talk to me, or your Mom, about Rachel"
"I know" Rachel nodded.
"There is something else I want to talk to you about though, something your Mom might not have mentioned."
"Okay."
"Sex is great" Amy told Rachel, "but it can be sucky sometimes too, and I'll be honest, your first time probably isn't going to be great, it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable and it might be a little painful too, but it won't always be like that okay?" Rachel nodded, "so I wanted to give you this" she handed over the bottle from earlier, "like the condoms, it's better for you to have that ready for when you need it, believe me, the more… lubricated, you are, the easier it will be." Rachel glanced down at the sealed bottle in her hand, '100% natural, organic water based lubrication'. "And if you want to buy more, or try something different, stick to water or silicone based, anything with oil in could damage the condom, and don't be tempted to use vaseline or hand lotion or anything like that, not only are they not good for condoms, they're not things you particularly want to be putting inside yourself either." Rachel nodded and Amy could tell she had something on her mind, "Rach…"
Rachel gestured to the bottle, "shouldn't I… I mean, won't he… if I need this, won't he be a bit… offended."
Amy smiled, "teenage boys and foreplay don't always go hand in hand, but even so, if he cares about you enough to have sex with you, then he shouldn't be bothered by this. If he's going to take your virginity then he should be happy to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable, if he gets offended by a bottle of lube then I think that maybe you need to reconsider if he's really the right person for you to be sleeping with." She saw Rachel looked unsure, "I didn't buy that just to give it you, Jim and I have been sleeping together for 10 years, and there's always been a couple of bottles of lube in the bedside drawer, he's never been bothered by it, and whilst you probably don't want all the details of my sex life, that can make things feel nicer for him too, a little bit of friction is good, but nobody wants too much."
"Will it hurt a lot?" Rachel asked nervously.
"I can't answer that" Amy answered honestly, "that depends on a lot of things, but what I will tell you, is being relaxed will make things easier, and one of the best ways to be as relaxed as possible is to wait until you're sure you're ready. I know there's always going to be some level of doubt, but the more certain you are that it's what you want, the less tense you're going to be. You could always try a position where you're on top too" she said honestly, "it means you have to do a lot of the work but it also means that you're in control of the speed and the… the force of things. The only other advice I can give you is to take it slowly, give your body time to adjust and don't force things, and please, don't ever be afraid to ask him to stop if it's too much for you. And I hope to God you never need to do this Rachel, but if you're ever with anyone and they don't stop when you ask them to, politeness, manners, it all goes out of the window. If you're in a situation where someone won't listen to you asking them to stop, fight, kick and scream, do whatever you need to attract attention or scare them into stopping."
"Okay" Rachel nodded.
Amy took Rachel's hand, guessing Rachel would know she was speaking from experience as she told her, "if you ever find yourself in that situation and you can't fight and scream, then that's okay too" she told her, "I know sometimes that when you're scared you just freeze and you can't get away. I hope it never happens to you, but if it does just stay safe, stay safe until you can leave, and if you don't feel like you can go home, you come here, you come here or you call me and I'll make sure you're safe okay?"
Rachel nodded, "I know I'll always be safe here."
"You've got no idea how happy that makes me Pretty Girl. My home will always be open to you, and I hope you see it as a safe space, that you can come to no matter what's going on in your life."
"Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me" Amy told her, "is there anything else you want to ask?" she asked Rachel, pulling her into her side and kissing her hair.
Rachel snuggled into Amy, resting her head in her Aunt's shoulder, "how, how will I know that I really am ready?" she asked, feeling more comfortable speaking to her aunt than she would her Mom.
Amy was silent for a minute, thinking back to when she and Jim had first taken that step in their relationship. "It sounds like a cliché but I think there comes a point where you just know. With Jimmy and I, we'd been together for maybe a year or so, we didn't rush it and there just came a point where we were making out, we were both getting a bit handsy like we had quite a few times before, we were only in our underwear, under the covers, again like we'd done before and, I don't know, we just sort of silently agreed that we were going to do it. And I know Jimmy and I ended up getting married, but when I think about it, I honestly don't think I'd regret losing my virginity to him the way I did, even if we weren't still together."
"Okay"
Amy kissed Rachel's hair again, "I know a lot of your friends might be talking about things they've done or whatever, but take it from someone who's been there Rach, you need to do what's right for you, and if that means waiting until you're 18, 21, 30 then do that, it might be hard but try not to feel pressured into doing anything you're not ready for."
"I won't, I, we haven't done anything like that but Noah, he's said we can take everything at my pace. He said he won't force me into anything and I, I don't think he will."
Amy smiled, "I'm glad to hear that, it means I won't have to kill him" she teased.
Rachel rolled her eyes, "not you too, it's bad enough having Mom warn him off."
"Where do you think I learned it from?" Amy laughed, "when everyone found out Jim had proposed to me, Matt and Luke told him they weren't going to give him the 'protective big brother speech' because they knew that, if he hurt me, anything they could do to him would seem like fun compared to what your Mom would do. But don't worry, you can have your turn in ten years or so when Max and Lily start dating."
"10 years?" Rachel laughed, "I suppose that's long enough for you and Mom to teach me all I need to know."
"I'm sure it is" Amy smiled, "and don't worry, I'll make sure Lily knows she can go to you with all her embarassing questions so I don't have to deal with them."
"Oh thanks" Rachel rolled her eyes.
Amy laughed and kissed Rachel's hair, winking playfully as she told her, "you're welcome Pretty Girl."
